The Tree!
by edward6234
Summary: How to explain the different levels of love? I'll use a tree to help me explain. All human and have been friends since childhood, teenagers now.
1. Chapter 1

The Tree!

People's relationships in life are like a tree. The tree itself is like a person and all the pieces of that tree are the things in our lives.  
>You have leaves, branches, fruit, flowers, bugs, and animals.<br>Each of these different things represent different elements of someone's life, such as; family, friends, dates, lovers, random people and even pets or animals in their lives.  
>Explaining the different levels of love as well as explaining what love is and how it works might be easier to understand if we work with an idea like a tree.<br>Lets say that every part of the tree represents an element.

1. Branches = family  
>2. Leave = friends<br>3. Fruit = dates  
>4. Animals = pets and animals<br>5. Flowers = random people  
>6. Bugs = lovers.<p>

1. Ok so every tree has branches just as every person has family. They are just as much a part of you as you are to yourself.  
>2. Leaves on a tree come and go as often as friends will come and go in a person's life. Some last longer than others but they have never been a constant part of a person's life.<br>3. Fruit on a tree is long lasting but in time it will either rot or ripen, all the same it will fall from the tree just as all dates will rotten out or fall out in a person's life. Dating is fun at the time but in time the moments will pass and where one fruit falls another will be waiting to grow in its place next year.  
>4. Animals in a tree may come to visit or come to live so the time they are there is always different just as with the animals and pets in a person's life. People are surrounded by animals all the time, even if they don't have pets; they come and go and the amount of time they stick around varies from animal to animal.<br>5. Flowers on a tree can be rare or can happen every year but there can never be a flower that lasts very long just as with the random people in daily life. People will come and go all the time and some are more noticed than others but all are important in the end.  
>6. Bugs, the more complicated to describe because can be so many different kinds on a tree at once or there could be the one that stands out above the rest just as with the different lovers in a person's life. A person may go a whole life time with one or two different lovers or they may end up having multiple lovers, some times at the very same time. Love is a complicated thing all on its own but when you realize there is more than one person for you at the same time, it makes it pretty hard to know what to do. Bugs on a tree can make you feel the same way; take the ants for example, many different kinds of ants could be crawling on the same tree and working together in perfect harmony but something happens to some of the ants then the others get confused and have to back track to find out what the problem is. On the other hand you have bugs like the Locust or cicada, most people believe these rather noisy tree lovers travel in big groups but in truth they only seem that way once they have reached the part of the tree they like. A locust has to crawl from its hole and reach a tree to hatch its shell long before it can fly and it has to do all of this on its own. Now, what do these bugs have to do with loves you may ask? Well, in life different people have different life styles when it comes to love. Some are free living and others choose a mate and settle down, others have a long journey to go before they find the right one and others find this person right a way. Bugs are much like people when it comes to the life styles of love. We all travel in different cycles but in the end we should all mange to find the right path for us. Life can be hard sometimes but if we take the time to look around we could all learn a lot from many of the things around us every single day. We just need to learn to open our eyes!<p>

…

The tree!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is Twilight or owned by another person.

Summery: How to explain the different levels of love? I'll use a tree to help me explain. All human and have been friends since childhood, teenagers now.

Bella's POV.

I had been sitting outside, under this tree for many hours now. I was just out for a walk and ended up stopping to rest under the shade. I never expected my thoughts to run away with me as they had but before I knew it my mind was giving me a whole new way to look at the world. Love was a complicated thing but it was even more difficult to explain what it was and how it worked. What if we used the things around us, things that we see every day to explain? … Or at the very least to understand it ourselves. Could something as simple and yet as complicated as a tree be able to help us understand love? I was beginning to believe it could.

"Bella!" I heard a voice call from somewhere in the distance, it wasn't just any voice though _it was Edward_. "There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you, I was worried about you!"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make anyone worry." I said honestly but still making no move to leave my spot under the tree.

"What are you doing out here?" Edward asked a little more forcefully as he came closer to me, under the shade now.

"I just needed a minute to myself so I went out for a walk." I answered simply but that didn't help, Edward did not look pleased with the simplicity of my answer or maybe it was just my answer.

"BELLA!" He sounded a little out of breath and his face was tinted red with his anger … or maybe it was from his stress. "I told you before that I didn't want you out walking around alone. Its dangerous and you know how easy you can get lost!"

"I'm sorry Edward, I just needed to get out of there." I whispered softly while looking up past him to the sky, it was very difficult not to stare at his over the top gorgeousness but _I managed_.

"I wish you would have at least waited for me to get back." He said a lot softer now as he came and sat in the grass beside me.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't handle all the couples in that house being all cuddly and cute." I said as I wrinkled my nose, it was nice to see them all so happy _but I'm not, _so it's a little harder.

"Yeah, they can be a little hard to bear sometimes." Edward agreed while he was stretching out against the tree.

Alice had Jasper and Rose had Emmett while Edward and I were the only ones in our little group that didn't have anyone. I personally feel that love sucks, its pointless and cruel; _that is unless you actually have somebody to love_. That makes the difference but Edward didn't quite agree with me there, he just claimed that no one that asked him out was the right one for him. _Ha_, I didn't believe that there was a right one for me. But given what I had been thinking about today, maybe I was wrong. Another thought occurred to me as I thought back to the tree thing.

"You know what, Edward." I said suddenly after a moment of silence. "You are my favorite leaf on my tree!"

At first he just gave me this strange look but then he chuckled at me. "Ok Bella, you _have _to explain that one to me!" Edward said as he continued to laugh and it was musical to me, I always enjoyed listening to Edward laughing with me because he was my very best friend; _Alice can't find out or she might kill me_.

I ended up explaining my new thought process about the things on the tree that can represent other things and important people in our lives and that leaves were our friends. Edward was defiantly my favorite leaf because he was always there for me. He understands me better than anyone else I know and he had always been protective of me, always watching out for me. Like this for example, _Edward hates when I go off on my own_. One time when we were younger, I went for a walk and ended up five blocks away from home and no idea how I got there or even how to get home. I was crying when he rode his bike past and found me. Edward had always said he was just out riding around and happened across me but from the relief I remember seeing on his face when he saw me, he had to have been _looking _for me. I loved that side of him. Of course there was also the side of him that loved to pick on me and tease me _but I guess since he didn't allow anyone else at school to get away with it _then it was ok. I could handle Edward because I knew he would never really say or do anything to hurt me.

"So …" Edward started hesitantly after I finished explaining to him about the trees and stuff. "If I'm a leaf what does that make Mike? You know, your boyfriend and all. Is he a fruit or a bug?"

"EWW! Edward that is gross!" I practically shrieked at him and through a hand full of grass at his face. "Mike is NOT my boyfriend or even my friend really. Mike is more like my stalker so that would probably put him as a flower."

He thought about that for a moment. "Huh, I think I really like that much better." Edward's grin was from ear to ear. "Hey Bella, can I go to school tomorrow and call Mike a flower all day?"

"Edward!" I huffed and then sighed with a chuckle, he never gave up and for some strange reason that Newton kid really bugged him.

"Well in any case, its getting late." Edward said after his laughter died down enough to talk normally again. "Can I walk you home now or do I need to pick you up and carry you home?"

"You wouldn't dare." I said but quickly changed my mind as I saw the look he was giving me, _he would dare _and I would not be happy about it either. "Ok, ok, ok. I guess we can walk home."

"That's what I though." Edward chuckled softly before standing up, dusting off his pants and turning back to offer a hand to help me to my feet, he was always around to help me out.

I hadn't realized _just _how far I had walked until Edward started leading me back home. He _was _right, I would have gotten lost if I had tried to walk myself home. I had no idea where we were going because as soon as I thought I knew, he would make a turn where I swear I came straight from. I don't know how he did it but somehow he managed to get us back to his place, _hours and hours later_. If I didn't know any better I'd say someone implanted a GPS thing inside of his brain or something. He never got lost, _anywhere_.

"Belly's back!" Emmett yelled while picking me up and swinging me around in the air, _I hadn't even made it inside yet_.

"Emmett!" I yelled as I struggled to get free but he was too strong. "Emmett Cullen, let me go! Put me down, please Emmett!"

"Take it easy with her, Emm." Edward insisted and then Emmett carried me the rest of the way into the house.

"Aww, I was only having a little fun." Emmett defended himself as he finally put me back on my feet, we were all now standing in the living room where Alice, Jasper and Rose were all waiting for us to come back.

"Took you all long enough." Rosalie commented as Emmett went to go sit beside her on the love seat.

"Oh come on, Rose. Its not like we had any plans or anything, Edward and Bella are entitled to a life." Jasper said from where he sat with Alice smiling like a fool on his lap.

"YEAH, we had nothing planned and Bella said she was going for a walk so of course, Edward would go looking for her." Alice chimed in with her pixie-perfect, hyper voice.

"Is there something you guys want to do now?" I asked nicely but inside I was hoping to go take a long nap or something.

"Oh no you don't." Edward said as he stood behind me. "You're going straight upstairs and taking a nap. You walked a very long way, twice today and need to rest now."

"But you walked just as much as I did." I said stubbornly even though I really did want to go take a nap, I didn't want him to think I would just because he was telling me to.

"Aww, but I wanted to play with my little sister!" Emmett whined in the middle of Edward and I talking.

"HEY! What does that make me then?" Alice asked and then pouted on Jasper's lap, with a huff she crossed her arms.

Jasper chuckled softly and kissed her cheek. "Adorable, my Love. That apparently makes you very adorable!"

I love them all to death but as they all got comfortable and cuddly with each other, I grew more and more tired. I couldn't stand it much longer, _considering that's why I left in the first place_. I stood there in the door way, watching them all kiss and talk just like they always did and I wondered why it never bugged me this much before. I mean, the stuff they do never used to bug me this much but for some reason, today it really bothered me.

"Ok, well I think I may need that nap now." I said and as soon as I did, Edward started pushing me towards the stairs. "Ok, ok. I'm going, Edward. … Good night everyone!"

"_**Night Bella**_!" Everyone down stairs yelled up.

"Ok, Edward you can stop pushing me now." I said when we reached the top of the stairs and was about to turn towards the spare bedroom but something pulled my arm back and spun me.

"Where do you think _you're _going?" Edward asked as he pulled me into him, he looked very confused.

"I'm going to go take a nap?" I was also confused because he was the first one to say that I needed to go sleep, _wasn't he_?

"Yeah, but you're going the wrong way." Edward said as he lead me down the hall and towards his room. "You know my bed is much softer and besides the spare bed is flooded with water."

"How on Earth did that happen?" I asked a little shocked.

"Emmett." He answered simply with a shrug. "He was trying some kind of experiment or something, anyway, come on."

Edward lead me all the way to his room and through the door. This wasn't the first time I'd been in his room but it was the first time he lead me straight to his bed. Edward gently pushed me down on the bed, _once we were close enough_, and started to cover me with his blankets. I wasn't sure why he was trying to tuck me in like I was a little child but at the same time, _Edward did some strange things_. Once I was perfectly tucked into the covers and feeling very comfortable, _he was right it was softer_, Edward sat on the edge of his bed facing me. I wasn't sure what he was doing and at first I thought he was going to ask me something but he didn't. He was just sitting there, softly smiling down at me. It was slightly weird but at the same time, I couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Ok, what's up Edward?" I asked after another minute of him just sitting there, smiling at me like that.

"What?" He asked softly. "Nothing is up, you should try sleeping though. You had a long day today."

"How can I sleep with you just sitting there, watching me with that smile?" I asked as I tried to sit up but he pushed me back down.

"I'm bothering you." Edward stated with a small frown. "I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone so you can sleep then." He tried to get up off the bed but I grabbed his arm before he could get too far.

"I never said that!" I said as I pulled him back down next to me. "Its just a little odd. What are you doing just sitting here, watching me like that? It makes me think you want to talk or something."

"I just wanted to watch over you." Edward said as he sat back down. "The last time you were here you didn't sleep very well."

"Well its not like I can sleep if you sit there, watching me." I said and then started blushing. "At least lay down with me if you're going to stay here. Besides, you need to sleep as well."

"Ok." He answered back and then laid down beside me under the covers and he turned on his side to face me. "Better?"

"Much." I answered back but my blush wouldn't go away, he was very, very close to me and I had never slept next to anyway before; _of course, other than my parents_.

Even when Alice, Rose and I would have sleepovers we all got our own beds. Both of them had plenty of room for it in their houses and when we all came to my house we slept in the living room. Our living room had two big couches and my dad's reclining chair. It wasn't much but it worked because it was very rare that we all stayed at my place. Mostly we all just came to Alice's. I hadn't realized how long my mind had gotten off track until I felt Edward shifting beside me and somehow his right arm ended up wrapped around me. In his sleep Edward had pulled me closer to him and was sleeping so soundly that I was afraid to try and move because I didn't want to wake him. Edward was my very best friend and he rarely looked like he ever got enough sleep, _look who's talking right_? Well his sleep matters more to me than my own. After some time of just laying here, watching him dream peacefully I ended up falling asleep and it wasn't just a numb darkness, it was peaceful.


	2. Ch2 Best Friend

Ch2 Best friend

Edward's POV.

I wasn't sure how long I had been sleeping but now I was just laying here with my eyes closed, trying my hardest to wake up enough to open them; because it was clear I was sleeping anymore. I was still in a state of half sleepiness and half something else. As I was slowly coming around I noticed I was holding something, it was warm and soft, very soft. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my lips when it dawned on me that I was still in bed, with Bella laying in my arms. My eyes instantly opened then and I saw that she was in a deep, peaceful sleep; my smile grew even bigger. Bella never really got enough sleep it seemed and I know I was the same but I always worried about her more than myself. She has always been my very best friend and I cared a lot about her. Sometimes I often wondered if I cared a little too much for her but I never really think about that too much because I don't want to know the answer. … If I did like her that way, then are friendship would be ruined for sure and I couldn't have that but at the same time if it turned out that I didn't feel that way, then I was start to question my self as to why I don't. Either way, it wouldn't be a good idea to dwell on the subject so I just don't think about it.

"Mhh" Bella softly mumbled in her sleep.

She was very beautiful and when she was sleeping like this, she was even more stunning. But of course, she would never agree if anyone told her so. Bella has always had a flawed view of herself and that sometimes worries me because I think its what keeps her from finding someone to date. I know I've turned down many girls that have asked me out in the past but I always had a good reason. None of them seemed special to me, if I'm going to date anyone she has to be special. She has to mean something to me and more than just someone that's in my class or something. I want to date someone that makes me smile the second I see them. Maybe that's just too much to ask for but its how I feel and I'm not changing now. I can be happy being single if that's my only option. I don't need a girl in my life to make me happy, I have my family and my friends … and I have Bella. She's always around for me and I'm always there for her. I don't know what I'd do without her!

"Hmm." She mumbled again and shifted a little in my arms, bringing herself closer to me in the process; I smiled.

When Bella and I were little kids she used to come have sleepovers with Alice and Rose all the time. She would also have nightmares all the time and would wake up in the middle of the night, crying. The first night that happened I heard her and rushed into the room to find out what had happened. I was so tired that night but instantly wake up when I saw the tears in her eyes. As soon as I was in the room and she saw me, Bella run into my arms and clung to me as tight as he little arms could. She tried to calm down enough to tell me about her dream but she was too frightened so I picked her up and carried her back to bed and sat with her until she was calm. After all that I finally found out she had just had a nightmare and that she always had them from time to time. Even as a kid I didn't like that much and I sat with her that night until she fell back asleep. From that night on, anytime she came over I made sure she was sleeping well before I went off to bed. Even though Bella still had nightmares and I'd go in to comfort her, we never really slept in the same bed like this before tonight. I hadn't thought about that when I laid down with her last night but as I watched her sleeping now, I thought about it. Had I pushed the boundaries of our friendship a little too far? She didn't say anything about it last night but was that because she was just too tired or maybe she hadn't thought about it yet, either. I didn't want things to get awkward between us but I also didn't want to try and move because I was certain I would wake her if I tried.

Bella started to stir in my arms a little more. "Hmm, Morning." She whisper groggily and barely opened her eyes.

"Good morning to you to, Bella." I said with a smile and it grew when I watched her try to smile back in her sleepy state.

"What time is it?" She asked as her eyes fluttered a little in her further attempt to wake herself up.

"Umm, you know … I'm not really sure." I said as I tried to turn my head to see the clock by my bed. "Wow its almost Noon."

That woke up her quickly, she sat straight up and out of my arms before turning back to look down at me in horror. "Are you kidding me? … Its almost NOON?" Bella said in a panic.

"Yeah, what about it?" I asked as my own panic began to rise, what was wrong with the time? "Bella, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

"NO, No I'm not ok." Bella said still not calming down. "If its almost noon then I'm going to DIE!"

I sat up instantly and my eyes were now wide open. "Bella what on Earth are you talking about? Please calm down and talk to me?" My panic was quickly increasing and I needed to know why.

"No, you don't understand." Bella insisted. "ALICE is going to KILL ME! She told me last night that if I missed our shopping session this morning that she's take me on a shopping vacation, A WHOLE WEEK of nothing but shopping and boy talk!" Bella finally explained and I instantly sat back and burst into laughter. "_EDWARD CULLEN _THIS IS **NOT **FUNNY! I'm gonna die!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. … I, I … I'm sorry." I tried to say through my laughter and then she slapped me with my own pillow. "I'm sorry Bella, honestly but you had me scared half to death!"

"You should be scared, I'M SCARED!" Bella said still looking panicked. "She's going to kill me Edward!"

"Come on Bella, you know she would never really do that to you." I said but when she gave me a certain look, I had to rephrase. "Ok, maybe she _would _but you know, I'd never allow her to do it!"

Her eyes instantly light up and she smiled as she through her arms around me. "OH MY HERO, EDWARD!" Bella cried as we both fell back onto the bed, I started laughing again. "OH! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Edward, I didn't mean for that to happen."

"Its okay Bella." I said with a chuckle, she was always such a klutz and I wasn't prepared for that attack like I normally am. "Besides, I think that shopping trip got canceled on account that the '_Love _birds' had a double date planned out for this evening and you know the girls will be spending all day getting ready for that. I'm pretty sure you were off the hook anyway."

"Oh, … They did?" Bella said as she tried to roll off of me but I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me instead.

"Yeah, they did." I answered back. "You were sitting in the room when they made the plans last night Bella, weren't you listening?"

"I guess not." She said simply and tried to get up again, I was refusing to let her go so she gave me a strange look. "Edward, what are you doing? Let me get up, I'm probably crushing you!"

"Bella you couldn't possible crush me, even if you were standing on me." I teased with a simple smirk. "Besides, I'm quite comfortable right now and I don't feel like moving so you're just going to have to get used to being stuck in my arms."

"Edward, that's not funny." Bella said as she struggled but it was useless, I was much stronger than she was and I wasn't even trying all that hard, in fact I wasn't trying to hold her at all.

"Nope, you're not going anywhere!" I said with another chuckle, this little game was becoming very fun for me.

"Well fine." Bella huffed after a few more struggles. "If your not going to let me go, I guess I'll just go back to sleep then." She said and laid her head down on my chest and closed her eyes, she looked so adorable when she huffed and pouted like that.

"Alright then, Sleeping Beauty." I said jokingly but then I realized that the nickname fit her very nicely; _She was a sleeping beauty_!

For a while we just laid there and I was waiting for her to try and get up again, only to find that she had fallen back to sleep. I couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped me and I froze, making sure that I hadn't woken her with my movements. I didn't and so I smiled, she was just too cute sometimes. Bella one of my favorite people that I knew and that thought made me remember what we talked about yesterday. About how I was her favorite leaf! Bella was most definitely my favorite leaf as well. Also I though her whole idea and thought process for this was very unique. I have always loved the way her mind worked sometimes but this was just wonderful. Using trees and things that go with trees to understand the elements of love and relationships in one's life. I personally would have never thought about things in that way but after hearing her explain it to me, it made a lot of sense. I just hoped that someday, Bella would find a fruit that was worth meeting and maybe that would lead to a bug she could be happy with. I want nothing more than for Bella to find happiness and start a branch of her very own. I just really hope she doesn't find any rotten fruit because then me and my brothers, Jasper included there, would have to go and take out the trash. Trash, … like that annoying and stupid Mike Newton. He has always been after Bella, following her around like a little lost puppy. I never thought anyone could make the idea of something like a lost puppy seem so annoying and disturbing, but Mike could! That kid just rubs me the wrong way, and bugs the piss out of me. I just don't understand why Bella doesn't tell him to leaver her alone or something. But yeah, I guess I do know; its because Bella is too nice of a person to hurt poor Mike's feelings like that. Well, boo hoo for Mike. Ok, so maybe I'm a little mean to the guy but I can't really say why. For some reason, from the moment I first saw him I've hated Mike.

"EDWARD!" I suddenly heard someone yelling from down stairs and I instantly froze again, thinking Bella would wake.

Soon after a very energized Emmett came storming into the room, luckily for him even though he was huge, he moved rather quietly. As soon as he got into the room I got his attention to tell him to shut up. When he saw Bella sleeping he froze mid-step and then very theatrically tip-toed his way over to me. Emmett always did things over the top like that, mostly for a good laugh but sometimes I think he really is that dumb. When he finally made his way close enough, Emmett crouched down so he could whisper to me without waking Bella with his monstrous voice.

"Dude, she's sleeping on you?" Emmett said shocked.

"Thank you captain obvious, now was there something you needed or what Emmett?" I whispered back with sarcasm in my voice.

"Alice said to tell you and Bella that we won't be back until really, really late tonight and that you have the whole house alone." Emmett relayed the message that he was clearly made to memorize.

"Tell her thanks for the update." I said with more sarcasm. "Have a great time guys, and be quiet on your way out please."

"Thanks, I'm sure we will!" Emmett said as he stood and just before he walked out of the room he turned back to me, smiled brightly and wiggled his eye brows; then he was gone.

I slowly shook my head at his antics before turning my full attention back to the very knocked-out-cold, girl still fast asleep in my arms. Bella hadn't moved once with all the noise and movements around us. It if weren't for the fact that I could hear and feel her breathing and her heart beat, then I might have feared her to be dead or something, … _a very scary thought in deed_. I couldn't possibly imagine my life without my best friend but at the same time, someday she will have to leave me. One day, Bella will find someone she wants to be with and then our relationship will have to be totally different. Bella and I won't be able to spend nearly as much time together if she had a boyfriend. She'd want to spend all her time with _him_, hanging out with _him _at _his _place, taking long walks for no reason with _him_, talking into the late hours of the night about nothing with _him_, and possibly even falling asleep with _his _arms holding _**her **_close. What would I be doing then? I'll probably find something to do but its just hard to think about doing anything that doesn't have Bella somewhere in my plans. And then, what if I don't like the guy she likes? Or even, what if _he _doesn't like me because I'm her best friend? It would kill me if I lost her but it would kill me even more if it was my fault something bad happened between her and this guy. I suddenly found myself wishing that she didn't find anyone like that, that she didn't find some boy to date and leave me behind. But that would be very selfish of me and I then started reprimanding myself, for even thinking such thoughts. I know she would be happy so, _as her best friend_, I should be happy for her as well. But I wouldn't be.

Just then, Bella's hand curled tightly around my shirt and pulled me from my thoughts. "No, … hmm." Bella murmured in her sleep and then her grip loosened again.

"Shhh, Its alright Bella." I softly whispered to her as I gently rubbed her back and ran my fingers through her hair to calm her.

Of course, my actions had an instant calming effect on Bella; just as they always did. She relaxed and fell back into her peaceful sleep. Bella didn't seem to have as much trouble sleeping as long as I was around, close enough to relax her back to peace. She seemed so calm and serene that I didn't want to ever move her. I simply relaxed myself and held her close to me so I could settle in for another nap. It usually took me forever to finally force myself to fall to sleep but this day was different. I think its having Bella here with me, she made it easier to sleep. I just don't know why.

…

I was opening my eyes after a very peaceful sleep. It was nice for once, not to have to fight to get a decent amount of sleep. Or at least if felt like a decent amount. … As I stretched and yawned, I rolled over to see what time the clock said. About mid-turn I realized something that should have occurred to me sooner, Bella wasn't on top of me anymore. In fact, I didn't feel her weight pushing down on the bed at all. It was just me and for a second, I thought the whole thing might have been just a dream but I could smell her shampoo still left on my shirt? … I quickly got out of bed, forgot all about the clock and rushed out of the room. I was racing down the hall and taking the stairs as fast as I could, without killing myself. I wasn't really thinking about where I was going or why I was running around the house like a mad man, at least not until I run into the kitchen and found Bella eating a piece of toast. She hadn't noticed my panicked rushing into the room and her back was turned towards me as she eat, so she had no idea I was behind her. In fact, she seemed to be off in her own little world as she eat her toast and I didn't feel like bursting that bubble just yet. As soon as I saw her, I instantly calmed down and now I was leaning against the door frame. I was in total aw over this adorable creature and wondering why I panicked the way I had. I knew she had to be in the house somewhere, so why freak out that way? I didn't have time to wonder about that before Bella suddenly broke out into song, and I understood how she missed my panicked entrance. Bella was listening to music and her headphones must have been on the whole time. She couldn't hear or see me panic.

"_Have you ever been in love?He's my best friend best of all best friendsDo you have a best friend too?It tickles in my tummy he is so yummy, yummyHey you should get a best friend too_" Bella sang the song with all the cuteness I've come to expect from her and I couldn't help but stare in aw, she was so beautiful and her voice was pure magic.

It took me a minute to recognize the song itself, _well _I wasn't hearing all the crazy music in the back ground and only hearing Bella's voice for the vocals. I usually thought that song was annoying and cheesy at best but listening to Bella made me want to like this song just a little bit more. The lyrics were what really struck me though, _I mean after with Bella's voice_. I didn't want to think about falling in love with my best friend because I didn't want to deal with if things went bad. I wanted to run and hide in my room and pretend that I never got up but I couldn't do that because, of course, Bella started dancing and turned to see me; watching her from the door frame. She looked shocked and quickly froze when she noticed she wasn't alone anymore. She blushed about ten different shades of red and pink; I liked the colors on her. She also then ripped off her headphones and just stared in shock.

"Edward!" She finally breathed out. "Wha, wha, what are you doing up? I thought you were still sleeping and, and, umm. Wow what am I doing? …" She was rambling on until she looked away from me and just sprinted out the back door, or she tried to but ended up tripping over the floor; I rushed to catch her.

"Easy Bella, its ok. I got you." I said as I firmly wrapped her in my arms and lifted her back to her feet again.

She wasn't looking at me now and she was trying to struggle out of my arms, even before I'd lifted her back up. "Let go, I'm fine!" She yelled out before pushing her way our of my grasp.

I was now the one in shock, that was the first time Bella has every told me to let her go. It was also another first, the first time I had to watch as Bella ran away from me. She took off running out the kitchen door and back around the house, I lost sight of her when she run past the trees. I was too stunned at the time to focused on what was happening or I would have chased after her sooner. By the time I left the house Bella was nowhere in sight and she must have rushed off into the woods, not a very safe place for her. I was running as fast as I could and was still a little unfocused but I knew enough to know I just had to find her. Something was wrong and she was now, alone, in the woods and probably getting herself very lost. I have no idea what happened back there but I was determined to find out. She couldn't have just ran from me for now reason, could she? … Or what if I _WAS _the reason? I stopped running dead in my tracks when my mind thought that. What if I was the reason she run away? But why? I didn't do anything but walk into the kitchen, I woke up and she was gone so I went out, Ok, ran out in a panicked fit, to find her and when she saw me she was the one freaking out. What did I do that has upset her so bad? Last night, maybe. She could have had a problem with last night when we fell asleep together. But then why would she run away now? Maybe the problem is just me, she doesn't want to be around me anymore.

"BELLA!" I yelled into the empty woods and got nothing in return, I was slowly loosing my mind but worst of all; my best friend as well. "Bella come back! You'll get lost, please!"

It wasn't working, either she couldn't hear me anymore or she just wasn't listening. Bella has never run away from me before and I honestly didn't know how to handle it right now. I knew she needed some kind of help but what if she didn't want me to find her? _That thought caused a lot more pain than it should have_. I didn't know what to do anymore, I was feeling about as lost and Bella was actually getting. I didn't want to stop looking for her but I didn't know what I would do, if I found her only to have her run again. I stood by a tree and noticed the sun would be setting in just a few hours, Bella in the woods at night was defiantly not good. I reached for my cell phone in my pocket and started pushing buttons. Alice and Rose were going to kill me for ruining their double date tonight and Jasper and Emmett will surely kill me for upsetting Bella this way. I just didn't know what else to do.

"THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT EDWARD!" Alice instantly answered the phone and yelled at me.

I took a deep breath. "Bella ran away. I don't know what happened exactly but she took off into the woods and I can't find her. She may not want me to find her right now and its getting late!" I said in a rush and I heard Alice gasp right before she started yelling.

"YOU LOST BELLA?" Alice screamed into the phone and then I heard the others murmuring in the back ground, _no doubt planning my imminent death_; I know I was. "How could you loose Bella? Your fast then her so how on Earth did she loose you?"

"When she took off, I was shocked so she got a head start on me and was gone before I even stepped outside." I answered back. "Alice, look I need your help. Are you all coming or not? I'm really, really sorry about your date but Bella in in trouble!"

"NO Edward, if anything happens to her YOU'RE the one who will be in trouble!" Rose threatened me after stealing the phone from my sister. "We're on our way home!"

The line end dead after that and even though, they were going to kill me I was glad they were coming home now. I couldn't find Bella fast enough on my own and if she didn't want me to find her, then what would I do? I needed the other to help me. I just hoped that Bella was ok, safe and being careful in the woods.


	3. Ch3 The Woods

Ch3 The Woods

Bella's POV.

WHAT WAS I DOING? I was running through the woods, alone, and to top it all off; its now dark out! I have no idea where I'm going or ever where I am now. I have no idea why I freaked out so bad back there and now I'm probably completely lost. I don't want to stop running because I hate these woods at night, even more now that I'm alone. This was a horrible idea … well not really an idea because I didn't actually think about this. I just ran and ran and even though I heard him calling me, I still ran. I couldn't look back and I was already so far gone by the time I even heard him call that he sounds so far away and I probably wouldn't have been able to find my way back, even if I did turn around then. This was just one big mess and I blame, I blame, … huh, I don't know who or what I want to blame for this one? I stopped running to catch my breath and leaned against one of the trees, it was dark and kind of really cold out tonight. I couldn't really see more than a couple feet in front of me and even then, all I saw were shadows of trees and stuff. I hadn't realized just how out of breath I was, until I stopped and nearly fell down from. I must have been running really hard to feel this horrible right now. Why did I even run like that in the first place? … All that happened was Edward saw me singing in the kitchen, or maybe it was the shock of being snuck upon. Either way, it was a stupid reason to run away from him; something that I never do. I've never ran away from Edward, he was my best friend.

"Hello?" A voice called from behind me and I jumped. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you or anything."

I turned around to look at the person talking to me, I was still a little out of breath and leaning on the tree for support. I looked up to see a young man, he had really tanned skin and dark black hair. He seemed really tall or that could just be because I was bent over this way. He was very muscular and seemed well toned in almost every inch of himself. He was maybe a little older than me and he was staring down at me. He smiled and it was infectious, I started smiling back at him before I remembered we were way out in the middle of the woods and he could be some psycho killer person. He probably wasn't but you could never be too careful these days.

"My names Jacob, you seem a little lost?" He said in a questioning tone, like; _why else would I be out here_?

"B, Bella." I huffed out for him and tried to take a deep breath. "And Yes, I, I, am… lost."

"Ok, well take it easy. I live just around the bin here. If you want you can come in and rest." Jacob said with a chuckle. "We have a phone so you can call a friend or something."

"We?" I asked and in my head I pictured more mountain men who would really try and kill me but Jacob seemed to nice to allow that.

"Yeah, me and my dad live just a little over that way." Jacob answered and then moved closer and leaned on the tree next to me.

"Oh I see." My breathing was slowly starting to become normal again. "Well I think I could really use a phone right now. I was staying at my friends' house and I'm sure they must be worried by now. This is really nice of you Jacob."

"What were you doing all the way out here anyway?" Jacob asked the same question I've been asking myself.

"I honestly don't know." I said simply. "I just, my friend startled me in the kitchen and then I just couldn't stop running."

I usually didn't open up to people like this, but for some reason, Jacob just seemed like the type of person anyone could talk to. He was really nice even though he looked like he could be really dangerous. When my breathing was good enough so that I could walk, Jacob lead the way back to his place. It was kind of small but looked like it was very comfortable. It was one of those places that just felt like a home away from home, the moment you walk in. He told me that his dad was out fishing and probably wouldn't be back all day and that the phone was over on the table. I picked it up, then I froze because I had no idea who I was going to call.

I called Alice. "Hello, …" I said as soon as she answered but was cut off, right after that.

"BELLA! OH MY GOSH, WHERE ARE YOU?" Alice yelled into the phone. "Are you alright? What happened? Did Edward do something stupid or are you hurt? Bella talk to me!"

"Gee Alice, I would but someone won't take a breath long enough for me to talk." I said sarcastically. "I'm sorry Alice. I'm fine really, not sure exactly where I am but I'm not alone. No, it wasn't Edward's fault and I don't know what happened. I just ran."

"Bella, that is just ridiculous!" Alice said and I could picture her hands going to her hips in anger. "What did that stupid brother of mine do to you? People just don't run into the woods over nothing, so you better not be covering for him!"

"Alice, I told you. I don't know what happened. I saw him and then I just took off, I wasn't even sure where I was going." I answered her back, trying to calm her down now.

"Where are you?" Alice asked. "Rose and I will come and get you and then we can talk about what really happened."

"Umm, I told you Alice. I don't really know where I am." I said realizing how true that was. "HEY, Jacob? Can you tell me where I am? My friends need to know so they can come and get me!"

Jacob walked down the little hall and into the room. "Your down on the reservation and if you need a ride, I can take you home?" Jacob said with another smile.

"Bella, who are you talking to?" Alice asked.

"This guy, Jacob. He found me and brought me back to his house on the reservation so I could use the phone to call you." I answered back before regretting every word I just said.

"You what?" Alice shrieked on the other line. "Bella are you crazy! You don't just go home with complete strangers!"

"I know that Alice but he's really nice and he's just helping me." I explained. "He's even going to give me a ride home, so see you soon ok. Don't worry Alice, I'm be fine. Love you Bye!"

I hung up before she could yell at me any farther. I looked up to Jacob with a look of horror, she was going to kill me when I got home but at least I'll be home. Jacob smiled and shrugged his shoulders before tell me to follow him out to get the truck ready to go. It didn't take us too long to get out onto the roads and on our way back into the town I know. I was really starting to see just how far I had ran and I was wondering how I even survived? The ride how with Jacob was very quiet but we did talk a little. It was like we were really great friends, riding home from school or something. It was peaceful and just a nice change for once. Jacob was just one of those people that you made friends with as soon as you met them. He was very nice and he seemed to care a lot about the people and things around him. He told me that his dad was in a wheelchair and that it was just him and his dad in that house. Jacob had to do a lot to help his father and that he missed out on a lot because he was needed elsewhere. I also found out that he was in fact, younger than me by a year or so and just had a killer growth spurt. Plus, he worked out like crazy, working on cars and did a lot of other things to get as strong as he was. He looked good as well.

…

Edward's POV.

I can't believe I lost Bella! I've been looking for her every since she took off and I even called everyone back from their date to come help me find her. No such luck, we've been looking all afternoon and even late into the evening. The sky was now pitch black and it matched really well with the way I was feeling about myself. I felt horrible because what kind of friend would do this to another? Bella was happy and fine until I came into the kitchen. I just should have stayed in bed and never left my room, then she wouldn't be alone in the middle of the woods, somewhere. She's alone and probably frightened out of her mind and its all my fault. Alice and the others are so ready to kill me, its not even funny.

My cell started ringing and I wasted no time. "Bella?" I asked rush, not bothering to even look who it was.

"NO, you idiot. Its Alice." Alice chided. "But Bella did call me, she said she found a very _nice _stranger in the woods. He took her back to his place so she could call me. AND now, this _nice stranger_ is driving Bella back home to us." Alice sound really pissed and she was using a lot of acid in her voice. "If anything bad happens to her, Edward I will never forgive you!"

"I know Alice. I know." I answered dully as my mind was racing with thoughts of Bella, trapped by this guy and tortured; I'd rather she be lost in the woods than alone with someone strange guy.

I knew I wasn't too far off from one of the few main roads in and out of town so I raced over there, hoping I wasn't too late to watch as they drove past. I had no idea what I would going to do if I did see them driving by but at the moment I didn't care. I just had to make sure she was ok and I couldn't just go home and wait. I pasted the last of the trees and onto the road shortly after that and nearly got hit by a car. _I really need to calm down and focus a little more before I ended up getting killed or something_. Once my heart rate was back to normal, I found a huge rock that was perfect for sitting on by the side of the road. I wasn't sitting there very long before I saw another vehicle driving up the road, towards me. It was a really old, rusted out truck and as it came closer I saw Bella sitting in the front seat, next to this over grow teenager. By the time Bella noticed me standing on the side of the road they were just about a half a mile away and I saw her eyes widen. I instantly regretted my decision to wait for them here because she clearly didn't want to see me. I turned back towards the woods and was about to walk my sorry ass home but I heard Bella calling me.

"Edward, … Edward wait!" Bella called out the window of the truck and so I had to stop, they pulled up and she got out. "Edward, I'm so sorry! What are you doing way out here?"

"I was out looking for you, are you ok Bella?" I asked her.

"I'm so sorry. Edward please don't be mad at me." Bella said as she rushed over to me and through her arms around me. "I don't know what happened and I, well I guess I just freak out. I didn't mean to upset you or even the others. I really hope Alice isn't too mad at me for running away like that. I didn't mean to."

"Bella, Bella. Take a breath." I said as I wrapped her in my arms and gently patted her hair calmingly. "And no one is mad at you Bella, in fact, Alice will kill me before ever blaming you."

"Umm, Hey Bella?" I heard someone say very back behind Bella and I. "I can see you're in good hands now. You two want to ride the rest of the way back or did you want to walk again?" His tone made it clear he was teasing Bella, so this was the stranger.

"OH, Jake! … Edward, this is Jacob and he's the one that found me in the woods today." Bella said excitedly as she pulled back and away from my grasp, for the second time tonight.

"Yeah, Hi I'm Jacob Black." Jacob said as he held out his hand for me to shake, I did but inside I wasn't happy about it.

"Edward Cullen. Thanks for helping Bella." I answered back as we both released our hands. "I really am grateful for everything."

"Yeah, she seems really sweet. It would have been a shame for anything to have happened in those woods." Jacob replied.

"Uh, Edward we really should get back home before Alice throws a major fit." Bella said awkwardly before tucking my arm.

"Alright, I'm coming Bella." I said and we both turned to take the short cut home, just through the woods towards the South.

"You guys sure, you don't want a ride?" Jacob asked as Bella and I started to walk farther away from him, I wanted to say no.

"Thanks Jake but its really not much farther off and I wouldn't want to run your gas out anymore for just that much." Bella responded and I couldn't help but smile to myself.

"Can we still hang out tomorrow night?" He asked her and I stopped in my tracks, Bella turned to look back at him.

"Yeah, what time did you want me to come out?" She asked.

"Anytime will be fine. I'll be up early because of my dad and everything so the time doesn't matter to me." Jacob said, smiling.

"Ok, See you then Jake." Bella smiled back at him.

I think I may end up loosing my freak'n mind if we don't get out of here soon. I gently tucked on Bella's sleeve and we both started walking again. I was pleased even more to hear the door to the truck, open and close again just before it went driving off. We were walking through the trees now and a thought came to me then. Somehow, Jacob Black went from being a flower to a leaf in Bella's life in a matter of maybe an hour and a half. How could she possible meet someone, and instantly become their friend and trust them as much as she had tonight? Bella walked with him to his house, she was alone with him there and then she got in that truck with him. … Anything could have happened to her but she didn't even seem to consider that as a possibility. Bella was a very trusting person by nature but even this was going above and beyond unreasonable for her. But I guess the fact is, that _Jake_ is an ok guy. He did help her out of the woods and seemed very polite. I just don't like the guy and I mean, I _really _don't like him; like worse than I don't like Mike Newton and I hate him. It wasn't too long after that that the house came into view and Emmett was standing outside, waiting for us to finally show up.

"Where have you been?" Emmett said as he rushed to our sides, well … to Bella's side anyway. "Don't ever scare me like that sissy! Where is this guy you were supposedly with?"

"Emmett calm down. I'm fine." Bella reassured him. "And Jake is a really great guy. I think he will be a wonder friend."

"Great guys do not kidnap my little sisters?" Emmett said stubbornly, crossing his arms and huffing.

"Emmett, he didn't kidnap her." I answered while rolling my eyes at him and smiling down at Bella. "She's perfectly fine and he was just bringing her home.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, BOY?" Alice yelled as she came storming out of the house and straight into my face, of course she was blaming me; this was all my fault.

"I'm sorry Alice, I wanted to make sure Bella got home safely." I answered back honestly and simply.

"Yeah well, you are so stupid!" Alice said in her anger. "Do you have any idea what could have happened to her today?"

"Alice, please." Bella places a hand on her should. "This wasn't Edward's fault and he was only trying to help me."

"Don't lie for him." Alice demanding, still glaring at me. "We all know he did something stupid to upset you and that's why you ran away from him. We all know, we just don't know what?"

"Enough Alice, let me get Bella inside and resting before you jump down my throat." I said while pushing past her and Emmett, Bella followed right behind me. "Beside, I know how stupid I am. You don't need to keep saying it just for my benefit!"

"Edward?" Bella said sharply. "Stop that, you're not stupid and you didn't do anything wrong. All he did was walk into his own kitchen. That's all that happened! I saw him and then I just ran out the door as fast as I could. I don't know why, I just did!" By the end Bella was the one yelling and she shrieked before storming into the house and stomped the rest of the way up the stairs.

I didn't bother saying anything else and I didn't give anyone the chance to speak to me. I rushed upstairs and went straight to my room, I locked the door and pressed the play button on my CD player. When it was finally load enough so that I couldn't hear myself think anymore, I crashed into my bed. The pillow beside my head still had a faint scent of the strawberry shampoo Bella used. _Why did I notice that?_ I'm not sure why and at this point I really couldn't be too bother to care. I just wanted to sleep and never wake up again. Or maybe, at the very least I could black out for about a month or so. But one thing was for sure, I was never going to hear the end of this one. And there was no way in hell, I was going to survive knowing that Bella is going to be hanging out with Jacob Black tomorrow. The whole time I'll be completely worried about her and wondering what he's doing with her. I know its none of my business and she's allow to be with who ever she wants but I already know this is going to kill me. Is this what its like then? That feeling you get when you finally realize you're loosing you very best friend, when everything around you just comes crashing down around you. _I don't like it much._ But as long as she's happy and safe then I'll be happy for her; somehow. It was getting really late, or really early but the way you look at it. I thought about going to sleep but then I heard a soft knock at my door, barely there because of my load music.

"Come on in Bella, the door is locked. Use your key if you can." I called out and before I finished she was walking towards me.


	4. Ch4 A New Friend

Ch4 A New Friend

Bella's POV.

I could hear the music from down the hall but as I rushed through the darkness I really didn't care. I knew he wanted to be alone when he had the music up so high but I needed to him. When we got back home, everyone was yelling at him and it wasn't fair. This wasn't Edward's fault this wasn't. Even Edward thought it was his fault but it was my fault and I felt horrible. I felt even worse for storming off the way I had but I ran to my, borrowed, room and throw myself onto the bed. Luckily they had replaced the soaking wet one already and so it was a dry bed that I had fallen into. _Emmett and his antics_. I wanted to scream and I wanted to cry but all I did was lay there until I fell asleep. It wasn't very peaceful though and when I woke up, I wanted to scream for a very different reason. I quickly rushed out of bed and without thinking, I started running down the hall. Towards Edward's room, even though his music was up probably as load as it could be. The door was locked and I even knocked but I had a key and was using it even before I heard him telling me that it was ok. He knew it was me anyway.

I walked over to his bed and stood there, looking down at him. "I'm so sorry Edward. I'm sorry about today and I'm sorry that I'm here now but I really need to talk to you!" I said in almost a whisper and then the tears, I was holding back, started to fall.

Edward instantly sat up and pulled me onto his lap. "Bella, Bella what is it? What's wrong Bella?" he asked anxiously.

I pulled my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. "I'm sorry Edward. I don't know what happened and, and … I don't want you to hate me. Please don't hate me? I, just …"

"Bella, stop that. Why would I hate you?" Edward said cutting me off. "Bella I could never hate you for any reason, what could possibly make you think that I would hate you?"

"Because, because I just had this dream and you left me and it was because you hated me. You said I wasn't a good enough friend and that you should waste you time with me." I told him about my horrible nightmare I just woke from and so I couldn't stop myself from crying even harder and holding him tighter. "Please don't leave me Edward. I need you and, and please just don't!"

"Bella." Edward's voice sounded like someone stole his breath away. "Bella I would never leave you, I could never hate you and no matter what any dream thinks; you are more important to me than anything else there is." He said finally said as he held me tighter to him and gently rubbed my back to calm me.

"Promise Edward?" I whispered sounding insanely pathetic.

"Of course, I promise Bella." Edward replied strongly. "I will never leave your side unless you ordered me away."

"That would never happen." I whispered and then we both sat there in almost silence, the only sound being me as I tried to calm myself and Edward whispering little nothings to keep me calm.

After a while of just sitting on Edward's lap, in the position I was in, I slowly started to feel very tired and my eyes were getting heavy. My crying had long since stopped and Edward just held me and even though his music was still load enough to hear from outside, it was peaceful in the room. I was starting to feel very sleepy and Edward must have noticed because he stood up very carefully with me in his arms and started walking towards the door.

"Don't worry, I'll take you back to bed." Edward whispered in my ear but before he reached the door I woke up a little.

"Edward, please don't. I don't want to be alone right now." I whispered and squeezed myself to him, he froze and turned around; bringing us both back to his bed and laying me down.

"Then will you at least sleep here?" He asked as he pulled the covers up and around me.

I started to nod yes and my eyes slowly fell closed. I didn't want to take his bed from him again, I didn't want to take him time when all he wanted was to be alone, but I knew I'd never get any sleep without him being close to me. I needed to know he wasn't going to go anywhere, I needed to know he was still hear if I woke up again after another dream. I hate having nightmares but I did have them and Edward was the only one that could calm me down after waking from a bad dream, this was the worst I've had in a while.

"Sleep now, Bella" Edward's musical voice sang softly as I drifted off to sleep, it was the last thing I heard and the last thing I felt before I was completely gone was his hand gently brushing my cheek; I was sure to sleep peacefully now.

…

Edward's POV.

Tonight had been a total disaster and then Bella came in, crying. I thought I was going to die. I mean, I've seen her cry over the years, a few times anyway but this time just about broke me. In that first instant when I saw her eyes watering, I didn't know what to think. I heard her saying something as she walked in but the music was too high to hear her whispers. By the time I was sitting up and watching her tears fall, I had pulled her down onto my lap and she held me tight telling me not to hate her. _As if that were even possible for me to do_? Bella is and has always been my best friend and I need her just as much as she needs me. There was no way I could ever hate her, even if she left me or wanted me to leave her; I would never hate her for that. … As long as she was happy. She didn't want to be alone but she was too tired to stay up so I put her to sleep in my bed. I laid down next to her and watched as she drifted off. Watching Bella crying like that, begging me to stay with her and then watching as she fell asleep, I realized something very important. … Whether I wanted to or not; _whether I meant to or not_, I had somehow fallen in love with Bella. My best friend. And I guess, on some level, I've always been; I just never allowed myself to see that I felt this way about her. She's always been my Bella but now I realize just how much that means to me. _Of course_, I also realize that she's _not _**MY **Bella, she isn't with me. And tomorrow she will be hanging out with Jacob all day. I didn't want her to go but that is me just being selfish and I would never let her see just how much I didn't want her to go. She likes Jacob Black.

…

I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep myself or even what time it was now but I was slowly starting to come to when I noticed Bella still sleeping soundly by my side. She was so beautiful and looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake her up. I turned my head carefully so I could see the clock without rolling over and read that it was almost 11:30am. She would want to leave the house before noon so I should wake her and let her get ready to go. I didn't want to wake her and I didn't want her to go but as her friend I had to. I gently turned towards her and rocked her shoulders, slightly.

"Bella, … Bella wake up." I whispered in her ear.

"What?" Bella asked groggily and rolled into me.

I chuckled softly. "Bella, I thought you wanted to hang out with your new friend today? Its almost noon." I answered her.

That got her eyes open, she instantly looked up at me and her eyes were wide. I guess we should have set an alarm for her or something. She clearly didn't want to be late. I didn't show on my face how much I wish she would have stayed asleep for just a little bit longer. Instead I smiled down at her and helped her out of bed.

"I completely forgot. Jake's going to kill me!" Bella said as she fished a fresh pair of cloths out of my closet, Alice taking up the space from the spare bedroom so Bella shared my when she was staying the night here. "Oh men, what am I going to do."

"What's wrong? I'm sure he'll understand if you're a little late Bella. Beside, he said any time you wanted to come." I said trying to calm her as I remembered from last night.

"Yeah but, …" Bella stopped and just stood by my bathroom door, looking back at me. "Never mind, its nothing I guess."

"No, tell me." I insisted. "What's wrong Bella?"

"Its nothing. …" Bella hesitated. "I'm just not sure how fun I'll be after the dream I had. I was pretty shaken up last night and I don't want Jake to think I'm not having a good time."

"I'm sure you'll be fine." I told her and she smiled at me. "You seem much better today already so just go have fun."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Thanks Edward." She said just before she rushed into the bathroom to get dressed, my smile fell instantly and I wanted nothing more than to crawl back in bed and disappear from the rest of the world.

Bella came back out just as I was about to lay down. "Ok, how do I look? Too plain? … Hey, Edward do you want to come with me today? I'm sure Jake won't mind another person since a few of his friends will be joining us as well." Bella rambled on as she finished finding her things from around the room.

When I saw Bella my eyes widened. She walked out in a simple outfit, make for comfort and all day use but she looked rather stunning all the same. Simple blue jeans and a very tight and very perfect blue shirt. The color looked stunning on her and it took me a moment to catch up to the fact that she was talking to me now.

"Oh umm, yeah. You look great Bella." I said still a little stunned.

"And? … What about my other question?" Bella asked as she came to stand in front of me with her hands on her hips, waiting.

"Umm, I'm sorry. What did you ask me?" I had to ask her, she simple giggled and sat down next to me to put her shoes on.

"Do you want to come with me today." Bella asked me again and I frowned. "Jake has a few friends coming with him."

"I don't know Bella. …" I said hesitantly, I didn't want her to go or for her to go alone but it might be a bad idea if I went; I don't want to go and ruin everything with Jacob if I can't control myself.

Her smile fell as well. "You don't like Jacob?" Bella asked as she put her last shoe on and looked up at me.

"No, … I mean, I'm sure he's nice and all." I said and Bella frowned even more, _this wasn't helping_. "I don't know. I just … Its nothing. If you want me to come, I will."

"Really?" Bella asked getting excited again.

"Yes, really. If you want me to." I answered back and I couldn't help the smile that came after seeing her so happy about this.

Bella gave me a hug and rushed down stairs to let the others know we'd be leaving soon and to let me get dressed. It didn't take me very long to get ready and I heard Bella yell up that she was going to step outside to wait. It must be one of our rare sunny days, she loves days like this; Bella loves the sun. I honestly didn't want to go today but how could I refuse when Bella seemed to want me there so badly. I never wanted to disappoint her but what if I go and ruin everything? Now that I know I'm in love with her, its going to make things a lot worse on me. Bella clearly doesn't feel the same about me, to her we are just friends. Great friends but still just friends and that's great but its also heartbreaking. Just friends means she could find someone else to be with, someone that isn't me; someone like Jacob Black and there's nothing I can do about that. I can't tell her how I feel because I know it won't change anything … or at least not in a good way, anyway.

"Are you ready to go?" Bella asked as I walked outside. "Do you want to drive or can we actually follow the law today?"

I smiled at her teasing. "I'm driving and you can just close your eyes if it worries you that much." I said teasing her back.

She was laughing as she got into the passenger side of my car and it was beautiful. Bella's voice had always been one of my favorite sounds in the world only topped by her laughter. I've always loved things about Bella but I never allowed myself to make the connection to the fact that I was in love with her. Not until last night that is, holding Bella like that left me with no other choice but to see how strongly I felt for her. She was perfect to me. I was driving down the road and Bella was telling me where to go, she said he lived some where down on the reservation. Bella had ran all the way out here yesterday and nearly to his place. That was much farther than Bella had ever gone before and when we arrived at Jacob's, I was starting to wonder how she had survived running like that. It didn't seem possible, not for Bella anyway.

Jacob came out as soon as I pulled up. "Hey Bella. Glad to see you've made it up!" he said as she got out of the car. "Edward."

I nodded my hello from across the car and took a look around. It was a nice little house in the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by woods on almost all sides and had a wheelchair ramp. I remember Bella saying something about it being for his dad. Jacob started walking back into the house. Bella and I quickly followed him inside being met by two other young boys.

"Guys, this is Bella and Edward." Jacob introduced us as we came into the room. "And that's Quil and Embry."

"Nice to meet you all." Bella said quietly, she seemed to be shy; which she normally was but she hadn't been with Jacob?"

"Pleasure." I said simple and nodded towards both of them.

"Yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you all." The short one said in a rush of excitement. "Where are we going today, Guys?"

"The same place we always hang out, Quil." Embry said sarcastically. "The beach and don't act so surprised."

Things were going good so far, we all drove down to the beach and walked down towards the water. Have the two other guys around made things seem a little less horrible, I mean its not like it was just Jacob and Bella … with me standing around awkwardly. That would have sucked but I would have done it for Bella. Having the others here made things seem more of a group hang out, we all talked and joked and even skipped rocks and stuff. It was an ok kind of day … at least until Quil and Embry went home. Bella and Jacob wanted to stay a little longer and watch the sun set. Of course, I wasn't going to say no; she loves watching the sun set.

"Its so beautiful." Bella said as we all sat around watching the fading lights change colors of the sky and the bright sun fall over the horizon. "Its not fair how rare good days like this are around here. It should be sunny more often."

"I agree. You can do more fun things when its sunny out but then again, you can't mud wrestle if it doesn't rain." Jacob said.

Bella laughed. "No, I guess not."

"The setting sun from the western horizon, looks at the world and ask; 'Who is there now to show the light' … The world is silent ~ like a still frame … From a far corner, a little lamp lights up and say; 'Sir, I'll do the best that I can.'" I said softly as I quoted something I found online one day, it seemed nice.

"That's pretty cool, dude." Jacob said as he started to stand and dusted the sand off of his pants.

"Yeah, it was very nice Edward." Bella agreed as she stood and dusted sand off as well, we were getting ready to leave.

"Thanks, I found it online once." I answered as we walked back up to where we had parked the cars.

Jacob was smiling a lot at Bella today and she was smiling a lot whenever he had smiled. I was happy that she was happy but it was also killing me inside. Nothing would please me more than to see Bella happily dating someone but at the same time it would kill me to have to watch someone else holding her attention that way. I never wanted to fall for her because I knew it would put a strain on our friendship and watching Jacob and Bella, as just friends hanging out was proving that to be very true. I didn't want it to be but I can't change how I feel about her now. I just have to learn to live with how I feel and understand that I'll never be with her. Bella is my best friend and I'll always be happy for her, no matter what happens and no matter who she decides to be with.

"Is something wrong Edward?" Bella asked as I was about to pull the car out of the parking place, she was staring at me.

"No, why would you ask Bella?" I said simple.

"You seem unhappy about something?" Bella answered looking slightly puzzled, she could read me so well sometimes.

"Guess I'm just tired." I shrugged and started driving us back home, then a thought crossed my mind. "Did you want to go home tonight or come back to our place? I almost forgot to ask because its like you practically live there with us."

She smiled and then giggled a little. "Yeah, I guess I do." Bella said happily. "Umm, I probably should go home and see my dad for the night. Alice wanted to kidnap me again next week anyway. Charlie probably thinks I've abandoned him."

"Ok, sure thing Bella." I said and started taking her back to her place, she didn't live very far so it was a short trip.

She got out of the car and turned back to me. "Thanks Edward. I had a really great time today and I'm really glad you came. I'm sure Jake will get along well with everyone!" Bella said just before she turned and rushed into the house.

Get along with everyone. … Jacob would be spending a lot of time with us, that much was clear. Bella made a new friend and as such we all made a new friend. He seemed nice enough and I'm sure he would get along well with the others but I don't think I have it in me to ever truly like the kid. I'll never allow myself to show how I really feel about him but I can't change that either. Mostly because its not his fault I don't like him, a week ago he might have been fun to hang out with. Not now, not like this! I started to drive home and as soon as I got home, I rushed to my room. I didn't make it that far though, Emmett and Alice were waiting for me.

"SO, what happened?" Alice asked in her hyper mood.

"Yeah, what is this guy like?" Emmett asked smiling.

"I want to go to bed now." I said but Alice pulled my arm back.

"Not till you explain. … What's wrong Edward." Her happy hyper tone dropped about ten notches, she was all business now.

"Nothing, he's nice. Bella's happy. Can I go now?" I said sharply.

Alice gasped. "OH Edward! … I'm so sorry!" Alice said sympathetically and I raised an eye brow at her. "You know now, don't you? … And then spent all day with the two of them."

That was a shocker for the night. Alice knew? _How _did she know!


	5. Ch5 Game Night

Ch5 Game Night

Bella's POV.

When I finally got home, Charlie had already gone to bed because he probably had to work the next day and didn't know I was coming home. I didn't mind come home to an empty house though, it was nice; peaceful. Thinking back on my day, I barely remembered that stupid dream I had last night. Edward, leaving me like that … it was just too much for me to take and then I roped him into coming with me today because I was too afraid to let him out of my sight for the day. I know he said he wouldn't leave me but something about that dream had me pretty sure he would. Maybe I'm just over thinking it or maybe I'm just being silly but I need Edward in my life. He's my best friend and he has always been there when I needed him. I'd be lost without him! Literally. But still, hanging out with Edward and Jacob had been really fun. Meeting Quil and Embry was nice but I couldn't warm up to them as quickly as I had with Jacob. There was just something about him that made it so easy to get along with him. Of course, I'm not so sure that Edward had agreed with me. I think he had a problem with something tonight; I just have no idea what it was. I really hope that things went well between Edward and Jacob because if Edward doesn't like him then what will the others think? … I guess that could be worried about on a different day, for now its time to rest and try to sleep. Alice was kidnapping me again soon.

…

The next morning, I made sure I woke up in time to make breakfast for Charlie. He was surprised to see me home and thrilled that I had cooked. Apparently, he just went out and picked up a doughnut or two when I wasn't home to cook for him. I think its best he stays out of the kitchen, though; last time he almost burnt the place down. Nope, I'd rather him not cook anything unless I'm around and watching. He could learn a few thinks to help him survive when I'm not around but … why risk my kitchen? Anyway, after sending him all to work I went back up to my room to back for Alice's little kidnapping habit. Not, that bring my own clothes would stop her from picking out my outfits everyday or anything.

"Well, if you insist on packing can you at least choose better things?" Alice complained again from her spot on my bed.

"I'm sorry my taste isn't good enough for you, Alice." I said dully but I was really getting tired of these complaints.

"Its alright, Sis." Alice said happily. "You'll learn good taste soon enough or I'll just have to keep teaching you."

"Alice, What are you doing here so early anyway?" I asked as I sat down next to her on my bed, it was well before the time she said.

"Well, … I wanted to talk to you about, umm something." Alice said a little hesitantly and I instantly froze.

"What?" I asked and just stared at her, waiting to know what torture she would ask to perform on me today.

"Ok, Well first answer me this." Alice said suddenly. "How do you feel about this Jacob Black guy?"

"ALICE? … I just met the guy and you want to play match maker already?" I said in a rush and slightly winning tone.

"NO, I just need to know before I keep talking." Alice explained with her hands now on her hips. "Its not what you think so just answer my question. Do you like Jacob or not?"

"Sure, Jake is a nice guy and he's fun to be around but I don't think I'd consider dating him just yet." I said honestly. "What does that answer have to do with, whatever it is that you really want to talk to me about? Why do you want to know how I feel about him?"

"Well, how do you feel about Edward?" Alice asked.

I froze even more than before. Alice did NOT just ask me that! That's not possible. … Why would she even bother asking me that, she knows Edward and I are best friends. She knows we've always been best friends and that I of course, care a lot about him. What does that even have to do with Jake anyway? Does she think that Jacob is going to replace Edward as my best friend? … That's absolutely impossible and just plain ridiculous to think about.

"Bella? … Bella, Hey Bella?" Alice was calling and waving her hands in front of my face now, trying to get my attention back.

"Umm, sorry Alice." I muttered in a daze, still stunned. "You know I care about Edward so what does this have to do with Jacob?"

"Well, nothing really." Alice said off handedly as she got up to pick through my closet again. "Just thought I'd ask, that's all."

"Alice, … what are you up to now?" I demanded as I could see the wheels turning in that master plan brain of hers.

"Nothing." Alice said faking surprise. "I'm just asking. … Ok, ok. Don't bite my head off alright."

I smiled as she clearly understood what my glare had meant. "Ok so what are you planning anyway?" I asked. "And what does it have to do with me and the both of them? Alice what's up?"

"I just wanted to know if … well, you know." Alice said stalling herself. "If you were crushing on anyway right now? I mean, I AM your best friend … right? So of course, you would tell me if you were. You know, crushing on someone."

My mouth dropped wide open and I was thankful she had turned her attention back to the closet. What was Alice talking about? I don't have a crush on anyone, I just met Jacob like a day ago and yeah he's becoming a really good friend but not crush close. AND Edward, … Edward has been my best friend for like, forever! I can't possible have a crush on him. I mean I like him, a lot and he's one of the only people I know I can't live without but that doesn't mean I have a crush on him. … _Does it_? No, of course not. Because I can't. He's Edward after all, my best friend.

"Bella? … BELLA?" Alice said looking straight at me now. "Hello, Bella. Are you in there somewhere?"

"Alice that's ridiculous. Of course, I don't have a crush on anyone. I just met Jake and Edward is your brother and one of my best friends. Besides, you know I don't really crush on anyone, ever." I shook my head to clear it before finally answering her question.

"Oh. …" Alice said simply and frowned. "Ok, well are you ready to go then. We should get back before the guys think that we aren't going to show up after all."

Alice seemed really quiet and unlike herself the whole ride back to her place. We had packed my bags and left soon after our talk and that was the last word she said until we got back. It wasn't like Alice to _not _talk. It made me wonder what I had said that upset her so much or what she really wanted from me. It seemed like Alice was always up to something and she never liked it if her plans were ruined so I really hoped I didn't do anything to ruin any of her plans. I just wanted to get back to their house and go play video games with the guys all night. Alice and Rose were taking me on a shopping trip for the up coming dance … Maybe that's what Alice had up her sleeve? The dance is coming up soon and she hates the fact that I never want to go. She thinks its because I never have a date but I just don't like dances. The uncoordinated usually don't.

"What took you all sooooo long." Emmett complained as we both walked into the game room.

"Bella had a lot of nothing to go through before I found enough suitable things that she's never going to wear." Alice said with a little bit of her cheerful self back, as she jumped into Jasper's lap and kissed her cheek.

"Well, I'm sure glad to have you back." Jasper said and kissed her, Alice giggled. "I'm sure you and Rose can fix her wardrobe problem tomorrow anyway."

"Uhg, don't remind me." I complained as I sat next to Edward on the love seat. "Come on, didn't we come here to play?"

"I'm sure it won't be that bad." Edward leaned down and whispered to me then sat back up and looked around. "Besides you could always just fake being sick and stay home."

"Yeah, like Alice wouldn't take me even if I was in a coma or something." I whispered back and we both laughed.

"Probably." Edward agreed but then he stopped laughing, I saw a shiver run down his body and he slightly shook his head.

"What's wrong Edward?" I asked wondering what he thought about just now, that made him react that way.

"Its nothing." He said. "Come on, lets play."

"YES! GAME TIME!" Emmett boomed and rushed to set up the video game, throwing everyone a controller.

"Emmett, don't be so childish all the time." Rose said but everyone could see the smile on her lips.

"Love you to, Rose!" Emmett answered back as he sat down next to her and Jasper on the bigger couch.

We all played together for the rest of the night, it was pretty late by the time we finished and decided to go off to bed. We didn't even come anywhere near close to playing all the games they had either. The Cullen's had every game and game system known to man and they paid a company to send them all the newest shipments even before they go out to the stores. They had the best set up and their house was so big that their game room took up a whole floor of the house. They were very rich but other than them wasting money all the time, you'd never know. Unless they were buying something, the Cullen's never acted like a bunch of rich people and they always use what they buy so I guess its not really a waste if you have the money to buy the stuff. I just don't understand the point in spending a lot of money like that but then again, I hate it when anyone tries to spend money on me. They all try, all the time and I just complain until they put it back. But everyone is usually pretty good about listening to me, apart from Alice and Edward. They rarely every listen to me and they don't care how much I complain.

"REMATCH … tomorrow or something because its so late." Emmett demanded as he walked up the stairs.

"Whatever, Baby." Jasper joked as he went up to his pair room next to Emmett's bedroom.

"Come, on … I'm tired!" Alice complained and pushed everyone up the stairs. "I want my bed so move it!"

Some people thought it was weird that we all stayed over here so much but its not like any of us really slept together. We all had our own rooms in the house and the couples were very respectful of Esme's rules. They were all old enough to do whatever they wanted, and mostly they did just that, but they never did anything in her house. Yeah, there have been a few times when I fell asleep in Edward's bed but there was always a good reason and its not like anything was going to happen. We just fell asleep.

"Hey Bella, can I talk to you for just a minute." Edward asked still sitting on the small couch.

I was just about to walk out of the huge room when he called. "Yeah, sure thing Edward." I said and walked back to the couch.

"Hi, …" Edward said nervously as I sat back down beside him. "I, uh. I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Ok, what's up Edward?" I asked and looked up at him, he was looking at the floor; I'd never seen him so uncomfortable before.

"Bella. … I wanted to tell you that I …" He stopped mid sentence and took a deep breath, then sighed. "I wanted to say that … Well, you know we've been friends for a long time now and I just." Another long pause and another breath. "Bella, I'm sorry I just can't do this. Its late and I'm sorry for bothering you."

"No, its ok Edward. Just tell me what's on your mind." I insisted but he just shook his head and stood up from the couch.

"No really. Its nothing and you look really tired." Edward said and then smiled down at me before offering his hand to help me from the couch. "We both could use some sleep now."

I took his offered hand and we both walked out of the room together. I went off to my spare room while he rushed off to his bed room. The whole way up, I was thinking about whatever it was that Edward could have been trying to tell me. He seemed really nervous, like he couldn't figure out how to tell me whatever it was. Edward was always good at talking to people, about almost anything. I've never seem him this worked up over something before so it made me a little nervous that he didn't tell me what was wrong. Edward didn't usually keep things from anyone, much less from me and his family. It was hard to watch him struggle so hard just for him to decide not to tell me what was going on.

…

Edward's POV.

I rushed off to my room and fell face first on my bed. Then I just laid there … _face down in the pillow_. That was just the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life! I can't believe I could possible be this lame and, and … _stupid_! I mean, not only was I going to tell her and ruin everything but then I go and chicken out so I look like an even bigger loser! She probably thinks I've gone and lost my mind now, _just wonderful_. I sighed into the pillow and I could feel the heat from my breath on my face. It doesn't really matter anyway, she'd never want to be with me so what's the point? The other night, Alice tried talking me into telling her but today she told me not to. I never planned to tell her, ever but something snapped in me as I saw her walking off to bed. I just wanted her to know how I felt about her but I couldn't even do that. I called her back and then lost all control over my speaking and just ended up sounding like a big idiot. Which, I guess I am for falling for her. The dance is coming up soon and I usually go with Bella, as just friends because all six of us go together and hang out anyway but now, Bella might ask Jacob to go with her. Maybe I just won't go and save myself from all this drama. … Maybe I should just never leave this bed and save everyone some drama as well.

"Edward, … Are you sleeping?" Alice called from outside of my bedroom door.

"YES, go away Alice." I called back and she came in anyway.

"I know you talked to her Edward." Alice said with her arms crossed over her chest in front of my bed. "What happened? I told you not to talk to her about this anymore but you did, didn't you?"

"No, … I started to but I couldn't." I said into the pillow.

"Really?" Alice asked surprised, she sat down next to me and started patting my head. "I'm really sorry Edward."

"Go to bed, Alice." I said without moving. "I want to be alone right now and I know you're sorry, you've said that enough."

"Ok. … but you're still going to the dance so don't think that this will get you out from going." Alice said as she got up and started walking out of my room, I groined into my bed.

How did she do that? Seriously, there was no way for her to know that I was thinking about not going to the dance but yet, somehow _**she knew**_! Sometimes I think she was born a mind reader or something and just never told anyone. But its pointless to argue with her so I guess, I'm going to that dance whether I want to or not. Doesn't matter really, once Bella found out I wouldn't be going; she would be just as upset. … I could hear her now, '_If I have to go to this stupid death trap thing then so you do_!' She hates dances because she's afraid her lack of coordination is going to get her hurt or that maybe she'll hurt someone else there. She also thought that she was a horrible dancer but she wasn't … not with me anyway. Alice made Bella dance with me at every dance, she said it wouldn't be fun if she didn't dance. She said she always had fun as long as she only had to dance once and if it was with me because I'd never allow her to hurt anyone. Including herself. It seemed like I couldn't do or think about anything without it bring Bella to my mind. That's the way its always been for me; Bella, Bella, Bella and more Bella. Just because I know I love her now doesn't change the fact that I've always been in love with her. I just can't be with her because she doesn't like me like that. To her, we are just friends, best friends but still we will only be just friends. I wanting going to sleep well tonight, I was sure of that. I just laid there until somehow, I drifted off into a very non-peaceful sleep.


	6. Ch6 Morning Breakfast

Ch6 Morning Breakfast

Edward's POV.

"WAKE UP EDWARD!" Emmett's big booming voice called from somewhere by my door. "Get out of bed and down stairs NOW! Mom is cooking breakfast and if you want any…" He trailed off there and I could hear him storming down stairs.

I throw myself out of bed and practically crawled into the shower before rushing down stairs to get something to eat. Everyone was already down there and sitting around the huge table. Mom was in the kitchen and Dad was probably already gone off to work. Of course, the only seat that was left was the one between Bella and Alice. I usually sat there every morning and never once thought twice about it but today, I wasn't sure what I wanted. I sat down and my head instantly fell on my arms, which were folded on the table in front of me. I could feel people staring at me but I didn't care, I couldn't be bothered to lift my head and glare at them.

"Oh Edward, you poor dear." I heard my mother call as she walked up behind me and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Do you have a headache Son, I can take your plate up to you?"

"No, I'm fine thanks." I answered without moving. "I'm just tired and I didn't really sleep that great last night."

"Oh, you poor thing." Mom said again before walking off, to get the rest of the food I guess.

"You sure you're alright Bro?" Emmett asked with what sounded like a mouth full of food. "You looked awful!"

"Gee, thanks so much Emm." I said dully.

"What this big lug meant was that you look like it's a little more than just lack of sleep." Jasper explained.

"I'm fine. … Just leave me alone, please." I said a little sharply with my head still down, it was a little rude but I was too tired to care at the moment and too stressed to be bothered right now.

I felt Alice place her hand on my leg under that table and she then patted me to let me know she cared. She didn't want to let anyone know that she knew what was wrong but she was letting me know she was sorry for me, again. … Love her to death but just leave me alone right now! Then suddenly I heard Bella's chair push out and she was rushing away from the table. I looked up then and only then to watch her run out of the room. What was wrong with her? I looked around the table to see what had upset her but everyone looked just as confused as I was. I wasted no time in chasing after her, this time. She really wasn't that fast compared to me and since she didn't have that much of a head start, I found her easily. She had just rushed into the living room by the time I grabbed her arm.

"Slow down Bella." I said as I caught her and pulled her to stop.

"Edward … What are you doing?" Bella said as she tried to pull away from me, this time I wouldn't let her go.

"Where are you going Bella?" I asked as I pulled her closer. "Tell me what's wrong and then I might let you go."

"I don't know Edward." She choked out as she turned and buried her face into my chest, she was close to tears again.

"Bella, … Its ok. Calm down." I said as I wrapped her in my arms.

"NO, no its not Edward." Bella said into my shirt and her grip on my arms tightened. "Tell me what's wrong, please."

"What?" I asked surprised. "Bella that's what I'm asking you. Why did you run away from breakfast like that?"

"No, that not what I mean." Bella said while shaking her head into me. "I mean from last night. Please Edward just tell me."

"Oh, …that." I hesitated as I answered. "Bella, I told you it was nothing. I don't even know why I tried to say anything."

"Were you …" Bella started but cut herself off, hesitantly.

"What is it Bella?" I asked, I leaned down and lifted her chin so she had to look up at me now. "Just tell me what's going on."

"Do you not want to be friends anymore?" Bella asked and I watched in horror as the tears started streaming down her face.

"Bella? What are you talking about?" I asked stunned. Of course I'm still your friend, I want to be friends. What are you talking about, Bella. Why would you as me that." I was trying to wipe the tears from her eyes before more just kept falling.

"Last night, … you said. … and I thought that. … I'm sorry. I can't … Edward please don't." Bella stuttered and cried as she tried to talk to me but couldn't get the words out.

"Bella. Bella, its ok. Calm down." I said again and again but nothing was stopping her tears from falling. "Bella please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. You know I don't want to loose you!"

I pulled her into my arms and quickly moved us so she was sitting on my lap, cradle style, over on the couch in the living room. Bella had never cried this much in front of me without being able to tell me what made her cry. She was either hurt physically or some kid at school had called her stupid and in return hurt my hand knocking him out. Nobody called my Bella stupid, little punk. But never has she just cried and cried without me know why. It was unnerving to hold her like this and the not knowing was killing me.

"All you said last night was that we had been friends for a long time." Bella blurted out in between cries. "You have been distancing yourself from me these last few days, you didn't want to come hang out with me. You didn't even want to sit next to me this morning and you looked miserable when you had to. Edward, if you don't want to be around me, just say so please!" Bella said after a long semi-calming breath.

I didn't know what to say to that. "… Bella, I." I was stuck and mortified that I had made her feel that I didn't want to be around her, it's the only place that I ever wanted to be.

"Its ok." Bella said sadly as her breathing started calming down, the tears just flowed like a river though. "I understand that I'm not all that fun to be around and that you could probably be hanging out with anyone else. So why waste your time on me, in the first place? Why go through all this trouble when you didn't want to. Did you think I would just leave on my own?"

"Bella? … Don't be ridiculous." I finally said. "Bella I don't want to not be friends anymore, please stop saying that."

"Then what is it?" Bella demanded and her voice cracked.

"Bella, you are my very best friend. Please, don't ever think that I would want to be anywhere else than where you are." I said honestly, well as honestly as I was comfortable with.

"Do you have a girlfriend now? Does she not like me, is that why you've been trying to avoid me lately?" Bella asked after thinking about something for a minute.

I sighed and frowned down at her. "Bella, the only girl I've ever even considered dating, told my sister it wasn't going to happen."

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry." Bella said sincerely. "Is it because of me, then? She doesn't want to date you because you're too close to me? … I'm sorry Edward, tell me who is and I'll talk to her for you."

"NO, …" I said suddenly, panicky. "Uh, I mean, I can't. You can't talk to her for me. Besides being close to you is not a problem."

"Then why are you acting this way? Edward please just tell me what's going on so I can understand." Bella begged me.

"Bella, I don't think it will change anything." I said simply. "I wish I had never said anything the other night. This is a mess."

"But I could still tell that something was bothering you." Bella insisted. "I just knew it was really about me when you said that thing about us being friends and all."

A took a deep breath. "Maybe you're right." I said dully. "Maybe all of this would have been easier if we weren't friends but Bella I wouldn't want to loose your friendship for anything in the world. I would never want one without the other. I want you Bella, I always have and no matter what, I always will."

"What would be easier if we weren't friends?" Bella asked as I wiped another round of tears from her eyes as they fell. "Please just tell me what the problem is and we can fix it."

"Bella, you are my best friend and I love you." I said determined, and I was shocked to find that I had actually said it to her.

She waited, there was no change to her face. "Ok, Edward I love you as well because you're my best friend so tell me what the problem is. … I don't want to loose you either."

She didn't understand. … I can't believe I told her I love her and she didn't even understand that I meant it. Or maybe Alice was right, maybe she really doesn't feel the same way about me. I'm just wasting my time trying to tell her something and what is the point in telling her when it won't change anything? Why am I even trying so hard when I know there is no hope? I told her and it didn't even register to her just how much that meant to me.

"Edward? … Are you ok?" Bella asked. "Are you going to tell me what's going on or not. Please Edward I need to know."

"I'm sorry Bella." I said honestly as I shook my head to clear it again. "I've just been a little under the weather lately. I didn't mean to make you so upset, so worried. I don't want you to think that any of this is your fault. I wasn't trying to avoid you I just … I was struggling with what I was thinking about at the time. I'm sorry."

"Are you sure Edward?" Bella asked with a sniffle and I finally saw the tears stop falling from her eyes.

I pulled her tight into me and gently kissed the top of her head. "Yes, Bella. I'm sure that everything will be alright now." I wasn't sure how but I was determined to make things ok again.

"Ok Edward." She said and then laid her head against my chest and her eyes slowly drifted closed, she was falling asleep.

Bella often fell asleep around me in this way and it pained me to realize just how many times it happened just after her from crying. Bella always came to me when she needed something, when something was bothering her. I was glad to help her and that she trusted me be to the one that would help. I just couldn't stand the sight of her crying, I never could. Even when we were little and she was crying over something silly or if some other kid was picking on her, she came crying to me and the other guys. There was this one time that I remember very clearly. We were about 10.

Flash back:

_We were all going out to the park to play on the swings and stuff. It was going to be a great day. Alice and Jasper were chasing each other around the slides, up and down while Emmett was over by that big spinning thing making Rose go round and round as fast as he could. Rose had been laughing and giggling like crazy. Bella and I were on the swings, she was laughing and going as high as she could; I was watching her every move waiting to see if she was going to fall or hurt herself in anyway. Bella was good at hurting herself and over the years, I got really good and watching her to save her from hurting herself. Everything was going really great._

"_What's wrong Edward. You're not going very high?" Bella asked after a while and she tried to stop herself._

_I jumped off of my swing and was behind her just in time to catch her as she slipped off the back of the swing. She landing in my arms at the same moment she let out a small scream. She hugged herself as tightly as she could to me and all I could do was smile. By the time the rest of them all came running over, I had her back on her feet and perfectly fine. Emmett and Jasper came rushing up first, closely followed by the other girls._

"_DUDE, What happened?" Emmett cried out._

"_Is she alright?" Jasper asked just a little calmer._

"_Bella, Bella, Bella!" Alice came rushing up._

"_Ok, clearly Edward caught her, can we all stop screaming about it now?" Rose asked harshly as she came walking up._

"_Yeah, she's fine guys." I answered back._

"_Yeah, Edward saved me." Bella said as she throw her arms around my neck and hugged me. "My hero to the rescue again!"_

_We all went back to our own activities again. Playing and laughing, close enough to see each other, close enough to talk if we were loud enough. Emmett could talk to us even if we were clear on the other side of the park. This was a park that was somewhat in the woods so not a lot of people liked to use this one. We didn't mind because that just meant there was going to be less kids around. More room for all of us to play around and have fun. Of course, that doesn't mean the place was totally empty. There were a few people that still came her and on this day, there were three teenaged boys hanging out around the park. They came walking up over by the swing set, Bella barely seemed to notice them. My eyes never left Bella but I kept as good an eye on them as I could._

"_Hey there? What are you kids doing way out in the woods like this?" The one closet to me said._

"_Yeah, shouldn't you little ones be hanging out in a safer place than the woods?" The one on the other side of Bella said._

"_We have every right to be here and you have nothing to say about that." I answered them and keeping a closer eye on the one that came up behind Bella while she was back to swinging again._

"_Oh Yeah, and what if we say you and your little girlfriend aren't welcome here anymore?" The third one asked and jumped off my swing to stand as close to Bella as I could without getting in her way of swinging, as she wasn't paying attention to them._

"_Edward? … What's wrong?" She asked after a moment and then she noticed the guys and stopped swinging, she froze._

"_All we want is a nice time at the park." The first one said again. "We don't need a bunch of little kids running around here."_

"_We were here first and you have plenty of room to run." I told them and then the second guy took a step towards Bella._

_I instantly moved to get in his way, whatever he was planning I wasn't going to allow him close to her. … Of course, there were three of them and as soon as I moved to block the one guy, the third guy that was in behind Bella came up and pulled her backwards out of the swing. I spun around in time to see her head hit the ground, hard and she started crying. I was pissed and throw myself at the guys, knocked him to the ground and punched his fucking face; there was a lot of blood coming out of his nose now. The other guys came up behind me and tried to pull me off of their friend but I ended up kicking one and I punched the other in the stomach. By the time I heard Bella scream about the whole thing, Emmett and Jasper had come over and started helping me deal with these over grown idiots. Bullies, I've always hated bullies and these guys had hurt Bella. The girls rushed to Bella's side and made sure she was alright while us boys chased off the punks that ruined our good day. That will teach them to hit a little girl, like that. How pathetic can you get? Us three ran back to where the girls were with Bella and I instantly picked her up in my arms. I handed Bella off to Emmett just long enough for me to check her head for myself to see if there was anything seriously wrong with her. She seemed alright, maybe just a small bump but nothing too bad. I took her back from Emmett, even with her complaining the whole time. She hated it when I picked her up like this._

"_We should take her home so Dad can make sure she's ok." Alice said in a panicky voice, clearly worried about Bella._

"_ME? … What about Edward?" Bella asked incredulously. "Did you NOT see those guys? Edward has to be hurt worse!"_

"_Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence." I said sarcastically. "Trust me, I'm fine Bella. They didn't even touch me."_

"_We'll make sure Dr. C checks out both of you Bella." Jasper said mostly to appease Bella at the time._

_We all went back home and turned out that I was right. It was just a small bump on her head that would be gone in a few days. I however, had not been right about the other thing. They had, in fact, gotten a few good hits on me. I had a sprained arm and plenty of bruised up and down the rest of my body. I didn't really feel any of them, Mom just freaked out when she saw them. Bella was worried as well. She started crying again when she saw how black and blue my arms were and I had to tell her that everything was alright. She wouldn't believe me, but I finally calmed her down. She ended up sleeping next to me for fear I wouldn't wake with my injuries, I tried to tell her she was the one with the head injury._

End flashback

It really was strange. The memories I had of Bella fell asleep around me and it pained me, how many times she cried as well. Bella always came to me when she needed something. I was always glad to help her and happy that she trusted me be to the one that would help her. I just couldn't stand the sight of her crying, I never could. But now, after knowing how I really feel about her. Its just plain torturer to see her cry like that. … Of course, the watching her sleep peacefully afterwards isn't all that bad but it doesn't make up _completely _for the pain it causes me. Or the pain of knowing she will never be with me in any other way than just as my best friend. I'd never allow her to see the pain that either of these things cause me but still, _I will forever feel this pain_.


	7. Ch7 Tanya  REALLY?

Ch7 Tanya … _Really_?

Edwards POV.

I ended up carrying Bella back up stairs and laid her on my bed to rest for a little while. She was going to miss breakfast but I could always cook something for her later. She needed the sleep more than she needed the food right now. When I walked back into the dinning room, I saw Alice barking at everyone to sit down and eat. Apparently they all had been trying to follow after Bella and I since I ran out of the room. I was bombarded with questions the moment I walked in and all I said was that Bella was too tired and had gone back to bed for a little more sleep. They were clearly not buying my story but at least, they shut up about it. Mom came in with the rest of the food and, as always, looked really great but I just wasn't all that hungry anymore. I pushed my food around for awhile while everyone else ate like there was no tomorrow. I had no idea what I was going to do now, but things better work out.

"So, what are we all going to do today?" Emmett asked. "You know, since the dance is in a few days and the girls have everything all set up and stuff. We got time to kill, right?"

"Of course, I have everything ready?" Alice said sharply. "Why would you even say that like a question Emmett?"

Jasper chuckled and leaned down kissed the top of her head. "Yes my Love. We all know everything is perfect because you have everything ready to go."

"You better." Alice said with a pout.

We all laughed at her as everyone filed off into the living room. Breakfast was long over and we were all looking for something fun to do today. It wasn't usually too hard to find something but today seemed to be dragging on forever, _or maybe that was just me_. Emmett jumped on the couch and pulled Rose down on his lap at the same time her turned on the TV. She grabbed it from him and started flipping through to find some Lifetime show. Everyone started filling in the seats and we all sat around watching TV and talking a lot. It was a calm and relaxing time. After a while Bella came walking into the room, looking slightly dazed. She must have just woken up again but at least she looked well rested now.

"Hey, guys. Why didn't someone come wake me?" Bella asked still in a daze as she came to sit next to me.

"You looked like you really needed the sleep." I answered back honestly. "Are you hungry? I'll go cook you something?"

"No, I'm fine really." Bella said as she tried to stand up. "I can go cook for myself."

I pulled her arm gently so she fell back onto the couch. "OR I can go cook for you and you can sit here, like I said." I repeated again before standing up and rushing off into the kitchen.

As I was walking out of the room I could hear Bella complaining about how much she hated it when I did that. Alice and Rose both laughed and told her it was the price she pays for being my friend and trying to get away with doing something for herself. Which, on all accounts was very true. I rarely let her get away with doing anything when she came over here and sometimes when I went to hang out at her house, I'd do things for her over there as well. I fixed up something rather simple but I knew it was one of her favorite things I could cook in the mornings. Eggs, she loved them and she said it was because I always made them perfect. Second only to my mothers cooking, which was saying something. My mom was one of the best cooks in town, probably in the whole world really. She could turn anything we had laying around the house, into the best gourmet food you'd ever tasted.

"Here you go." I said as I placed the plate of food in front of Bella and sat down beside her once again.

"Wow, Edward this looks really great." Bella said as a thanks. "But you know I could have cooked for myself?"

"Yeah, but not as good as Ramsay, over here." Emmett teased me from across the room and I just rolled my eyes at him.

"Yes Emmett, we get it." I said sharply. "I'm a great cook and I hate it when other people mess around in my kitchen."

"Well, apart from Mom, that is." Alice corrected.

We all went back to talking and watching random movies that Rose and Emmett found on TV today. The whole gang spend most of the day just chilling out and relaxing in the living room. The couples were being really cuddly and cute, while Bella and I sat back awkwardly talking to ourselves. It wasn't normally so bad but today seemed to be worse … probably because a part of me wished we could be like that. But we couldn't and I was ok with that.

"OH, hey I just remembered something." Bella said suddenly and she seemed really excited about whatever this way, everyone looked up to see what she had to say next. "Edward? You were telling me before about this girl you like but you never really told me who she was? So, go on … What's her name?"

I instantly froze and glanced over just in time to see Alice's frozen face re-mask itself into something normal. Alice was the only one that knew the truth about how I felt and of course, we both all knew that Bella didn't feel the same way so she knew I was trapped. The others were watching me and Bella, waiting for me to answer her question. Everyone had on a different look, some were confused, others were surprised but seemed pleased, and Bella was expectant as she continued waiting for an answer. I didn't know what to say or how I was going to get out of this one. I panicked and started to say the first thing that could come to mind.

"Umm, well." I mumbled quickly while trying to think. "I really didn't want to say anything but I, I … umm. Its Tanya." I blurted out stupidly, Tanya was a good friend and she's always had a crush on me but I just never felt the same for her; I guess not I understand just how she felt whenever I turned her down.

"Oh, … Really?" Bella asked a little surprised but she still smiled pleasantly up at me.

"YOU like TAYNA? Emmett blurted out loudly.

"How can you possibly even stand that little fake?" Rose asked in a harsh tone, she wasn't a fan of Tanya because she always thought of her as my 'little stalker,' or at least, that's what Rose liked to refer to her as.

"Uh, … I umm." I was stuck, I didn't know what to do and I saw Alice slowly shaking her head at me from the other couch.

"Well, I think you to would make a very cute couple Edward. You should ask her out and see what happens." Bella said simply but the fact it came from her cut me more than it should have.

I didn't want to ask Tanya out, I didn't want to hear Bella saying that we would be a cute couple. I didn't want to be here right now, with everyone staring at me and thinking that I liked Tanya. I had no idea what I was going to do but I had to think quickly.

"OOOO, You could ask her to the dance!" Emmett said all excited and smiley. "Yeah, then Bella could bring this Jake guy and the rest of us could meet him. Its perfect!"

"Wait a minute Emmett." Alice said hesitantly. "I, umm I don't know if that's such a good idea. Rose doesn't like Tanya."

"Yeah and I don't think she would even go with me." I said quickly trying to stop all of this nonsense.

"Of course she would." Rose said rolling her eyes. "She's in love with you, Eddie Boo." She used that stupid pet name teasing me but after weird she made a gagging noise in irritation.

"Aww, come on Baby?" Emmett whined. "I want to meet this guy and this way it will be all Even Steven. PLEASSSSSE?"

"Oh FINE, she can come and I won't say anything." Rose conceded and I wanted to be eaten alive by this couch.

"Good, then its settled. Edward will ask Tanya and I'll invite Jake to the dance and we all can hang out together." Bella said.

"Yeah, should be fun." I said dully and I sunk into the couch; kill me now world, just kill me now.

The rest of the night Alice demanded that we all do more work on the preparations for the dance. We all had to check our outfits again, and make sure that there wasn't a single spot anywhere on them. That we all had our money for the dance and for before and after, in case we wanted to do anything else. Emmett made Bella and I call our 'dates' that night to make sure everything was in order. I had no choice but to call Tanya and ask because everyone was waiting for me to call her. Jacob had already agreed to come.

I dialed the number and put the phone to my ear she picked up on the second ring. "Hello, Tanya?"

"Oh, Edward! Its you, what are you calling me about?" Tanya asked excitedly into the phone.

I could feel everyone's eyes on the back of my head. "I, uh. I was just wondering, if your not busy … Well there is this dance and" I didn't get much farther than that before I heard a high pitched squeal in the background of the phone, I had to move my away.

"Are you asking me to a dance, Edward?" Tanya asked.

"Umm, only if your not busy tomorrow night?" I said simply.

"YES, YES. YES!" She answered happily. "Yes of course, I will go to the dance with you Edward! Oh this is so great!"

I told her that it would be and then handed the phone off to Alice so she would do the run down of everything Tanya would need to know for the dance. Alice took the phone but squeezed my hand quickly to let me know she was sorry about all this. So was I, it was my stupid fault for even opening my big stupid mouth in the first place. I mean, how hard would it have been to just say nothing? … Not really that hard but no, I couldn't to that. I quickly ran up to my room and went to go lay down for a little while.

…

Bella's POV.

Well this was great. … NOT! I mean, I like Jake and all but the last thing I wanted to do was go to this dance with someone and actually have to dance with someone. It was bad enough dancing with Edward, who pretty much never let me touch the ground the whole night. Now Edward would be dancing with Tanya all night and I'd be tripping and killing Jacob on the dance floor. That is if we even make it all the way on the floor before my shoes killed us both. Alice was putting me in these death trapped high heels. I'm really happy to hear that Edward has someone that he really likes to go with and that I'm sure he will have an even greater time now that Tanya had agreed to go with him but I was surprised to hear that it was Tanya. Edward was making it seem like it would be almost impossible to be with this girl but Tanya is someone that already really liked Edward. So, why had he never said yes to her before, if he did in fact like her? It just didn't seem to make sense. In fact, Edward has been acting really weird for a while now?

"Bella. Are you almost ready or what?" Alice asked as she stood outside the bathroom door, I was getting dressed so the girls could doll me up for the dance tonight.

"Almost! … Gees, can't you two just wait five minutes to torture me?" I asked sarcastically as I finished zipping up the dress.

"NO!" Rose and Alice both called and then laughed.

I made quick work of the rest of my dress and carried the shoes out in my hands. I was strongly determined not wear them until it was absolutely necessary. If I thought Alice would allow it, I'd wait until we were getting out of the car and at the dance. That was clearly not going to happen though, I'd be luck if she let me wait till the boys got here. Emmett, Jasper and Edward were coming back to the Cullen house to pick Alice, Rose and myself up before we all run out to get Tanya and Jacob. This was sure to be a very long night and I was positive that I'd end up falling at some point.

"Ok, I'm out. You can get to work on making me, some what pretty!" I told them as I walked into Alice's bed room.

"Oh come on, you know we can make you drop dead gorgeous Bella!" Rose said confidently as she patted the chair for me to sit on. "Alice and I are magic workers and you're already pretty so that much is done for us."

"NOW, stop complaining and let us get to work!" Alice chinned in as she picked up a hair brush.

As they worked on me, I sat there spacing out. Trying to let my mind wonder to anything else but the fact that I was sitting here, getting ready for a dance, … that I was going to with Jacob. My mind was thinking about a lot of different things but it always seemed to run back to Edward. I'd thought about the other dances that they all made me go to over the years, but I spend every dance with Edward by my side. All my favorite birthday party memories involved Edward and the rest of the gang. Whenever I was upset about something I had always gone to Edward to cry it out. If someone was picking on me, Edward was always the closest to tattle to; he always stuck up for me. He was always around to protect me and help me with anything that I needed. Even in the last few weeks, when he was acting so strange, Edward would still do anything I asked of him. Like the first time I was going to hang out with Jake, Edward said he didn't want to but he came anyway. Something had clearly been bugging him and I thought it had something to do with me but Edward still came running after me every time. Edward was always taking care of me and, … and the other night Edward told me he loved me. I thought for sure, at the time he meant like the way we all loved each other; as friends. I even told him such, at the time but looking back on everything I had asked him a question and he gave me an answer. When I asked him to tell me what the problem was, Edward said _"Bella, you are my best friend and I love you."_ He said it with such strength and I had completely misunderstood that he was actually answering my question. He told me the problem and I blew it off without even thinking that it was even possible. Cause at the time, I truly believed it to be impossible that he could really love me. And then, I had cornered him the other day, in front of everyone and asked who he had a crush on. He wasn't going to tell me it was me, not after I blew him off like that. But why did he say Tanya? … Was she just the first name that came to mind? I don't know but now I felt really horrible and didn't want to go to this dance even more.

"Ok, Bella." Rose said breaking me from my thoughts. "We are finally all done so you can get that look of horror off your face now. Come on, it wasn't even all that bad?"

"Huh, … oh yeah. I know Rose." I said a little dazed. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not feeling very well all of a sudden."

"Well, get better because the guys are waiting down stairs." Alice said in a rushed tone. "PUT YOUR SHOES ON MISSY!"

The girls rushed down stairs to meet the boys while I put my shoes on and followed, very slowly after them. I had no idea what I was going to do. Was I going to tell Edward that I knew the truth? Was I really sure that this was the truth, though? Maybe I was just over thinking things and I was horribly wrong. Then I would look like a complete fool if I brought anything up. I just didn't know what I was going to do, but I was certain that I couldn't do anything tonight. I couldn't possibly ruin everyone's good time tonight with this kind of drama. No, it would just have to wait. But then when?


	8. Ch8 The dance

Ch8 The Dance

Edward's POV.

Emmett, Jasper and I were all suited up and waiting down stairs for Rose, Alice and Bella to finish getting ready. It wouldn't be long before we all went out to pick up Tanya and Jacob. Of course, we all won't be fitting in one car so Emmett would drive Rose's car with Alice and Jasper, while I drove my car and everyone else. Bella, Tanya, Jacob and myself … all in my car, to the dance. Yeah, this was sure to be a _fun _night. I wasn't sure how I was going to survive watching her, dancing with another guy while I would be dancing with Tanya but somehow, I was going to have to.

"Ok, Ok. Bella is putting on her shoes and she will be down in just a minute so We are all going out to the car." Alice said as she and Rose rushed down and into their boyfriends' arms.

"Wow, you both look stunning as usual!" Emmett said and as he lead Rose out the door, he gave her a big kiss.

"Of course we do." Rose said simply and kissed him back. "Oh and hurry up Edward. They rest of us will be waiting in the parking lot of the dance so don't let Bella stall too much."

And then they were all gone. I was left alone, at the bottom of the stair case. Waiting for a girl that was going to be with another guy tonight, and that I was madly in love with. _Yep, my kind of night_! There isn't anything I'd rather be doing then this. OH WAIT, I'd rather be doing _ANYTHING _but this! I can't believe my stupid luck, and what I mess I had made of an already messy situation. I however, didn't have too long to beat myself up over this again because soon I heard foot steps coming around the corner on the stairs. I looked up in time to see Bella, step out in her beautifully flowing and perfectly curvy, blue dress. It was something very simple and it wasn't too short either way but it fit her so perfectly that she looked absolutely stunning. Even more so than she normally looked at all these dances and after Alice and Rose steal her away for a playful make-over. Bella was so breathtaking and then I saw it. … Her foot slipped with on of those high heels and she missed her step. I rushed up just in time to catch her before she hit her head on the railing. I placed her on her feet and held her steady, Bella blushed ten shapes redder than the blush makeup she had on right now. … It really sucked being in love with your best friend sometimes because all I wanted to do was pull her close and never let her go. But I didn't have a choice, I had to release her and with a hand, help her down the rest of the stairs; slow and safe.

"Damn these stupid things." Bella mumbled as we walked out of the house and I got here into the car carefully.

I got into the car myself and started it up. "Are you ready for the night to begin Bella?" I asked teasingly.

She shook her head no at the same time that she said, "Yep, its going to be the best!" Bella smiled brightly at her joke.

I was laughing along with her. "I feel exactly the same way." I said honestly as I pulled out and drove to get the others.

Tanya was just a few blocks away and the closest so I went there first. I was dreading this moment the whole time and so I was very quiet but the strange thing was that Bella was really quiet too. She was looking out her side window and not saying anything. When I pulled up to Tanya's she simply got out and slipped into the back seat, without a single word and without even looking up at me. It was kind of strange but I just figured that she wasn't looking forward to walking in those heels after her, almost fall. So, I got out of the car and walked up to Tanya's. She was ready to go and followed me outside quickly. She was cute, in a simple pink dress.

"Oh, this is going to be so great, Eddie Boo!" Tanya said as we walked over to the car, I cringed a little as I opened the door. "OH, Hi, Bella! Aren't you just so excited for tonight?"

"Yeah, … sure." Bella said hesitantly as she gave Tanya's over the top enthusiasm a strange look.

Tanya could give Alice a run for her money when it came to over the top reactions but at the same time, Alice's were usually always really whereas, Tanya would fake most of hers. I couldn't tell if this was a fake one or not but I'm sure it would get on my nerves by the end of the night, either way. I started driving down the road and headed towards the reservation, Tanya was going on and on about how great everything will be while Bella still hadn't said a single word. I was getting a little worried but I figured she'd be better once Jacob was in the car. She clearly liked Jacob.

"I'll be right back." Bella whispered as she got out of the car and headed up to Jacob's front door.

He ended up meeting her half way through the yard and said something I couldn't hear about her outfit. She really did look amazing and a small, petty part of me wanted to curse Alice for doing such a great job when she knew how I felt but I guess I couldn't blame Alice. Bella would look great in anything! They both got back into the car and Tanya said her hellos, over the top excitement still in full swing. … Yep, getting on my nerves. I started driving down the road and I noticed that I could see both Jacob and Bella in my rearview mirror, as well as the road. She was sitting in the seat right behind me and still watching the trees flying past us. Jacob was watching Bella and he looked confused.

"Are you alright, Bells?" Jacob asked and he even had a pet name for her, … wonderful.

"What?…Oh, yeah I'm fine." Bella said turning to look at him and talk to him now. "Sorry I was just thinking about something. So are you ready to have a horrible time. I mean, fair warning; I'm probably going to kill you if we try to dance."

Jacob laughed and grinned brightly at her. "Yeah maybe but at least I'll have fun while I'm dieing, right?" He teased her.

"Oh, aren't you two just the cutest things." Tanya said as she turned slightly in her seat to look back at them. "I mean, really? Edward … aren't they just the cutest?"

"Uh, yeah. … Cute." I said a little distant and I saw Bella look straight up at me from my review mirror, I instantly looked back at the road in front of me and hoped she didn't see me starring.

The rest of the ride was better. Bella and Jacob talked a little in the back seat about random things but Bella still seemed a little distant, I wonder what was on her mind? Tanya was running my ear off about this and that and for the most part I smiled and nodded but didn't out worldly answer much. We showed up to the dance just about a ten minutes before it was starting so Emmett and the rest came over and we all stood around talking. The dance opened and we all walked in as a group, found a big enough table to set our stuff down at, and then spread out into our little coupled groups. Emmett and Rose went to go find a hidden corner, probably to go make out. Alice and Jasper went straight for the dance floor. Bella sat in one of the chairs and seemed determined to get Jacob to agree to let her stay there all night, it wasn't really working. Then Tanya was trying to get me to go dance with her, I didn't want to but I wasn't here to do what I wanted. I was here to make this a really great night for Tanya and to survive watching Bella hanging out with Jacob. I allowed her to drag me onto the floor and we started to dance. It wasn't too bad but it was nothing like dancing with Bella, wrapped safely in my arms. This wasn't perfect to me.

…

Bella's POV.

I finally convinced Jake to sit with me at the table for a while. I had to promise to dance with him later on but at least for now, I was safe. I didn't want to do anything tonight but I didn't want to ruin his night as well. It wasn't Jake's fault that my life was so messed up right now and it certainly wasn't his fault that I had been so stupidly blind before. The only reason Tanya and Jake are here in the first place is because I couldn't keep my big mouth shut. So, here I was. At the dance, sitting at the table, with a friend and watching another friend dancing around with a girl he really didn't even like. All because I didn't realize that he was trying to tell me that he loved me. … Well, what I did understand him at the time, what then? I hadn't even took the time to think about that before.

"Hey, Are you sure you're ok?" Jacob asked me again.

"Yeah, sorry. I guess I'm a really crappy friend for bringing you out here and then behaving this way, huh?" I said honestly.

"I didn't say anything was wrong with how you're behaving." Jake answered back. "Just that, something seems to be bothering you and I want to help."

"It's a little more complicated than I'd like to bring up." I said back. "I'll just worry about everything later, are you having fun?"

"I am, … I'm worried that you're no." Jake said. "You want to trying dancing now or not ready yet?"

"I'll probably never be ready." I said as I stood up, allowed him to drag me onto the dance floor; I could still see Edward and Tanya.

Jake wrapped his arms around me and it didn't quite feel right. I felt warm and comfortable but I didn't instantly feel that safeness that I felt every time I danced with Edward. Jacob lead me slowly to the music and it was a safe, slow pace so things were going well … until I stepped on his toe once. He acted as if he didn't notice but I knew it had to have hurt with these heels. We kept dancing though and I saw Edward glancing over at us from time to time. When ever he saw me looking back he smiled but quickly turned to look at something else. He made it seem as though he was just watching the room as they spun but then his eyes would slid back over to Jake and I. I was sure that I was right. He does love me and I blew him off like it meant nothing. How could I have done that to him, to Edward? I felt horrible and even more lost than before. I had to make this right, … somehow but it would have to wait until after the dance tonight. And I would have to find out how I felt about him, if I loved him the same way or not as well. That was an even bigger question, though. Am I in love with Edward Cullen?

"Yes." I whispered to myself and smiled, it was so simple.

"What?" Jacob asked as we spun around again.

"Oh, umm. Nothing, just talking to myself." I said then I blushed.

"You're not have a good time with me, are you?" Jacob asked as he stopped dancing altogether but he didn't let me go.

"What? … Of course, I am Jake." I said a little surprised.

"But you'd rather be here with someone else, right?" He continued on. "Its ok if the answer is yes, I can tell Bells."

"I'm really sorry Jake." I whispered softly. "I really do like you, its just that I hate dances and …" He cut me off.

"And … you'd have more fun if it was Edward instead of me, holding you right now?" Jake finished for me, I was shocked.

My mouth dropped open and I just stared up at him. How did he know when I myself only just now found out? It didn't make any sense, was I that easy to read to other people? I didn't think so but maybe I was. Jake seemed to be able to read me pretty clearly and we had just barely started hanging out. And I guess that Alice and Edward have always seem through my bullshit. Plus Esme but she's a mom … so its like that mother knows all thing. But that still doesn't help me out now. Jake knew that I wanted Edward, but I was at the dance with Jacob and Edward was here with Tanya.

"Hey, Its cool Bells." Jake said with a chuckle. "I get it so no worries. He's a lucky guy, that Edward. You want me to distract the hyper psycho chick so you can go talk to him?"

"Jake!" I said incredulously, I can't believe he just offered to do that but at the same time it seemed almost perfect.

"You know, you want me to." Jacob taunted me with a huge smile across his face, I couldn't help but smile with him.

Before I could really answer him the second time, Jake was pulling me back towards the table and telling me to wait here. He rushed off before I could stop him and I lost him in the crouwd so I had no idea what he was actually doing until he was there with Edward and Tanya. He tapped Edward's shoulder and whispered something to him that made him freeze for a moment before glaring down at Jake and storming off, leaving Tanya looking very confused. I was pretty confused as well, what had he said to make him so angry. Jake then turned to talk to Tanya and they started dancing together, my attention turned towards the crowd to find Edward. I couldn't see him anywhere, though. I was sure that I couldn't miss him because he was rather tall and had that unmistakable bronze hair.

"BELLA?" I heard his musical voice over the loud music, I turned to see him looking frantically around the room for me.

"Edward! … I'm over here!" I shouted out but he didn't hear me and then he left the room, probably heading down to the restrooms.

I quickly got up and started chasing after him. I was really worried about whatever it was that Jake had said to him now. He looked really pissed off and worried about something. As I was crossing the room, I started to trip over my own heels and just throw them off. I scooped them up as I kept running after him. Edward was really fast and he had plenty of head start so by the time I left the dance room, he was long gone. I went in the direction of the restrooms thinking he would go that way looking for me. I didn't see him around there, though and I was starting to get really worried. Where else would he have gone to look? I was about to go running back to yell at Jake for whatever he said but then I saw him again. Edward had literally just ran out of the women's restroom and stormed off down the hall again. I was too out of breath to call out to him but I followed quickly and when I turned the corner this time, I saw him rush out onto some balcony thing.

"Edward, … wait." I said meekly and out of breath.

Somehow he heard me and turned just outside the doors. "BELLA!" Edward yelled in relief and he waited for me to walk outside to him, the fresh cool air felt really nice now.

"Are, … are you … ok?" I asked in a panting manner.

He didn't answer me, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. "Bella, I'm so glad I found you. Are you ok? What happened tonight? Did Jacob hurt you or something, cause I'll beat the shit out of him if he even tried." Edward rambled on and ended up threatening Jacob.

"Edward, what did he say to you?" I asked after my breathing evened out a little bit. "Why were you running around like that?"

"I was looking for you!" Edward answered simply. "Jacob told me that I really needed to find you. He said that something happened and you weren't speaking to him, that you just took off and that he didn't know what to do. I was pissed, I thought that he hurt you or something that he's lucky I found you. Are you ok?"

I sighed. "I'm sorry Edward. I didn't mean for him to worry you like that. Jake was just trying to help but it was a bad idea. You should go back to Tanya, I'm sure she's wondering where you went by now." I said as I tired to pull out of his arms, he wouldn't let go.

"Bella, she's fine. Are you alright? … Why won't you just answer me?" Edward asked as he lifted my chin to make me look up at him, I didn't want to do this anymore … it was mean to her.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'm ok, I was just a little tired I guess." I answered him softly and tried to pull back again, didn't work.

"Bella if you're trying to protect him because he's your new friend and all that's fine but don't lie to me!" Edward demanded.

"Edward? … Jake didn't hurt me." I said confused, Edward had never raised his voice towards me like that before. "He was just going over there to tell you that I wanted to talk to you. He was going to keep Tanya busy while we talked. I didn't know he'd get you all upset and pissed off. I'm really sorry Edward."

"What? … What for Bella?" Edward asked a lot calmer now and his mood swings were really confusing tonight.

"It was nothing. I'm sorry to have caused you this much trouble over this Edward, please don't be upset ok." I said softly.

"Bella, … it wasn't nothing. Please, just tell me what's wrong." Edward said looking down at me and I was mesmerized by his striking green eyes for the first time.

"Edward, … Edward I know you don't want to be here with Tanya. So why did you tell everyone that it was Tanya that you had a crush on the other night?" I asked after shaking my head clear.

"Because I couldn't tell everyone who I really liked and she was the first other girl that popped into my mind." Edward said.

"And then Emmett made it so you had no choice but to invite her here tonight, right?" I asked finishing for him.

"Exactly." Edward said and then he hung his head. "Bella I'm so sorry, this whole thing is just one big mess."

"Tell me the truth Edward." I demanded simply.

He sighed but didn't look up or even move his arms from around me. "I can't Bella. … I just can't tell you."

"Please Edward, just tell me again." I said desperately.

Edward pulled me closer to him and buried his face in my neck. "Bella, … you have no idea how much I want to tell you but I just can't. It would just be pointless and things are already messed up enough because of all this." Edward said sounding so lost and desperate the it neatly killed me, then his head snapped up and a look of confusion crossed her face. "Hang on, … what did you just say? …. Tell you, … again?"

Crap I didn't mean to say that. Now he thinks I know, which I kind of do but he's not supposed to know that. I didn't want Edward to think that I knew the whole time and that I really was blowing him off the other day. I just wanted him to tell me again, tell me that it was me that he loved and so I could agree with him this time. So I could do thing right this time and everything would be perfect. Yeah, what made me ever thing that that plan would work? Well, now what was I going to do? Pretend that I didn't hear him?


	9. Ch9 The Park

Ch9 The Park

Edward's POV.

I couldn't believe what I just heard? I've been struggling and struggling with this for days now and everything had gotten so far out of hand that I was at the dance with Tanya. I had just about strangled Jacob when he came over and basically told me he lost Bella and then I couldn't find her. Finally find her and then she ends up asking me to tell her everything but turns out she heard me the first time. Bella knew what I meant when I said it the first time and NOW she's asking me to tell her again? … What for, so she can throw it back in my face again? I couldn't believe that Bella would do that to me so then why was she doing this? I stared down at her in surprise and her eyes are wide with fear, she didn't know what to do anymore than I did. Maybe she was confused when I told her the first time or maybe I'm just clueless and she's only trying to be nice right now. … I just don't know anymore.

"Edward … Please, I just … I didn't know before. When you said that … I just never thought that you could mean it like that." Bella said suddenly and she was close to tears again. "Please, just don't be mad at me but I just figured it out tonight and I'm so sorry so just … please. Forgive me and tell me again, Please?"

"Bella, … Bella calm down." I asked desperately not wanting to se her cry again, not now, not tonight. "Bella, its ok. I'm not mad at you, I could never be mad at you. I'm just confused."

"Edward, … I love you and I know that you were trying to tell me the same thing before but I blew you off. I'm so sorry I didn't mean to. I just didn't think you could ever think about me that way, in fact I didn't even know I loved you back until today, when I made myself think about it."

"I can understand that Bella." I said remembering how suddenly I found out just a few days ago, when she was crying. "I honestly never thought that you would feel the same way, I just wanted you to know how I felt but then I changed my mind about telling you after you didn't understand so I just let it go. Then you shocked me by bringing it up again and I was cornered."

"I'm really sorry about that and its all my fault that Tanya got brought into this mess." Bella said sadly and I had to stop this.

"Bella, its not your fault I said her name or that Emmett decided to play match maker that night." I said as I pulled her back into my chest, she was so warm considering how cold it was getting outside tonight. "Bella, I think we should go inside, its getting cold. Or maybe you and I should leave for the night, go somewhere and talk things out. Somewhere with less people and quiet?"

"What about Tanya, Edward? You can't just ditch her like this, she should at least know what's going on." Bella said being the most caring and most responsible person that she was.

"Of course, I will go and explain everything to her before we left." I said as a matter of fact. "She won't be happy about it but she will also get over things when she understands what's happened."

"I hope she won't hate me too much for all this." Bella said as she allowed me to lead her back into the hallway and into the warmth of the building.

"Of course, she won't hate you." I said confidently. "This is not your fault Bella and honestly, she doesn't even like me all that much, she just doesn't want to be alone and I'm the closest single guy around her. She will be fine in no time at all."

We both walked back into the dance room and I instantly started looking for Tanya. What I found was a little bit shocking to say the least, Jacob and Tanya had started dancing while Bella and I were away and now they were slow dancing together like a true couple. Apparently, Bella and I weren't really missed at all. I debated for a moment whether or not to go over there and tell then we were leaving or just leave and text Alice to give them a ride home. Emmett and Rose never went home after these things anyway, so Alice would have plenty of room for them. I was just texting Alice.

"That would be rude Edward." Bella said as she stared up at me, clearly guess my plan of action.

"But they look content right now and I just want to leave." I said honestly and pleaded with her using my eyes.

"No fair, you can't cheat like that?" Bella complained.

"Is it working? … Am I winning?" I asked with a smile.

"Yes, … that's why its not fair." Bella said and crossed her arms over her chest, but her smile said she was just teasing.

"As long as I'm winning, who cares if its fair or not." I said and wrapped and arm around her shoulder to lead her out of the dance.

"Text her before we leave then." Bella conceded.

"Yes, Ma'am." I said and pulled out my cell.

_Edward Text to Alice:  
><em>_Hey, taking Bella someplace.  
><em>_Take the others home Please? :)_

_Alice text to Edward:  
><em>_Only cause I love you.  
><em>_What happened before, she ok?_

_Edward text to Alice:  
><em>_Love you to! She's fine.  
><em>_:) She loves me back! :)_

_Alice text Edward:  
><em>_That's new … congrats!_

I closed my phone and lead Bella the rest of the way to my car. I held open the passenger door for her and helped her inside. Then I rushed over to my side and got in before turning on the car and facing towards Bella. I wanted to know where she wanted to go but suddenly another question came to mind. I wanted to know now.

"When did you figure it out tonight?" I asked curiously.

"When did I figure what out? … That you really loved me or that I loved you?" Bella asked confused.

"Both, either or?" I said, I just wanted to know everything really. "I want to know how and when you figured it all out?"

"Well, I figured out that you loved me, while Alice and Rose were doing my hair and make up." Bella answered. "I had plenty of time to put the piece together as to why you were acting to odd. I knew for sure that it was me, at the dance tonight. When we were all dancing and you were pretending not to watch me and since I never let myself think about it before, I starting thinking about well, what if you did love me? How would I feel about that." Bella seemed to be lost in her thoughts again. "I realized then that I loved you like that as well, Edward. It was overwhelming."

"Yes, I agree with you with that." I told her honestly. "Now, where do you want to go so that we can talk this out?"

"I know its cold out and all but can we go up to our park?" Bella asked after a little thought. "Just for a little while?"

"We can go anywhere you'd like and I have a warm blanket in the back in case it gets too cold outside." I answered as I started to drive towards our park, the one in the woods.

"Do you remember that time, when we were all about ten years old? … Those guys that came and picked on us?" Bella asked in another dazed state, down memory road.

"Yeah, I was thinking about it that other day, when you fell back asleep after running away from breakfast." I told her.

"You know, those were three were a couple of flowers I wish we'd never met." Bella said forcefully and it was cute when she got mad like that, little a little kitten trying to pass as a tiger.

"I'm pretty sure I took care of those punks and the Emmett and Jasper got in a few good hits as well." I said remembering that day.

"I remember, I went home and cried so much." Bella said honestly and I wasn't sure what she was talking about.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked as I turned down the road leading to the park entrance.

"I thought you were so hurt that day and when I got home I couldn't stop crying. I thought it was all my fault that you got so badly hurt and I think I even begged Charlie to go out and arrest those guys for hurting my best friend." Bella told me, I didn't know she had gone home and cried that night.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked confused. "I never new you were crying that night, why didn't you just call me. I was fine after all."

"I don't know. … I thought you were too hurt and then it just never came up again." Bella said as I parked the car. "Hey Edward, do you think we will always be leaves on each other's trees?"

"Of course Bella. The best, we will always be best friends no matter what happens." I answered her honestly and helped her out of the car, only this time I took her hand in mine; she was so warm.

"What if we became fruits and start dating?" Bella asked as we walked, hand in hand over to the swings that we always used.

"Bella, you're the only fruit I want." I answered with a grin. "But, even if things didn't work out well we will always be leaves. Can I tell you a little secrete though, Bella?"

"Ok Sure." Bella said with a smile as she sat down and started to swing very slowly on her favorite swing.

"I would love to go from leaves to fruits but after a few years I'd hope to become bugs and then maybe … if I play my cards right our trees can start a few new branches of our own." I explained to her and I stood behind her, lightly pushing her and making sure she was safe and that she wouldn't all off.

She suddenly stopped swinging and turned to stare up at me. "You remembered all of them? … You were really listening to me that day?" Bella asked incredulously. "I can't believe it."

"I tell you that, I might someday want to start a family with you and all you care about is that I remembered what you explained to me?" I asked with a chuckle, it was so Bella. "Yes I was listening and of course I remembered, your explanations made a lot of sense Bella and I always listen to everything you've ever told me."

"Wow, … Thank you Edward." Bella said softly as she went back to swinging happily again. "The stars are really nice out."

"Yes, they are nice … but they are nothing compared to you." I said cheerfully. "I haven't been able to tell you yet, but you look breath taking tonight and I'm so happy that I can tell you that."

She giggled a little. "Wow, Edward you are too cute. I'm glad that you seem so happy now, though." Bella said with a smile. "I was being to really worry about you and now _we're in love_!"

"Its strange how things work out sometimes." I answered softly.

"Yeah, really strange." Bella agreed. "Hey Edward, can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer me though."

"You can ask me anything, anytime and I will always tell you the truth Bella." I answered back honestly. "Tell me what's on your mind and I'll tell you what's on mine."

Bella giggled a little and stopped swinging. "I want to know when you first found out, why it took so long to tell me and why did you not correct me the other night when I misunderstood you?" Bella asked as she looked back up at me. "Edward, I want to know why you've been acting so odd around me, especially that day with Jacob for the first time hanging out with him."

I sighed softly and moved to wrap my arms around her. "I first realized that I was in love with you the you came into my room because you had that nightmare. I was watching you sleep and then it all just clicked and made sense; I was in love with you. It took me so long to tell you because I was afraid that you wouldn't have felt the same way and it would be pointless to tell you. I didn't correct you because I thought that was my proof that you didn't feel the same. I was so devastated but I didn't want you to know just how much I hearing that had hurt me." I took a deep breath before continuing on, though. "AND, I was acting so strange around Jacob because I was becoming increasingly jealous of him. You've barely met the guy and he's slowing becoming closer to you, I thought he was going to start asking you out soon. That really scared me because if you started hanging out more with him, he'd be hanging out more with all of us. Then you both would start dating and I'd be pushed off to the side but I'd still have to sit back and watch the two of you together. Just the thought of him around you was driving me crazy and I'm sorry I was acting weird but I couldn't help it Bella. I love you and I want you to be happy but I also don't want to watch you be with anyone but for me."

"Wow." Bella said softly and she leaned her head back, she smiled up at me. "I had no idea and this whole time you were worried that I would fall in love with someone else."

"I just want you to be happy Bella, I always have and always will." I told her and placed a soft kiss to her forehead. "But it would just about kill me to have to watch some other guy holding you … or just being around you, like this. I'd do it, for you I'd do anything but I'm certain that at some point; it would kill me completely."

"Well, then I'm glad that I don't want to be with anyone other than you, Edward." Bella said and she pushed off to start swinging again with a very childlike laugh, she was so adorable. "Swing with me Edward. It can't be much fun just pushing me."

"In those heels? … I'd rather be right were I can catch you faster." I answered back as I gave her another light push.

"Ok, then." Bella said simply and started kicking off her shoes, they landed somewhere in the dark over by some trees.

"Bella? … What did you do that for?" I asked with surprise but I couldn't help but laugh along side her.

"I want you to swing with me, Edward." Bella said again, so I did what she wanted; I got on the swing that was closet to her.

"If I had a flower for every time you made me smile and laugh; I'd have a garden to walk in forever." I said quoting another thing that I once found online, I should probably start making my own.

"That would be a lot of random people, Edward." Bella said with a laugh and I laughed with her, she was too cute.

"It was a quote I found but I'm starting to like this becoming a bad habit of mine." I said with a chuckle. "I think I quote things too much, I should just come up with something to say from my own mind. It would mean a lot more if I tried doing that."

"I think quotes are nice but I don't doubt that you could come up with something even better." Bella said as we both continued to swing, it was just like when we were younger.

"Its getting kind of late, do you think we should be heading back soon?" I asked secretly not wanting to go anywhere.

I liked having Bella all to myself and out here was nice; but it was getting late and getting chiller. I didn't want to force Bella to stay outside in the cold; I know how much she hates the cold. She would never say anything unless someone else brought it up first because she wouldn't want to ruin some ones good time. I always loved how caring she could be but at the same time, it drove me crazy how she never stood up for herself. I had to make her care.

"I'd like to stay … just a little long. If you don't mind, Edward." Bella whispered softly. "If you want to go, we can."

I smiled brightly at her. "We can stay as long as you like." I told her happily, I'd honestly do anything to make her happy.

We stayed there, swinging away well into the early morning hours, by the time I got her back to the car, the clock said it was about five in the morning. The sun would be rising soon and so I drove Bella up somewhere so we could watch from a view. It seemed that neither one of us wanted this night to end so I figured watching the sun rise would be a nice delay to getting home. Bella seemed to like the idea about as much as I did. She was all smiles and I even got to wrap her in my arms and hold her in my arms. She was still so warm, even with the chill in the air. My Bella, safe and sound in my arms … and she'll stay there for as long as she will allow me. I was completely telling the truth when I said everything, about wanting to be with her, start a family and spend forever making her the happiest that I can possibly make her. I just hope I can do a good enough job so that she doesn't end up hating me or worse. It was about seven or eight by the time we got back to my house and it wasn't surprising to find that Emmett and Rose weren't back yet. We'd be lucky to see them until next week or so, but what was surprising was that Alice and Jasper weren't at home. … Not even Mom and Dad had been there when I walked Bella upstairs.


	10. Ch10 The Aftermath

Ch10 Aftermath

Bella's POV.

The house was oddly quiet, when Edward and I walked in last night. … Well, I guess it was earlier this morning. I can't believe we stayed out all night. I've never done anything like this before and if I was being honestly, I never would have if it wasn't Edward. I'd do anything, go anywhere for Edward … just to be around him for a little longer. I had suck a wonderful time yesterday and I still can't believe that I'm in love with him. When we got back to his place, Edward walked me upstairs and straight to bed. We were both very happy but very tired and in need of a good nights sleep. Edward hugged me before rushing off to bed and I went in to crash, I slept really well. Not a single nightmare.

"Morning, Beautiful." Edward's voice called from the hall as I heard a light knock on the door. "Are you awake yet?"

"Morning!" I called back with a smile that he couldn't see through the closed door, I rushed to open it and greet him.

"Ok, well its about noon and no one is home." Edward stated simply as we walked hand in hand down stairs. "Do you want some breakfast or would you like to go to eat?"

"We can cook here if you'd like." I answered back. "Where do you think everyone is at? … I know Emmett and Rose are gone."

Edward shrugged. "I guess they all stayed out late, Mom and Dad probably took the time alone for a date night or something." Edward said as we walked past the living room into the kitchen.

"Ok, so what are we cooking?" I asked hoping he wouldn't catch what I said and do that thing he always does.

"Oh no you don't." Edward said, crushing my hopes. "_YOU _are going to go sit down over there, please while I cook."

I sighed but did as he asked. "Ok, fine. What are you cooking then?" I asked as I went to go sit over by the counter.

"Anything you want." Edward said smiling at me. "I can make you breakfast or lunch stuff, or even both?"

"Yum, … Surprise me!" I said eagerly.

He chuckled and went straight to work. "I'll do my best."

Edward was a wonderful cook so I knew whatever he brought me would be amazing. He rarely ever let me get away with doing anything for myself. I can't imagine what if would have been like if I had been dating him this whole time. … I shutter to think about all the things he probably would have done. I'd probably never get to do anything, ever for myself. But here's a question, Are we dating now? We never really said that last night, we found out that we were in love but we didn't talk about what that meant. I guess we could still talk about that now but I don't want to be the one to bring that kind of topic up. I guess it doesn't matter as long as I know he loves me and that I love him. … Edward seemed so happy this morning, he was nothing but smiles as he cooked and when he came back to sit and eat across from me, he took my hand and I smiled back at him. He was so adorable when he smiled.

"That was so great Edward!" I told him honestly.

"I'm glad you liked it Bella." Edward said with a smile. "Bella, … I wanted to ask you a ques…" He was starting to say but the ringing of his cell phone had cut him off. "Hello, … Alice, where have you…? I see. You should have called me sooner Alice. …. Well, you still should have called. … Ok, see you soon."

"What was that all about?" I asked once he hung up the phone, he didn't look very happy anymore and I was worried.

"We have to meet Alice and the others at the hospital." Edward said grimly. "Jacob and Tanya had both gotten into two different fights after we had left."

"WHAT?" I asked surprised, why didn't anyone call before?

"They seem to be alright. Alice said that the other's got most of the damages but we should still head over there to find out what really happened. I'm sorry but it seems like things will have to wait." Edward said and his eye brows creased.

"You can still ask me your question on the way to the hospital." I said trying to save somewhat of his happiness.

"It will probably be best to wait and find out what happened." Edward said but he grinned down at me when he stood and took my hand to lead me to the car.

We both were rather quiet in the car ride up to the hospital. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence but it wasn't much fun either. Edward had something he wanted to ask me but for some reason he wanted to wait to see how the others were before he asked. I was starting to worry what he could want to ask and why it had to wait but I was trying my hardest to be patient. It was just a little hard.

"Ok, so what happened Alice." Edward asked as soon as we found Alice and the others, even Emmett and Rose were here.

"Well after you left, Tanya and Jacob were having a good time and all but then Jacob over heard Mike say something about Bella. Jacob was not very happy about whatever Mike said and he stormed over and started telling him off." Alice started explaining.

"YEAH, It was so cool!" Emmet blurted out.

"Emm, Shut up." Alice said. "Anyway, so then Mike said some stuff back and I turned just in time to see Mike PUSH Jacob. Well, Jacob pushed back and Mike flew back like, really hard. He got back up and tried rushing Jacob but he wasn't strong enough and so the other boys, Eric and Tyler came over to help Mike." Alice was telling us, I was cringing the whole time. "Jacob was doing really well considering there was three to one. Tanya was stunned to see what all had just happened but then Jessica said something about Bella … called her a bitch really. Tanya said that she shouldn't say stuff like that but then Jessica said 'well why not, she's a slut and she ran off with your date last night.' Tanya was not happy after that and she shoved Jessica into some guy. Needless to say, they got into another fight." Alice continued and she seemed to still be feeling the excitement from the fights.

"Alice, that's so crazy. Why didn't anyone call us?" I asked still trying to imagine these big fights at that kind of dance.

"You should have at least called when you got them all to the hospital." Edward said, agreeing with me.

"Well, I would have but you two just needed a night to yourselves and I didn't want to ruin that." Alice explained.

"Alice, these are our friends and the needed us." I said sharply, she should have known better; Alice should have known to call us.

"Now we have to go in there and talk to them." Edward said and his tone took on a sullen note. "I have to talk to Tanya."

"And I should go in to talk to Jacob." I said softly, after all it was my fault that everyone was fighting in the first place.

"Its not your fault Bella. Stop that." Alice and Edward both said together, while looking at me.

"How do the two of you DO THAT?" I asked confused.

"We can read you, that's all." They both said.

"Well, its creepy. SO stop it ok." I said stubbornly,

"Ok, well let just ok." Edward said. "Can we go see them?"

"Dad said its ok for then to have visitors but only one person at a time ok." Alice said as she ran off to go find Jasper, she told us the room numbers and then she was gone.

Jacob was on one end of the long hall way and Tanya was on the other side. Somewhere in the middle were the rest of them, Mike, Eric, Tyler and Jessica. Edward and I really didn't want to see any of them but if we came across them along the way, we'd both go in and check on them. It wouldn't be fun but we'd still do so. However, we did want to find Jacob and Tanya but since they were so far apart and they could only have one visitor at a time, Edward and I separated and started walking to find our friend. It was a little harder than it should have been to see Edward walking away from me like this, it reminded me of that nightmare I had once. I didn't like it but for some reason, I couldn't look away until I couldn't see him anymore. The halls were crowded, full of nurses and doctors and other random people. Once Edward was out of site I started looking for Jacob's room. Luckily, I didn't see any of the others along the way and I found Jake easily enough. Alice had been right, he didn't look all that beaten up and I was happy to see that.

"BELLS!" Jake said as soon as I walked in.

"Hi, Jake. Are you alright?" I asked softly as I walked closer to the hospital bed he was laying in, I hate hospitals. "Why did you get into a fight like that, it wasn't very smart?"

"Ahh, Come on. I'm not even hurt." Jake said with a chuckle. "Besides, that Mike guys deserved what he got, they all did."

"Yeah, maybe … but you still shouldn't have fought with him." I said stubbornly and Jake just smiled brightly at me.

"You don't like hospitals, do you Bells?" Jacob asked.

"Nope, not really." I said simply. "How could you tell?"

He chuckled again. "Its ok. I guess I'm just used to being here. Dirk bikes and cliff diving … you get to know your doc a lot when you're a young teenaged boy." Jake said with a laugh.

"Yeah, I guess you would." I said and I couldn't help but to laugh with him, Jake was good at that. "Hey, Jake. What happened?"

"I over heard that blond idiot talking about you." Jacob said simply but his eyes narrowed when he was talking about Mike. "He said some stuff that I didn't agree with and I told him so. Mike then decided to argue with me and one thing lead to another. Before I knew it, Mike was on the ground that these other two guys were coming to help the little punk. I took them all on and they still couldn't defeat me." Jake sounded very pleased with himself.

"You should have been fighting with anyone, and especially not over something like me." I told him simply.

"Well, I wasn't going to just let him get away with talking about you like that. He didn't know anything about you." Jacob said stubbornly. "Besides, that little stalker needed a good reality check and I'm pretty sure they all got one."

"This isn't a joke, Jake." I said strongly. "You could have gotten really hurt and all because of me. That's not something I like very much so be serious, please. I mean, you barely even know me!"

"Yeah, but you're still my friend Bells." Jacob said simply as if that was good enough to explain himself. "I still care about you and it feels like we've been friends forever, doesn't it?"

"Yes, but that's not my point." I told him. "You could have been really hurt and it would be all my fault."

"No it wouldn't. You weren't even there, Bella." Jacob said.

"Yes it would be." I argued. "You were fighting because Mike said something that you didn't like, about me. There for, you were fighting because of me; my fault."

"Sure, sure Bells." Jake said simply with a small smile. "What ever you say. But I still don't see the big deal. I mean, I'm not even hurt. Not a scratch, the only reason I'm still here is because Alice threatened my car if I didn't come here."

"Well, I'm glad she did then. How do you know you're not hurt? You couldn't have fought three guys and not have gotten hit at least a couple times." I told him back. "Jake you really need to be more careful and I don't care if he was talking about me or not, you shouldn't have fought any of them."

"Ok, I'm sorry I worried you then." Jake said and it sounded sincere. "SO, how did things go with Edward? Did you all have a night time wherever it was that you ran off to?"

"Yeah, I had to hunt him down after you scared and pissed him off." I told him with a slight glare, he just smiled. "I told him that I was in love with him and then he took me out the park. It was a place we all went to hang out at, we stayed and talked for hours."

"Sounds like you had a great night." Jake said with a smile. "I'm glad to hear that things worked out with him."

"Thanks Jake." I said and it seemed to me, like something in the air had changed; it was thicker somehow and I didn't know why.

Shortly after I noticed the change in the air, a nurse walked in to check on Jake. She said hello to me and got straight to work, asking him questions and checking things around the bed. I didn't want to pay too much attention because there were bound to be things that I didn't want to see. I mostly stood around looking out at the sky, it was a cloudy day but the sun was kind of shining. As the nurse was finishing I heard Jacob chuckle and turned to see him watching me. He thought it was funny, how much I hated these hospitals but I didn't. I hate them and I'm a klutz to I was here a lot. At least this hospital had Dr Cullen, he was the best and I'd always felt safer with him on call. That however, does not mean I like the hospital or needles any more than when he's not but he defiantly helps make things better. I left Jake to rest, shortly after the nurse was finished with her rounds in the room and he finished laughing at me for not liking this horrible place. I went back out into the hall way and found that no one else was out there, no one I knew anyway. It was bringing back that heavy feeling the air had from before and I certainly didn't enjoy it very much. I was starting to wonder where everyone else was, I knew Edward was with Tanya and Alice ran off to find Jasper somewhere else. So that just left, Carlisle, who was most likely working, Esme was mostly volunteering somewhere in the hospital and so where was Emmett and Rose. Alice had said that they were here somewhere or did they leave some time before Edward and I got back here. I guess it really doesn't matter, since they aren't here right now. I found a chair along the wall and sat down to wait until someone came.


	11. Ch11 The Hospital

Ch11 The Hospital

Edward's POV.

We showed up to the hospital and found Alice, shortly after. She explained what had happened and where everyone was before rushing off to go find Jasper. They were probably heading to the gift shop because even at a hospital, Alice has to shop for something. Emmett and Rose were probably somewhere making out or something, since their little hotel trip got put on hold by this mess. Dad was probably working his rounds and Mom most likely went to find someone to help, our friends were doing well so there was no real point to everyone hanging around.

…

It was just Bella and I, standing around in the hall way and as much as I didn't want to leave her side; I had no choice. Alice said that we could only go in to see them one at a time and Tanya was on one side of the building and Jacob was on the other. I had to walk away from her and every step seemed like an even bigger mistake. I wanted to turn around and run back to her, just once but I knew better than that. If I turned back now, if I saw her standing there; I'd run to her and never let go. So I continued moving forward and listened for any sign that would tell me where she was, how far she was from me now. It was hard to time about, reminding me of the dream she had. It almost seems like so many nights ago that she came to me crying. She had said that in her dream, I was leaving her. I walked away from her, almost like I am now and the comparison made me want to turn around even more. Somehow, I found myself outside of the room Tanya in. I slowly walked inside to find her laying on one of the hospital beds, she looked mostly alright. Nothing too bad from first glance but being my father's son, I know how closer looks can change things. Looking down at her, smiling brightly up at me; I suddenly felt like the worlds biggest ass hole. Tanya really cares about me in a way that I can never care for her. I do like her and I care that she's hurt. To me, Tanya will never be more than a good friend maybe even a family member but never a lover. Bella will be the only bug upon my tree, that is … _if we ever become lover_. Right now, I have no idea what we are. I have been too afraid to ask until recently and then just when I was about to bring it up with her, my phone rings and so here we are. At the hospital, trying to find out what happened with our dates to the dance from last night.

"EDWARD!" Tanya called excited to see me.

This was going to be a very hard talk. "Hello, Tanya. How are you feeling?" I asked as I came closer to her bed. "Alice told me that you got into a fight with Jessica."

"Yeah, … well that bitch started it." Tanya said defensively. "Anyway, I'm fine really. She got most of the damage."

"I'm sure she did." I responded, knowing just how well she could fight when she wanted to. "Tell me what happened, please?"

"Well, Jacob and Mike got into this huge fight over something Mike said. It was all Mike's fault but Jake is a really good fighter and so Eric and Tyler tried helping. Jacob was so good that even the three of them couldn't touch him." Tanya sounded really impressed with Jacob. "Then while I was watching with everyone else, Jessica came over and said something about it being all Bella's fault and she called her a bitch, Edward. I like Bella, she seems nice so I told her that she should keep her mouth shut. She pushed me, Edward. Ahh, I really hate that girl!" Tanya was really angry about all this. "Then she said that I shouldn't be defending her because Bella was nothing but a slut that ran off with my date. I couldn't believe that she would even say something like that so I punched her lights out. She didn't see that one coming!" Tanya finished and by the end she was throwing punches into the air.

"Tanya, … we have to talk about something." I said softly and I could bring myself to look her in the eye anymore, I felt lower than dirt in this very moment and she would hate me now.

"Of course, Edward. What's on your mind?" Tanya asked in her over the top excited voice, only making me hate me more.

"Its about what happened at the dance last night." I started off.

Tanya instantly jumped in, cutting me off. "Oh, I know I shouldn't have been fighting Edward. I know and really I'm not proud of it but she deserved it and I didn't like how she was talking about Bella. I know, I don't know her was well as the rest of you but I think she's really nice." Tanya said in a rush.

"Tanya, … I know. This isn't about what you did, its about what I did. … To you." I answered bad and my head fell forward. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I honestly do care about you. I just think I may have lead you into thinking it's a little more than I do. Tanya, I'm so sorry that you're here right now and that I have to do this but I didn't want to ask you to the dance. I didn't mean to but I walked myself into a huge mess and somehow, your name slipped out when I was trying to cover myself. Once I called you, there was no going back and I'm sorry but I don't think of you that way."

"Oh Edward, …" Tanya said softly but she didn't sound hurt or even angry, like I had thought she would be. "I knew the whole time you didn't want to be there with me. I was completely surprised that you even asked me in the first place. I just honestly didn't want to go alone so when you asked I said yes."

"You don't hate me then?" I asked surprised as I looked up to see her expressions to make sure she wasn't lying.

"No, of course not." Tanya said sincerely. "Edward, I know you're in love with Bella, I could see it in the way you watched her all night. She's a very lucky girl, I hope she knows that."

"I'm the lucky one, I found out quite recently that she loves me back." I said softly. "Tanya, I'm so sorry I treated you this way."

"Save it Cullen." Tanya said and waved me off with her hand to dismiss my apology. "Edward, you're a great friend and you honestly care a lot. You want to make everyone happy but don't you think its about time, you go out and make you happy?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, she should be hating me right now. Instead she's telling me to be happy, to go and make myself happy. Tanya really was one of my best friends and I would have been a sorry man to have lost her. I'm glad that she doesn't hate me, that she's not mad but a part of me still wants to make thing up to her. Some how, some day I will make this up to her. I had no idea how but I was determined to make things right.

"Edward, you need to learn to relax a little." Tanya said pulling me back from my thoughts. "You look like you should be laying in this bed, not me. Come on, get going now."

"What? … Why do you want me to leave?" I asked confused.

"Because I don't see any Bella around here, do you?" Tanya said sarcastically. "Now, get! Go on, go find her, Edward."

"Tanya, you are a wonderful leaf, I'd really be sorry if I lost you." I told her honestly and she gave me the weirdest look.

"I'm a what now?" She asked, and I almost laughed at myself; I hadn't even noticed that I used Bella's logic here.

"Sorry, I called you a leaf. It means your one of my friends, a very good friend Tanya." I explained to her. "I promise I'll explain it better later, so you understand but its something that Bella once told me and I really think it makes a lot of sense."

"Okay, I can't wait. … Oh, wait I have to wait!" Tanya said and then looked around the room. "I'm stuck in this place."

I was chuckling softly as I left the room. Tanya was something else. She's a great friend and can usually make me laugh when I need it but she has a bit a temper. On my way out I noticed one of the nurses making her round on the floor, she was swiftly moving pasted me to get into the room with Tanya. As I walked out of the room I instantly started looking around for Bella. I was glad that everything worked out so well with Tanya but I just really wanted my Bella back with me. I didn't think I could miss her this much. I was looking up and down the hall from outside of Tanya's room but I couldn't really see the people very well. I thought I saw her but it turned out to be some other girl, with her boyfriend. I was beginning to think that she hadn't left Jacob's room yet, when I started walking down that way and saw her sitting about half way between. She was just sitting in a chair along the wall, reading one of the outdated magazines. She hadn't notice me so I quietly walked over and sat in the seat just beside her. She didn't even notice when I sat down and leaned towards her, until I stole her hand, that is. She jumped and then blushed when she saw me.

"That wasn't very nice Edward!" Bella chided but it was worth getting to see her blush and smile at me like that.

"I can live with that." I said simply as I pulled her hand up to my lips so I could place a gently kiss to the back of her hand. "How's Jacob doing? … Tanya isn't in that bad of shape."

"He's ok. More than that, he thinks he is perfectly fine and that Mike and them are all beaten by big bad Jacob Black." Bella said teasingly but I could see in her eyes that she was still worried about his well being, even if he wasn't.

"I'm sure they both will be fine in a few days." I said to reassure her. "Hey, you want to get out of here? I know you hate this place."

She smiled up at me again and placed the magazine down. "I'd love to go anywhere you want." Bella said happily.

"Great, because I have this place that I've always wanted to take you to but never thought of a good time to." I said, thinking about my little paradise. "Plus its rare that we get good weather."

"It sounds very nice Edward." Bella said and we both got up to get ready to leave. "I'd love to see this place."

"Perfect, I just have to check on something real quick, here." I handed her the keys to my car so she could get in. "I'll be right out. I just need to do something so you can go outside, if you'd like."

"Okay." Bella said as she took my keys.

Bella was about to walk away but I still held her hand so I pulled her back to me for a really quick hug and I placed another soft kiss to her hand. She blushed for me again before rushing down the hall. She disappeared around a corner so I started walking to my destination, Jacob Black's room. I was going to just walk in but I wasn't sure how he would take to that. I wasn't really his friend yet, I wasn't even very nice to him the last time I saw him. In fact, I'm pretty sure I had glared at him just before storming off. Yeah, _that was what happened last_, nice manners _Edward_. So, I knocked; once, twice, three times but there was no answer. … Maybe that had him sleeping or something?

"Dude, come in or get away from the door. This a hospital not a hotel or something." Jacob called as I was about to walk away. "Gees can't a guy in a bed, just stay in the bed!"

"Its rude to enter a room, any room without welcome." I said as I walked into the room and saw him. "Besides, I wasn't sure if you would want to see me or not. Its polite to give a person a chance to say no, you can't come in."

"Oh, its you. Edward I didn't know you were coming in to see me." Jacob said sounding about as surprised as I thought he would be. "What are you doing down here? I know Tanya's on the other side of the building. You looking for her?"

"Yeah she is, I just saw her and she's doing fine." I told him. "I actually came to talk to you for a moment, if you don't mind."

"Uhhh, yeah sure." Jacob said hesitantly but willing.

"I wanted to thank you for everything that you did for Bella." I told him honestly. "For getting her from the woods, the ride home, hanging out with us the next day, for the dance and even for sticking up for her against Mike. … Not that he's much of a fight but still, Thank you for everything."

"Umm, yeah. No problem." Jacob said looking confused. "I mean, she's a nice girl and you all seem to really care about her. … You seem to really take care of her, Edward."

"I'm in love with her." I answered and watching his eyes told me that he knew that. "I also think that you might be falling for her as well, but I'm not say you are. I could just be seeing things because I have been very jealous of you, Jacob."

"Damn, and here I thought I was hiding it better." Jacob said sarcastically. "Bella's pretty much the only one missing it, huh? Oh well, she's probably better off with you, you're the one she wants."

"Thank you Jacob, for everything." I said sincerely.

"Are you going to keep saying that?" Jacob asked.

"No, that was the last time." I answered him. "I just wanted you to know and to find out for sure if I was right or not."

"Just make sure she's happy, ok?" Jacob asked.

"Its will be my pleasure." I said back just before I walked out the room and down the hall, I wanted so badly to be with Bella now.

By the time I found Alice and Jasper to tell them that Bella and I were leaving, I was long passed missing her. I getting frustrated just talking to Alice and Jasper because they were keeping me from her. It wasn't very normal to feel this way when she wasn't around but at the time I couldn't have cared less. I wanted her and I didn't care how rude I had to be to get to her faster. Good thing, Alice understood and made things move along quickly. I was out of there and walking past the front desk in no time at all. I just wanted to find my car, which has my Bella and go to my very special spot. I walked out into the parking lot to walk to my car but it wasn't were I had parked it? At first I thought that maybe Bella had driven it somewhere, but where would she have gone without me?

"Edward? … The car is gone?" Bella called and I turned to see her walking up from the middle of the lot. "Its not even parked anywhere, I looked? What happened?"

"That's just great." I said but I pulled her into my arms and instantly felt better and less irritated about everything. "Umm, I don't know but I'm sure we'll find it soon enough."

"EDWARD!" Emmett's booming voice called from behind us. "HEY, I had to move your car … Rose hacked it or whatever and its on the other side of the building. Glad I found you."

"Wow, thanks Emm." I said and was about to lead Bella away.

"DUDE! … Are you… and she… WOW?" Emmett said … well kind of said and gestured at Bella and I a lot.

"Umm, what Emmett?" Bella asked a little embarrassed with all the attention he was drawing towards us all.

"Yes Emmett, what?" I asked teasingly.

"DUDES! … Are you together?" Emmett asked now.

"Emmett, keep it down." Bella demanded. "People are starting to stare at all of us so cut it out!"

"Well, … Are you?" Emmett asked again.

"I don't know, Emm. We are leave together and I guess we hang out a lot. … I guess at the moment we are standing together." I answered back jokingly, he was getting frustrated.

"Dude, … not cool." Emmett said. "Just go away!"

"Thank you Emmett, thank you!" Bella said and then she started pulling me away from him as fast as she could.

I couldn't stop all the laughter that came from me on the way to finding my car. At some point Bella started laughing with me and soon enough we both found my car. She let us in, since she still had my keys and then I started driving off. I couldn't wait to get her to my favorite spot, I knew she would love it as much as I did. The day was so bright and sunny so it was the perfect weather for this event and it would be the perfect place to pick back up on the topic I wanted to start before I got the call to come to the hospital. I wanted to talk to Bella about what all this means for us now. I couldn't seem to get there fast enough, every inch of me was racing to get there faster and to finally figure things out. I wanted to be with Bella but I didn't want to assume something that we weren't. The hardest thing about this drive was knowing what I wanted to do most and knowing that it was probably a long shot, at best.


	12. Ch12 We're in love, aren't we?

Ch12 We're in love, _aren't we?_

Edward's POV.

I couldn't wait to get to my favorite spot with Bella, I knew she would love it as much as I did. The day was so bright and sunny, it was the perfect weather for this event. It would also be the perfect place to pick back up on the topic I wanted to start before I got the call to come to the hospital. I couldn't seem to get there fast enough, every inch of me was racing to get there faster and to finally figure things out. I wanted to talk to Bella about what all this means for us now. I wanted to be with Bella but I didn't want to assume something that we weren't. I didn't want to do something without making sure she was clear as to what we are. The hardest thing about this drive was knowing what I wanted to do most with Bella and knowing it wasn't the right time to ask.

"So, … where is this place at anyway?" Bella asked when she saw that we were heading for a twisting road in the woods.

"You'll see soon enough, Bella." I told her with a smile. "Trust me, I'm sure you will love the place. Its rather beautiful."

"Yeah, but why does it have to be a surprise." Bella complained, she hated surprises. "I hate surprises, Edward."

I chuckled a little. "I know but trust me, it will be worth the patients you put up with for me." I explained. "But we will have to walk some of the way to get there. Is that alright with you?"

"Am I going to kill myself on this walk?" Bella asked teasingly with a bright smile.

I couldn't smile back, though. "Bella, that's not very funny." I said with a hard frown, I didn't like when she joked like that.

"I'm sorry, Edward. You know I didn't mean it like that. I wasn't trying to upset you." Bella said sullenly.

I sighed. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have over reacted like that, it was just a little joke." I told her then a thought came to me. "Besides, you know I wouldn't allow anything to happen to you. I won't even allow yourself to injure you, so you'll be safe."

She smiled again and I was happy. "I'm always safe around you, Edward. You're like my guardian angel."

"I'm glad you feel this way, Bella. I'll always be here for you." I told her honestly, I was happy she felt so safe around me."

We were almost there. I pulled up in front of the woods and parked just to the side of some path but we wouldn't be taking that. Bella wouldn't pleased but I'll be with her so she shouldn't put up much of a fight. At least, I hoped she wouldn't. I really want to show Bella to my special hiding place, I know she'll love the view. We got out of the car and I started leading her deep into the woods, she tried to protest after learning we weren't taking a path but I quickly reassured her and she allowed me to take her hand again. It was a rather slow and long walk but with Bella in my arms, it felt like time stood still. Time and space didn't seem to matter, … as long as there was no distance and time between Bella and I.

"Are you going to keep us walking all night?" Bella asked teasingly but I could tell she was having fun, at least a little.

I chuckled softly. "Yeah, its just about around the corner up there." I explained as I pointed the curve of the trees that lead to my place.

We walked closer and soon we could both see the bright light shinning down. It was still day light, in fact, we had plenty of day light left for us to enjoy. This was really great because it was very beautiful with the sunlight shinning down from straight above the opening in the trees. This place was just a small clearing that I found once, I used to come out here to think a lot. It was the perfect escape from the rest of the world but after today, I was hope to love this place even more for an even better reason; Bella. She was my better reason for everything and she could only improve my feeling for my little get away. The perfect place for this conversation to happen because it is so special to me, just how Bella is so special to me and I want her to see just how special.

"Oh Edward, … This is so, … so WOW!" Bella said and she seemed a little stunned but in the best way possible.

"I know. It's amazing isn't it?" I asked as I lead her to the middle of this perfect circle in the trees, a small clearing just for us.

"So, … are you ever going to tell me what was on your mind before?" Bella asked after a while of us just sitting around and enjoying the sunlight. "Or, am I just going to have to guess?"

"We can talk whenever you are ready. I wouldn't want to break you away from enjoying this sun shine or from the beauty of this place." I told her with a smile, she was sitting in front of me, facing me and I couldn't held but to take hold of her hand in mine.

"I'm ready when you are." Bella said smiling back. "I believe you were about to ask me if you could ask a question."

"I want to talk about us, Bella." I said quickly but I was beyond terrified that I would say something wrong and mess everything up, I was so afraid of loosing her but I wasn't even sure I had her.

"Well, … Umm what about us?" Bella said hesitantly but I couldn't tell if she was nervous because the question or because of what this question and I have implied with the question.

"I know, we said we loved each other and all but I wanted to know what that meant for us now." I asked still calm on the outside but panicked beyond believe on the inside. "I don't want to assume we are something that you don't want us to be or to do anything that you don't want me to do. I'd rather talk this out, this way we both know what to expect and what not to expect."

"I can understand that, Edward." Bella said simply. "So what does this all mean for us then?"

"I was kind of asking you?" I said cautiously, maybe she didn't have any clue just as I didn't; what would we do then?

"… Um, well clearly we are in love?" Bella said softly as she slowly slide to sit just to my right, I never once released her hand.

"True, I do love you Bella." I said back as I watched her other hand slowly moving to rest upon my arm that was holding her hand.

"We, … well we already spend a lot of our time together." Bella continued on. "We spend more time together, at your house than with anyone or anywhere else. … And, and we have shared so much together already." Bella's cheeks blushed slightly and she quickly moved to hide her face from me, looking at the ground.

I moved my free hand over to carefully lift her chin so she had to look back up at me. I didn't want her to hide anything from me, let alone hide that beautiful face of hers. Her blush only seemed to increase the allure she seemed to have for me. Everything about Bella was screaming at me to notice her, it was wonderful to think about how I never noticed this all before. I've always known she was beautiful and that she was smart and adorable but I never noticed just how much all those things meant to me. She's the only girl, I have ever thought about in this way; but was this the right way to think about the girl I cared so much about? Would she hate me, if she knew what that blush made me want to do?

"Please, … don't hide from me, Bella." I said softly as she looked up into my eyes again and I pulled her closer to me … but still, not too close that it would be uncomfortable for her; _I hoped_.

"I'm sorry, I just … we have shared a lot of things, Edward. I was just thinking about something embarrassing, that's all." Bella whispered into the air, a hushed breath that barely made a sound.

"You never need to feel that way with me." I leaned down to softly whisper in her ear, _where the hell did that come from_? "Bella, I love you so much and I never want you to hide from me."

"Uh, umm. Ok." Bella said a little disoriented, she then leaned into me and rested her head on my shoulder.

I wrapped my arm around her, while still holding her hand. We had spent some time out here and the sunlight was slowly going away but we weren't ready to leave yet. We needed more time to talk and to just enjoy this peaceful little moment, just her and I together.

"So, … are we, like … umm dating now?" Bella asked while she was playing with my fingers, and tracing shapes on my hand.

"If that's what you'd like us to be, then I'd be happy to be your fruit Bella." I answered her honestly. "Not to, over do your little philosophy on love and all but I think it was perfect. Not to mention how cute it is when you think about the terms."

"I'd like to be mmhrr" Bella whispered and the last part was so low and mumbled that I couldn't make it out.

"What was that Bella?" I asked honestly confused. "I couldn't quite hear just what you said then."

"Nothing, its nothing Edward." Bella said a little loader.

"No, I didn't hear you. Please Bella just tell me." I begged her.

She took a deep breath and then sighed harshly against me. "I said I'd like to be MORE." Bella said with much more force. "But I know that's stupid and that its too soon, I didn't want to say anything. Edward, I really love you and I know you love me but its still too soon to even think about being more right now. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Bella." I said with a crooked smile. "I'd be happy to be anything for you. Bella, we have practically known each other our whole lives and I'm sure on some level, we must have known how we felt. I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you into anything but if you'd rather we be more than who am I, to disagree. I love you Bella and I will do anything you ask."

"I'd like you to make me, … _your's _Edward." Bella said simply and she looked me straight in the eye, she was shinning now.

"Anything you say, Bella." I replied simply and lifted our hands so I could once again kiss the back of hers. "It would be my honor to call you my girl friend, Bella but you realize this mean I can buy you anything I want … without reason or complaint?"

I expected her to smile, make another joke, to glare playfully at me or something like all that but she didn't. Instead, she quickly sat up and turned so she was, once again, sitting in front of me. Bella was looking very shocked and confused but I'm sure I looked the same.

"It was only a little joke Bella." I explain quickly but she shook her head at me and pulled her hand back so I couldn't bring her back over to sit with me again, _**what did I do wrong now**_?

"I'm sorry but … is that, is this _**all **_you want to do?" Bella asked and she sounded … hurt? "I mean, I say I want you to make me your's and you call me your girl friend? _REALLY_, Edward?"

"I, … I don't think I understand." I said hesitantly, she looked to be on the edge of tears again and I couldn't take that. "Was that wrong Bella, … should I have said something else, done something?"

"… Umm, uh no, Edward. I'm sorry it was nothing." Bella said softly after staring at me for a really long time.

"No, its not nothing. Bella please, if I did something wrong? … Bella please tell me what I did, so I can fix this!" I begged again.

"Nnn, no. No I'm sorry." Bella said as her tears suddenly took over control and started falling uncontrollably.

"Bella, … Oh Bella please don't." I said trying to move closer to her, I wanted to hold her and make the tears stop but she moved away from me again, pulling back from my grasp.

"I … I just need a minute Edward. I'm so sorry." Bella said through her tears and so I sat back as she slowly stabbed my heart.

Every second was agonizing … to have to sit back and watch as the love of my life, cried and wouldn't allow me to even move next to her. I couldn't stand to keep my eyes on her tear stained face but I couldn't bring myself to look away. I wanted to know what I did that was so wrong … _because I would never be doing this again_. I couldn't possibly ever cause her this much pain again. She cried for a while more, and I sat back waiting for her to tell me she was alright before I even bothered to ask if I could reach for her again.

"I'm sorry Edward. … I just thought that you would have wanted the same thing as me, it was a little heart breaking that you don't." Bella told me in a whisper, not meeting my eyes again. "I'm sorry I over reacted like this, it was stupid."

"No, Bella, of course it wasn't stupid." I reassured her. "Bella whatever it was that you wanted, please tell me?"

"No, … Edward its getting late." Bella said looking anywhere but where I was sitting in front of her. "Can we just go and talk about this again some other time, please Edward?"

I didn't really want to just let this one go, I wanted to know what I did so I never did it again BUT; the please and Bella had me under her spell. I would do almost anything once she asked me this way. Bella had always used that word against me but now I wanted to fight the hidden power she had. It was absolutely hopeless but still, I wanted to try … I failed and we started heading for the car. It seemed much farther away and the air felt even colder as she hadn't spoken a single word since we started to leave. This was the first time she'd ever given me anything like the silent treatment and I had to say, I didn't like it one bit. … I could barely stand the ride home, knowing she was so upset with me and I didn't even know why? … _What was it that I did wrong_, … and _**this **_wrong?


	13. Ch13 The Jokes Begin

Ch13 The Jokes Begin

Bella's POV.

Edward drove us back to his place, after I convinced him that I didn't want to talk about this anymore. The ride back was really uncomfortable and very quiet. I didn't want to say anything because I was sure I would start crying again, I can't believe I cried like that. I got all upset and for what? He called me his girlfriend, that's what I wanted; wasn't it? No, at the time I wanted more than that, I wanted him to call me his and for him to kiss me. It was stupid to think that something so romantic would ever happen to me but it was Edward and I felt like I was in a fairytale. The meadow he took me to was beyond beautiful and you could hear a gentle stream somewhere in the distance. Everything seemed so magical and I just got lost in the moment. I shouldn't have reacted that way but at the time, I couldn't stop myself. So, here I am; sitting on my spare bed, in my spare room, thinking about how stupid I was and how much he must hate me right now. Last night was probably one of the worst nights of his life, its all my fault.

"Hey, can I come in?" I heard Alice call from the hall.

"Yeah, sure Alice." I called back and she slowly walked in the room, she was smiling but it wasn't as bright as usual.

"The guys at the hospital are doing well." Alice started simply but when she came to sit next to me on the bed, everything changed, she started talking fast and rambling. "So, Jacob told me about the fight and Tanya told me about hers, they both had similar things going on and everything seemed to come down to you. Isn't that just so weird? I mean, two fights, one night and both about the same person … odd, right? Anyway, so I saw you ran off with my brother before all the fights started. So, where did he take you, was it fun? Are you two dating now? Can Rose and I take you shopping for a week long trip? Jasper said he won't go with us this time and Emmett has this job thing. Rose said she'll do your hair up nice for your first date with Edward. … When do you think that will be?"

"ALICE, … Alice stop!" I said suddenly overwhelmed.

She took a deep breath and looked me square in the eyes. "Are you, Bella Swan dating my brother, Edward Cullen?" Alice asked in the most serious tone she has ever used around me.

"Umm, well …. I don't know Alice." I said hesitantly, I wasn't sure how Alice or the others would react but also I honestly wasn't sure anymore; we didn't really make that clear last night.

"Do you like him or not Bella?" Alice demanded now.

I sighed and took a deep breath. "Alice, I love him." I told her and it felt nice to finally say that out load, it felt great actually.

She squealed. "AWWW, YAY! I'm so happy for you!" Alice said as she hugged or rather squeezed the hell out of me.

"Al, … Al, Can't … breath." I barely got the words out.

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad!" Alice said as she let me go and honestly, I was just mostly teasing her; _mostly_.

"But really, I don't know if we are or not." I told her. "We were talking about it last night but never really made that clear and then of course I had to go and ruin everything. He probably hates me now, Alice and I don't know what to do anymore."

"Well, I don't care what you THINK you did, if he doesn't date you then I'm going to run his ass over with my car." Alice said sternly and I suddenly felt fearful of how true she was being.

"Alice, you can't do that." I said a little shocked.

"Watch me, … well anyway, he loves you so of course he will date you Bella." Alice said with a smile and she got up to leave the room again but stopped by the door. "Oh, by the way, Mom is cooking breakfast. Think you'll be coming this time?"

"Yeah, I'll be right down, Alice." I said with a smile, then as she started to leave, I remembered something she said. "Hey, Wait! Alice, I'm not going on a week long trip with you! Its not going to happen so just forget it, alright! NO, not happening!"

I could hear her giggling as she rushed down the hall and bounced back down the stairs. She thought she could rope me into going with them if she snuck it in with everything else, forget that. I wasn't going, not to another trip like that. I figured now was as good as time as any, to go and get ready for the day. I grabbed my things and heading to the bathroom. It didn't take me too long to shower and dress before I was leaving my spare bedroom. I started walking towards the stairs when something grabbed my arm and suddenly spun me around, my head went spinning and my balance failed. I stumbled and thought I was going to hit something but strong arms wrapped around me and held me up, I was stable again. Of course, it was Edward standing in front of me, smiling.

"Sorry about that." He whispered with his wide grin still in place. "I didn't mean to trip you up like that and all."

I couldn't help but smile back up at him. "Umm, hi." I said, still a little dizzy from the spinning and everything. "Its alright, I probably would have tripped on my way down at some point."

He laughed softly. "Probably, … are you still mad at me?" Edward asked and I watched as his smile fell ever so slightly.

"Why, … why would I be mad at you?" I asked confused. "Its not your fault that I trip over everything, Edward. Its what I do."

"I meant for last night." Edward said simply. "I didn't mean to ruin the whole night and make you so upset. If you're mad then I can understand that but if not, then can we tell everyone about us?"

My head must have been still spinning, cause I'm pretty sure he was trying to blame himself for what happened last night. "Edward don't be ridiculous, you didn't do anything wrong. I over reacted to nothing so its ok, really. … And, umm what exactly are we going to tell everyone about us? … Are we dating now or not?"

"Um, well … only if you want to date me, Bella?" Edward said as he suddenly let go of the grasp he had on me.

"Of course, I want to date you." I told him honestly. "What happened last night wasn't your fault, Edward. It was my fault for getting so, … so carried away. Really, everything is fine now."

"Really? … Are you sure, Bella?" Edward asked again but this time he was smiling again so I was happy. "You still want to be my girlfriend and everything, you aren't mad at me? Really?"

I smiled at his childlike disbelief. "Yes, really. I'd be happy to be your girlfriend, Edward. I would also be happy to tell anyone that you want to know. So, lets start with your family at breakfast."

"Hey, lets not leave that up to me. I'd like to tell the world." Edward joked with a soft chuckle before leading me down the stairs, hand in hand we walked into the dining room.

Everyone was sitting around the table, waiting for Edward and I to join them. As we walked in, Emmett and Jasper were talking about some sports game while Rose and Alice were talking about that stupid trip that I would not be going on with them. Esme just walked in with the first huge tray of food, everything smelled delicious as always but everything stopped when we walked in. The conversations turned silent and everyone's eyes were now on our hands as we both walking in the door way. No one said anything or even looked anywhere but our hands, I looked up at Edward but he just smiled and lead me to my chair. The whole time he never let go of my hand and somehow that kept me sane, I wanted someone to say something, anything at this point.

"SO, … is it super glued to you or did she loose a dare?" Emmett said teasing Edward, probably to break the tension.

"Emmett!" Esme chided him while Edward glared at him. "That was not very nice, … now tell your brother you're sorry."

"What? … I thought it was funny." Emmett said acting all innocent and all, Esme wasn't buying that though. "OK, OK. … Alright, Sorry Edward I didn't mean to make it sound like Bella was forced to hold your hand. I'm sure there is some sort of explanation for his … odd behavior."

This caused an up roar around the table. Everyone else started laughing. Emmett's booming chuckles came first and raised into full on laughs. Alice was snickering at first but soon she was gasping for breath because she was laughing so hard. Jasper, at least, tried to control himself at first and was doing well until Alice was in tears from crying so much, he lost it then. Rose looked around and rolled her eyes at first but soon even she gave a little giggle at the jokes. Esme did not find it very funny and Edward and her were both fuming at Emmett now. My face, however could not have been redder at the time. I thought I was going to run screaming from the room but then Edward's hand gently squeezed mine and I saw him take a deep breath, like he was going to speak.

"ALRIGHT, that's enough!" Edward fumed at them all. "Bella and I are dating now and if any of you have a problem with that, then TOO BAD! We have both put up with all of you and I would think that you could give us the same consideration."

"Well, I for one, couldn't be more happy for you both!" Esme said as she smiled at Edward and I then glared at the others.

"Oh, come on Bro. You know I was only kidding." Emmett said as he tried to wipe away his tears. "You know, I'm happy for you and all but how many chances would I get to use that joke? I had to take it while it was there in front of me. I love a good joke!"

"Just make sure, you treat our little Bella right!" Jasper said as he cleared his throat and calmed his laughter down.

"Yeah, … I mean, it was only a matter of time guys." Alice said as she calmed down. "Besides, Edward would never do anything to forces anyone to do anything they didn't want."

"Umm, … OK. Esme can we all just eat now?" I asked desperately trying to get out of this awkward mess and get the attention off of me and Edward, I was feeling really embarrassed.

"Of course, Bella dear." Esme said as she went to get the rest of the food, it wasn't long before everyone was eating.

Everyone stopped talking and joking about Edward and I, we all just ate our breakfast and talked quietly about other things. Alice and Rose, mostly Alice, tried to beg me to go on that shopping trip with them but I really didn't want to go. It was going to be a week long trip and I just didn't feel like shopping that long, especially since I just got together with Edward and everything is still so new. Everything is still so confusing and difficult right now, but Alice said that if I went then her and Rose could give me a few tips. I still didn't want to go but Alice pulled out her sad puppy face and well, when Edward said that it could be fun, I had no choice. So, Alice was happy and plans were being made. Alice, Rose and I were all going to take this week and go for a very long shopping trip, hit as many malls and little shops as we could and talk all about dating and boys and anything else to torture me. Emmett and Jasper soon started talking about going on a long hunting trip, since us girls wouldn't be around but Edward didn't want to go with them. He decided that he wanted to stay around the house to just hangout and relax until everyone got back from their trips.

"Then its all settled. The girls will leave out first thing tomorrow morning and so will Emmett and Jasper." Alice said after we all got done eating and helped Esme clean up a little.

"This will be perfect!" Emmett said as he lead the way out of the room and into the living room. "Edward, you sure you won't get lonely with no one around to play with?"

"Yes, Emmett. I'm sure I'll be fine." Edward said back.

Emmett was probably trying to set Edward up for some sort of joke. He was always trying things like that on people and judging from how disappointed he looked at Edward's answer, I was right. Edward just chuckled and replied that he was able to read Emmett's mind by now, it was a brother thing over the years. After a moment or so, the boys got all excited and rushed off to get everything ready for their hunting trip. Alice and Rose decided that I was needed to pack for our trip so that left Edward and I, alone in the living room. He smiled up at me from his spot on the couch, everything had happened so fast that I had barely made it into the room. I was walking past one of the many chairs when Edward reached out and took my hand to pull me down to sit beside him. He made sure to pull me down as close to him as possible and then wrapped his arm around me so I was now leaning against him. I was giggling the whole time and when we were both settled he reached out for the remote but instead of finding something he wanted to watch, Edward handed the controller to me.

"Watch anything you'd like, Bella." Edward said simply.

"Its you're house, you know." I said confused. "You can watch whatever, you'd like. I don't really mind anything."

"Oh I know, but I gave it to you." Edward answered with a smile. "Besides, I'll mostly be watching your reactions anyway."

I blushed again but quickly turned the TV on to find something, anything to set my attention anywhere else. I didn't know why my reactions were so fascinating to him but I always caught him watching me more than he ever really watched the TV. I found some, early morning cartoons, from back when they were still good and all. Cartoons today just aren't the same and it really sucks. Edward and I mostly just stayed there, watching TV and talking simply about nothing that really matter but it was nice all the same.


	14. Ch14 Unwanted Conversation

Ch14 Unwanted conversation

Edward's POV.

So, Alice and Rose are going to take my Bella, _it feels so great to be able to call her that_, out for a whole week of shopping while Emmett and Jasper are going to camp and hunt. This all leaving me, home alone … to wait for them to bring my Bella back. They all left out this morning and I was already going crazy. I went back to bed, trying to sleep the day away but I couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep even an hour. I tried watching TV but there was nothing good enough on without Bella here with me. Dad was at work and Mom left to do some shopping for the house. While they were gone I decided to pass the time by cleaning, I started in the living room and got through the entire house … and then I only killed about two hours of the day. Mom usually kept the place pretty spotless, with everyone's help that is. I couldn't believe how bored I was getting but I knew I'd have an even worse time if I had gone with Emmett and Jasper, I could just imagine the jokes.

…

It was barely five o' clock on my first day without Bella and I had nothing to do. … How was I going to survive the week? I wasn't really sure if I was going to make it or not, but I was going to try. I didn't want to ruin her time with her friends just because I couldn't stand not having her with me. That was going beyond selfish and a whole new level of jealousy that I just wasn't ready to admit to yet. I thought about just simply calling her, to check and see how things were going but then I would hang up because I didn't want to hear Alice yelling at me on the other end to get a life, or something. I finally decided to go for a walk, there was plenty of day light out and walk would be nice, or a drive would be better. Yes, I will go for a drive, just to get out of the house for a little while.

**Edward note for his parents**:  
><em><br>Hey, Mom and Dad.  
><em>_Went out for a drive, the house is too big today. I'll probably be back in a while but not sure when. I have my cell if you need me and my key if I stay out too late and you don't want to wait up. Everything is fine, probably just going to the mall or something.  
><em>_Love Edward._

After I wrote my letter I left it by the door for them to find. I walked out to get into my car and decided that walking around a mall might be just the thing I need right now. It should give me plenty of things to occupy my mind to get through the day. Of course, that also meant that the closest mall was in a different town. I had a little bit of a drive to even find the closest one. Which was fine with me since I have nothing else to do, so I drove. The mall didn't seem all that busy, not too many cars around but that was better for me. The less people the quieter the place would be. I walked in through one of the main stores and was greeted by two of the sells ladies, both had big and bright smiles; most likely fake but they at least made a great effort to appear happy to help. I simply told them I wasn't interested and continued to walk. The mall wasn't all that big but its was certainly not the smallest I've seen, and trust me, … with Alice; I've seen many malls.

…

I wasn't walking the mall very long when I noticed someone I recognized, which wouldn't have been a bad thing today; if it weren't for it being the one person I hated most in this world. _James_, … he used to go to our school but he got kicked out because of his bad behavior. Good thing to, _that guy got on my nerves_ and his girlfriend, Victoria was always hitting on other guys. He claimed it was because he liked feeling jealous all the time. … _He was a freak so it could very well have been true_. I wanted to duck into the first store I could to get away from him seeing me, but it was already too late. I saw his grin as he looked and saw me, James started walking towards me and I cursed myself for wanting to come to the mall today, of all the days I could have.

"Edward, … long time now see." James said as he came closer, as if we were old palls; which was far from the truth.

"James. …" I said simply and tried to walk past but he grabbed my arm and lead my in the other direction.

"What's your hurry, come chat with me for a while." James said with a grin as he continued to lead me to a little hidden spot in the mall, it looked to be an old unused sitting area in the back.

"What do you want with me, James?" I asked rolling my eyes, I did not want to deal with him even if I was bored enough to go crazy.

"To talk. We haven't seen each other in forever." James said and his stupid, irritating grin grew wider. "How's the family and friends … Emmett and Alice still dating the Hale twins? OH, and how is that little Bella girl doing? I think I've missed her the most. Out of everyone at that school, she was the most interesting, don't you agree Edward? And, she's not bad on the eyes either."

I took a deep breath, I didn't want him talking about her. "James, I'm in no mood to chat with you and leave Bella alone. My family and friends are of no concern to you."

"Ouch, and now I'm hurt. Didn't you think of us as friends, Edward?" James said faking that he had feeling to hurt. "After all, I was very good friends with Bella so her well being is of my concern. I'm sure the poor dear, just went crazy missing me."

"Don't flatter yourself. Bella was only nice to you because she's nice to everyone." I told him with my own smile now. "Its only in her nature to be sweet and caring, even to the most low some of creators; like you James. Besides, don't you have Victoria or did she finally dump you for someone she deserves?"

His wide grin smirk slightly shrunk into a lesser grin. "No, she's still my girl. Best I've ever had really, more like the perfect go to girl as is would be." James said still as confident as ever. "But, one can't just be satisfied with just that. No, a guy like me, … well I need to surround myself with lost of beauties to keep myself happy. Besides, Bella wasn't nice to everyone. I seem to remember her telling off that Newton kid from time to time."

"Just keep your distance from Bella." I said sternly, I had had enough of this conversation and was ready to leave.

"Hold up now, … do I detect a hint of jealousy?" James said with a glint in his eyes, I wanted to tell him no but I couldn't. "Are you and little Miss Swan a couple now, Eddie boy?"

"Don't call me that and its none of your business if we are or aren't." I told him and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Well, it would be nice to know." James said simply and I could see the plan forming in his mind, I wouldn't like this. "After all, that's kind of why I'm so close to town. I wanted to find my little chocolate klutz and if she's single, I wanted to see if she'd run off with me. I'm sure I could show her a great time."

I was furious now. "You will have nothing to do with Bella." I said forcefully. "You, … stay away from Bella, don't even think about her in any kind of sick and twisted ways. Just leave her alone."

"So, you do like her." James said smiling now. "Does she like you back or are you still the sad little body guard?"

"If you must know, Bella is my girlfriend now." I said with gritted teeth, I didn't want this conversation to go any farther. "Stay away from her because there is no way she would get mixed up with you, even if she wasn't dating me. Leave her and all of us alone."

"I see, … well doesn't that make things interesting." James said mostly to himself and I didn't like the sound of this at all. "Well, if you are dating her … what's she like?"

"THAT'S IT!" I said fuming now. "James just leave me and Bella alone. I'm not talking to you about this any more. I won't stand here and listen to you talk about her in this way. Bella deserves much more than that. You sick, twisted freak. Everyone knows you got kicked out of our school because you were a total jerk!"

"No, … I got kicked out of school because I was Bad Ass, and the school didn't think my behavior was good enough." James said and he acted as if that didn't make him sound even worse. "Besides, I didn't even say anything bad about Bella. All I asked was what she's like, I mean, you must have been with her by now? Right, so tell me how good she is?"

"I'm not going to disrespect her in that way, Not with you or anyone else. NOT that it is any of your business but I would never treat Bella as if she were some sort of object as you would." I told him forcefully and I was very close to punching him if he didn't move out of my way and soon, like very soon.

"So, … you two have never…? Oh that's rich, Eddie boy!" James was really getting on my nerves and I just wanted to get home as soon as I possibly could now.

"James, … if you know what's good for you then you will get out of my way and leave me and everyone alone." I explained to him.

"But come on, are you telling me that you haven't even given it a little though?" James asked, clearly not getting the point. "Tell me the truth, you've thought about it a lot haven't you?"

"I would never disrespect any women as you would." I said through my teeth. "James, get out of my way, I'm leaving."

"Oh but Edward. … You forget one little thing." James said as I started walking past him once again. "I know exactly where you and Bella both live. I also know she spends more time with your family than her own and I know she's gone for the whole week. She's on a shopping trip with Rose and Alice."

How the hell did he know any of that? … That little freak had to be spying on al of us, or getting his girl to do it for him. Victoria used to do all of his dirty work for him and most of the time, she would even take the blame for him as well. It was like James had this poor girl under his spell and nothing could change her mind about him. I've always felt bad for her but in the long run, its her fault for falling for someone like him, someone that doesn't even care for her. There was one point, when Alice and Bella both tried to talk some sense into her but nothing seemed to work. She didn't want help because she claimed she was in love with James. I can't possibly imagine why anyone would fall in love with him? I was walking out to the car when something did occur to me. When I was talking to Bella the other day, in my meadow with her. … She had been acting so strange and said some things, I was so confused at first but what she was trying to tell me was that she wanted to be more. More than what? … just dating, well what did that mean? I was driving back home when I remembered the ending to that night, just before we left the meadow. I told her I'd be anything for her, I told her that I would do anything for her.

**Flashback**:

_We were talking in the meadow together about us. We were talking about what everything was going to mean for us now._

"_I'd like you to make me, your's Edward." Bella said simply and she looked me straight in the eye, she was shinning now._

"_Anything you say, Bella." I replied simply and lifted our hands so I could once again kiss the back of hers. "It would be my honor to call you my girl friend, Bella but you realize this mean I can buy you anything I want … without reason or complaint?"_

_I expected her to smile, make another joke, to glare playfully at me or something like all that but she didn't. Instead, she quickly sat up and turned so she was, once again, sitting in front of me. Bella was looking very shocked and confused but I'm sure I looked the same. _

"_It was only a little joke Bella." I explain quickly but she shook her head at me and pulled her hand back so I couldn't bring her back over to sit with me again, __**what did I do wrong now**__?_

"_I'm sorry but … is that, is this __**all **__you want to do?" Bella asked and she sounded … hurt? "I mean, I say I want you to make me your's and you call me your girl friend? __**REALLY**__, Edward?"_

"_I, … I don't think I understand." I said hesitantly, she looked to be on the edge of tears again and I couldn't take that. "Was that wrong Bella, … should I have said something else, done something?"_

"… _Umm, uh no, Edward. I'm sorry it was nothing." Bella said softly after staring at me for a really long time._

_**End Flashback**._

At the time, I had no idea what Bella could have been thinking but what if James was on the right track? … _As much as it was killing me to think_, what if it was something I hadn't even given thought to yet? I didn't want to think about what James was asking about but what if Bella was trying to ask for more from me? Bella could have meant that she wanted me to make her mine in another way, I could have kissed her? … Something that I have been dieing to do since, well since I first realized I loved her. I was just afraid that it would be taking things too far too fast and I didn't want to do that to Bella. So, … what if that was what she meant by '_more_'? She could have just told me so, but she didn't. Bella just told me to forget everything and that we would talk about it all later. With everything that just happened, all I wanted to do now was get back home and as far away from that freaking jerk as possible. I also wanted to call Bella even more than I did before, how did he know she was gone with the girls for the whole week? _Spying punk_.

…

I had been driving my car back to the house, still thinking about what happened at the mall today. James had really pissed me off but he got me thinking about other things as well. I wanted to talk to Bella as soon as I could, not just because missed her but because I wanted to fix whatever was wrong fro the other night. I wanted to make Bella as happy as I can possibly make her. I needed to call her at this point, I just needed to hear her voice and know that she was alright. I knew that she hated shopping but that she could use this trip to relax as well, but I just needed to talk to her and soon.

I pulled out my cell, it rang twice. "Hello, … Bella?"

"Edward? … Is everything alright?" her voice instantly came from the other end and I smiled uncontrollably. "Is something wrong, or did you need to talk to Alice maybe?"

"No, … I needed to talk to you." I told her honestly. "I don't mean to interrupt on your trip with the girls but I've missed you, Bella. I just wanted to hear your voice and I wasn't going to ruin your trip but then something happened today. I ran into someone at the mall. Its really not important right now but how are you doing?"

"Umm, I'm ok. Alice and Rose are having a great time and I'm surviving as best I can." Bella said a little hesitant. "What happened at the mall?"

"It was really nothing." I explained unwilling to say more but she was silently waiting for me to explain, I had to tell her if only to get her talking to me again. "Alright, well I ran into James and for some reason he started talking to me, it was nothing. He just really got on my nerves and I found out that he's been spying on us all."

"That's awful." Bella said disgusted as always. "I'm so sorry that you had to deal with him again Edward."

"Its ok, really Bella." I said simply. "I'm on my way home and honestly I feel much better now that I've talked to you. I know its barely been a day but I've missed you so much."

"I missed you to, Edward." Bella said and I swear I heard the other girls aww in the back ground. "I wanted to call you all day but I figured you'd be relaxing and didn't want to bother you."

"I'm always happy to hear from you, Bella. Give me a call anything you want." I explained with a smile at the thought of her missing me as well. "You know, I'm always here for you whenever for whatever you need me for. Call me anytime you want."

I could practically hear her smile. "I'm glad to hear that Edward. I can't wait to see you face to face again." Bella told me.

"I feel the same way, Bella." I agreed. "Hey, how would you like to go on a date with me? I can plan the whole thing while you're gone and you can pick a day when you come home. I'd really like to plan something special for our first date."

"I'd like that Edward." Bella replied. "You can plan everything for the day after we come home, if you'd like."

"Don't you want a day to rest or something, I know you hate shopping?" I asked thinking that she must already be tired.

"Maybe one day but a night out with you will be restful enough for me." Bella answered back happily.

"I'll start planning for the second day that you all return, then. Everything will be perfect, Bella. You'll see and I promise nothing too fancy or overly expensive for our first date." I told her because I also knew how much spending money on her bothers her.

"Thank you, Edward." Bella said thrilled. "I really appreciate that and I'm so happy that we can be together now."

"I am, as well Bella." I said and couldn't stop smiling to myself. "Bella, one more thing. … I love you so much. Come home soon ok, cause I really just miss you. I'm almost home, goodbye Love."

"I love you to, Edward." Bella told me. "So much and I'll see you as soon as I can convince these two that shopping is over. This could take a while but I'll do my best. Goodbye, I love you!"

We hang up our phones and I still couldn't stop smiling as I started walking inside the house. I had no idea what time it was or just how late it could have been but it was really dark outside now. I was sure that Mom and Dad would have gone off to bed by now but they were sitting in the living room, watching a movie together. They were still the cutest couple that I have ever met. I admired their love for each other and had always hoped to find a love like that for myself. Now that Bella and I are together, I hope we could be just like them, that we could love each other and stay together.

…

I wasn't sure what I was going to do with the remainder of the week but it was sure to be the longest week of my life. I could go out and find the boys but really, what fun would camping be? All I would be doing the whole time is complaining how much I miss Bella so it would only ruin their good time. I couldn't do that to my brothers and I just didn't feel like leaving when Bella would be home in about six more days, that is unless Bella complains too much about all the shopping and the girls come back early.


	15. Ch15 Road Trip

Ch15 Road Trip

Bella's POV.

We hadn't even gotten done with the first day of this shopping week and I was wanting to go back home. NOT because I wasn't enjoying my time with the girls but because I had been missing Edward like crazy and I had this feeling that something was wrong. Alice and Rose just told me to suck it up and buy a new outfit, the _eternal shoppers_! We just stopped to rest for the fifth time when my phone began to ring, it was Edward and I was wondering why he would be calling. I asked if anything was wrong but he just told me that he missed me. Of course, I was pleaded to hear that but I could also tell that something was bothering him. He told me about meeting James at the mall and talking to him. Then something about James spying on us all but not much else about that. James had always bothered Edward and the rest of us but I hadn't thought about him since he left. I wonder what really happened at the mall that had upset Edward so much. … I was also wondering how I was going to convince Alice and Rose to stop shopping early.

"Can't we just go home a little sooner, a week it just too long girls?" I begged again as the girls dug into their dinners.

"No Bella. … This is very important." Alice said around a mouth full of food. "Besides, you're dating my brother, you owe me shopping time before you stop talking to me and all that."

"WHAT? … Alice that doesn't even make sense." I said with a huff as I slid into the back of the chair. "Why on earth would dating your brother stop me from talking to you? Rose is dating Emmett and you both still spend every day together!"

"YEAH, but not at the beginning of our relationship. Back then we we're very busy … Umm getting to know each other." Rose said with a sly grin and I could see Alice's tiny glare in her direction, … _was it really that bad with those two_?

"I still don't see why I'M being punished for what THEY did?" I said stubbornly. "I just want to go home a few days early, not like tomorrow or anything just maybe a five day instead of seven day trip. Is that really suck a bad thing to ask for, girls?"

"Well, she did do a lot of shopping … with almost no pushing today Alice. We seem to be winning the war so lets let her have a small victory battle?" Rose said after a moment of thought.

"Aww, but that will cut down our shopping time too!" Alice pouted and she even crossed her arms and did that lip thing. "I wanted to go shopping, I finally convinced Jasper to let us go and you want to take me back home early!"

"Alice, I didn't say you both HAD to come back with me." I explained … I didn't even consider that they would want to.

"OH! … Well, Then I guessss _you _can leave early." Alice said as she made it seem like such hard thing for her to say.

"Oh come on Al, you remember the first time being away from Jasper when you started dating. Cut Bella some slack." Rose said with a giggle at her antics and continued to eat.

"FINE! … BUT, no less than five days!" Alice suddenly stated and he held up her hand with all five fingers spread out, in my face to stress her point on the matter. "FIVE, got it?"

"YES, oh of course Alice." I said thrilled to have even a few days until I can get back home to Edward and to our first real date!

We continued eating and then went on to the next line of stores to finish off the day's shopping. When these girls going for a week of shopping they really mean a WEEK of shopping. Very small breaks, long enough to eat and when the time comes sleep and freshen up for more shopping. This is crazy, and it had only been day one! By the time we got to the store that Rose called our first finally destination, _meaning the first stop that ends the day but NOT the last shop we will be at_, I was completely drained and just ready to pass out at any minute. We found the hotel we would be staying at and this place was huge, not that I should have been surprised but I was. The girls, however, seemed right at home here and got straight to unpacking clothes for the night then making plans for the next day of shopping. I didn't want to hear anymore so I grabbed my stuff and ran off for a much needed, relaxing shower. By the time I got out, Rose and Alice were done planning and had started watching TV and having a small conversation.

"So Bella, … tell us when Edward is taking you on you're first real date?" Rose asked as I came to sit with them in the luxurious living room-type area.

"Well he asked if he could plan it for the day after I come home so he's probably working … _Hang on_, **how did you know that**?" I started to explain but then I was caught off guard.

Rose and Alice both looked at each other and shrugged before turning back to me and saying, "He's a traditionalist and Edward is the best at planning dates."

I slightly frowned. "I hadn't realized Edward had been on any dates before." I thought about how I could have missed that news.

"No, no silly." Alice said with a huge smile. "Edward hasn't been ON a date before … he just always helped the other guys plan our dates. Edward is much better at planning the perfect dates so when it's a really important one they run to him for help."

"Oh, … I see. I guess that would make sense then." I said and instantly felt better, after all I hadn't heard of him dating anyone and he would have definitely told me if he had.

"WELL, I'm sure it will be great!" Alice said suddenly in her hyper happy voice and clapped her hands together once. "But, now its time to get some sleep before our next day of ALL-DAY-SHOPPING! Come on, girls we are going to need our rest!"

"Oh joy, Alice." I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, which must not have been enough because they both glared at me jokingly before jumping on me and tickling me to death!

Some how an all out war broke loose and we we're soon laughing and ticking and some how ending up in a pillow fight. It wasn't very often that we could just hang out and act like a group of silly little girls. I have to admit that even I was having a great time tonight and the shopping wasn't really all that bad. … Missing Edward on the other hand, was just about killing me. The night time only made it worse because I couldn't sleep so I was just laying there, thinking about him and wishing he was hear to help me sleep. I wanted to so badly to call him, just to talk for a minute but I was so sure he would be sleeping already so I didn't want to.

…

I had closed my eyes for the hundredth time hoping for sleep but only to open them again when my phone buzzed next to me. I was getting a text message as … I turned to look at the time and saw it was close to midnight. Who would text me at this hour? When I picked up my phone I saw Edward's name and instantly smiled. Edward must be having trouble sleeping as well.

_Edward's text to Bella:  
><em>_Sorry, please don't wake up. I Just want you to know I love you, goodnight, Bella._

Of course, I had to message him back now and its not like I was sleeping or anything. I was a little worried cause he never got enough sleep so he shouldn't be up right now but I was more than thrilled to be able to talk to him now. Even just in a text.

_Bella's text to Edward:  
><em>_It's ok. I wasn't sleep'n. I love you too, Edward!_

_Edward's text to Bella:  
><em>_Wow, what are you doing up?  
><em>_Is something wrong Bella?_

_Bella's text to Edward:  
><em>_No, calm down. I just couldn't sleep.  
><em>_What R you do'n up?_

Sometimes it felt really silly when I was texting. I sort of hated text lingo but I was still drained from my long day and it was just shorter sometimes to use at least a little. Although, I noticed that Edward never did … not even once. As far as I could remember anyway, I could be wrong but being Edward probably not.

_Edward's text to Bella:  
><em>_Oh ok. I'm sorry you can't sleep.  
><em>_Can I do anything to help?_

_Bella's text to Edward:  
><em>_U didn't answr my ? And no, I'll be ok._

_Edward's text to Bella:  
><em>_I couldn't sleep … I miss you. : )  
><em>_I could call and sing to you Bella?_

Edward would always sing for me when I was having trouble sleeping, we never shared a bed before that one time but if I couldn't sleep at home, I'd call him. Sometimes I ended up waking him in the middle of the night but he always told me it was ok then he would sing until I fell asleep. Edward said he would leave the phone on because sometimes I would talk in my sleep for him.

_Bella's text to Edward:  
><em>_I miss you, Edward.  
><em>_But you should be sleeping, I'll be fine._

_Edward's text to Bella:  
><em>_I'm going to call you.  
><em>_I want to help you sleep._

_Bella's text to Edward:  
><em>_U don't have 2. I can sleep._

_Edward's text to Bella:  
><em>_No, I'm going to call.  
><em>_I want to talk to you anyway, Please?_

_Bella's text to Edward:  
><em>_Um ok. If U want._

Not even a minute later my phone went from buzzing to ringing, Edward was on the other end and I could practically hear the smile in his hello. I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my lips either and that was just from hearing his voice again.

"I love you so much, Bella." Edward said after a short pause and then he paused even longer … "Bella I, … I don't want you coming home early. Is that ok? I just don't think you should."

"What?" I asked surprised and the smile fell. "Why shouldn't I come home? … Alice and Rose told me I could leave after five days, Edward. What's wrong, did something happen?"

He sighed on the other end. "NO, … calm down. I just, … I just don't think you should come home so soon." Edward paused again but this was much shorter. "Hang on, five days; how did you manage to get out of the trip so soon anyway?"

I instantly blushed. "I … well I begged and … umm complained about missing you … a lot." I explained then snapped out of my embarrassment and remembered what he was saying. "Why don't you want me to come home Edward? You said it yourself that you miss me and that you wanted me home soon. What happened?"

"Bella … please calm down." Edward said simply but I could hear _something _in his voice. "Nothing really happened, I just think waiting a little longer would be best. I do miss you and I do want you home with me again, I just don't think four days is a good idea. Umm … just have fun with the girls for a while."

"Edward something is wrong, just tell me please?" I tried to beg with him because I was started to get worried, why didn't he want me home all of a sudden … _unless it wasn't so sudden_?

"No really … its nothing ok." Edward said again. "Bella, I didn't mean to upset you I just think you need some more time with the girls. Honestly that's all, so please a little longer?"

"Edward …" I could barely breath without it coming out shaky. "Edward if you, … if you don't want me home, that's ok."

"Oh Bella, … Oh please don't cry! That's not it I swear." Edward's voice gets really soft and I can just see the crease between his eyes. "Bella, I want you hear, trust me I do. I just don't want you around town right now. I want to be with you, I swear! I'll even drive up to see you right now, if you want me to!"

"Then tell me why I can't come home?" asked as the tears rolled down my cheek, I thought he wanted me but I guess that just wasn't true … _I wonder how long he would have lied for me_?

"Don't … please Bella, don't cry." Edward whispered. "I'll come to you, Ok? Just tell me what town you're at and I'll be there as soon as I can. Please Bella just stop crying. I'm so sorry Bella!"

"N no, no, … Don't worry about it." I stuttered through the tears. "I, … I don't need you to come. … I'll be fi, f, fine."

I was about to hang up, I was seconds from full on crying. I didn't want to know why he had put up with me for so long, I just wanted everything to stop. Edward didn't need to deal with me like this. I wanted to hang up and save him but he said something and I froze.

"No Bella, Wait … Please." Edward begged as I sniffled and started softly sobbing now. "Bella please, its James. Just don't cry anymore, James is in town and I just don't want him around you."

"What? …" Was my brilliant response, I sniffled again.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." Edward pleaded. "_I'm so, so sorry_! I didn't want to tell you but I just don't trust him and since I saw him at the mall its been bothering me. I know I said I wanted you home and believe me, _I do_. I just don't want you in town as long as that freak is around. Please, please don't be upset with me, _please_?"

"…" I couldn't speak, I laid there staring blankly at the ceiling unable to understand what just happened.

"Bella? … Bella, are you there?" Edward asked and he was sounding so panicked that I snapped out of my daze.

"Umm yeah, sorry." I muttered softly, eyes completely dry. "Edward, I umm its ok. James isn't that big a deal, he's a jerk sure and even cheat but he can't hurt us. Edward I want to come home, please calm down. I want to be with you, Edward please?"

"Bella, …" Edward said hesitantly, drawling my name out a little. "Bella, I'd much rather come to you. Please we will still be together but I'd feel much better if you didn't come here."

"Alice and Rose wouldn't like that very much." I tell him as I glance over at the two of them still fast asleep.

"I'll explain about James, they will understand." Edward insisted and I could here things moving around on his side of the phone, what was he doing … _throwing things now_?

"What are you doing Edward?" I asked when something loud hit.

"I'm getting things ready." Edward said distracted. "What town did you say you girls were in now? I'll drive all night if I have to. … Do you think it will take that long?"

"Edward, … Edward?" I asked as the sounds grow farther and farther from the phone. "EDWARD! Are you even listening to me anymore, you can't drive now. It's the middle of the night?"

"Even better, I'm wide awake. It will be cooler than driving in the during the day and I'll make less stops at night." Edward said stubbornly … _still not listening to me_.

"You can't drive here, not this late at night!" I hissed into the phone, trying not to wake the girls.

"You know what? Its ok, I have that tracker on Alice so I'll just GPS the location." Edward spoke, mostly to himself now as he continued to move things around and ignore me.

"Edward, JUST LISTEN you c … Wait?" I suddenly stopped as something caught my attention. "Edward, did you just say you have a tracker on Alice? What the hell is with that, Edward?"

I finally heard him stop moving things around. "Oh, well when she was little, Alice liked to pretend to run away." Edward said simply, _as if that wasn't crazy enough_, he continued. "I finally went out and bought her that necklace she always wears, it has a tracking device inside and I can just put the location from that into my GPS to find out where she has you. So see, its simple. I've be there soon."

After only ten minutes of yelling, silently, at nothing I was finding it hard to remember why I was trying to stop him. … OR even why he was coming out here in the first place. All I know is that, Edward was getting into his car and driving all the way to come see me! … _ME_? And I was trying to stop him, had I lost my mind? I tried to focus and remember what was wrong that he was coming here for. … Had something to do with home, … _I think_? I know I didn't want to shop anymore and that I was really missing Edward but Alice said I could go home in just a few days. Why wasn't Edward willing to wait just four days? … _He doesn't want me home_, OH yeah, he doesn't want me home because James is in town and he's stalking us. _How did I forget that_!

"Edward, Alice won't like this." I whispered as I heard his car start, he was already on his way and I couldn't stop smiling.

"Alice will get over it, I miss you and I don't want any of you coming home. Not as long as James is around." Edward said and I could hear the irritation start slipping back into his voice.

I had to get him to stop thinking about James. "I really miss you too, Edward. And I really can't wait to see you." I said hoping it will distract him at least a little.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. You all must have made many shopping trips today because you're really not that far from home." Edward said clearly reading his GPS thing and sounding distracted and happy, _I was glad to hear that the irritation didn't last_. "Its late Bella, you should be sleeping. Sorry for keeping you up, Love."

I didn't know what to say, that was the first time he had called me that. I knew Edward loved me but it was different when he used the word like a name, like a pet name. I usually didn't like the idea but this made me smile. I was so distracted that I didn't even notice that he had hung up his cell. I finally turned my end off and laid back my head, I had a huge smile on my face and I was happy. Edward would be here soon and everything else didn't matter.


	16. Ch16 The First Night Alone

Ch16 The First Night _**Alone**_

Edward's POV.

I had gotten packed and in the car with barely any thought and I know I had been basically ignoring Bella on the other line but I just needed to get going. I couldn't stand the thought of James, in town and just waiting for Bella to come back home. He was stalking all of us but I knew he was mostly after her. James had always stressed his interests in Bella but thankfully she didn't show any in him. Bella was a smarter person than that and James was just a, … a jerk. Ok, well I want to call him much, much more than just a jerk but I'd rather not curse over nothing. And in truth, if he wasn't trying to go after Bella, the girl I love, then he would be just nothing to me. Of course, he IS trying to go after Bella and that bothers me more than anything else, more than the stupid flirting Mike does with Bella or any of the other guys in school.

…

I had spent most of the drive ranting about James to myself. It helped to pass the time, even though there really wasn't that much time, but mostly it helped to calm me down before I got too close to Bella and the girls. The last thing I wanted was to show up all pissed off and angry over some jerk like him. … However, what I did want was to see Bella. I missed her so much and it was driving me crazy, I wanted to hold her and just tell her that I loved her, again and again. … I know it seems foolish but I know Bella is the only girl for me and I want her to know that's how I truly feel. Then again, … maybe that is foolish because what if she doesn't feel the same way? I make too much of a big deal out of everything and she could get overwhelmed too quickly, I'd feel horrible if I did anything to push her away from me. I'm trying to take things slow, like I know I should, but sometimes its just too hard with her.

"Because you love her too much." I whispered to myself in the silence of my car as I sat just outside the hotel they were staying at.

I instantly smiled at the thought. I did love her … _**a lot**_. I just wanted to be with her and make her happy, that doesn't seem so bad? BUT, I really don't want to mess things up so I'm going to have to take things slower, much_, much slower_. I don't want to push Bella into anything that she isn't ready for or even anything she doesn't want. After all, _I still have no idea what she expect from this relationship _so I don't know what she wants yet. I walked up after finding the right room and knocked quietly on the door. Bella answered it and let me in with a smile but when she moved to the side so I could pass I pulled her back to me. I know I said I would go slower, and _I swore to myself that I would_, but I couldn't help hugging her to me and holding her in my arms just now.

"I missed you Bella." I whispered in her ear as I held her.

I could feel her cheeks warming with blush. "I … I missed you too, Edward. I'm glad you're hear." Bella whispered back as she wound her arms around me and pulled herself closer to me.

"Ahhem." Someone said in the back ground and I quickly released Bella to find a very unhappy looking Alice. "What the hell are you doing here? … THIS IS GIRLS WEEK!"

"Oh relax a little Alice." Rose jumped in as she walked out of the bath room area. "You know, in your first year with Jasper, if he showed up you would have been all over him."

"Alice, I have a reason for coming here." I tried to explain quickly but my reason was slowly slipping from my mind knowing Bella was just a few inches from my reach.

"Yeah, … well what is it then?" Alice snapped at me.

I took a breath to clear my head. … _James_. "James in back in town, our town and I don't want you girls coming home too soon." I explained and I quickly glanced over at Bella and back, she was the real reason I came but also to keep her from James.

"Edward, James doesn't care about US" Alice said gesturing towards Rose and herself. "AND Bella doesn't care about him."

"But he cares about _her_." I said sharply and I was still amazed at how frustrated that fact made me, I really did loath him.

When I had turned to talk with Alice and Rose that put Bella more behind me than anything but I could still feel her standing there. She was listening to the conversation and she was feeling tense. I could feel her move closer to me, without looking I felt her moving around me. Bella stepped forward and she reached out to squeeze my hand. … I felt calmer as soon as her hand touched mine.

Alice sighed. "Edward, … you know James isn't going to get close enough to her. We are always with her and he'd die before any of us let him hurt her. Try to relax would you?" Alice told me.

I didn't want Alice to kick me off, that would suck. "I missed her Ally. … I have every right to worry about her but I also miss her." I whispered simply and hoped that she would take mercy on me.

Alice huffed and plopped on the couch. "Yeah, well your little _non_-princess missed you too." Alice said glaring slightly at Bella behind me, _she must not have liked shopping enough_.

I chuckled softly. "So, I can stay then … right?" I asked as I walked into the room, still holding Bella's hand.

"Yes, I guess." Alice sneered at me as Bella and I sat on another couch over by Alice's one. "She's no fun right now anyway. Bella just won't shut up about missing you!"

I could see Bella blushing this time and it was just as adorable as ever. She was so cute as she started sinking into the couch and sliding closer to me so she could hide her face in my side. I didn't want her to feel so embarrassed but I also didn't want to loose that beautiful blush from her cheeks, she really is amazing.

"So, … what now? Edward coming shopping with us or are we just handing her over and going shopping ourselves?" Rose asked as we all started to relax and get comfortable.

"Ohh, He can have her." Alice said giving in completely. "Besides all the good shops from this point on are being renovated or upgrading so we wouldn't get much of anything anyway. Also, all this mushy 'I miss you' stuff is making me miss Jasper. Rose call Emmett and tell them to meet us half way to somewhere cool!"

"Somewhere cool, … got it Alice." Rose said as she got up and pulled out her cell, she walked into the other room. "Hey Emmy, Alice told me to tell you…" She shut the door behind her.

"Alice, … I'm really, really sorry about the trip." Bella pleaded with her. "You don't have to cancel the whole thing, though. I'm sure we could work something else out, really."

"You don't have to worry Bella, its alright." I reassured her because I knew Alice would get over things soon enough but then I saw the gleam in Alice's eyes and thought maybe she should worry.

"No, Edward is right. Don't worry about it Bella." Alice said with a huge smile. "In fact, _I'm glad _he's here and the trip is over. Now you and Edward can have the _whole _room to yourselves for the _rest of the week_. After all we paid for the week and someone should use it, right _**Bella**_?" Alice asked raising a eye brow at her.

Alice was a good cheat, she always got back at people. "Alice grow up … Bella didn't do this. I'm the one that called her and I'm the one that drove all the way up here so don't blame her."

"No, she's right. Alice and Rose _already _paid for this huge thing and it would be unfair to just let them waist their money like that. But Alice wouldn't you and Rose like it better, I mean, when the guys show up where will you all go?" Bella quickly came to defend me for no reason and tried talking Alice out of all this but _that's not what Alice wanted _and Bella was clueless otherwise.

"Oh no, Bella. It would be much fairer if you and Edward stayed here for the rest of the week." Alice said and now she was smile directly at me, _she knew I'd understand her twisted mind_.

Rose came back out and made everything more final. The girls would be meeting the other guys somewhere fun and so that left Bella and I in this room for the next six days, together … _**alone**_. Alice knew I was trying to behave and well she didn't know just how hard I was struggling but she knew that I was. Alice was being purely mean with this because she also knew that Bella had no clue what she was planning in that evil little mind of hers. Bella and I would be staying here, and I was happy to have her to myself but I was also fearful. This place was huge and spacious, it was more like a huge apparent set up then a hotel room because it was all one floor of the building opened up and then slip into separate areas. Expensive for most people, normal for my family, especially Alice. There was probably three or maybe even four bedrooms with their own bathrooms, two sitting areas with big screen TV's and of course a decent sized kitchen. Alice didn't tell Bella this but our family owned this part of this hotel. Esme and Alice had designed the place and Emmett even helped build the rooms. Alice liked the shopping in the area and Esme wanted to new project so they found this place to work on. The room is our families to use whenever and however long we wish so of course Alice could say it was already paid for. She was punishing me for ruining her trip.

"Have fun you two!" Alice called as she and Rose left the main sitting room and closed the big door behind them.

It was just me and Bella now, left here for the next six days. _Alone_, … with this huge place and absolutely nothing to do. I'm a total dead man now, and the worst part was that Alice knew I was dead. She was doing this too me on purpose and not that I didn't want to spend time alone with Bella but how was I going to behave with this. With nothing to do and no where to go but this big luxurious place. I was trying go slow and not pressure Bella so that's just what I was going to do … _no matter how __**alone **__we were_.

"So do you want to go to the bed now?" Bella asked suddenly as she stood, pulling on my hand and trying to lead me away from the couch … to one of the big bedrooms.

"Wh. What?" I stuttered … _yeah smooth Edward_.

Bella giggled slightly. "I asked if you were ready to go to sleep now." Bella said smiling as she pulled me into one of the rooms. "I mean, neither one of us got any good sleep last night. This place has really comfy beds and I'm sure you're tired."

"Oh, … right. Sure, sleep sounds good." I said dully as I allowed Bella to pull me by the hand into the room and over to the bed.

She stopped just beside the bed and froze. "Umm, Do you want …" Bella hesitated but was trying to say something so I waited for her to get her thoughts together, while I tried to do the same with mine. "Do you want to take this room Edward or should we just share one of the beds? I mean, if you want and all."

Oh now I get it, she was trying to figure where we would be sleeping for this little nap. … Heaven knows I should say we take separate beds in separate rooms but I didn't want to let her go. Plus I had no idea why but I seemed to sleep better with Bella in my arms. She was so warm and soft and … it just helps me to relax knowing she's with me and that she is safe. I couldn't think of a safer place for her to be than sleeping in my arms. BUT, I'm trying to be good and I'm trying to go slow so making her sleep in the same bed is probably not a good way to start this being good thing.

"Umm, well you can have this one Bella." I said unwillingly but knowing it was for the best, I want to do thing right. "I can take the one in the next room. That way if you need me I'll be close by."

"Oh, … ok Edward." Bella said and … _was that disappointment I heard in her voice_, I should not want to smile at that but I couldn't help myself. "If that's what you want."

No, no its not what I want … _but its me being good_. "Ok, like I said, I'll just be in the other room." I told her again fully intending to let go of her hand and leave the room but I couldn't move.

I tried, I really did try but for some reason I couldn't drop her hand. I couldn't bring myself to let her go and leave the room. I told myself I should and I tried to make myself do it but I couldn't. After so long of just standing there, doing and saying nothing Bella was the one to make the first move. She first looked from me, to the bed and back to me, before Bella pulled on my hand just enough so she could reach the bed to sit down on the edge. She must have been tried and I'd been making her just stand there, _well how crappy do I feel_? I can't believe how stupid I'm being!

"Bella, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you standing there for so long." I said quickly as I was really kicking myself now.

I really should just man up and leave before I really upset her, I started to turn to leave but Bella, still holding my hand pulled back and I stopped to see what she needed. Bella wasn't looking up at me anymore, she was staring at the ground so I couldn't see her face. Her hair had even fallen down around the front of her so I couldn't even see a glimpse of her expression, so I know she was either embarrassed or hurt. _I almost hoped it was the first one_. She was swinging one leg around in a circle off the side of the bed and I was about to ask her what was wrong when she finally looked up.

"I'm fine Edward. … I just wanted to say goodnight." Bella said softly and she smiled up at me. "So, goodnight, Edward."

Bella let my hand go then and I let it fall limp at my side. I was free from her touch now and suddenly I had free will over my limbs again. I moved the hand she was hold back up and lightly brushed her cheek with the back of my hand. She smiled slightly and leaned into my touch, which only make me smile. I then took her hand in mine and carefully brought it up to my lips to gently place a kiss.

"Then goodnight, Love." I whispered back and released her hand.

I could tell that something was bothering her, maybe she was just really tried but when she looked passed me at the door, I thought that she might have been waiting for me to leave. SO I did. When she looked back at me I wished her another goodnight and turned to leave the room. She didn't stop me this time but then again _she wasn't holding my hand _either. … That had to be the key, though.

…

I quickly rushed off to the room closest to Bella's and crawled into the bed. I was more tired than I thought I was and assumed I'd fall asleep quickly. The bed was very comfy, _like Bella had said they were_, which really didn't surprise me much. I was however, very surprised at how sound proof the walls seemed. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't even hear a single sound coming from Bella's bed room. I guess in some cases that would be a good thing, however, in this case it kind of worried me. What if something happened and she was in trouble and I couldn't hear? But then again, she was probably just sleeping and its not like her screaming wouldn't be heard through these walls, … they couldn't possibly be that thick and sound proof. … _Could they_? No, of course not. No one in my family would have designed them to be that unsafe and of course no one could get in without some alarm going off and THAT I would hear. So I should relax and sleep.

"I should sleep." I whispered to myself, into the silence after an hour of just staring at the ceiling. "Sleep. Sleep. Sleep."

I had no idea what time it was when I got here and I have no idea what time it was now because there was no clock in this room. I'm sure it was because this was usually just a spare room that no one used but the lack of time was not helping me sleep. … Funny, it was usually looking at the clock the kept me wake. I was temped to run out and get my cell from the sitting room but it was dark and I really didn't come here often enough to know my way around.

"Edward." I heard a soft whisper just outside the door before it slowly started to open and a small shadow tiptoed inside.

I quickly sat up, which was a mistake because she jumped back against the door frame. "Bella, what's wrong." I whispered but then panicked and rushed out of bed to see if she was hurt. "OH, crap Bella, are you alright. Did you hit you're head? I'm sorry!"

"No, no. No I'm fine Edward." Bella said as I got over to her. "I didn't mean to wake you, I'm sorry Edward. I should go."

I grabbed her arm before she could turn back and leave. "No wait. Bella you might have hit your head just now." I told her and honestly I mostly just didn't want her to go. "Now, tell me what's wrong. Bella why aren't you in bed sleeping?"

"I, I umm. I couldn't sleep." Bella said hesitantly. "I tried and I was tired but I just couldn't fall asleep. I don't know why I came in here to bother you, though. I'm sorry Edward. Goodnight."

She tried to pull away but I wouldn't let her. "No, I don't think so Bella. If you hit your head then you could be really hurt so you're going to stay with me. Besides, you came in here to see me anyway, right?" I said with a smile and lead here to the bed, _so much for trying to be good and letting her sleep alone_ and all. "Plus I wasn't sleeping either, so you can come keep me company now. We can not sleep together or maybe I can sing for you to help you sleep better. After all I'm sure you're head isn't that bad is it?"

"Umm No, I mean, my head's fine and I … umm yeah ok." Bella said simply and slightly confused as I helped her climb into the bed I was just a moment ago laying in myself.

Once Bella was settled in the bed, I crawled in after her and wrapped her securely in my arms. Bella cuddled up with me as if it was the most natural thing for her to do and I smiled. I also felt better knowing she was here with me and not in a completely different room. I had no idea what could have happened to her while she was in that room but with her here I know. I know she's safe and I know … well _now I know she's sleeping_. I looked down and sure enough her even breaths I felt had told me she was asleep. I felt myself yawning and slowly relaxing more and more, soon I'd be sleeping just as peacefully as Bella was. _With her here I'll sleep_.

…

I woke up well rested and completely relaxed. Bella was still fast asleep and peacefully dreaming when I opened my eyes. This room was one of the ones in the middle of the building so there wasn't any windows leading to the outside to tell me the time but I didn't care much anymore. If I didn't feel like I'd been fully rested, I probably would have tried to go back to sleep but instead I found myself fascinated by Bella. I found that I could spend hours just watching her sleep peacefully and silently in my arms. It was a wonder to me to listen to her even breathing and to feel her steady heartbeat all around me as she slept. I would never grow tired of watching Bella sleeping next to me, wrapped safely in my arms.

"Hmm Edward." Bella's voice whispered into my ear, I could tell she wasn't really awake and it wasn't the first time I'd heard her sleep talking but it was the first she used my name. "_Edward_."

There wasn't anything that could have made this morning any better. All I wanted to do was lay in this bed for the rest of the day, watching Bella sleep and hearing her whisper my name as she dreamed. Knowing Bella loved me was amazing, having her agree to be my girlfriend was pure joy but hearing her dreaming about me, … ME, was just absolute heaven. Dating and loving are choices we make while we are awake, dreaming is something our subconscious mind conjures for us to enjoy or not.


	17. Ch17 The Kiss

Ch17 The Kiss

Edward's POV.

I _could have _stayed in bed all day, if Bella hadn't woken up and reminded me how important eating was. Which was kind of funny since I hadn't really eaten anything the day before but I hadn't noticed how hungry I was until Bella sat up and said something. I quickly offered to get up and go make breakfast for us both but, of course, Bella had to refuse me this little pleaser. Bella wasn't the type of girl that was easily spoiled, she never allowed me to do anything for her even before we were dating. I'm just going to have to work a little harder on being sneaky and stuff. So, Bella and I walked hand in hand out into the kitchen. It was fully loaded with whatever you may have needed or wanted but Bella went and picked up a box of cereal from the cabinets.

"Cereal Bella? … Really?" I asked sarcastically as she moved away from me and towards the frig for some milk.

"What? … Its quick and easy." Bella defended.

"I have this huge kitchen to cook in and you're going to insult me by eating a bowl of cereal just because you don't want me to cook for you?" I asked all drawn out and over the top, she laughed. "Bella put the box down and tell me what you want to eat!"

"Fine." Bella huffed while laughing a little still, she sat down at the table. "Just cook some simple eggs or something."

"Eggs it is, then." I said smiling happily as I walked over to the frig to get everything I would need.

"Edward." Bella said warningly. "I said simple."

"Yeah, yeah. OK simple eggs." I said waving my hand in her direction, this lack of spoiling my girlfriend was getting old.

I starting cooking the 'simple' eggs as she requested but planned to wake up early tomorrow and cook her a good breakfast then. She can't tell me no if she is in bed dreaming. It didn't take long before Bella's and my breakfast was done and I was sitting across from the most beautiful angel ever. Bella had always hated when I would sit and watch her eat in the morning after she stayed the night with Alice and Rose but I couldn't help myself; she was so fascinating to me. It took me a very long time to realize I was in love with Bella but once I did, I guess I always had been all along.

"Stop staring at me like that." Bella said suddenly. "Its making me nervous. What, do I have food on my face?"

"Of course not, Bella." I said with a soft chuckle. "I'm sorry I was staring again. I can't help it, you're too beautiful for your own good. I could watch you all day and never get bored."

She thought about that for a minute. "You know, Edward. That can seem a little creepy sometimes." Bella said teasingly and I couldn't even laugh because she was kind of right. "Stalker-ish."

I was left thinking about how I'd watched her sleeping last night, yeah that was a little stalker creepy. "You don't know the half of it." I mumbled to myself as I continued to eat my food.

"What was that, Edward?" Bella asked as she took another bite and smiled up at me again.

"Oh, umm. Nothing." I stuttered out and took a drink.

Bella was still giggling at me as she finished the last few bites of the breakfast I had made for us. She was so perfect even her giggling was adorable. … _I was hopelessly falling for her_. Which if you ask me, isn't a bad thing at all. I was thrilled to be in love with Bella, after all, she is my best friend and has been for a very long time. Yeah, I'm terrified that I'm going to do something totally stupid and she'll end up hating me forever. I'd loose the women I love and my best friend all at once but _NOT being with her is worse_. I think, at least I mean, it feels like it would be. But I can't imagine my life without Bella at all. What if I did loose her?

"Edward, … are you ok?" Bella said slowly as she reached out and took my hand that was resting on the table now.

"Huh, … Oh yeah. I'm alright." I said snapping out of my thoughts, my face must have shown my fears. "I'm sorry I was just thinking about, … about something unpleasant is all."

She smiled at me. "Well then, you shouldn't think about things like that." Bella said and squeezed my hand gently.

I smiled back at her. "Yeah, you're right, Bella." I told her as I pulled her hand up to my lips and carefully place a kiss on the back of her hand before letting our twisted fingers rest back on the table.

She was staring at our hands now. "Edward … Can I ask you a question?" Bella hesitated slightly. "Mind you, I'm just curious so its not a bad thing or anything."

Now I was the curious one. "Of course, Bella." I tell her. "You can always ask me anything you want. Anything at all."

"Why do you always do that? … kiss my hand, I mean." Bella questioned and this time no hesitation.

This took me by surprise and I really didn't know what to say. "Umm, well I. … I don't know why." I said …_which was almost a complete and total lie_; I did it because I want to kiss her but I'm too damn scared to actually try to kiss her lips.

"Oh, ok." Bella said simply as she finished her drink. "I was just wondering because its kind of sweet, really."

"Oh, sure." I said hoping that my face wasn't turning red or anything, I ended up looking around anyway; _just in case_.

"So, umm what did you want to do today?" Bella asked after a while and I was calm enough to look back at her again.

"Umm, well we can do anything you want." I said simply not caring as long as she was with me.

"Alice brought like a ton of movies with us and the TV has a DVD player in one of the sitting rooms?" Bella said but it sounded more like she was asking a question than telling a statement.

"Sounds great." I said simply as I stood and lead Bella by the hand into the other big sitting room, the one with the DVD player.

Once I got into the room I stopped, I wasn't sure what to do now. I could lead Bella to one of the many couches or chairs in the room but what would she be comfortable with? Did she want to sit in a chair by herself or on the couch next to me? … Did it even matter to her or am I just making a huge fool of myself, just standing in the door way? Probably the last one but what was I going to do? OH, I know. I let go of her hand and told her to go pick out what ever she wanted to watch. While I watched Bella move over to the shelf of movies, I moved to sit on the big couch across from the TV. This way I was already sitting on one side and that gave Bella the choice to sit anywhere she wanted. She could sit as close or as far from me as she wished and I didn't feel like I was forcing her.

…

She didn't take too long to find a movie and put it in to start. Bella didn't say what it was as she came across the room and sat down in the middle of the couch. She was close enough to hold hands again but that was if we both reached out a little bit. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. I was hoping she's sit a little closer because I kind of wanted to hold her while we watched but I'm glad I gave her the choice. I was trying to be good and if she didn't want to sit that close to me then I'm glad she didn't. As the movie started I could tell it was a good choice, it had action and romance but it was also funny and of course, the music was pretty good. About ten minutes in, Bella went from a fully up straight position to pulling her feet onto the couch and leaning slightly in my direction. This wasn't enough to really bring her closer to me … like close enough to hold but it did make holding her hand a lot easier. I slipped my hand down and gently ran my fingers over hers but she was the one that twisted her hand to grab mine. I could glance over at her and see the smallest of smiles but her eyes never left the screen. From then on, I found myself more interested in watching Bella's expressions from watching the film than actually watching the movie myself. _She was so entrancing_. Bella reacted to every part of the movie as if she was really there, living the moments with the character. It was amazing to watch.

…

About half way through the movie Bella had adjusted her legs again and this time she even scooted closer to me, … _close enough so that she was leaning against me and her head was lightly on my shoulder_. I quickly took our intertwined hands and wrapped my arm around her pulling her just a _little _closer to me. This of course, made watching her expressions a little harder but _I was happy all the same with the way things ended up_. I finally had Bella wrapped in my arms, her head was on my shoulder and the movie was actually getting to a good part so watching wasn't really horrible. There was even this happy little love scene, not Emmett's kind but, just a sweet little kiss scene and well, _I couldn't help myself_. I leaned down just enough to kiss the top of Bella's head, sweet and simple. It wasn't anything that was too much so I was still being good; at least, _I really hoped I was being good_. It was hard to tell.

"That was a really good movie." Bella said stilling leaning against me as the credits came rolling up on screen.

"Yeah, one of my favorites. Good choice Bella." I agreed and not making any move, hoping just to stay here a little longer.

"Do you want to watch another one?" Bella asked as her free hand moved to gently make shapes and patterns on my arm.

I'd be happy with that but it would mean having to move and or let got of Bella. "Um, Yeah that would be great." I answered anyway.

"Ok, cool." Bella responded but neither of us made any move to get up or leave the positions we were in right now.

After a few moments of no one moving, I decided I had to do the right thing and at least go put in another movie. Maybe Alice brought some sort of box set of some seasoned show. That would be long and I'd have plenty of time to hold Bella. But before I could even move to try and get up, Bella huffed softly and made a move to pull away from me. At first I thought she was mad at me for just sitting there doing nothing. Then she surprised me completely by crawling over and sitting sideways on my lap. Her back was resting against the side of the couch with her legs stretched out on the other side of me; where she used to be sitting. Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and twisted to face me. I was in such a shock that I didn't even move, my arms lay limp on either side of me and I just stared up at her. Wondering what she was doing now and what was going through her mind.

"Edward." Bella stated suddenly with a smile. "Why haven't you kissed me yet? … I mean, really kiss me. Do you just not want to or is there something wrong with me that you don't want to tell me about? I can handle it, I just want to know."

Again I was shocked. … "I umm, what?" I stuttered brilliantly again as my brain tried to catch up to this reality. "Kiss you?"

"Yes, why not Edward?" Bella asked again.

"Uhhh, well I, umm." I couldn't speak so I took a deep breath and tried again, this time wrapping my arms around her. "Bella, I want to kiss you. … I umm, I just thought that … well I have to be good. I shouldn't try to rush things with you and I didn't want to, well you know, force you into doing something. … _Maybe_?"

Bella leaned back a little and stared past my head. "Oh. … I guess that makes sense." Bella said thoughtfully, then she looked back up at me and smiled. "So, you really want to kiss me?"

"I _really _want to kiss you, Bella." I answered honestly and gently squeezed her close to stress my point. "BUT I have to behave and take things slow. _I have to_, otherwise I'll be no better than those creeps that used to _flirt _with you and _fawn _over you in school!"

Just thinking about those lowlife jerks made my anger flare and surprisingly enough, _my jealousy _at them for being able to even talk to her back than. Of course, I mean, … _I did talk with Bella _in school but _as best friends_. We had no idea that we even liked each other that way back then. But things are different now and _I'm looking back on all the things that I missed out on or could have prevented_, if only I had realized sooner how I felt.

"Well, what if I told you that I wanted you to kiss me?" Bella asked while looking directly into my eyes, taking over my full attention once again. "Edward, would that change things?"

I wasn't sure if that would or not, I don't know all the rules. "Umm, I'm not sure Bella." I said honestly. "I guess if you wanted me to then its not me forcing you. That doesn't sound like a bad thing so I assume it would be ok then. … _Maybe_?"

"Well, I want you to kiss me Edward." Bella said after a few moments of silence, and _then it dawned on me_.

"You want me to kiss you … _NOW_?" I asked more out of surprise than anything else, I had no idea that's what was going on and with _my brain suddenly taking a vacation_, I was left in the dark. "OH!"

Bella suddenly looked down at her lap now. "Well, if you don't want to Edward, its ok. Really, you don't have to." Bella whispered out softly and I could tell I had hurt her feeling.

"NO, no Bella. I'm sorry." I said quickly trying to snap my brain back into action. "Bella I didn't mean it like that. I was just … well I was surprised because I didn't think you felt that way."

"Oh, ok." Bella said simply but still wouldn't look back up at me again, _I had really screwed up this time _… Great!

Then another though came to me. "And … and Bella I wanted our first kiss to be special." I said quickly and took a hand to try and lift her chin so she would look back up at me. "Bella, I love you but all this is so new to me … I don't want to mess anything up."

"Really." Bella asked as she reluctantly allowed me to lift her chin up and look back up at my face again.

"Yes, really." I answered strongly. "Bella, I love you and it would kill me if I did anything to hurt you. I don't want to loose you as a fruit or a leaf off my tree. … Bella what I'm trying to say is I love you and I can't be without you so I'm trying to be good and do the right thing but its hard because I really, … _really _want you." I can not believe I just told her all that. _Especially that last part_.

"Oh, …" Bella said much more relax and it seemed she was the surprised on this time. "Wow, … But Edward, it will be special no matter what. It will be because I'll have my first kiss with you!"

"Aww, Wow Bella. That was really sweet." I said smiling and suddenly what she was saying made sense and she was right.

I wasted no time, there was no hesitation. I wrapped Bella back into my arms and pulled her close against me. She took a sharp intake of breath from how quickly I moved but she smiled brightly at me again. Bella wound her arms tightly around my neck pulling her just a little closer. My right hand moved from the small of her back up to just below her hair line on her neck. I leaned forward just enough so our lips gently touched, _nothing too forcefully or too _lingering but it was very sweet. When I pulled back I noticed Bella was slowly opening her eyes and she slightly licked her lips, _an action that my eyes followed intensely_. She lightly touched her lips with the tip of her fingers and smiled, a warm blush filled her cheeks and I smiled back up at her. _This kiss was very special_.

"Wow." Bella softly whispered as she looked back up at me and smiled, her blush still in full force on her cheeks.

Wow was right! It was amazing and perfect and all I wanted to do was kiss her again. … I really wanted to kiss her again but I was still being careful. Just because Bella wanted to that first time, doesn't mean she will every time I want to. I had to be careful and I'd have to ask for her permission, … or at least, _I thought I would_. I really didn't have the chance before Bella leaned down and pulled my face back to hers. She was kissing me this time and it wasn't as short or as careful as when I had kissed her. Which, of course, _I'm certainly not complaining about at all_! This kiss was more passionate and forceful without being too rough. It was absolutely perfect and mind blowing. AND it lead to another, and another. Which lead to many more. … We didn't watch another movie but we did spend a lot of time on that couch. Kiss after kiss after kiss, _I thought I would never get tired of kissing Bella_. After a while though, Bella's stomach was telling us that it was well past lunch time and I felt _horrible _for not remembering to feed her _**again**_. Bella and I went hand in hand into the kitchen and I cooked a big fancy meal, _with her complaining in the background_. I told her she owed me from breakfast and she sort of allowed me to cook after that. She wasn't thrilled but she was happy once she started eating and I was _thrilled _to see her smiling so happily.


	18. Ch18 The Unexpected

Ch18 The Unexpected.

Bella's POV.

After watching that movie I had asked Edward about the no kissing thing. Of course, _I had to get all huffy about it_ but hey, I finally got my first kiss! And it was amazing, much better than I thought it would be … plus one kiss lead to another. Soon _we were making out like crazy_ and it was so great but then my stupid stomach had go and ruin everything. I would have really liked to continue kissing Edward but after tasting his cooking I was happy. Edward really was a great cook and it wasn't so bad letting someone else do the cooking but the clean up was all mine. _I even had to kick him out of the room in order for him to allow me to do it to_. Sometimes Edward and I, both could be really stubborn when we really wanted to be. He won on cooking lunch and I won on cleaning everything up afterwards. _Small victories but still a win_.

"Bella, are you almost done in there?" Edward called from the other room. "It would go a lot fast if you let me help!"

"Fat chance, Edward." I yelled back with a soft laugh. "Just sit tight and pick out another movie for us to watch while I finish up."

"Oh fine!" Edward called back and I could faintly hear moving coming from the big sitting room with the DVDs.

I quickly finished up the dishes and pulling stuff away before rushing out to find Edward sitting on the couch again. He smiled up at me as soon as I walked into the room. He was patting the spot next to him on the couch but a small part of me had enjoyed sitting on his lap a lot more. However, Edward had said he was trying to be good and if I don't help him with that then he'd only blame himself. So, I ran over and sat on the couch next to him but also as close to him as I could get without crushing him. He wrapped his arms around me and took hold of my hand before grabbing the remote to start whatever movie he found to put on this time.

"I found one of Alice's box sets and put that in." Edward said as he pushed the play button. "I'm not sure what it is or anything but it look kind of interesting. If that's ok with you?"

Box set means more than one episode so longer sitting time with Edward hold me, … Yeah, that sounds great! "Yeah that's fine." I simply agreed as I snuggled closer with Edward and rested my head against his should once again. "Its perfect, Edward."

He chuckled softly. "Good, let's watch." Edward said just as the beginning credits started to fly across the screen.

Neither one of us knew what we were watching but it turned out to be a pretty cool show. Something interesting but with twists and turns that made you think; plus it was also really funny. Edward seemed to really enjoy the show as well and I was glad that we could spend the rest of the day wrapped up in each other's arms. When the box set show was over, we just sat around talking. Simple conversation and things just to pass the time because it was starting to get late but we weren't tired yet. At least, I'm almost sure it was getting late. For this place having almost everything it was a little empty of any kind of clock and since we mostly stayed in the middle rooms, there weren't many windows either. It was easy to just forget all about things like time in a place like this.

"So what are we going to do tomorrow?" Edward asked after a while of just sitting in peaceful silence.

"Umm, well I guess we could go out or something?" I said hesitant because honestly I could just stay here like this again.

"Yeah, ok." Edward said simply. "I saw this little place just around the corner. We could just walk there and come back when we're done to watch more movies or find something else to do."

I really like that plan. "Alright, sounds good." I agreed happily.

We continued talking about this and that for a while. Soon enough the long day of nothing caught up to us and it was time to get ready for sleep. After we both rushed off and cleaned up and dressed for the night, I found myself at a loss of what to do again. I know I don't want to try sleeping in a room by myself again, I just couldn't stand how still and quiet this place was. It was way too big and silent for me to focus on sleeping alone. Plus I really did sleep better when Edward was wrapping his arms around me. I knew I would be safe as long as he was holding me. I was standing in the hallway when Edward came out of the other bathroom, looking all clean and fresh. He smiled up at me and I gestured towards the hall of doors, I figured it was his choice tonight.

"I'd rather have you sleep with me from now on, Bella." Edward stated flatly as he came over and held my hand again. "Its up to you, if that's alright or not. But I'd feel better knowing you're safe. I don't want you to do anything just because I want you to."

"I'd like that as well." I replied happily and he lead us into the room I was supposed to be in last night.

I quickly crawled into bed and Edward followed in after me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him. It was a nice feeling having Edward around like this. Where it was just us, alone. Almost as if we were living together and this was how our lives would be if we did, move in together. As if we got a place of our own and started really dating. The thought was really thrilling but at the same time it was nerve racking. What if one day we did start really dating and moved in together somewhere? Would Edward really be able to live with me, with all my little quirks and independent attitudes? How would he put up with me?

"What's wrong Bella?" Edward whispered with his eyes closed as he squeezed me just a little tighter to him. "You're tense."

"Its nothing." I whispered back as I relaxed again. "I'm sorry if I'm keeping you awake. I was just thinking about something."

"Hmm, Kay." He mumbled out and snuggled closer to me as he relaxed farther and came closer to sleep.

Once Edward snapped me from my thoughts, I slowly started to relax and watching him drifting off to sleep was helping also. Edward looked really peaceful in his sleep and somehow that made him more gorgeous than when he was just awake, _If that was possible_. A perfect angel glowing in the dim light that was coming from the hallway from where we left the door open slightly. There wasn't anything else that I wanted to do more in this moment, than just watch Edward sleep all night. But after a while of watching his peaceful face, listening to his deep even breaths, and feeling his heartbeats bouncing off of my skin … I ended up drifting off to sleep. Some where in between deep and dreamless and peaceful.

…

I woke up the next morning feeling well rested and very happy. Which lasted about three seconds before I realized that Edward wasn't in the bed with me. I quickly scanned the room but he wasn't here anymore and the bathroom door was wide open so he wasn't in there either. I scrambled out of bed and almost tripped cause I was tangled in the blankets but I managed to catch myself. I wasn't sure where he would have gone or why so I first rushed out into the big sitting room and he wasn't there. … What was wrong? _Did he leave the hotel_, … if he did how was I going to find him? I ran into the other sitting room, the one with the smaller TV but he wasn't in there. Then suddenly my _brain _decided to wake up and I ended up walking into the kitchen and found Edward, _cooking_.

"Good morning Beautiful." Edward said happily as I sat down at the table to watch him cook. "Did you sleep well?"

"Umm, yeah I did." I responded but my voice was raspy from all the rushed running I had just been doing.

"Are you feeling ok?" Edward asked as he came and put a big plate of food in front of me. "You're voice sounds harsh."

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, I'm fine." I lied trying to sound normal again but it must not have worked cause Edward gave me a very worried look and sat across from me before taking my hand.

"Bella, if something's wrong, tell me?" Edward said worried.

I couldn't look up at him when I spoke this time. "Its nothing, I just umm almost tripped out of bed." I said which wasn't a complete lie this time. "I'll be fine once my heart calms down."

Realization came to his eyes and he looked even more worried now. "Bella, were you worried when you woke up and I wasn't there anymore?" Edward asked apologetically.

"Its really nothing, Edward." I said quickly trying to blow this whole thing off as nothing. "I'm fine, honest."

"I'm really sorry about that Bella." Edward said wholeheartedly and he lifted our twisted hand so he could once again kiss the back of mine. "Truly, I didn't think you'd wake up and worry if I wasn't still laying there with you."

"Its ok Edward." I told him honestly. "It wasn't you're fault, you had no way of knowing that I would be such a worry wart."

"Well, I made a really great breakfast for you." Edward told me as he pushed the huge plate closer to me. "Do you think that makes up for being the most forgetful boyfriend ever?"

I giggled slightly and that made him smile. "Of course you're forgiven. It wasn't even your fault." I told him as I started eating and it was really good. "This is great Edward! Thank you."

Edward really was a great cook and I never allowed him to show that off very often. Times like this, when he sneaks off and cooks all on his own is when I realize just how good he is at this. But of course, _Edward is good at everything_, always has been really. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I hadn't realized just how much I really liked him before. I mean, really … Edward is just so perfect and wonderful. Of course, I would fall for him! _The real question is why in the world Edward would fall for me_? I'm no where near good enough for him but he still loves me. Which I really couldn't ask for more so how could I allow him to '_spoil me,_' as he likes to say? There is no way I could possibly repay him. Edward and I spent most of, _well what we believe is_, the morning sitting around talking and watching a little TV. Hours of just enjoying each other's company and killing time. After a while Edward asked me if I was ready for a little walk so we could go find that dinner he saw on his way in the other night.

"It really didn't look that far but if you'd rather we drive that would be fine." Edward said as we walked off to get ready to go.

"No, walking is fine." I said just before going to get properly dressed, pajamas was fine around here but not in public.

We were on our way out when Edward realized he'd forgotten his cell and keys. I was going to walk back to the room with him but he said since we were at the elevators already, I should just go down and wait in the lobby. So, I went all the way down from the top floor and was standing around in this big open lobby. Waiting, standing around waiting for Edward. It wasn't really that long before I saw the doors to the elevator open but it felt like forever without him. I rushed back over across the room to meet him sooner but it wasn't Edward who walked off. _**James**_, he was the person that I saw and I instantly froze. What was James doing here and why was he smiling at me now? Walking towards me as if I was who he was looking for when he scanned the room. Ok, _don't panic_ … its probably nothing and he probably isn't even looking at me right now. There's at least like ten other people in this room.

"Hey Bella." James said with a grin. "It really has been too, too long since we last seen each other."

Ok, _so I'm in trouble now_. "Umm, yeah." I answered shocked and a little nervous now. "Wh, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, of course." James said smoothly. "Edward told me you went on a little trip with some friends, when I was talking to him a few days ago. Didn't he tell you, I would be looking for you. I'm sure I gave him a message for you."

"Umm, no. He didn't sorry." I said trying to calm down, I mean this was stupid; James would never do anything to me.

I had no reason to freak out this way. Sure, James was a little troublemaker in school but he never did anything or said anything bad to me before. He was almost always really friendly to me. I shouldn't have let Edward's over protectiveness mess with my head like this. James was probably just catching up with all of his old friends and saw Edward so he thought of me. _No big deal_.

"Well, then I'm glad I ran into you here." James said still smiling at me and he leaned against the wall beside me. "I've been thinking about you … a lot lately. I miss how sweet you were."

"Oh, that's very nice of you James." I said much calmer now. "We should really catch up sometime, then. Umm but I was kind of on my way out just now. I'm waiting for Edward to come down."

"Ah, I see." James said and his smile disappeared a little. "Well, I would really like to get together with you. Maybe tomorrow we could talk. I mean, without Edward around … he really doesn't seem to like me much. I'd hate to bother him."

"Oh, umm sure." I agreed simply. "Yeah, tomorrow would be nice. But don't worry about Edward, he's just protective."

"So I noticed." James said smiling again and he even winked playfully at me. "Alright well I'll let you go then. I can't wait for our little chat tomorrow. See you soon."

James then, pushed off from the wall and walked out of the lobby. I was left standing by the wall alone, again. … Thinking about what just happened. I was going to have to find a way to get out of the hotel tomorrow without Edward knowing where I'm going. I didn't want to lie to him but I couldn't have him worrying over this either. I had no idea what I was going to do about this now. Maybe I could tell him I was going out shopping and then after talking with James I could do a little shopping. That wouldn't be a complete lie and I wouldn't feel as bad that way. … Or maybe I'd say I ran into a friend and we were going to hang out for the day. That would also be technically true. Of course, I was a horrible liar and what if he noticed something else was going on? How would I get out of this?

Someone tapped my shoulder and I jumped a little. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." Edward said as I turned around, he was looking at me apologetically. "I'm sorry it took so long. I couldn't remember which room I left them in and that place is really huge to find little objects just laying around."

I smiled up at him. "Yeah, it ok." I said as I took his hand. "So, which way did you think this place was at, Edward?"

He chuckled. "Its this way." Edward said as he started to lead us out of the building and down the street.

As we walked down the road my eyes kept scanning for James. I didn't think he would stick around too close but I also didn't want Edward to spot him around here. Edward would never let me out of his site if he thought James was in town but that didn't seem fair to James. I mean, its not like he ever tried to hurt anyway. For the rest of the school he had this touch guy attitude but he was always really sweet around me so I didn't see the big deal. I also wasn't going to point any of this out to Edward because it wouldn't matter to him. Edward never liked James and sometimes I think he truly hated him … I just never understood why that was exactly.

"Hey you go, Love." Edward said smiling as he held open the door for me. "This isn't our first date though. I want to stress that because our first date is going to be much more special than this!"

"This is still special Edward." I said as we found a table off in the back corner. "I'm hanging out with my very best friend."

"Aww, thanks Bella." Edward said happily as he held my hand on the table again. "Now, you can have anything you want. So, don't be all whinny about me spending money ok?"

I rolled my eyes at him for that but he wasn't wrong. I was going to start complaining soon. I really hated the idea of him spending so much money on me and no just him but all of them. They all wasted money like it came out of thin air whenever they needed some. Like it was nothing more than paper. But this place looked really nice for being such a small quiet dinner. The food smelled delicious and everything sounded amazing. It was almost hard to choose what you wanted because it was all great. Edward of course, made sure to order whatever I wanted and then some because he said we could always take it to go. By the time the waitress came back to get our order Edward wanted half the menu.

…

The food was awesome and the serves was great. The place wasn't all that busy but the waitress was so polite and welcoming. Edward and I both ate more than our share of food and still had leftovers for later. We spent a lot of time talking about fun little memories from our past together and just happily reminiscing. By the time we were getting ready to go, I had all but forgot about the whole James thing and just had a great time. Edward was all smiles and that made it difficult for me not to smile with him. Everything about this day just seemed so perfect and a part of me was wondering how our _real _first date could possibly be any better.


	19. Ch19 Freaking Out

Ch19 Freaking Out.

Edward's POV.

The food was great and the serves was good. The place was not at all busy. Spending time talking with Bella was amazing! Over all everything seemed welcoming. We both ate so much food and still had leftovers for later. Mostly Bella and I just talked about old times and all the fun we had together. We spent a lot of time talking about fun little memories and just happily reminiscing. The whole time I was constantly smiling. Everything just seemed so perfect. Of course, when we were walking back to the hotel I could tell something was bothering Bella. I wanted to ask but she was so deep in thought that I couldn't bring myself to break her concentration. I, however, couldn't make it much longer after we did get back to the hotel and she just sat around, thinking.

"Ok Bella, Please tell me what's wrong?" I finally begged as I sat next to her on the couch, _she was driving me insane like this_.

"Huh, what, … what is it Edward?" Bella asked as she snapped out of whatever thought she was having.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked … well _begged _her.

"Oh, … umm well I was thinking … uh about tomorrow." Bella answered hesitantly, _like _…_ almost too cautiously_.

"Ok, what about tomorrow then?" I asked curious as to why she was trying to hide something from me.

She took a deep breath but then she turned to look at the floor on the other side of her, completely away from me. "I umm I have to go … shopping tomorrow." Bella said softly still not looking at me. "And … I umm don't think you should come with me. I need to go alone so can you, … you know, stay here please?"

Bella was so hesitant and so _unsure _of what she was saying that I knew something had to be wrong. Why would she have to go shopping and why didn't she want me to go with her? What could possibly make her not want me to go with her? … _Unless it wasn't really about the shopping _and just getting away from me. _What if Bella was spending too much time alone _with me and she just had enough? We barely spend four days together so far and she was already at her limits. … For once, I was glad she wasn't looking at me now. _The look on my face couldn't have been very calm_. We both just sat here, looking off with our separate thoughts for a really long time. Neither us of moved or even made any sound. Then suddenly Bella sifted towards me again and I quickly regained my calm composer, which had been lost for a while.

"Edward. … You never answered me." Bella said softly as she looked back up at me.

Like I could tell her no. … _She needed this_. "Of course, Bella. You can have the day to yourself tomorrow, if that's what you need." I answered with a smile but I couldn't quite keep my movements as calm as I wanted, as I got up to leave the room. "Excuse me Bella."

I didn't wait for a response from her, I couldn't. I quickly rushed off into the big bedroom, where we stayed last night. I didn't want to lay down but I just couldn't be sitting around right now. I had no idea what I wanted to do but _I couldn't be sitting_. I started quietly pacing around the room, I couldn't find anything better to do. Suddenly I found myself going over everything I had done with Bella in the last two and a half days. I couldn't really find anything that would tell me what I had done wrong. … Something I did that would make Bella not want to be around me any longer. But, maybe it wasn't what I did … but rather just _being with me_. Maybe Bella couldn't handle staying with just me for more than three days at a time_. Like she was just bored of being around me_? I finally sat down on the edge of the bed and just stared at the wall in front of me. … If that was the case then _**what was I going to do now**_?

"We can never live together." I whispered dully to myself in this quiet and empty room, _my head was going insane now_.

I know we haven't really been dating for that long and everything was all so new to me. BUT I did know that someday, I'd want to take things farther with Bella. … Just how far would be up to her but in my head I'd already seen everything. A life with her by my side and we were happy. … How can that be if she hates being alone with me? _It can't, that's how_. I slowly put my head in my hands as my breathing became difficult and the room started to spin. I was driving myself crazy all because Bella didn't want to spend _one freaking day _with me. _I was absolutely pathetic_! I fell back onto the bed and just laid there, staring at the ceiling now. My feet were still hanging off the side of the bed and this was very uncomfortable but I just didn't feel like doing anything about it.

…

Not sure how long I stayed like this but it seemed like hours before I heard a very low and soft knock at the door. I was feeling very drained and just didn't want to get up to let her in. I also, didn't want her to think something was really wrong so I called out for her to open the door and come on in. Bella slowly opened the door and stuck her head in to look around the room before walking inside. Bella walked over to the side of the bed and stared down at my interesting and uncomfortable position off the side of the bed. Well, _so much for her not thinking something was wrong_.

"Are you ok, Edward?" Bella asked as she watched me.

I took a deep breath, then sat straight up. "No, probably not." I whispered more to myself than to her. "I'll be fine Bella. Umm was there something else that you needed or were you just worried?"

"Oh, uh well its kind of getting late. … I think?" Bella said cautiously and then she looked back at the door and back to me. "I can leave you alone if you'd like. I can see I'm bothering you."

"NO, not at all." I quickly said and reached out to grab her hand before she could turn to leave, _I wanted her here_. "I was just thinking about stuff and well … I'm a little crazy. I'm sorry Bella I hadn't realized it was getting so late. Are you ready to sleep?"

"Only a little tired." Bella conceded as she stared at me.

"Well then come to bed." I answered simply as I pulled her closer.

When I pulled her closer she smiled. Instead of moving so she could get in bed, I pulled her to stand in front of me and wrapped my arms around her waist. She was trapped between not only my arms around her but my legs on either side of her as well. _She couldn't possibly leave the room without me now_. I know Bella wants to spend tomorrow without me and … _I guess _I can live with that but she's not getting away with coming in here and_ NOT sleeping next to me_. Besides, she didn't seem to mind as I held her this way … in fact, she was smiling happily at me now.

She lightly placed her lips to my forehead and kissed me. "Edward, are you sure you're alright?" Bella asked as she placed a few more tender kisses on my cheeks and forehead.

"Better now." I answered honestly as I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of her soft lips caressing my skin. "Are you tired now?"

She simply nodded but neither of us moved. "But I need to know that everything is alright, Edward." Bella told me and her tone made me open my eyes once more. "Tell me what happened?"

I knew what she meant, … why I left the room. "Bella, I'm sorry. I just overreacted, like always." I said with a smile, hoping she would just leave it be and we could go to sleep.

_No such luck_. "To what?" She asked surprised.

"It was really nothing, Bella." I said as I pulled her closer to me once again, hugging her tightly. "I was just … _freaking out_."

"Edward." Bella said softly as she leaned down and wrapped her arms around my neck to hug me back. "I'm sorry, then."

I sighed, she had no reason to be sorry. "No, really. … Can we just go to bed now, please Bella?" I asked just wanting this to end.

She didn't answer me but simply placed one last soft kiss to my forehead and then pulled out of my grasp. I was just about to complain when I saw what she was doing. Bella pulled away from me so she could climb in the bed next to me. I chuckled to myself as we both scooted up to the head of the bed to lay down. It was silly how quickly my mind goes to the worst possibly things. We quickly got all cuddled up and this time, Bella was wrapped up so tight to me. Her head laid softly on my chest and I could smell the sweetest scent coming from her hair. As soon as we were comfortable Bella closed her eyes and almost instantly seemed to fall to sleep. She was so calm and she never seemed to sleep this easily before. I wondered what the difference was and then it hit me, the same thing that changed my sleeping. Laying here with her in my arms defiantly helped me sleep better than ever before.

"Goodnight, Edward." Bella whispered with her eyes still lightly closed, _guess she wasn't as asleep as I thought_.

"Goodnight, Bella." I whispered back holding her to me. "I love you so much. See you in the morning, Beautiful."

I could see her smiling slightly and then it slowly relaxed. She was falling asleep and fast now. … It was so adorable to watch as Bella drifted off to sleep and I could see all the little changes in her reactions. I would watch how all the tension seemed to wash away and when she was completely calm she made sure to have a grip on my shirt. As if she was holding me in place … _like I'd be going anywhere_? But then I thought about this morning, when I'd made her worry by NOT being here when she woke up. I honestly thought I would be done and back to the room before she woke up so I really didn't think about how she would feel to find me gone. I know that if it had been the other way around, I'd be a total mess searching the place for her. Thinking about Bella being that worried and probably even a little scared made me very … _sick_. I didn't want to think that it was my fault that she felt that way. I could feel myself tensing up just at the mere idea of what I'd put her through. When I did tense Bella stirred ever so slightly. I stopped moving in hopes to let her fall back asleep but she was just trying to snuggle closer to me. The light grip she had on my shirt before, grew a little tighter and she squeezed me gently. Even in her sleep Bella was trying to tell me to _stop worrying about this_.

…

The next morning I made sure to stay in bed until Bella was completely awake. I spent most of the morning just watching her sleep, it was so fascinating to me. I know I've seen many people sleeping over the years; family, friends at sleepovers, small children, random people just laying around … none of them have ever really captured my attention like this. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I realize no one else interests me more than Bella. I don't nearly care about any one else's day as much as hers or it doesn't pain me as much to see someone else upset about something. … Even the smallest of things that upset Bella bother me oh so much more because I hate to see her unhappy. I suddenly snapped out of my thoughts when I felt a soft touch to my forehead. Bella had placed her fingertips along the creased there and was then down the side of my right cheek, I couldn't help but lean into her touch. Everything about her made me react.

"What's wrong Edward?" Bella asked gently.

"Its nothing." I said simply, eyes closing to her soft skin touching my face still. "It was just an unhappy thought but its gone now."

"I'm glad its gone." Bella said and her hand fell from my face, I opened my eyes and I'm sure they were filled with disappointment, … she giggled at me. "I'm sorry."

She was still slightly giggling at me so I playfully glared at her and then rolled over so I was pining her down on the bed. She stopped giggling now and just looked up at me, shocked. A part of me was screaming I had to be good and _I was going to be _… but this adorable face she was making was making another part of me very happy. I wanted to be good but being good didn't mean I couldn't have a _little _fun … everyone once in a while. I slowly leaned down and stopped just a few centimeters from her lips, I could feel her sweet breath on my face now. I was also almost distracted by the way she was breathing, very heavy and her eyes were trying to search mine … probably to figure out what I was doing now.

…

Honestly, I wasn't too sure of that myself but I knew I wanted to kiss her … _I really wanted to kiss her_. I also wanted it to be her choice so just before I leaned down and touched her lips to mine I twisted my head and started kissing her neck instead. I wasn't sure what I expected from her, _shock maybe _… but what I got was better than I could imagine. Bella made this soft and beautiful sound and she titled her head so slightly to give me more room to reach her neck. I hadn't planned this very far but I new I couldn't stop now … _I wanted to hear her make that sound again_. I started kissing at her neck again, softly at first. Very light and carefree but the more she moaned and enjoyed what I was doing … the more I wanted to go farther. I wanted to go faster and soon I found myself gently nibbling at her neck. _She definitely didn't mind that_. And I was enjoying myself as well but I couldn't help still wanting to kiss her. I tried to rationalize with myself by thinking that I _was _kissing her but I knew kissing her lips was what I wanted really. So I trailed a line of kissed back up her neck and around her soft and flushed cheek before lightly touching my lips to hers. Or, at least I had planned it to be a light touch. Bella … _and I_, apparently had different plans. As soon as our lips touched she was wrapping her hands around my neck and pulling me closer to her. I wasn't sure at what point I'd let her arms go but right now, _I didn't care_. This kiss wasn't really like the ones from the other day, this was filled with so much passion and need that it seemed almost _desperate_.

"Edward." Bella softly moaned my name in between kisses and her leg gently wrapped around mine, _I instantly froze_.

_**What was I doing**_**? **… How could I be so, so _**stupid**_. Here I am, alone with Bella, messing around on this huge bed with her. _Making out_! Alone with her, in a hotel! Was I insane now? _Had I somehow lost my mind completely_? I wasn't sure but a part of me was thinking it possibly. My mind was sort of on autopilot a moment ago. It felt like I could be loosing my mind but at the same time, it didn't feel as … _bad_ as it should. Which only made things all the more wrong. I couldn't do this, _I want to _but I can't!

"Edward? …" Bella asked as she notices my tension. "Edward, what's wrong? Is everything ok?"

"No, … no its not ok." I whisper back but my voice sounds wrong to me, too hoarse and my breathing was too heavy … _and angry_. "No, I can't do this. … I shouldn't be doing this!" I was yelling at myself internally and externally now as I climbed off of Bella and started pacing around the room like the mad man I was now.

"Edward? …" Bella said softly as she looked up at me from her place still on the bed, her shirt was covered in wrinkles from where I was leaning down against her; _I hope I didn't hurt her_?

I couldn't really think straight anymore. I was pacing the room and pulling at my hair trying to get a grip on my thoughts again. What had just happened? How could I even think about doing this when I know that I shouldn't have? Bella was here with me and we were completely alone … I shouldn't have let us stay in the same room together, at least not in the same bed! She'll probably hate me now, … after what just happened sinks in to her, _she will hate me_! She will want to leave and never speak to me again and then of course, _**I WILL HATE ME**_! How could I have been so stupid?

"Umm, you should go Bella." I said suddenly and not stopping my pacing, not even looking at her now. "You had shopping or something, right? _Yeah_, you should go do that … _now_."

"Umm, …" Bella started but she paused, I didn't. "Ok, Edward …_I'm so sorry._" She mumbled something at the end but I couldn't understand and was too frazzled to ask right then.

I didn't stop pacing or even arguing with myself as she got up and left the room. Bella quickly rushed past me and closed the door softly behind me but I barely noticed any of those things as I continued to go over what I just did. … I ruined everything and I had no idea how I was going to fix this. I couldn't be around her now … I had to stay away _But how the hell was I going to do that_? Its not like I can break up with her, not that I even wanted to! I also can't leave her here, completely alone in this hotel AND I can't even take her home right now because that FREAK _James _in still in town … waiting for Bella to come back from her trip! I finally found myself too tired to pace around frantically anymore and collapsed on the edge of the bed, my head went straight to my hands. I was completely at a loss and feeling hopeless now.

"I'm so screwed!" I mumbled into my hands and all energy left my body in a complete and total rush. "Completely _dead_!"

I fell back onto the bed and that was where I stayed for … well _I have no idea how long I stayed in this horrible position I was now laying in_. Seemed like hours from the amount of pain it caused to my back but I couldn't bring myself to move. I _deserved _the pain I was in right now because all of this was entirely my fault and I was going to suffer because of this! What's worse is, I almost did something so horrible that I can't even _believe _myself. _I was trying to take advantage of the one person I'd never wish to hurt_. I spent most of our time together, even just as friends _TRYING _to keep her safe and happy … then I go and do _THIS _and _ruin everything_!


	20. Ch20 Murder? … Intriguing Idea

Ch20 _Murder_? … Intriguing Idea.

Edward's POV.

I can't believe I had been freaking out about what happened with Bella and told her to leave! I became so unstable that I made her leave the building without even a second thought to ask where she was going or even how late she'd be gone. Not that I really had any right to ask her these things anymore, after what I tried to do. Now I have decided that I can't trust myself around her anymore. I can never be alone with Bella and must never kiss her again. Or even get too close to her for fear of loosing what little control I have left. If I have any to spare at all. It doesn't feel like it after what happened. Bella must really hate me now, _I hate me now_! I spent hours laying around just thinking about how horrible I am.

…

Hours passed and then I realized just how many hours were passing and I haven't heard a word from Bella since she run away from me. I was starting to get worried, we weren't in a bad part of town but still anything could happen to her and it would be because of me. I stood up quickly and rushed over to grab my cell phone only to find hers sitting on the table right beside mine. She left it behind because I had been rushing her out the door, I scared her and she left without her cell phone. What if she was in trouble, how would I know if she couldn't call for help? Would she even still call me? I wasn't sure but I hoped she'd at least call someone. … Doesn't matter if she doesn't have a phone, I guess. I grabbed mine. just in case she found a pay phone or something and rushed to get out the door. It was getting too late and she wasn't back yet, shopping was all she said she had to do today. I had to find her because I just knew something was wrong. I just knew she needed me, even if she didn't want me around her. Bella was in trouble.

"I have to go find her." I told myself as I rushed out the door and down the stairs, no mood for the slow elevators right now.

By the time I got down into the lobby I realized two things. One, I was on the top floor of a very tall building …stairs were a dumb idea and two, I had no idea where to even start looking for Bella. She could have gone any where and be anywhere. … How was I going to find her in this stupid place? That however, didn't stop me from running out the door and onto the streets. I started by looking around for any sign of her, when that didn't work I started asking people walking by. I had a stolen picture of Bella in my wallet so I was showing that to everyone I talked to. Ask if they seen her or know where she might have gone to get away from her psycho boyfriend. No one around or outside of the hotel had seen her so I started rushing up and down the streets, looking anywhere she might have gone but I found nothing. I was starting to panic.

"Sir, have you seen this girl?" I asked desperately to another man just walking past and I was beginning to feel hopeless.

"Well, yes." He told me surprised and so was I.

"You have? … WHERE?" I asked desperately.

"Well she was in my book store for most of the day but then they left and I'm sorry but I'm not sure where they went." The man told me and I felt like I was going to fall over, who was she with?

"She was with someone, Sir, are you sure this is that girl?" I asked feeling desperate and completely terrified, who could it be?

"Yes, that's the lovely girl I saw today. She's very kind and she loved my little store. They stayed for hours, just reading." He told me happily, clearly not getting that my life was crashing. "The man she was with lead her away about a half hour ago but like I said, I'm sorry but I don't know where they went."

"She was with a man?" I asked but not really to him just out of surprise, had she met someone while walking in town?

"I'm sorry, I really have to be going now. I hope you find your friends before it gets too late." The man said and then walked off, leaving me with my thoughts and his echoing words.

Find your friends, … friends? I don't even know who she is with! Bella is off running around with some guy and I'm freaking out because I think she is in trouble. … But its me that's in trouble. Bella was with someone else and she spent the whole day with this man. Was he the whole reason she wanted to go out today without me. Who could she have possible met out here and when? On top of everything else that I had done to ruin my life, I was now loosing my girlfriend and best friend to a guy I don't know. I had to keep looking for her, … them. Once I find her then we can figure everything out and if she doesn't want me … _then so be it_. I'm sure I could always just go find that nice little rock to hide under … or bash my head in with. Whatever makes her happy.

"Bella! …. BELLA!" I started running down the streets again, calling her name and showing off the picture of her.

It was well after dark now and still I haven't seen or heard anything else about her since that book guy. I wanted to scream and just … I just wanted to find her. I had to know she was safe and I couldn't just stop looking until I found her again. Even if she hates me and wants nothing to do with me again, I have to know she's at least safe. I have to find her and know who she's with.

"Yeah, I saw her." Some lady told me. "She was running down the street and almost hit me a while back. I swear she looked really freaked out and when I asked what was wrong, she just told me she had to get back. I don't know where _back _meant but I saw her run into so hotel. It was big and I just hope she is alright."

I was instantly relieved and terrified! "OH Thank you. Umm thank you so much. I have to go though." I said as I rushed back to the hotel, hoping to find Bella sitting there … waiting for me.

By the time I got back to the hotel I was completely breathless and had no choice but to take the elevators up to the top. Which was much starter than taking the stairs anyway because there were just too many levels not too. Going down had been hard enough even without all the running before hand, going up would be killer. I ran out of the elevator and straight to the room but couldn't bring myself to go in right away. What if she wasn't there? Or what if she was and didn't want to see me … what then? I took a deep breath and decided I would deal with whatever came as long as Bella was on the other side of those doors and safe. I walked in to find complete darkness and then I rushed around looking through every room. I finally looked in the only other bedroom that we hadn't even been in before and found Bella sitting on the edge of the bed. Relief washed over me for a second before I noticed she was crying with her face in her hands and I ran over to her side. I was in front of Bella and on my knees before her within five seconds. Bella didn't notice me yet and I didn't touch her.

"Bella, Bella what's wrong? Please talk to me." I whispered softly, trying my hardest not to startle her, she jumped anyway.

"Oh, … Edward." Bella sobbed out and as soon as she saw me before her she started crying even harder. "Oh Edward, I … I'm so sorry. I'm really truly sorry. Please, please don't hate me!"

"Bella, how could I possibly hate you?" I asked amazed by the mere thought that she could think, I'd hate her for anything.

I moved to reach out to her but she pulled back and curled into a ball in the middle of the bed. "No, don't. Don't touch me." Bella shouted as she moved away from my touch, I pulled back.

"I'm sorry Bella." I whispered as I stayed kneeling on the floor by the bed, just watching the love of my life …. _crying before me_. "Bella, please tell me what happened? Why are you crying?"

"I, … I can't." Bella stuttered out with her tears, it was heartbreaking for me to watch her in so much pain. "I can't, you'll hate me for sure if I tell you. Please, don't make me say it!"

"Ok, ok Bella. Its alright." I said quickly. "I just need to calm you down. Bella just tell me what to do. How can I help you?"

She was shaking her head no, sobbing even more. "No, you can't help me … Edward, I'm so sorry. So, so, so sorry!"

"Bella you have nothing to be sorry about." It was killing me that I couldn't help her and that she couldn't tell me what was wrong.

I needed to fix thing but how did I fix something if she won't tell me what the problem was. … What was she upset about and also where was the guy she was running around with? What happened to him? The guy with the book store said there was two of them but the lady on the street told me she won't saw Bella when they ran into each other. So where is he now and why was she running?

"Bella. Just please, tell me what happened or at the very least let me hold you so I can try to help calm you down." I begged from my spot on the floor, but she didn't even move. "Bella, please. Then tell me what happened to the guy you were with?"

She looked up that time, shock and fear all over her face. "How did you know about that?" Bella asked immediately.

"I talked to the book store owner on the street." I told her. "Now who was he and why isn't he with you anymore, Bella? Why did you run away and why won't you let me help you?"

Her only response was to cry harder. "NO, … no, no, no. This can't be happening. … No, no, no. No." Bella sobbed again.

"Bella, … Bella, please!" I tried to get her attention again but I couldn't, _she was shaking her head and saying NO_.

"I didn't know. … He was nice to me." Bella muttered in between her no ranting. "I can't believe this happened!"

I couldn't stand it any longer, I got up and moved so I could pull her into my arms, she tried to protest but I was stronger. "Bella, Bella love, Please just tell me." I said as she tried to get away from me again but I wasn't going to let her go this time.

"Edward, … please, Edward stop." Bella protested again and this time I froze in place, what was wrong? "I can't tell you or you'll really hate me and I, … I need you Edward"

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere." I promised as I held her close to me on my lap she slowly stopped struggling and clung to me as she cried into my chest, it was killing me to watch her like this.

"He, … He had me against the wall. … It was dark and loud and I couldn't get away from him." Bella started through her crying. "He was too strong and he was drunk. He, … he was saying and doing things and OH, Edward I was so scared. I got away from him but then he chased me and, … and … he, … Edward he k, … kissed me" Bella was hysterical by this point and I was mostly confused as it was hard to understand all of her words but the ones I heard loud and clear were the last three.

_HE KISSED HER_. … _Who the hell was __**he**_? This guy that she was running around with today and … then he gets drunk and starts attacking her? _MY Bella_! Bella was crying harder and harder so it was getting more difficult to hear the rest of the story but there was only one other thing I needed to hear right now. His name!

"Bella, … Bella, its alright." I tried calming her a little before I asked for his name and what he looked like. "Bella who was this guys, what was his name and what's he look like?"

She clung to me tightly and buried her face in my chest. "I'm so sorry Edward." She said before crying into me again. "_JAMES_!"

My enter body tensed and froze with just that one word. _James _was here, in this town and had been running around with Bella all day? _Bella was with JAMES _and I had no idea he was even here! Most importantly … James had attacked and _KISSED _Bella! _MY _Bella! My arms tightened around her and pulled Bella closer to me and then I had my phone out and pressed the speed dial in a second.

"GET HERE _NOW_!" I hissed into the phone as soon as it picked up and then I hung up the phone.

I turned my attention back to the girl, still crying in my arms. I gently brushed the hair away from her face and rubbed her back soothingly. I shh'ed her calmly and just sat there, holding her. Telling her everything would be alright and that she had nothing to be sorry for. James was to blame for all of this and _soon _he would pay for _whatever _he had done to Bella. Bella and I sat like this for hours until she was slowly calming down and then we sat in the silence. I continued to hold and comfort her until she was completely relaxed in my arms once more. After a while, I thought that maybe she had gone to sleep in my arms but the she shifted.

"Sorry, Edward." Bella whispered softly again.

"Stop that. … Bella you have nothing to be sorry about." I told her honestly and place a gently kiss to the top of her head, until she pulled away from me. "What's wrong, Bella?"

"Don't you get it, Edward?" Bella asked and her voice broke. "Because of James, _I hurt you_. … I _cheated _on you so why are you being so nice to me? You should hate me right now? … _I hate me_!"

"Don't _ever_ say that." I said sharply. "Bella, this wasn't your fault and I could never hate you. For any reason. Bella I'm just glad that you are safe now and that he didn't really hurt you." I pulled her back so she was laying her head against my chest again. "Unless he did hurt you more than that? Bella if he did anything to hurt you, I promise I'll kill him."

"Don't say that." Bella whispered flatly, she sounded so tired and so drained that it broke my heart all over again.

"He won't get away with this." I promised, to both us of.

Hours passed and I continued to hold Bella in my arms. At some point she did manage to fall asleep so I moved us so she would be more comfortable laying down. I covered her lightly with the blankets but made sure to keep a hold of her. I'm going to have a hard time ever letting her out of my site again. Like I didn't have enough trouble doing that as it was. James had used Bella's kind and trusting nature against her and he was drinking around her. If I didn't hate him enough to do it before, I know now that I could kill James myself if I ever got the chance. I'd gladly take the jail sentence to do it, if that wouldn't have taken Bella away from me.

…

Hours later and I had just closed my eyes when I heard the front door open just outside of this bed room. Bella was still fast asleep and seemed to be much more relaxed now. I knew that Alice and them all had keys to this place but after all the surprised today, I wasn't going to take any chances. I carefully got out of bed and rushed out to see who was here and what the wanted.

"WHAT THE HELL EDWARD!" Alice snapped at me as soon as she saw me walking out of the bedroom.

"Keep it down, Bella is still sleeping." I whispered back at her.

"Alright Edward, you better explain yourself right now." Rose hissed at me in, thankfully, a whisper.

"Somehow, James is here in town. He tricked Bella into spending the day with him and then cornered her to attack her." I explained quickly and already I could feel my anger building again. "She said she tried to get away but he chased her and kissed her. She ran away and I found her crying in that bedroom. I calmed her down and now she is sleeping. NOW, I need you all to stay with her while I go and hunt this son of a bitch down. Got any question?"

"Did you just swear?" Emmett asked stunned.

"Any questions that aren't completely stupid or that waste anymore of my time?" I asked ignoring my brother altogether.

"What do you plan on doing once you find him?" Jasper asked as he was now watching me intensely.

"He's going to kill him, what else Jasper!" Rose snapped.

_I only wished I could do that_. "No, I'm going to talk to him. Figure out what he wants once and for all and get ride of him." I told them all and Jasper simply nodded before walking into the bedroom.

"You gonna need backup Bro?" Emmett asked as Alice and Rose followed Jasper into the room with Bella sleeping.

I shook my head no. "Stay here and make sure Bella is alright." I told him before turning for the door, then stopped. "Um Em, don't tell her what I'm doing alright. I don't want her to worry."

"Got it, Edward's out getting milk!" Emmett said excitedly and then turned to disappear with all the others.

_Great_, now while I'm out I have to go pick up a think of milk. My brother can be such and idiot sometimes that it bugs me. But he always means well and he takes care of Bella just like the rest of them. I've always been thankful for my family to help keep _an eye or more _on Bella. She could use all the help I can get sometimes. I quickly left the room and was out in the hallway heading for the elevators when I noticed someone leaning next to the doors. I glared and him and my hands fisted at my sides. I had to remember I'm just going to talk to him, that's it. _Just talk_. Nothing more because Bella needs me to NOT get thrown in jail for murder.


	21. Ch21 Just talking … Kind of

Ch21 Just talking … _Kind of_.

Edward's POV.

I quickly left the room and was out in the hallway heading for the elevators when I noticed someone leaning next to the doors. I glared and him and my hands fisted at my sides. I had to remember I'm just going to talk to him, that's it. _Just talk_. Nothing more because Bella needs me to _not _get thrown in jail for murder.

"So, I guess, you know that you now have something that belongs to me?" James said cockily and I reminded myself again, I can't kill him because Bella needs me.

"FUCK YOU!" I snapped already not in the mood for this talk.

"Ooo, Eddie boy got some spunk now." James said teasingly. "And, when exactly did you start swearing? I'll tell your mommy?"

"Stay away from Bella." I said sharply but he just laughed. "I mean it James, stay away from her or you will regret this!"

"You don't honestly think I should be afraid of you?" James scoffed at me and then he grinned. "Besides, Bella and I got very close tonight and I'm sure I'll see her again willingly very soon."

"Not a chance, James." I told him smiling now. "Bella feel completely sick over what happened with you. I found her crying her eyes out over the whole thing. She hates you now so stay away from her or we'll call the cops to come get you're sorry ass."

"Big words coming from the guy who's girlfriend was out all day, running around with another man." James said raising an eye brow at me with a grin. "She was all over me tonight at the club and we danced until everything became too hot and sweaty to take anymore. I even had her sweet little ass in my hands for most of the night. You really think she's so innocent in everything that happened. Why don't you ask her where her hands were at?"

I couldn't stand him talking anymore. I rushed forward, grabbed the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the wall, hard. "Shut up, just shut your fucking mouth." I yelled in his face and all he did was grin at me with that stupid smirk of his.

"What's a matter, Eddie boy. Can't take it knowing that someone else had their hands on a body you yourself haven't even tried to touch. Come on, you know she wants it so just take her already. I'm sure she'll thank you in the morning." James just kept running his mouth, he was trying to anger me and it was working. "Better hurry up before she runs off with the next guy. Who knows, maybe he won't take things as slow as I did. At least I didn't have her cloths off … Yet, anyway. Maybe another ten minutes."

"Ahh, I pulled him back and slammed him into the wall again this time not as careful so his head hit pretty hard. "SHUT UP, You never would have gotten that close to her if you hadn't of tricked her. NOW that she knows the real you, you'll never get that close to her again… never even come close enough to touch her."

"Ouch. Now that one hurt." James said still smiling that dumb ass stupid smile, I just wanted to punch it off.

"Fuck you James." I yelled out again.

"Well give me a minute to find Bella and then we can see who will be _fucking _me." James sneered, grinning still.

I couldn't take it any more. I know its exactly what he was trying for but I didn't even care anymore. I hauled back and sharply punched him square on the side of his face. The other side of his head hit the wall just behind it and bounced back into my fist. I was so angry with him that I didn't even care to see if someone was looking out into the hallway from all the yelling. But we were on the top floor where only my family were located so I didn't care. I watched it all in slow motion and felt my hand throbbing from the double impact. James's head bouncing between fist and wall and then slowly that grin was finally wiped from his face. He slowly slipped and fell down the side of the wall and by the time he hit the floor, he wasn't awake anymore. I'm not sure how hard I'd hit him but the bouncing around probably knocked him unconscious for at least a few hours. I stood above him, fist still in the air and anger still making me breath heavily. I couldn't stand how angry this guy could make me and yet, it felt great to do this.

…

After I calmed myself down enough that my hands didn't shake with anger and my breathing wasn't still heavy, I pulled out my cell first calling the help desk security and then called the cops anonymously. Stating there was a man passed out in the hall to our hotel suite. I told them he looked pretty banged up and smelled of plenty of alcohol. They would be sending someone out to talk to the hotel security and someone to come pick up the drunk. I wasn't really worried about him waking up and telling the cops it was me because he wouldn't want anyone to know he was beaten up, much less by who. I kicked his shoe off to the side and moved to sit along the other wall to wait for cops to come to the elevator. Suddenly the doors to our family apartment opened, I looked up just in time to watch Bella rush out into the hall and Emmet poke his head out after her. They both spotted me on the floor and then Emmett disappeared back into the hallway. And Bella rushed down the hall towards me until she was standing, glaring in front of me.

"We will have a talk about KEEPING certain people _safe_, later Emmett" I yelled down the hall and I could hear him laugh.

"What were you thinking?" Bella hissed at me, her hands on her hips and her glare firm as ever … _fixed on killing me_.

"About what exactly?" I asked only a little confused.

"You can't tell them you're going after James and then just come out here to sitting around!" Bella snapped at me and then she started to look around. "What are you even…" She stopped.

"Yeah, I know." I said as I could tell her gaze landing on James's unconscious form by the elevators. "He's alive though."

She looked back at me with wide eyes and then she was kneeling in front of me, looking over every inch of me. "Are you hurt? Did he hit you? … Edward what happened out here?" Bella asked in a frantic rush and I had to grab her hands to stop her from checking me out for any injures. "Edward, what happened?"

"I went to go find him but he was already here." I explained simply with a shrug. "I was just going to talk to him but the problem was that he wanted to talk and _I hate his mouth_. I ended up slamming him into the wall twice and then I punched him. End of story, … oh and yeah, I called the cops to come and get him."

"Have you lost your mind?" Bella shouted at me. "You could have really hurt yourself! What if he attacked you, Edward?"

"He didn't even put up a fight." I said simply. "Bella, I'm fine honest. … and I'm sorry alright. I know it was stupid but hey, at least it fits my track record for right now."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Bella asked.

"Oh come on, I've done nothing but ruin everything since the morning I practically attacked you!" I said apologetically.

Bella moved so that she was sitting next to me and leaned against my side. She placed her head under my arm and nudged her way until I had my arm wrapped around her. I wasn't stopping her but at the same time, I didn't do anything to help her. Bella was cuddling close to me and I knew I had to stop her but I just didn't have any energy left to do that. I could barely lift my arms now.

"You didn't attack me Edward." Bella said suddenly.

"Oh yes I did." I answered back. "I had no right to allow thing to get that far, Bella. I had no right to even think about them getting father than we were but I did and for that I'm truly sorry."

"Edward do you not want me?" Bella asked sadly.

"What kind of question is that?" I asked shocked. "Bella I love you and of course, I want to be with you! I am in love with you!"

She shook her head. "No, I mean do you _want _me, Edward." Bella asked again and now I was confused. "Physically, _sexually_?"

I had no idea what to say to that. … My mind went blank at the idea of her even asking me this question. Bella is practically asking me if I think about her in the same way that all those other guys think about her. In a se,… sexual way. I could barely even think the word in my own head, how was I supposed to talk about this with her? I didn't want to have this conversation with Bella, not now.

"No, … Bella I don't want to talk about this ok." I said simply and leaned my head back against the wall, eyes closed hoping she'd stop talking about all this.

"No you don't want me that way?" Bella asked ignoring me.

"No, we aren't going to talk about this now." I answered.

"Edward, please." Bella begged. "I need this one question answered and then we can talk about the rest later. Please?"

I took a deep breath and sighed. "Bella, you know I would never do anything to disrespect you." I answered with my eyes still closed and then added as an after thought. "Up until that morning where we were messing around in bed, then everything about myself changed and I hated myself for what I did to you."

"So, … that's a yes?" Bella half asked. "Edward you didn't do anything wrong that day … other than think you had done something wrong. Its ok if you have an … attraction to me physically. Most guys would be all about the sexual appeal for their girlfriends … and even their regular friends."

"You are _so not _helping me feel better about what I did." I explained simply and it was true, I'd always felt better because I never disrespected anyone like that, especially Bella.

"Edward, please stop." Bella begged as she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tightly. "You did nothing wrong."

"Bella I acted as if I were …" I hesitated finding the right words but when my gaze landed back on James, _I knew my answer_.

"As if you were human, … a _guy _maybe?" Bella said scoffing at the end. "Edward do you even realized that you barely touched me that morning. We were making out on a bed, _yes_. But I still don't see what was so wrong about that? We _are _dating, right?"

"The point isn't what I did, its what I wanted to do." I conceded sullenly and then banged my head back into the wall. "The fact that I even thought about more proves that I'm no better than _them_." I spat lazily gesturing towards his unconscious form.

Bella suddenly sat up and was sitting on her knees right in front of me, and she looked ticked. "How dare you even think that, EDWARD!" Bella yelled in my face and I was shocked but a part of me was finally glad to see her angry with what I'd done.

"So, you get it now." I wasn't really asking but stated with a sigh. "Go ahead, yell at me and tell me off. I deserve every bit of it."

"Listen to me Edward." Bella snapped. "YOU are nothing like him. Nothing like any of them. Do you even understand that you weren't alone in that bed? I was there too and I wasn't doing anything to stop you. I was just as willing as you were. Does that make me as bad as them or worse? Tell me Edward!"

"Of course not, Bella." I said simply. "You didn't do anything wrong because its not your fault. I had you pinned down and I had attacked you, what could you have possibly done, anyway?"

Suddenly my eyes flew open because something sharp hit the side of my face, hard. It didn't really hurt, just a little sting but when I realized what had happened I was shocked. Bella had reached out and slapped me clear across the face. … She was glaring at me now and all I could do was stare wide eyed at her. Blinking in shock and disbelief. _Bella actually hit me_? Then when what she did caught up to her I saw her eyes start to fill with tears until she shook her head slightly and her anger was gone again. I couldn't move and I couldn't say or do anything. _I just stared at her_. I was once again confused when she sighed and started to get up, I wanted to stop her from leaving but what right did I have? She didn't leave though, she got up just enough so she could move on her knees and then came closer to me. She got so close that she was straddling my lap now, facing me. Bella grabbed my face between her hands and gently kissed where she had just hit me.

…

She didn't stop there. Bella started slowly kissing every inch of my face. My cheeks, my forehead, my nose, my chin, each of my eyelids, … Bella didn't stop. She kept kissing me repeatedly. Then finally she leaned my head back and hers down so that she could kiss my lips with hers. I wasn't doing anything to stop her from kissing me but I also didn't kiss her back. I can never trust myself to kiss her again but I can't deny her anything she wishes to do.

"I'm. So. So. _So_. Sorry. Edward … I didn't. Mean it!" Bella apologized between kisses now. "You just, … just made me so mad and you were being so stupid. Why do you always have to blame yourself for everything? Why do you have to find a problem were one doesn't exist? I love you and I want to be with you. I also just really, really _want _you!" she stressed her point by pushing herself up against me and kissing my neck now, _she was driving me crazy_.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore and had to grab her hips to stop Bella from moving anymore. I had to stop her before I couldn't stop myself. … I was loosing control and fast. What was she thinking, _driving me insane like this_? I'm trying to be good!

"Bella, stop this!" I said as she tried to struggle with me. "I mean it, I can't take anymore. Just stop, please."

She stopped but hid her face in the crook of my neck. "Don't you … don't you want me, Edward?" Bella asked in a whisper.

I knew what she was asking now and it was killing me. "Please, _please _Bella. Don't make me answer that." I begged her.

We didn't move or say anything for a while. I'd begun to think she'd given up until she gently kissed my neck again. Just once more but my breathing still caught in my throat. I didn't move and neither did she … until another moment passed and she kissed my neck again. … Then another, and again until she started kissing her way back up my neck and over my right ear. She was leaning against me again but she wasn't moving just yet. Bella placed a soft kiss just below my ear and then started whispering in my ear to me. Between every work she nibbled at my earlobe. _Maddening_.

"Please. Tell. Me." Bella begged in a soft whisper and I could feel my body tense and a small shiver ran down my spine.

I had no choice now. "Yes, … yes I want you." I whispered back as my arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her to me. "That's the whole problem, I can't help myself. I want you so badly Bella."

"Then tak …" Bella started to whisper something else but just then the elevators made a ding, telling us that the cops were coming up and we were in a very bad position for that!

I quickly stood up with Bella still in my arms. She was now standing in front of me with her arms still wrapped around my neck. My arms were firmly wrapped around her waist but I knew I had to let her go in order to talk to the cops about James. … _Who_, quite honestly _I had forgotten about until just this moment_. I lead Bella to the door of the apartment and told her to wait inside.


	22. Ch22 Interrogations

Ch22 Interrogations.

Bella's POV.

"Yes, … yes I want you." Edward whispered back as his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer. "That's the whole problem, I can't help myself. I want you so badly Bella."

"Then tak …" I started to whisper for him to take me but just then the elevators made a ding, telling us that someone was coming up and he must have thought we were in a very bad position.

Edward quickly stood up with me still in his arms. I was now standing in front of him with my arms still wrapped around his neck. His arms were firmly wrapped around my waist but I knew he would make me let go soon. … Edward lead me to the door of the apartment and told me to wait inside for him to come back. Once I was inside, Edward shut the door and I was ambushed by everyone that was left waiting inside. I mean, everyone.

"What happened, why was he just sitting out there?" Alice asked first before they all pulled me into the sitting room.

"Did he even go look for James or did he chicken out?" Rose asked sharply before pushing me down on the couch.

"Did he find James, do you know where he is now?" Jasper asked with more of an angry glare than I expected from him.

"Come on, Bella speak!" Emmett barked. "Tell us what happened out there. We are all dieing to know!"

"GET BACK." I yelled as they were all crowding me now. "Come on, guys. Give me a moment to breath here."

"Fine, … then tell us what happened?" Alice said as everyone slowly started to move back and take other seats.

I took a deep breath. "Ok, Edward is out in the hall and so it James BUT before you go out there, he's unconscious." I explained quickly before Emmett and Jasper even had the chance to move from their seats. "Look, he pissed Edward off out in the hall and he punched him but James hit the wall and fell. Edward called the cops to come get him so that's probably who is out with him now."

"Wow." Alice said simply and sank back into her chair.

"Yeah, who knew, Edward had it in him." Rose said, staring off thinking and then a proud smile spread across her face.

"So, James is going to be taken by the cops but Edward was the one that hit him, right?" Jasper asked to clarify.

"Edward told them he found this guy outside of our apartment." I explained again, feeling very drained. "He looked beaten up and smelled of alcohol so they think he just got off on the wrong floor and passed out. I'm sure James won't tell when he wakes up."

"Oh, He better not." Emmett said angrily.

_And with that the room fell silent_. Everyone lost in their own thoughts about the situation and I was glad. I hated to be the one with all the attention on me and after _what just happened in that hallway_, I really didn't want to talk to anyone but Edward. … And I'm not even sure I really wanted to _talk _to him. _I just wanted him_. Edward is always so careful around me, I was starting to think that he didn't even want me … in that way. But he does and I really want him like that also. I've never had this experience before. Wanting someone in a physical kind of way, or in any way. All I know is that I can't wait to kick everyone out and just have more alone time with Edward. I don't really care what we do, _just alone_! About an hour and a half later, the door opened and Edward walked back into the apartment. He was looking very tired. Everyone in the house run up to him, much like they did to me.

"What happened out there?" Alice demanded first.

"Did they take James away or not?" Jasper asked.

"Is he still alive or did you damage his brain at least?" Rose asked looking almost too hopeful to be healthy.

"_**ENOUGH**_!" Edward shouted as he pushed past them, he stopped when he saw me and stared at me; _expression unreadable_.

Then he was gone. Disappeared into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. Slamming really, the sound echoed into the hallways and it even made me jump a little. I just stood there, staring at the door unsure of what just happened. Everyone else seemed to be just as surprised by his actions as I was. But soon they were all over it and moved back into the sitting room. I didn't move, I couldn't. I just stood in the hall, _staring at that damn door_. Something was wrong with Edward and I had a feeling it was all my fault. I did something wrong. Maybe, I pushed too far while we were out in the hallway, maybe I upset him more than I thought?

"Come on, Bella." Emmett called. "He's not coming out any time soon, so there's no point in just standing there."

I didn't answer … I didn't even look back at them. I just turned around and ran into the next bedroom and closed the door. By the time I shut the stupid thing, my eyes were filled with tears threatening to fall over. I didn't want to cry but I knew I couldn't stop them at this point. _What was I even thinking_? Edward probably hated me now for what I made him do. I'd forced him to do something that he wasn't comfortable with and so _he hates me_. I had no idea what I was going to do or how I was going to fix this but I had to because I could stand Edward hating me. After everything I've already done to him, now this! Of course, _he hates me _… I'd hate me for what I've done. How could I be so stupid!

…

I don't know how, but at some point I managed to cry myself to sleep during the evening. When I woke up it was really dark in the room and I was a little cold from laying on top of the covers instead of under them. I sat up and could still feel the tear stains on my face. I didn't feel like I was going to cry anymore but I also didn't want to leave the room to deal with the others just yet. I sat in the bed, curled up into a little ball and dragged the covers over me to keep warm.

"Knock knock." A soft voice called from out side the door, followed by the sound of real knocking. "Are you sleeping Bella?"

"No." I whispered back, unsure if he could hear me … _he could_.

The door opened and Edward walked in carrying a tray of food. It looked like he had enough to two or more people but that was just because he always cooked so much food at once. He'd always said there was nothing wrong with having leftovers for later.

"I … Um thought you'd be hungry." Edward said hesitantly as he came to sit down on the edge of the bed and handed me the tray of food, it looked really good but I wasn't in the mood yet.

"I'm sorry Edward." I said quickly.

"No, I'm sorry Bella." Edward interrupted me. "I shouldn't have ran away from you and I shouldn't have been so damn protective of you. I've been trying so hard to be good but all I've been doing was pushing you away from me. I've been trying to keep myself from pressuring you but you wanted this. … _Us_."

"I shouldn't have been so pushy." I said looking down.

"I shouldn't have made you push." Edward said softly as he lifted my chin so I had to look at him again. "I should have just listened to you from the very beginning. I love you, Bella."

"I love you to, Edward." I tried smiling up at him but it didn't quite reach my eyes, I was sure he could tell the difference.

"Eat up, the others are gone and we have a lot of talking to do today." Edward said suddenly and he tried to get up, I didn't want him to leave again so I grabbed his arm. "Don't worry I'm just going to grab a drink for you and then be right back."

"No." I replied simply and pulled lightly on his arm until he sat back down and placed his hand over mine on his arm.

"Ok Bella." Edward told me softly. "I'm not going anywhere, then. I promise, I'll do whatever you want from now on."

"Stay." Was all I could say to that.

"Anything you say, Bella." Edward stated. "Now, eat up."

So knowing that he wasn't going to go anywhere, I released his arm and started digging into the food he brought in for me. It was amazing as always and I ended up eating more than my share of food. _But its was so, so good_! Edward did as I asked and stayed where he was the entire time. He sat there and watched me the whole time, which usually would have bugged me but I didn't care. Then something he said came back to my attention.

"_Wait_? … Did you say that the others were gone?" I asked surprised, I mean, … _how long was I sleeping_?

"Yeah _well_, after about two hours of sitting in that stupid room I came out." Edward explained simply he even shrugged. "They all attacked me and asked what happened. I explained everything about James and told them to leave."

"Oh." I replied simply. "And so, … they just left?"

"Well, no." Edward told me. "I had to kick them out after much complaint but they did all leave. They are gone now."

"Ok. … so what did you want to talk about then?" I asked as I finished the last of the food and placed the tray to the side.

"I wanted to pick up where we left off outside in the hall, _well _not_ exactly _how we were but, you know." Edward said hesitantly and he was looking down at the mattress.

"No, I don't know?" I asked … even though I was pretty sure what he was talking about, it was fun to see him be the embarrassed one.

"Oh, come on, Bella." Edward complained slightly before taking a deep breath then looked up at me again. "Bella I want to talk about what I said back there, about what you made me say."

"Which was?" I was making him say it again, cruel I know but _I really wanted to hear him say it again_.

He turned to look at me and took my hand. "I want you Bella." Edward said honestly, looking directly in my eyes. "I've always wanted you in one way or another but now I see that I really do _want _you. I want to be with you … in _every _way possible. Including a way I used to think made me seem like a jerk."

"Sexually." I offered for him.

"Well, … _don't say it like that_!" Edward complained then sighed. "But … _**yeah**_, like that. If you still want _me_, that is?"

"Yes, of course. I want you, Edward." I said happily. "In every way possible, _just as you want me_. … Just, not tonight. I'm too tired. "

Edward chuckled softly. "Well of course not." Edward said simply. "After everything that happened, I just want to sleep."

"Will you … stay with me?" I asked hesitantly, not trying to push him any farther than I have to but I need him to help me sleep.

"It would be my pleasure, Bella." Edward said as he climbed into the bed next to me and wrapped his arms around me.

So, after the really long day we had, _Edward and I snuggled in bed together_ and drifted off to sleep. It was much easier than crying myself to sleep or just trying to sleep on my own. Edward being here just made me feel _safe _and warm, so it was easy to fall into a deep _peaceful _sleep _that I wouldn't get without him around_. I think Edward felt the same way because he seemed to relax instantly when he put his arms around me and closed his eyes. I wanted to stay awake just a little bit longer to watch him drift off to sleep but I was, _surprisingly enough_, having trouble staying awake now.


	23. Ch23 Cake For Breakfast

Ch23 Cake For Breakfast.

Edward's POV.

_YES_. James was taken by the cops. Everyone that I called to watch over Bella left. I just had the greatest night's sleep I've had in years. AND I woke up next to the most beautiful girl in the world. Who, also doesn't hate me and still wants to be my girlfriend. I couldn't possibly think of a better way to wake up then looking at the peaceful sleeping, adorable Bella. … She really was adorable when she was sleeping. All cute and innocent. She's beautiful! Which makes me the beast trying to steal her away from the rest of the world. Hiding away because of my horribleness. … _Why on earth am I thinking about things like this_? I woke up in a great mood and now I'm ruining it by thinking stupidly. Why, _just why_?

Bella stirred beside me. "Hmm. Morning." Bella mumbled softly as she slowly opened her eyes to see me awake as well.

"Good morning, Beautiful." I said softly as I leaned over and gently kissed her cheek, she smiled and I kissed her lips.

It was a soft and tender touch. Nothing like all the other kisses we've had so far but still just as sweet. Bella was much more awake now and she smiled so brightly that I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. She really did mean everything to me so its no wonder that I stress over things. I mean, normally I really don't care when my family is around but I just couldn't wait for them to leave last night. Now, of course, I wanted to just stay in bed with Bella all day but logic told me we had to eat soon.

"I hate logic." I mumbled to myself, Bella gave me weird look.

"What?" Bella asked clearly confused.

"Its nothing, just that we have to get up to eat soon." I answered.

"Well ok … but that's wrong with the logic in that?" Bella asked still confused.

"I don't want to get out of bed … but I know we should because we have to eat. Logically I should make sure you eat but I really just don't want to get out of this bed." I explained to her.

"Then don't." Bella said simply and suddenly tried to get out of the bed. "I'll go get my own food, Edward."

I tightened my arms around her, holding her here. "_**Oh no**_." I said holding her tightly to me. "The whole point of _NOT _wanting to get out of bed was because you were here with me. But logically I still have to make sure you eat something so _I _have to get out of bed."

She was giggling now. "Oh I see." Bella said teasingly. "So, you just wanted to stay in bed because _I _was in bed?"

"Yes." I said strongly as I held her. "But I can't because of food."

As soon as I finished talking I quickly sat up with my arms still wrapped around Bella. She was sitting next to me now and for a second I had to think about what the easiest way would be to do this. _After thinking I just decided to go for it and see what happens_. I sung my legs off the side of the bed at the same time I lifted Bella and placed her on my lap. She was now in my arms, on my lap sideways so that when I stood up I was carrying her, _bridal style_. She wasn't giggling any more, actually Bella even stopped breathing for a second. My actions had surprised her and had taken her breath away. … _Not exactly how I'd plan to do that_. All the same she soon came around and wrapped her arms around my neck. Bella was smiling by the time I started walking to the door.

"That wasn't very nice, Edward." Bella told me, _trying to fake sternness_, as she leaned her head against my shoulder.

I kept walking. "Yeah, I know." I told her with a smile. "But it was much more fun than I thought it would be so, _oh well_."

I continued walked with Bella in my arms until I reached the kitchen. I then deposited her into one of the chairs at the table before moving towards the refrigerator. I was looking for something good to cook for this morning but nothing seemed to caught my eye. I didn't want to go too far over the top but just throwing something together seemed like a waste of my cooking. I was about to ask her what she wanted but then I spotted something on the counter top that did catch my eye. A little red box that I couldn't help but smile at, knowing that Emmett had probably been the one to pull it out sometime when they were still here. _Oh well_. … His loss has turned into my and Bella's gain. Cake for breakfast.

"You have to be joking?" Bella asked as I held the box up.

"What? … Its no different than having pancakes with frosting so why not have cake for breakfast?" I asked as I started getting everything ready for baking. "Besides, my mom never cared."

"Oh really?" Bella asked skeptically. "So if I called her right now and asked, she'd be ok with cake … for breakfast?"

"Yes, yes she would." I said confidently … _my mom was cool_. "Now, I'm going to bake this and you can eat it or not."

"Ok fine." Bella said happily as she watched me bake the cake. "Edward, you know, … you look good in a kitchen."

"I'm glad you think so." I told her as I worked. "I plan on cooking a lot more and don't even think about trying to cook when we get married. There's no way I'm letting you anywhere near the kitchen or even the cleaning stuff. When you're mine everything will change about this _no spoiling _rule that you have."

I continued mixing until the oven was ready and then I stuck the cake in to bake. I set the timer and decided to get the icing out and ready while it started cooking. I got so into my work that it took me a moment to notice that Bella wasn't talking anymore. In fact, she'd been rather quiet for a while now and it worried me. I turned away from the counter and back towards Bella and what I saw was surprising. She was looking at me … staring really. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hung slightly open. Like she was shocked.

"Bella? … What?" I asked trying to figure out what was wrong.

She shook her head, clearing it. "Uhhh … umm." Bella mumbled slowly. "You just said… Never mind."

"No wait." I said moving towards her and standing in front of Bella before taking her hand in mine. "Bella tell me what's wrong?"

"Its … its just that you said." Bella started still clearly shocked or stunned by something I said. "You said _**when**_."

"When? …" I asked confused now. "When what Bella?"

She shook her head again. "Edward you said when, … _when _we get married. Like it was nothing. I mean, like you already have it planned out that we … that you and I are getting married."

Now it was me that was wide-eyed and shocked. "I, … I didn't even realize I did that Bella." I said honestly. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean anything by that. I honestly didn't realize I was saying that until … well until you just told me just now."

"No, I didn't mean it as a bad thing." Bella said trying to calm me down now. "I was just surprised that's all. You never really seem like you want to talk about us … umm moving forward so I guessed you just didn't think about these things."

It took me a minute to understand exactly what she meant by that and I felt really stupid again. "Bella. … Just because I didn't want to do anything …" I started but got stuck on my words again. "Just because I freaked out when I tried to … do things with you, doesn't mean that I haven't imagined our lives together. I've thought about so many things and I'm pretty sure I've already told you that I'd hoped to be together forever. To start a family after we got married but I'd never want any of those things without you."

"Wow." Bella said softly.

"After all what's a tree without the branches that keeps everything together." I asked staring intently into her eyes, she smiled. Every since you told me that I've thought about how nice it would be to find someone that started off as a leaf and moved through the other elements until finally I would have a family of my own. A complete tree filled with love and plenty of leaves." I explained honestly and I watched as Bella's eyes filled with unshed tears. "The only thing I hadn't thought about was that I already have what I wanted all along. A random stranger turned into a friend, who grew into my best friend and now my girlfriend. How can I not thing about having a future with you, Bella I love you much. I'd be honored to call you my wife someday … any day!"

Her tears started to fall now. "Wow." Bella breathed as her eyes watered up and tears fell, _I wasn't trying to get her to cry_.

"Yeah. … wow." I said as I tried wiping her tears away.

I brushed the hair back behind Bella's ear and wiped away the last of her tears until she was done crying. I didn't mean to make her cry but to see her so emotional was very alarming and amazing at the same time. On the one hand I didn't want to think that I had upset her but one the other I knew she was just overwhelmed. When Bella finally started to calm down I was about to lean in and kiss her but the stupid alarm went off. I heard the ding and knew I had to go get the cake out but I didn't want to miss this moment. After a long sigh I turned away from the most amazing person in the world and took the cake out of the oven before sitting it on the counter. It was too hot to ice the stupid thing anyway so I just left it and walked back as quickly as I could back to Bella. I rushed back to her and captured her face between my hands before pulling her to me and kissing her with as much passion as I wanted to before.

She blinked a few times. "Wow." Bella whispered again.

I chuckled softly. "Is that all you can say now, Bella?" I asked teasingly but honestly it was wonderful to hear.

"Umm, no." Bella said slowly. "No its just that … _wow_."

I couldn't stop smiling and neither could she. "Wow is right, Bella. Wow is right." I said before pulling her back to me and kissing her.

I wouldn't say that we stood there kissing for too long but the cake was certainly cooled off by the time I got over there to ice the top. Bella came over and helped me spread the icing and when the whole cake was covered she dipped her finger into the container and wiped a drop of it on the tip of my nose. I took a step back, shocked, and then turned a playful glare in her direction. Bella started to back away from me slowly, smiling herself. I grabbed the spoon that was still inside of the container and started after Bella. Her eyes grew wide when she saw my grin, Bella knew exactly what I was going to do. I started chasing Bella the moment she ran away but of course, I was faster. Before too long Bella and I were both covered from head to toe in icing. Laughing like crazy.

…

Sticky and completely relaxed, we spent the whole morning laughing and running around. Bella started chasing me back with the icing container and we ended up rolling around on the floor laughing. Bella suddenly stopped at one point and looked around panicked. Before I even had time to worry about why she looked around and started freaking out about the clean up costs. As if I would really ever be worried about that? … But with this being Bella I simply craved and told her the apartment was designed, built and totally owned by my family so any damage was not responsible to the hotel in anyway. She looked as if she wanted to yell at me for letting Alice play her like that but instead she smashed a thick glob of icing right down the front of my face.

"Wait, … So does that mean that we didn't have to stay here the whole week?" Bella asked as everything clicked together. "You mean, Alice and Rose didn't pay for this place and she said that just because she knew I'd offer to stay if she had said it?"

"Pretty much." I conceded and was prepared for her to yell at me.

She didn't yell though. "So, … then why didn't you tell me so after they left?" Bella asked simply.

"Well because I didn't want you to go home yet." I answered honestly. "Because of James, which really didn't matter anyway and because … well I wanted to stay here. … _With you_."

"Aww, Edward." Bella cooed. "Well, we really should clean up now. I mean, look at this mess Edward!"

So, of course, we cleaned up all of the icing and even sat down to finally eat the cake that I had all but forgot about. The cake I made was really good but a small part of me would rather have had more fun wrestling with the frosting and Bella again. This whole time together also made me realize just how much I really wanted things between Bella and I to grow and strengthen. Made me see just how much I want to have a life and a family with her. _Forever together_.

"So … does that mean we can go back home, whenever?" Bella asked suddenly while we were watching TV together.

"What?" I asked confused until our earlier conversation came back to mind again. "… Oh that, umm well yeah. I guess it does."

"But it also means that we could stay longer than the week … if we wanted to, right?" Bella asked as she stared off thinking.

"Yeah, … this whole place belongs to my family so we can come and go whenever we want, for however long any of us wanted." I answered her back, completely unsure as to where she was going.

"Huh? …" Bella replied still lost in thought.

I waited as long as I could, just watching her think. "Ok, mind sharing with the rest of the class, Bella?" I asked suddenly.

"Oh, umm sorry." Bella mumbled as she looked back at me now. "I was just thinking about how much we've been through in such a sort amount of time and yet we've been so much together since the day we met. Now that we are dating, things have changed between us and it can be confusing but I think I really like spending my time with you like this. I was just wondering if you thought that maybe. … If this is what it would be like to live together with me? Of course, we'd be a little older by then."

"No, I don't think this is how it will be to live together Bella." I told her sincerely. "Because when we live together, I hope to be married and to be able to spoil you as much as I desire."

"What makes you think that will happen even if we are married?" Bella asked skeptically. "Who says I'll allow that?"

"I say you won't have a choice, once I marry you then what's mine is your's and what's mine will be used to spoil you for the rest of our lives together." I explained to her with a smile. "AND, if we have any kids in the future together then you can bet that they will be spoiled as well. No way am I letting you talk me out of that!"

"No way." Bella said stubbornly. "No child of mine will be some spoiled little brat just because Daddy doesn't know how to say the word no. Edward, you can't just do everything for everyone. Certain things have to be earned in life."

"Then, for all the hard work I've done … I feel as I I've _EARNED _the right to spoil my family any way I choose." I said happily.

"Very funny, Edward." Bella said rolling her eyes. "What if you spoil them too much and we can't control them anymore?"

"Them? … As in more than one." I asked raising an eye brow at her and smiling when she blushed. "I like the sound of that."

"I'm just say, … what if?" Bella corrected quickly.

"They won't be uncontrollable Bella." I assured her. "They couldn't possibly with a mother like you. They'll be perfect little spoiled angels and I hope they all blushes just like you."

"Well, I hope they all look more like you." Bella whispered.

"But that would be a waste because they would all be missing the most beautiful essences of their family, _their mom_." I said with a wide smile as I gently kissed her cheek. "I want an even split."

"Boys or girls?" Bella asked very excited about this now.

"How about one of each, … or more?" I answered quickly. "But if I'd have to choose just one gender, I'd hope for a little girl. I'd want the sweet and perfect little angel, just like her mother."

"You would totally be one of those over protective fathers that scare off dance dates and mean little bullies." Bella said smiling, I could practically see what she was thinking about; some strange little boy trying to ask out our adorable little girl … and me sitting in the middle glaring at the kid till he was crying.

"I'd have to make sure she was safe." I defended myself. "Besides, no guy would ever be good enough for her anyway."

"What about her best friend?" Bella asked simply.

"NOPE, not even he would be good enough but he'd be very lucky to date our daughter." I answered. "If he is ever given the chance."

Bella and I talked like that for hours, we had both forgotten about the TV and just started talking about our future together. It seemed so strange to think that we hadn't even really gone out on a real date yet and we have already been through so much together. There is still so much that we have to do and make it through but I know I can handle anything as long as I have Bella at my side. Bella hasn't always been in my life but its so hard to remember anything from a time before the first moment that I saw her. All those years ago when we were still young kids. She made such an impact on my life, even way back then but I didn't realize just how much she influenced me. She's always been there for me and I for her and now I just know that we will be there for each other until the end of time as we know it. _Nothing could be better than a life with Bella_!


	24. Ch24 Lazy Day

Ch24 Lazy Day

Bella's POV.

I woke up the next morning feeling completely happy. I was well rested and Edward was still fast asleep next to me, his arms still holding me tightly to him. He was so peaceful and seemed lost in his sleep that his mouth slightly hung open. He was adorable! I didn't want to wake Edward so I tried not to move as best I could. I wanted to let him sleep longer even though I was now wide awake and with no chance of falling back to sleep. Yesterday, Edward and I spend a good amount of time just talking … about lots of things but mostly about our future. As if it was really all going to happen the way we were talking last night. I really wished it would but I'm not too sure I could trust in hoping that it would. I'd love nothing more than having a life with Edward by my side and possibly having his children someday but the likelihood of him sticking with me for that long is very slim. I mean, look at the rest of the world and compare those women to _me_? … Now, look at _Edward_. Edward belongs with someone much better than me and I am completely grateful that he wants to be with me for now, but I know it could all be over just as easy tomorrow. _Then I would die_.

…

"Hmm." Edward mumbled softly in his sleep, before pulling me even closer to him and nuzzling his nose into my neck.

Even though he was sleeping and I knew he didn't mean to, his actions still made me relax. He was trying to reassure me but while he was sleeping it was so much cuter. I carefully leaned up just enough so I could lightly kiss his cheek and lay back down again. A very sleepy, very lazy smile spread slightly across his lips. I wanted to wake him up now, I wanted to kiss him for real … but an even bigger part of me said that I had to be good and let him sleep. This part was also the part of me that told me to be good so Edward could be good, but sometimes it was harder to listen to. Sometimes I just really wanted Edward so bad that I'd do almost anything to just be around him, to touch him, … _to kiss him_.

"Stop biting your lip Bella." Edward whispered into my ear and breaking me from my thoughts, … _kind of_.

"Oh, Edward you're awake?" I asked surprised. "How did you sleep last night, did I wake you? I'm really sorry, Edward."

"Like a baby thanks, and no you didn't wake me." Edward answered smiling and kissed the top of my head. "Bella, why are you biting your lip like that? Tell me what's wrong."

"Oh, umm nothing." I quickly replied, he wasn't fooled.

Edward nuzzled his nose into my neck and groaned disapprovingly. "Bella, … please just for once, _Tell me_!"

The feel of his skin was making me a little light headed. "I, umm I was just think … you, know about something." I answered as I tried getting my head to clear again. "About you actually."

He looked confused. "And thinking about me made you bite your lip like that?" Edward asked. "Why what did I do, now?"

"Nothing, you didn't do anything wrong." I answered honestly. "I um … I was just thinking that you were sleeping and you looked so peaceful so I didn't want to wake you … even though I really wanted to umm … _you know_, … kiss you?"

Edward softly chuckled into my neck now. "Oh, I see." He said and I could feel him smiling now. "Well then you should have woken me anyway. After all, no one should be denied a kiss."

Edward quickly leaned back up and kissed my lips so softly that I thought I was going to loose my mind. I wanted to deepen the kiss, … just a little but I was also trying to be good now. It was much harder than Edward had made it out to look and _even he was having trouble before_. But, I was going to try and I wasn't going to be so greedy and … I really was trying. But Edward started running his hand up the length of my arm and all the way across my collar bone, up the side of my neck and then let it rest just on the side of my cheek. My head instinctively leaned into his touch and I couldn't stop smiling now. Edward had the softest touch.

"What are we doing today?" I asked trying to distract myself.

"Oh, umm I hadn't really thought about that." Edward asked a little taken back. "We could just stay here all day, if you'd like?"

Stay here as in, this apartment, this room, this bed? … I'd be very happy to stay in this very bed all day but somehow I don't see Edward agreeing to that. Maybe we could go sit out on the couch, all curled up and watch some movies or something. That would be fun and I'd still get to have Edward's arms wrapped around me.

"I'm ok with staying in, we could have a nice relaxing lazy day." I answered back with a smile. "Just the two of us, together."

"A lazy day sounds perfect." Edward said smiling back at me then he frowned for a moment. "But we will have to start thinking about going home sooner or later. The week is almost up."

I hadn't even realized until he said something but yes, this would be day six of my stay. "Oh yeah, so it is." I said dully.

"You're father probably won't be pleased to know that we stayed all week alone together." Edward said thoughtfully.

Even though I was nearly twenty years old, my father has a hard time letting me grow up still. Although, he loves Edward and his family almost as much as I do, I doubt he'd be too thrilled with this. He doesn't even know that Edward and I are dating yet.

"I think we should tell him." Edward said, seemingly to have read my mind just now. "I think I should tell him, Bella."

"But what if he kills you?" I asked probably _a little over dramatic _but Charlie had a bit of a temper and I've never had a boyfriend before so I had no idea how he would react to it being Edward.

"He won't kill me Bella." Edward said rolling his eyes at me. "He will probably be unhappy about the idea but at least he knows me and he knows he can trust me. Plus if I'm the one to tell him then he will know that I am honoring him as your caretaker."

"That's insane logic that is going to get you shot!" I said stubbornly, but really it was better than me telling him alone.

"Then we could always tell him together." Edward offered.

"Fine. … but if he brings out the gun we aren't sticking around long enough to see what he does with it." I said firmly.

Edward chuckled. "Agreed then." He was smiling and then he leaned over and pushed some button I've never noticed before on the night stand table.

Once he pushed the button lots of things started to happen. The lights shut off and the wall right at the end of the bed started to move around. There was a whole that opened in the ceiling and a big screen TV was being brought down. Edward pulled out a remote control from the table and started flipping through channels _like this was just every day stuff_? I was staring at the whole scene with surprised and shocked wide eyes. I don't know why I still let these things get to me but they did. The Cullens' were rich and they all liked to play with their money. Buying anything and everything.

"What?" Edward asked when he noticed my expression.

"You have a TV coming down from the ceiling … in one of the guest bed rooms, to an apartment you're family own … in a hotel?" I asked completely shocked though I still don't know why.

"Yep, pretty much." Edward said simply and continued flipping channels until he found something he liked.

I shook my head slightly as I snuggled into Edward's side. He wrapped his arm around me and I rested my head on his chest. Edward and I got really comfortable very quickly and watched whatever looked good on TV for hours at a time. We only got up to eat and for other normal human needs but for the most part we did end up staying in bed all day. Very lazily just relaxing in each other's arms and enjoying the peaceful day in bed together.

…

"But, … I don't want to go home yet?" Edward whined the next morning as we both started getting out of bed.

"You were the one that brought it up yesterday AND you said we had to get home to tell Charlie about us, remember?" I reminded him with a small smile … it was kind of cute watching him.

"NO, I remember saying that we would have to go home AT SOME POINT. … and tell him SOON." Edward corrected and even then I knew his words weren't the same as they had been.

"You just don't want to go home." I said sighing, even though I really didn't want to go home anymore than he did.

His arms were wrapped around me from behind, my back flat against his front. "No, I don't want to go home yet." Edward agreed simply and bent down to kiss my neck from behind.

I sighed unhappily, even though all I wanted to do was melt into his arms and forget the rest of the world again. "But we have to at some point and if we don't go home soon, then Charlie will start to worry. He wasn't expecting to even last this long with the girls."

"Fine, I'll start packing then." Edward said sullenly but suddenly he lifted me up from behind him and was carrying me back towards the bed, I fell lightly with a bounce in the middle.

"Edward!" I shrieked after I was settled. "What was that?"

"Fun?" Edward said simply with a shrug. "Beside, you didn't really think that I would be allowing you to do any of the work, did you? Of course, not Bella. So just lay back and relax now."

"Edward, that's not fair!" I said stubbornly but knew he would just throw me back on the bed if I tried to do anything else.

I had to sit on the bed and watch as Edward packed all of my stuff from around the place. First he started in the room we had been sleeping in the most, gathering all of the things I had laying around. Packed all of my clothes and even the new shoes I would never wear that Rose made my buy the very first day. Edward couldn't stop smiling when he saw them, I knew what he was thinking … _me _trying to _walk _in _**those**_! It would not have ended well for me … or anyone that would have been nearby. He was laughing at me and my klutzy ways but it was ok, because it was Edward that was laughing at me. _He wasn't being mean to me_.

…

After he had everything packed, and I mean, everything … Edward went straight into the kitchen and started cooking. As if he hadn't done enough already, Edward was cooking for both of us again. I was getting frustrated with this whole, … lets spoil Bella thing. It wasn't going to last as long as he liked, or at least I had planned to stop it. But when I marched into the kitchen to argue with him, Edward had started kissing me until I completely forgot what I was doing. He'd used my confused state to get me to sit down long enough for him to finish cooking. … I want's pleased until I started eating and then of course, he was forgiven because the boy could cook! Plus it was really, really hard to stay mad at him for long. I had no idea how I was going to survive dating someone like Edward Cullen but I was certainly going to give it my all. Edward and I finished eating and then he moved all of our things into the long hallway by the front door that leads out into the hallway to the elevators. It was a little strange to think that just a few days ago. James and Edward had a fight out there and then Edward and I … well we almost did _some stuff _to. Some very … _fun _stuff! I didn't know how else to put it since, nothing really happened and since Edward really doesn't seem to like the other terms I've used.


	25. Ch25 Home Again

Ch25 Home Again

Edward's POV.

I didn't want to go home, I wanted to stay in that place with Bella for just a little bit longer. … But I knew better so we drove back home, for most of the trip Bella allowed me to hold her hand. Until the road was getting to twisted or she was fearful of the seeds we were driving at, she really hated when I would speed. No one else seemed to care about my speeding so why did she? But that doesn't matter now because we were back in town and I was pulling up to Bella's house now. Bella and I were about to tell her father that we are dating and that I am planning to take his daughter on our first real date tomorrow night. We decided it was best, _for now anyway,_ not to mention that I had been with _Bella alone_ almost all week.

"What if he says no?" Bella asked nervously as I stopped my car just in front of the steps leading to her door.

"He won't and anyway, you're over 18 Bella." I reassured her again, squeezing her hand gently. "He can't stop us."

"What if he tries?" Bella asked still fearful.

"Then I won't allow him to." I said determined. "Nothing could keep me away from you Bella, and nothing could stop me from taking you on this date tomorrow night. As long as you still want to come on a date with me and you still want to be with me, that is?"

"Of course, Edward don't be ridiculous." Bella said firmly and my smile grew even wider to hear her say that.

We both got out of the car and walked hand-in-hand up the walkway. Bella was still very nervous about talking to her father about us but at least she wasn't trying to run the other way. I thought she might have tried that today when I noticed how fearful she really was to be doing this. Charlie seemed fairly reasonable to me so I wasn't seeing the big deal. But then again, _I wasn't his daughter about to tell him that I have my first boyfriend after spending a whole week alone with said boyfriend._ Ok, I guess I can see why she would be a little nervous about doing this, but still. Its nothing to worry about because we didn't do anything wrong.

"DAD!" Bella called as we walked into house.

"In here, Bells." Charlie called back from the living room it sounded like, that's where we both walked to now.

"Hello, Chief Swan." I said politely as I walked into the room with Bella at my side, he suddenly watched us very intensely.

Bella and I sat on the couch together, still holding hands and faced a very stern looking Charlie. His eyes were now glued to our hands intertwined and for a second I was feeling as nervous as Bella. I took a deep breath to calm and steal myself for what was to come. Bella seemed to be doing the same thing when suddenly Charlie was the one speaking and we both had to listen.

"You both come here, on my only day off and just walk in hand-in-hand like this?" Charlie asked seriously and Bella froze mid breath, I could tell this wasn't going to end well. "Well, answer me, Are you to dating now or are we just trying my patience because I'd rather be watching the game right now!"

"Bella and I are dating Charlie and I wanted to be hear to tell you in person." I said simply but with as much forces as necessary to make my point clear. "We aren't asking for permission because we are both old enough to make this decision on our own but we came here to inform you so you wouldn't be caught off guard. I'm in love with your daughter and I wish to make her happy."

"What Edward said, Dad." Bella said beside me but with just a little less confidence, … she was still so worried about this.

"… Alright, FINE!" Charlie stated sharply. "But you have to tell me one thing and I want the honest truth. How long have you both been sneaking around behind my back before you decided to tell me what was going on? Do you two have any idea what kind of trouble two teenagers could get themselves into by sneaking around? It drives me insane just thinking about what you've done."

"Dad, … DAD. WAIT." Bella shouted suddenly and blushing deeply. "Dad we haven't done anything so stop yelling. We've only been going out since the last dance about a few weeks ago."

"I would never do anything to disrespect your daughter Sir." I answered back honestly anyway. "I would never hurt her."

"Oh. …" Charlie said simply and all the heated redness slowly started to fade away from his face again. "Fine then."

From the second the words left his lips, Charlie went back to watching the very same game he had been talking about in the first place. Bella and I both forgotten on the couch. We were both very surprised to see how easy things went today and yet, it seemed to be too easy. I mean, I know Charlie sees that Bella is growing up but I never really thought he'd be the type to let go so easily. Bella and I both looked at each other and then stood to leave the room. It wasn't until we were inches from the door that Charlie spoke.

"You better be careful with my little girl, Edward." Charlie said not looking away from the TV. "I still remember where you live and I can just as easily pull up any records you may or may not have from your past. Are we understood, boy?"

And this I was expecting. "Crystal clear Sir." I answered back just before leading Bella back outside and towards my car.

"I can't believe he just did _that_!" Bella fumed as she climbed into the passenger side of my car again.

"I can." I said honestly. "I was waiting for it the whole time."

"Well, yeah but he's a cop!" Bella said stunned. "AND he just threatened you. … Using fake records and stuff!"

I chuckled softly. "Its not like I have any real ones he could use against me, so yeah, he'd have to fake some." I was feeling very giddy right now and that's because the worst was over.

Dealing with Charlie was sure to be the worst part of this process with Bella so I was just glad to see that things worked out so well in our favor this time. Bella was much more relaxed now that she was holding my hand and I was driving back to my place. Esme already knew about me and Bella because of that breakfast one morning so it wouldn't be a surprise when we walk in together. Bella, though was a little worried that Esme and Carlisle would still have something bad to say about us being together, _as if that could ever happen_. They both love Bella so much and are just so glad to see the two of us finally very happy. _And we are happy_!

"Well, what _if _they do think it's a bad idea?" Bella asked stubbornly as we walked up the walk to my front door.

"Then who cares?" I said simply shrugging. "Bella it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks, as long as you want me then we can be together. Nothing else could keep me away from you."

She smiled up at me but when she looked back at the door I could still see worry in her eyes. "Ok, you're right." Bella said softly just before walking into the house. "It will be fine."

"We're home!" I called into the empty room to let anyone here know someone was entering the house again. "Come on, Bella. We can go fine a movie to watch or something."

"OH Bella!" My mother said pleasantly as she came around the corner and meeting us in the hall, on our way to the living room. "I'm so glad you are back, we've missed you all so much. I called Alice and she told me the boys were taking her and Rose on a date but that you and Edward would be coming home soon."

"Umm, yeah." Bella answered carefully, before my mother pulled Bella into a tight hug and then myself.

"We are going to go watch some movies." I said before pulling Bella back into my arms, … _I guess I have sharing issues_.

"Oh of course, Dear." Mom said happily. "Are you two hungry? I was just about to get started on dinner."

"That sounds great Mom." I said smiling, mom was a great cook and I was actually missing her home cooking.

I walked Bella into the living room, leaving my mother to cook. Bella seemed much more relaxed now and was smiling brightly again. When we walked into the room we found my father sitting on in the main chair of the room, watching some medical show. As we entered he looked up and smiled at us, I wasn't sure if Mom or the others had told him about Bella and I or not but I didn't see a problem. Dad didn't seem to have a problem with us holding hands but Bella still tensed a little when he was looking at us.

"Hey, Kids." Dad said happily. "How was the shopping Bella, or did Edward come in and ruin the whole trip?"

"Oh, umm. No we shopped some." Bella said hesitantly. "Alice was a little upset to end things early but the guys took them out for a date night so she was ok. I think anyway?"

I chuckled softly. "She'll get over it soon enough." I answered back and lightly squeezed Bella's hand to reassure her.

We walked over and sat down on the couch together, still holding hands because I didn't want to let go just yet. Bella was relaxing a little bit but she wasn't sitting as close to me right now. Dad looked over at her and smiled but I could tell he noticed something was wrong with her … just as I could tell. I wanted to tell him that everything was fine and that she was just worried about what he thought, but I didn't want to put Bella on the spot like that. She was already nervous enough. Dad simply nodded and turned his attention back to the TV once again.

"Is there something you kids would rather be watching?" Dad asked and turned to hand Bella and I the remote control.

"Oh, umm no." Bella answered quickly. "You were watching first so we wouldn't want to take it from you."

"Nonsense." Dad replied happily. "It's a rerun anyway and I think I can smell Esme cooking in the kitchen. I was just on my way to go see if I could steal some of her wonderful treats."

I new this wasn't a rerun, its not that kind of show so he was simply trying to make Bella feel better. My parents were always trying to help whenever or however they could. That's just the type of people they were and the rest of us try to follow their lead. We all try to do our best to be helpful but its not as easy as the make it look. Sometimes its easy while other times its not. Dad handed the remote to Bella on his way out of the room and then winked at me.

Bella held the thing like it was covered in mud or something then looked up at me confused before offering the controller to me. "Here, find something you want to watch, I guess." Bella said.

I chuckled softly. "Come on, Bella." I started teasingly. "Its not going to bite just flip till you find something good."

"Its your house so you find something you want to watch." Bella said stubbornly as she placed the remote into my lap.

I continued smiling as I picked up the controller and started flipping through shows. Nothing really good seemed to be on at this time anyway so I guess it didn't matter. I was just really happy to be back home and to have Bella sitting here with me. As I started going through the channels all over again, I leaned over and wrapped my arm around Bella's waist just before pulling her closer to me. Now that my dad wasn't in the room anymore I saw no reason for her to be sitting so far away. I wanted her closer to me.

"Hey, … Edward?" Bella asked confused but I could see her smiling from the corner of my eyes.

"What? No one will care." I explained shamelessly. "I don't like the space that you had between us. I can't hold you over there."

"Well, what if your dad comes back?" Bella asked as she watched the doors, _as if he'd just walking in at that moment_.

"So, what if he does Bella?" I asked back. "Trust me, no one here is going to care if we are dating. No one in this house is going to care if we sit together. I mean, Emmett and Rose were making out on the couch and Mom walked in to ask if they wanted anything to drink or whatever. Rose stopped and smiled up at her before asking if she could stay over for dinner and then go shopping with Alice the next morning. Rose and Jasper both spend the night here."

"Yeah, well … I don't know." Bella said forcefully. "I just feel weird … like, they will hate me now or something."

"No one could possibly hate you Bella." I answered honestly as I found something with fuzzy animals to watch, Bella would like it at the very least. "Just try to relax and trust me a little."

"I trust you." Bella said as she finally moved closer and leaned her head against my should. "I just don't want to upset your family. I really love them and I don't want anyone to think badly of me for being here. I don't want to over stay my welcome."

"Oh of course not." My mother answered for me as she came walking into the room with a tray full of food. "You are always welcome Bella, dear. Always. … Edward haven't you told her that before? Why make the poor girl worry over nothing?"

"I've told her, Mom." I said simply. "She just worries too much. Bella is afraid that you all won't want her here because we are dating now. She thinks you and Dad will have a problem."

"_Edward_." Bella hissed at me softly and then buried her blushing face into my side. "I'm really sorry Esme."

"Oh think nothing of it." Mom said with a smile. "Bella dear, you will always be welcome and Carlisle and I are just so glad to see the two of you so happy now. Edward has never been so relaxed when you're around him and also he's never been so anxious except when you're not around him. Its kind of really cute to watch. When you girls all left he was a bit of a mess."

"Mom!" I gasped, why did she have to say that? "Ok, thanks for the food but really, I think Dad is waiting for you."

"I wasn't much better without him." Bella whispered with a slight smile and _I couldn't help but love her even more_.

"Aww, that's just so adorable!" Mom cooed before leaving the room once more, most likely going to find Dad again.

"Your mom is one of my favorite cooks." Bella complimented as we both started to dig into all this food.

"Only one of?" I asked with a smile, Mom was the best. "So who is your all time favorite if it isn't my mother?"

She blushed again and ducked her head slightly. "Well that's a silly question." Bella said as if the answer was obvious. "My favorite cook is you, silly. I've never tasted anything better."

"I'm flattered but I know it's a lie." I said smiling after another bite of her delicious food. "My mother is much better than I am."

She shook her head. "I love yours better." Bella said stubbornly. "After this week I have to say you're my favorite."

I was flattered. I've always felt that I was a good cook but next to my mother, I was nothing. It was nice to know that Bella thought I was a pretty good. I know she was only being bias but it was still nice to hear all the same. Bella was a wonderful person and I still can't believe that she even wanted to be with me. It was amazing to think that just a short time ago, Bella and I were just friend. Best friend and would always be friends but still, _just friends_. Now, we are dating and spent almost a whole week together, alone! It was wonderful and I personally wouldn't mind doing a little more of that in the future, possibly the near future. First things first though, I still have to take Bella on a _real _first date! And because this is going to be our first real date it is going to have to be perfect. Even though, Bella and I have gone out together before, this is going to be special. Things have to go perfectly and everything has to go just right. I don't want anything to go wrong and I have a very special thing placed for the very end of the date. It might be a little bit much considering its only our first date but I've been thinking about this a lot and I don't see any reason to put it off till later.

…

That night I offered Bella to come up to bed with me but she insisted on trying to sleep in her '_guest _bed' as she called it. The bed itself truly did belong to her, Esme bought one for each of us and painted the rooms to fit each one of her kids. My mother was just like that sometimes, once you walked into this house you instantly became part of the family. Mom didn't care if we stayed the night together because she trusted us and its not like we were a bunch of teenagers under her watch anymore. We were just young adults that happened to still live under her roof, for now that is. I seriously hoped to find a place of my own soon enough but found it more difficult to leave than it should have been. I've never had any problems with my parents and this place was just so close to where Bella and her father lived that I didn't want to go anywhere.


	26. Ch26 Our First Date!

Ch26 Our First Date!

Edward's POV.

_I'm just so excited right now_! I woke up extra early just so I go run off and get everything ready. Bella has no idea where we are going or what we are doing so she's done nothing but beg for answers since we walked out of the house. Bella hates surprises but I was sure she would forgive me once we got there. This was going to be the best first day ever,_ at least I hoped everything would be great_. I didn't want anything to go wrong today and because of that something was bound to go wrong in some way. I just hoped that I was prepared enough to handle any situation the day may take.

"What's wrong Edward?" Bella asked as she lightly squeezed my hand again, pulling me back from my now nervous thoughts.

"Oh, nothing." I said quickly. "I just really want everything to be perfect for tonight. I don't want anything to ruin this date."

"I'm going on my very first date and I get to spend the whole day with you." Bella said with a smile. "Everything is already perfect Edward. You need to relax a little and tell me where we are going before I go insane please?"

"Nice try Bella." I said happily. "But no. I'm sorry but you'll just have to wait and see until we get there."

"Well, can you at least tell me if we are almost there or not?" Bella asked with a slight pout.

"Well. I told you, it won't be much farther now." I explained again. "So why don't you put the blind fold on now before we get too close. I really don't want the surprise to be ruined ok?"

"I still don't see why I have to wear this thing?" Bella complained but still did as I had asked her.

She placed the blindfold over her head and covered her eyes. Once I did that hand wave thing to make sure she couldn't see anything I found a place to park the car. I had to help her out and keep a close hold on her as we walked because she couldn't see anything. Bella was really nervous about walking blindfolded but I wouldn't let anything happen to her. Plus she refused to allow me to carry her like I had offered when I told her about the blindfold. I didn't want Bella to see where we were going just yet. Its going to be better this way because she'll be totally surprised and I hoped she'd like this. I wanted to something romantic but also something that would mean a lot to both of us, since this is our first _real _date and all.

"This is a bad idea." Bella said as she clung to my arm, her feet slipping under her unsure steps, _I have her so she's fine_.

"Nothing is going to happen to you." I reassured her again with a smile. "Bella just trust me and relax. Its not much father."

"Fine, but I'll probably just end up killing us both like this?" Bella said stubbornly. "That would be just my luck sometimes."

"Bella, please relax." I begged simply. "Ok, just take one more step forward. Yes, now … perfect! OK, take the blindfold off!"

Bella slowly unwrapped the black silk from around her eyes and looked around in front of us. I could read from her face that she was shocked and very confused as to what she was looking at. I had Bella turned now so all she saw were the shadowy covered woods, nothing special about that so she looked up at me confused. She also seemed a little frustrated with me, I could help laughing.

"Alright Cullen. What's going on now?" Bella asked as she crossed her arms and huffed, _I couldn't help but chuckle_.

"I'm sorry Bella." I said apologetically through my laughter. "I couldn't resist the urge to see you huff like that. Just turn around and you will see the real surprise. I promise its worth it!"

Bella slowly turned around, arms still crossed tightly against her chest and her glare was fully in place as she looked around. That was until she really looked around and saw what was in front of us now. At first she was still confused but it slowly morphed into a look of shock and aw. I had come out into the woods and found the exact tree Bella and I had been sitting under that day she went out for a walk. The exact same tree Bella first told me about her odd idea about the trees and things that go with trees. I figured it was the perfect place to have our first date but I had a hard time figuring out what to do with the tree. I ended up deciding a nice picnic under the tree would be very lovely. I strung little fairy lights around the surrounding trees, and laid out a nice big white and red checkered blanket under the shade. On the blanket was a huge picnic basket and very nicely decorated place sets laid out for two. Pillows and candles surrounded the sitting area. I just didn't know how long we would be out here and if it got a little late I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. It was still daylight out but in just a half hour the sun will be slowly setting around us.

"Edward." Bella breathed in aw still, her eyes started to water a little and I wanted to pull her into my arms. "This is wonderful!"

"I'm glad you approve Bella." I said happily, I was a little worried as to if she would really like this idea or not. "I even cooked everything especially for you and I tonight."

"I'm sure it will all be amazing then." Bella said still a little stunned as she continued to look around. "Wow, amazing."

"Would you like to have a seat so we can get started now?" I asked as I held out my hand so I could lead Bella closer.

She paused for a moment. "No, Well I mean, its just that …" Bella said hesitantly and I froze fearful of what she meant.

"What is it Bella?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"Well, … this is someone's property." Bella finally said slowly and I instantly relaxed. "Won't we get into trouble for being out here like this. I mean, before I hadn't planned on rest here for so long and I didn't mean to trespass. This is different."

"Oh, is that all." I said confidently. "Bella I already took care of that. This land belongs to some old man and his son. They live a little farther into the woods and I asked if I could use this tree for a romantic night out. I explained to the man about how we found this place and what it meant to me so he said I could use it for tonight."

"Wow, Rose was right." Bella said simply as she took my hand. "You really do plan the best dates, go all out and cover every possible base that has to be covered to make things perfect."

"I think I'll take that as a compliment." I said teasingly before walking over and sitting down with Bella close to my side.

"Oh it is … from me anyway." Bella said while her eyes still glanced around dreamily at our well planned surroundings.

As the sun started to disappear and the sunlight went away, the fairly lights started to twinkle just a little brighter around us. Bella's face was being lit up with a soft glow and she looked very heavenly tonight. Her bright smile was intensified by the glow. I wanted nothing more in this moment than to lean over and kiss her soft and gently lips but instead I started pulling out our food. I had prepared all of Bella's favorites, everything from morning eggs to late night deserts of chocolate, chocolate cakes. The whole basket was filled to the brim with all the goodies I could pack inside. We had plenty of food and anything she could have possibly wanted to eat tonight was guarantied to be on the menu. Ready to be eaten.

"OH wow, Edward!" Bella said amazed. "Everything looks so … _perfect_! I can't believe you made all this! _WOW_!"

"I wanted to make sure everything was here." I answered honestly.

"I can see that!" Bella replied as I poured our drinks.

By the time I had everything laid out, the only light shining on our little picnic was coming from the fairy lights around us and the candles I'd gotten around to lighting after the sun was gone. The simply glow was wonderful and I had even brought out a small radio to play soft music in the background. The disc was mostly made of Bella's favorite songs mixed with a few things I have composed over the years, including Bella's lullaby. I had created it for her when I had found that she was having trouble sleeping. On late nights when she'd call me because she couldn't sleep at home, I'd stay on the line and hum the tone for her until she slept. I planned the music out perfectly so that song was played last. I had hoped that we would be finished eating by then and I could move on to my next surprise with it playing behind me. It seemed to be working perfectly, the meal moved along in just the right timing.

"This was suck an amazing night, Edward!" Bella said as she finished eating and leaned over to rest her head against my shoulder as she looked up passed the trees and at the stars.

"I'm so glad you think so Bella." I replied smiling like a fool now. "But there is just one other thing before the night can be over."

"Well, what is it then?" Bella asked curiously. "The night is already so perfect, I don't see how anything could be better?"

I cleared my throat, I was ready to do this but a little anxious about if things would turn out the way I'd hoped for all along. "Ok Bella. I have something very important to ask you now." I said as I pulled away and reached into the big basket one last time.

I had reached into the basket and found the small black box I had placed in the back corner. The perfect little hide away until it was just the right time to bring out my little gift. I placed the box into my back pocket and moved to stand in front of Bella. I offered her my hand to show her that I wished for her to stand with me and helped her into a standing position. She looked confused but she was still smiling so I wasn't as worried as I thought I'd be. I could handle anything as long as she was still smiling at me like this. When I moved Bella into the perfect position with the glow from the lights and waited for just the right moment with the music, I suddenly got down on my knee in front of her. I could hear her sharp intake of breath from the shock of my new actions.

"Now, hear me out first." I said cautiously to start. "Its not what you really think. Well not exactly. Please just listen to me?"

She simply nodded with wide eyes stuck on me. I didn't want her to panic over this because I know how it looks but once I explain I'm sure Bella will agree with me. This is what we both want, … at least, I'm pretty sure we both want this. Otherwise, I'm a complete and total fool and have jumped the gun like I do with everything.

"Now Bella, I know we haven't really been dating all that long and I know this is technically our very first date but I don't think that really matters." I started my speech and watched closely for her expression to change. "I've known you for so many years now and we have been a big part of each other's lives for almost that long. We have been through so much together now and being with you seems almost nature. Like breathing, Bella! I know this may seem a little shocking to you and in all honest a little strange but I think if you listen you'll understand. All I want from my life is to be happy and to make sure that _you _are happy! Even when all we were was best friends I wanted to make sure you were always happy. That hasn't and will never change for me Bella. You are the only person in this whole world that I would want to be with. Dating or even just as friends, I would have been happy with either one. Just as long as you could be a part of my life, for the rest of my life! I don't know what the future will bring us but I do know I will be able to handle anything as long as you are by my side. Bella, … Isabella Swan I know this seems rushed but I'd like to give you this ring now." I pulled the black box out of my pocket and presented it to her and watched as her chocolate eyes grew even bigger with shock and … _possibly fear_? "I don't want you to panic over this. Its not like I'm asking you to marry me just now, just to make a promise that someday, … maybe you will say yes?"

"I, … Umm" Bella stuttered softly but I wasn't done yet.

"Bella, I'm not asking for a yes or no tonight." I quickly cut her off to explain the rest of my speech for her. "All I'm saying is that I don't see myself with anyone else, ever and my mother gave me this ring from our family. She told me it was special and should only be given to someone that I found to be special enough for this ring. Bella, I don't know anyone more special to me than you so I see no need in waiting so many years to give you this! I'm not asking the question just yet, so you needed feel pressured but this ring is just as much yours now as it will be then. Even if in the future you decide that you no longer want to date me, this ring with still only belong to you. There will be no one else for me and I want you to keep this ring, as a show of the love I have for you!"

"Um, … But …" Bella stuttered out.

"Bella ever since you first told me all about the trees and leaves and everything I was so fascinated by your idea!" I started to explain once again, cutting her off. "It was amazing to me just how your mind could work sometimes. From that moment and from the moment you agreed to date me, I found myself thinking more and more about that idea … about this tree. We started off as perfect strangers in this world and slowly became so much more. I was happy when you we were simply just flowers on each other's tree. I was truly grateful to be a leaf on your tree and now to become a fruit on that tree is just more than I could have hoped for. All these wonderful things have happened to me and I just want to show you just how much I care about you. To prove to you that someday, I'd like us to be very close bugs and someday … start a branch of our very own. Bella someday, if you'll still have me I want to start a family with you. I don't want to just talk about these things but I want to see them come true for us. I want to live my life with you! I know this is only our first real date as a couple and actually our first dates with anyone but Bella I want this to be our first and finally _FIRST _dates. I don't want to ever have any other first date!"

"But, … but Edward?" Bella said slowly, her breathing hard and labored as she stared down at me with wide, tearful eyes.

All I could do now was hold the box out to her and wait for her next response. Bella would either take the ring and make me the happiest man on the planet or she would tell me how stupid I was for even thinking about this crazy idea. I was certain I was ready for either response but what I wasn't prepared for was the waiting. Kneeing before he like this, arm raised and waiting was almost too torturous to bare. I couldn't read the tears that fell from her eyes _or _the expression glued to her face to tell her answer. She just stared down at me and as time passed and her lullaby ended, I was growing fearful of her answer. I could see it coming and I instantly knew I had not prepared myself for this answer as much as I had thought I had. This was going to pain me more than anything else I could possibly go through and yet, I had made it impossible for me to escape my twisted fate now. My life, my heart and my soul were all laid out for Bella to do with as she pleased. There was nothing from stopping her from killing me right now and all she needed was just one little word to do so. Bella wasn't happy, _she was shedding tears of sorrow now_, and she was about to turn me and this ring down all with one word. The one word that would end my life and free her from ever having to deal with me again. _**No**_.

After a long, long, long pause Bella opened her mouth to speak finally. "Edward. …. I can…" Bella started hesitantly but once again she was cut off … _but this time it wasn't by me_.

"_HEY_! … What's going on out here?" Someone asked walking out from the woods and into the middle of our personal and intimate outing that _was turning into my greatest nightmare_. "I thought I was hearing noises out here. Who do you think you are?"


	27. Ch27 First Date,  Last Date?

Ch27 First Date, … _Last Date_?

Bella's POV.

Edward really did plan the best dates and I started this date the happiest girl in the world. I guess, I should just try to keep all that in mind for the future. Everything was going perfectly and then he told me he had something for me, another surprise for the night. Yeah, I was defiantly surprised when Edward made me stand in front of him just so he could get down on one knee and hold this beautiful ring out towards me. I seriously thought I was going to die right then and there because I had no choice now. I had to tell him just how crazy he was being. _BUT THEN_, Edward opened his mouth and started saying this well thought out, and amazing speech. Like he was truly thinking all these wonderful things could really happen between us. _Like he really wanted to only be with me_? I knew better though, Edward was meant for someone better! Now the hard part would be finding my voice and telling him, he was making a mistake and that I couldn't allow him to do this.

"But, … but Edward?" I said slowly, my breathing was becoming hard and labored as I stared down at Edward with tearful eyes.

All I could do now was stare blankly down at him and wait for myself to respond in some way. Edward would either stop waiting for me and take the ring away or he would tell me how stupid I was for not using my brain right now, _thinking I had gone crazy_. I thought I was prepared for this night but I was wrong. I wasn't ready for either response. Kneeing before me like this, arm raised and making him wait was almost too torturous to bare. But I just couldn't make myself say or do anything. I couldn't read the expression behind his carefully held eyes. I just stared down at him and as time passed, I could hear my lullaby ended in the background. _What a lovely choice for a moment like this, __**too bad I have to go and ruin the whole night**__ by freezing and just staring at him like and __**idiot**_. I was afraid that soon he would give up on me and take everything back. I could see it coming and I instantly knew I had not prepared myself for this as much as I had thought I had. This was going to be very, very painful for me. More than anything else I could possibly go through and yet, I had no way to get out of this mess. I couldn't stop myself from being frozen with fear and worry about what he was asking of me. And so _he will change him mind_. Edward will finally realize that he was making a huge mistake by trying to give me this wonderful ring. It belonged to someone special, I was not someone special … he would soon realize this and take back the ring that _I so longed to accept_.

After a long pause I opened my mouth to tell him just that. "Edward. … I ca…" I started hesitantly but once again I was being cut off … _This time it wasn't Edward but I did know the voice._

"_HEY_! … What's going on out here?" Jacob asked walking out from the woods and into the middle of our little picnic that _was turning into a nightmare_. "I thought I was hearing noises out here. Who do you think you are?"

"I'm sorry I was given permission to use this area." Edward said, still not moving from his kneeling position and not taking his eyes off of me as I looked between the two of them now. "We are kind of in the middle of something, can we discuss this later?"

"Edward? … Bella!" Jake said finally seeing us in the dark through the light glow of the lights. "Wow, what are you…?"

It was a question he didn't finish and I didn't have time to think anymore. My flight or fight instincts were kicking in and I knew actually what I was going to do now. With Edward still waiting and watching my every move, my more cowardice part of me took over. I closed my eyes and turned on my heels, running as fast as I could in the opposite direction of Edward. Leaving him and everything I was afraid to face behind me because I just couldn't tell him that he deserved better than I could give him. I couldn't bring myself to tell him no I can't take your ring and yet I knew in my heart I had no right to accept his offering. It was meant for someone else, someone who deserved to be with this amazing guy!

"Bella! … Bella wait?" I could hear Jacob calling after me and I was almost worried that they would follow soon.

But I didn't hear any footsteps behind me. I didn't hear anything anymore as I ran farther into the pitch black woods once again. It seemed as if I end up doing this a lot and I see now why everyone thinks I get lost so much. Because I do get myself lost a lot. I always run away from things I don't wish to face and then I end up loosing my way and have to be rescued. Its too much to ask Edward to deal with forever, he didn't need to put up with me. Maybe for everyone's sake it would be better if I just stayed lost this time and then no one would have to put up with me anymore!

…

Edward's POV.

As soon as he called my name I realized who had walked in on us. _Jacob Black_, Bella's new and very friendly friend Jacob Black. The very same friend she went to go to the dance with but ended up leaving with me. The very same guys that got into a fight on that night, over Bella, and ended up in the hospital. … I felt bad for a moment that after everything since then I hadn't even given him a second though. … _Until now that is_. He was standing here in the woods so clearly he was out of the hospital and doing better. A part of me was glad to see him doing so well after everything and another part of me wished he would just go away. I was still anxiously waiting for Bella to finish saying whatever her answer was going to be. _I had a pretty good idea that it was going to hurt_. But I wasn't expecting what happened next. She closed her eyes and then Bella ran into the woods and _away from me once again_.

"Bella! … Bella wait?" Jacob called after her but I was too stunned again to even move, _I should have been following her_.

"Guess that's a no." I whispered dully to myself.

"Are you crazy? GET UP!" Jacob shouted at me as he turned back with eyes and worried eyes. "What the hell just happened?"

I didn't answer right away, I simply stood and took out my phone. "Alice, Its over … everything is over now." I told her simply, she seemed confused but I didn't let her speak yet. "Bella is lost in the woods again and this time she really hates me. Where ever you guys are, you all have to come home now! Please help her."

"ON OUR WAY!" Alice shouted simply, we both hung up.

"ARE YOU CRAZY OR JUST STUPID!" Jacob shouted at me again and his worry seemed to be growing. "She could get herself killed out there and you're just calling your sister?"

"She'll be fine in a little while." I said dully as I started following in the direction she just left me and everything behind. "Come, on. We have to start looking for her. Are you helping or not?"

He looked pissed at something but didn't say anything more. Jacob just rushed off into the woods and I quickly sprinted off in a slightly different direction. We would cover more ground this way and one of us was bond to find her, lost and confused in the woods. Alice and everyone else were sure to kill me this time, _I had never made such a huge mistake in my enter life_! I had thought this was to be the greatest night of my life and now it was going to be a haunting memory for years to come. Nothing can save me now from the pain I will have to live with after this horrible night.

"Bella! … BELLA!" Jacob continued to shout, but I knew she wouldn't just answer us after everything that just happened.

As I ran into these woods I realized now that the man I must have been talking to before had to be Jacob's father. He was a kind old man and allowed me to use his land for the night. But I also realized that that only meant that the tree we were sitting under that day and on this night … _belonged to Jacob Black_. The same tree Bella sat under and came up with her theory on love and understanding such a thing as love by using trees. This very same tree was on the property of the boy that has saved Bella on another night I made her run away from me. The same boy that instantly became her friend and made her smile so easily. Jacob Black, the same boy that wished to take Bella to the dance and then simply allowed me to take her away from him but still defended her in a fight on that same night. _Now I see where I had made my mistake_. Bella was never meant to be with me, _Jacob Black _is the one!

"Bella! … Please, come back!" I called out desperately. "Please, I understand now. You don't have to run away Bella!"

The woods were silent tonight and that was never a good thing. Nothing was making a sound or even a movement. Everything was still and calm, not even the wind blew the leaves around. There were no animals running around at night, there was nothing. The eerie feeling of this night was not helping the bad mood I was currently in right now. Something horrible was about to happen. And just as the thought came to my mind I around one of the trees before me and saw something I wish I could just forget. Standing just a few yards away was Bella and Jacob. Bella was clinging to him as if he were her lifeline and Jacob's arms were wrapped securely around her, keeping her safe and comforting her. Neither one of them noticed me and I was too afraid to give notice to my presence. I quickly snuck back behind the tree I was by and froze. I couldn't hear anything that they were saying, if they were talking at all. I simply wished for the ground to rise up and swallow me whole. This night had turned into my greatest disaster ever!

…

I was the one running away now. After spending no time to think about what I was going to do, I sprinted off into the woods. Bella was safe now and Jacob would make sure she stayed that way. All I had to do now was get as far away from here as possible! I wasn't paying much attention to the direction I was going but I was sure to hit something familiar at some point. I continued to run until my legs and lungs couldn't stand the burning from being pushed too far. … Even then I ran until I collapsed somewhere in the woods. I couldn't move any farther and I could barely breath. Staying here was probably the best thing for me anyway, some wild thing would come across me and take care of everyone's problems. But that just wasn't my luck, … just then some bright light was being shined into my face and blinding me for seeing who had found me here.

"There you are? … WHAT THE HELL, EDWARD!" Alice shrieked at me as she came close, _I guess death has come to me_.

"Bella is fine now." I said dully not bothering to move. "She's with Jacob so just leave me here to rot for a while."

"Oh don't be such a baby, Edward!" Rose said sharply. "Just because you didn't find her doesn't mean you should run off and go cry about it. _Damn it_, the important thing is she's safe!"

They didn't understand just yet. "Its over, its all over now." I said repeatedly … still refusing to move from my spot.

Oh come on, Bro." Emmett said walking over to me and lifting me over his shoulders, I struggled but not much. "Time to get you home. Seems like the night air has gotten to your brain."

I hung limply over Emmett's back and didn't seem to care I probably looked something like a deer being taken by hunters. The fact that my life was now as good as over was just too much for me to take at this moment. I should have know better than try to be more than friends with Bella, she's much too good for me. Things had seemed so great but they were simply too good to be true. She would be happier now, and I was glad for that but a part of me was glum. I didn't wish to loose my best friend but saw no other way around it after the events that have happened now. I had no choice because now I could never face her again, I would never put her through having to face me again. _Bella didn't deserve that_! She deserved so much more than I could do for her. I only hoped that Jacob could live up to the expectations better than I could.

…

Emmett walked in the house and up the stars with me still on his back until he reached my room, then he dropped me on my bed and left. My door was closed and the lights were still off. Everyone else had gone running off to find Bella and Jacob to find out what I already know. Bella and I were over and she would be happy now. When I rolled over on my side I could feel the small black box jamming into my side, I would have pulled it out but the pain was more than I deserved for how far I had allowed everything to go. The small box was something I would never be able to use now, I'd might as well just give it to Emmett. He could use the ring as an anniversary gift to Rose or something. After all, I had no other use for the stunning family ring anyway. _What did I care now_? The thing could be given back to my mother and saved for another generation in our family if that's what she wished for the thing.

"Edward." A soft voice called from outside my door. "Edward, its your mother. Is everything alright, Son?"

"No, please. I just want to be alone." I said back trying my hardest not to be rude to my mother … she was only worried.

Didn't matter, she was coming in anyway. "Sorry Dear, I just can't leave you alone when something is wrong." Mom said as she came to sit on the bed beside me, running her fingers through my mud covered hair. "Edward, please tell me what happened?"

"I did something stupid and ruined everything tonight, only to find out that it didn't matter." I explained with my face in my pillow. "Bella will be much happier without me now. Oh and here." I pulled out the ring and placed it in my mother's hands.

"Edward, this is your's to keep." She tried giving it back but I wasn't listening, I didn't want it without Bella.

"I have no use for a thing like that." I mumbled. "Please, just leave me alone and let me forget everything that' happened!"

"Edward. … I know things may have seemed bad tonight." Mom started softly, still playing with my hair. "But everything will work out in the end. You'll see my son. Just trust me, ok?"

She stood up and placed the small mocking box on the table next to my bed. The black lining was staring at me … further tormenting me. My mother walked from my room and once again closed the door to my room. I wanted to just fall into a black hole and never see the light of day again. I wanted my bed to cave in around me and crush me completely. I wanted anything at all to happen just as long as I never had to leave this bed again. I know I was supposed to be old enough to know that life goes on, and that love comes and goes but not for me. Bella was the only love of my life! I would never find anyone that means this much to me and I didn't care to try. All I wanted was to know she was happy and to disappear into nothing so I couldn't do anymore damage.

…

_I woke up with Bella laying in my arms, smiling up at me. She seemed so happy to see me but I was confused on how she'd gotten here. I couldn't remember what had happened last night. I wanted to ask her why she was so happy to see me right now but I couldn't find the right words to say what I wanted to ask her this morning._

"_Morning Silly." Bella said and kissed my cheek._

"_Um, Good morning." I replied slowly._

"_Are you coming to breakfast?" Bella said as she got out of bed and held out her hand for me to take. _

_As I reached out to take her hand I noticed she was wearing my ring? I didn't remember giving it to her … or her saying yes. Bella didn't seem to notice my confusion as she pulled me from the bed and we walked hand-in-hand to the kitchen. When we walked into the room another surprise was waiting for us. Three little children were sitting at this dinning room table. Three adorable little kids. One boy and two sweet little angels. The boy seemed to be the youngest among them but they were all so close in age._

"_Morning Daddy! Morning Mommy!" They all said at once._

"_Good morning kids, Did you all sleep well?" Bella asked as she left me by the table and moved to the stove._

"_Oh yes Mommy." One little girl answered happily._

"_Oh I'm so glad." Bella responded as she continued to find and cook breakfast for everyone in the kitchen._

_I was still confused but could help the smile that spread across my face, I had a happy little family … With Bella! What more could I have possibly asked for and now we would be eating together. This all seemed like a dream come true, until I looked up and saw a mirror on the wall. I stared at the mirror and noticed it showed me everything around me. The three little kids at the table, Bella cooking in the kitchen happily and then where I was sitting … was something so horrifying that I didn't believe my eyes. Where I should have seen my reflection, I saw Jacob Black staring back at me. And then suddenly I was watching from the outside. I saw the kitchen and the dinning room table with Jacob Black at the head with my family sitting happily around him. Laughing and talking._

…

I sat straight up in my bed and tried to catch my breath. At first I didn't know where I was or what was going on. As I clutched the sheets in my tight fists, everything slow came back to me. I had a nightmare, a horrible dream that Jacob Black was living out my deepest fantasies. Only to then realize it may one day come true. Jacob Black may in fact, one day marry Bella and have a family.


	28. Ch28 Confession

Ch28 Confession

Alice's POV.

I can not believe just how _DUMB _my family can be sometimes. First my stupid brother Emmett takes us to the wrong restaurant for our date and then just in the middle of desserts, _Edward calls_. He's supposed to me on his first date with Bella so why the hell would he be calling me? I had thought as I saw who it was. But of course, he had done something stupid as well and Bella ran away again. _GREAT_, another date down the drain because lover-boy was still learning how to be the perfect boyfriend. _Come on, Really_? Is it not bad enough that I have to cover both their asses but now, I have to make sure I fix things between Bella and Edward. Who, by the way hasn't left his damn room since Emmett dumped him there. Its been three whole fucking days. He _NEEDS _to get out and go find Bella. She would talk to us the other night when we called to find out where she was. No one knew where Jacob lived. And since Edward won't tell anyone what really happened we have no idea why Bella isn't talking to any of us. Or _why Edward is bedridden_.

"THIS SUCK!" I screamed again.

"Come on, Ally." Jasper said calmly as he squeezed my hand reassuringly, it didn't help as much as he'd hoped it would.

"_NO_, I mean it. This just sucks!" I said stubbornly. "I want to talk to Bella and I want to know what the hell happened!"

"Alice is right!" Rose agreed strongly. "We have to find her and get her to tell us what's going on because Edward won't get out of his damn bed. How are we going to fix this if we don't know what happened the other night. No one is telling us anything!"

"I'm sure things will work themselves out." Emmett said as he leaned over and kissed Rose's cheek. "Just relax."

"What if Bella is upset right now?" I asked sharply. "Should we just RELAX then, Emmett? NO, we have to find here!"

"Well, try to cell again." Jasper suggested.

"FINE!" I said with a huff and dialed her number. "Hello?"

"Alice? … What are you doing calling me?" Bella answered surprisingly and I resisted the urge to yell in her ears.

"Where on earth _ARE YOU_?" I asked only slightly yelling.

"Umm, I'm … well what does it matter?" Bella said simply and a little hesitant. "None of you want me there anyway."

"Whatever gave you that stupid idea?" I asked stunned.

"Because what I did to Edward?" Bella said as a matter of fact and I could also hear the gilt in her voice.

"Bella, … none of us know what happened the other night?" I explained trying to calm down so I could talk to her.

"Edward didn't tell you?" Bella asked confused.

"Bella, this is getting us nowhere." I said impatiently. "Tell me where you are so we all can come talk to you. Edward won't leave his damn bed and he is refusing to tell anyone anything!"

"What's wrong with him?" Bella asked concerned.

"We were kind of hoping you could tell us?" Emmett yelled from where he and Rose sat across the room.

"Um, well. I'm not at home right now?" Bella said slowly.

"Yes, we all know that Bella." I said rolling my eyes. "Where are you at then? Tell us so we can come get you. We have to talk!"

"Um, no." Bella said quickly. "No, I'll meet you somewhere. Um we can meet at the diner ok? Yeah or at my house?"

"Bella. … Bella where are you?" I asked suspicious now.

"Ok, ok. Alice, don't freak out ok." Bella said quickly. "Its not what you would think so ok, I'm over at Jake's house."

"OK, and where does he live?" I asked again impatiently.

"Um, oh. Down on the reservation with his dad." Bella said slowly, like she was confused by my question. "Um they live off into the woods but you can meet us at First Beach?"

"FINE, great. See you soon." I said hanging up. "OK, we are going to the beach and like NOW. And no Emm, we aren't swimming."

"Aww come on, Sis?" Emmett whined. "Just a little?"

"NO!" Rose and I yelled together before going to get ready to leave, we ended up yelling back down telling them to get ready.

"EDWARD!" Rose yelled at his door. "Get off your lazy ass and come on. We are going to pick up Bella and to find out what the hell happened the other night! Lets go and I do mean NOW!"

"Not going to happen." Edward muttered just loud enough that we could hear him and that was all we got from him.

We ended up leaving without him and the other guys were all tense from how angry Rose and I were. I couldn't help I was frustrated Bella and Edward were supposed to be a great couple, they have one date and everything goes all to hell. _I don't think so_! I have to fix this because I'm certain its all over something so stupid and I'm sure head will roll by the time I figure everything out here. Rose drove and the boys sat in the back of the car all the way to the beach. I was too frazzled to drive so Rose took the wheel. By the time we made it down to the beaches, I was feeling a little calmer and was almost ready to handle whatever Bella had to tell us.

"Hi, guys?" Bella said softly and Jacob just nodded beside her, he had his arm slung around her shoulders and squeezed.

"Ok, what happened? Why are you at his place and Why had Edward become a total shut-in?" I asked suddenly.

"Oh, … Umm. I don't know Alice?" Bella answered taken aback. "The other night, I panicked … Edward was trying to ask me something that I just couldn't answer. I was afraid and then Jake showed up and I just … Umm well I ran away."

"We know all that?" Emmett said rolling his eyes now.

"Jacob found me crying in the woods and tried to calm me down. I've been at his place this whole time because I, umm I didn't know what else to do?" Bella explained looking down now. "I was too afraid that Edward wouldn't want me around anymore to go back to your house and I was too afraid that you would all come looking for me at my place, to go home. I didn't know what to do so Jake and his dad said I could crash here for a while."

"Why the hell do you keep running away from Edward?" I asked suddenly, finally getting to the main point.

Everyone around me jumped but I was staring at Bella. "Um, well. Alice… I, … I know I'm not good enough for him." Bella finally explained and everything else made perfect sense now.

"Bella, that's not true." Jacob said as he squeezed her shoulders again reassuringly. "He loves you for who you are."

"Of all the dumb…. BELLA that is the most ridiculous thing I have every heard come out of your mouth!" I said laughing.

"Alice, this isn't funny!" Bella said sharply but I couldn't stop laughing now. "He was trying to ask me to marry him?"

"Congrats SIS!" Emmett called out.

"NO _FREAKING _WAY?" Rose exclaimed.

"Married? … Ok, I guess I could see him doing that." Jasper said shocked at first but on second thought saw understanding.

"Yeah, I know." I said simply. "In the future Bella, not like he meant today or anything. That ring belongs to our family."

"Well, yeah. … He said that, but I can't _marry _him?" Bella said sharply and the concern and worry was all over her face.

"And, why the hell not?" Rose asked. "What's wrong with him? Edward is a great guy and he totally loves you?"

"Because, I'm _NOT GOOD ENOUGH_!" Bella shouted suddenly as everyone just started blankly at her. "Doesn't anyone ever listen. I'm not good enough so how could I agree to marry him? All I'd be doing is ruining his life and take away the opportunity for him to be marrying someone special for him!"

"Oh don't be stupid." Rose said calmly. "You were made for each other. Just look at everything you've been through."

"She's right, NOW, get your stuff together because you're coming home and we are going to settle things with you and Edward once and for all." I said as I started pulling on her arm, but she didn't move just yet. "Bella, come on. WORK WITH ME HERE!"

"Even if you ARE right Alice." Bella started slowly. And that's a BIG if. … But Edward will never take me back now, you said it yourself, he's locked away in his room. He won't talk to me or anyone. I ran away from him while he was trying to ask me to someday marry him. I might as well have ripped out his heart!"

"Which he will get over when you tell him YES!" I explain still pulling on her arm. "Emmett, a little help?"

Jacob let go of Bella as Emmett started walking close, Bella protested but Emmett was too strong. It was nice having a giant for a brother sometimes. Emmett simply picked Bella up and started carrying her back over towards our car. The rest of us started following after, leaving Jacob in the dust on the beach. We had more important things to deal with then beach boy back there.

…

Edward's POV.

There was nothing more than I wanted to just drift off to sleep and waist away until I was simply nothing. However, every time I closed my eyes for even a moment, I have the same dream. Waking up next to Bella, her wearing my ring and leading me into the kitchen to find three children waiting for us, only to find that its really Jacob Black's life and not me with them all. I spent the last three days trying to keep myself from falling asleep but knowing that was all I really wanted to do anymore. Nothing else mattered.

BANG. BANG. _BANG_. The loud knocking on my door was only followed by more shouting and banging. "Open up!"

"GO AWAY!" I yelled back thankful that I locked my door.

"Edward, GET OUT HERE AND TALK TO US!" Rose yelled again as she pounded on the door again and again.

"How about NO!" I muttered before placing the pillow on top of my head to cover my ears from their noise.

"I told you, he wouldn't want to see me." I could barely hear Bella's soft voice whispered through the door.

I didn't really think about what happened next. I just did and before I knew what I was doing, I had the door opened. Everyone was staring shocked at me but I didn't stop, I grabbed Bella's arm and pulled her into my room before once again closing and locking the door. Once the door was closed and locked I could hear everyone else coming to and pounding on the door again. I leaned my head against the bouncing wood and just stayed there.

"Um, … Edward?" Bella asked hesitantly behind me.

I didn't move as I spoke. "Where have you been?" I said dully. "Alice and the others have been worried sick about you. Esme and Carlisle as well. They all were worried when you didn't go back home and you weren't answering your cells?"

"And, … well what about you?" Bella asked cautiously.

"What about me?" I asked confused. "I've been in my bed the whole time so they all knew where I was. Why didn't you answer your cell phone when Alice kept calling you?"

"Weren't you … well you know, worried?" Bella asked hesitantly. "Oh never mind, of course not."

I chuckled without humor. "I wasn't worried." I said still leaning my head against the wooden door, everyone still pounding outside. "I knew you were with Jacob this whole time, so why worry?"

"How did you know that?" Bella asked surprised.

"I saw that Jacob found you in the woods that night." I explained. "When Alice and Rose were complaining about not being able to find you, I assumed you were still with him. It's ok Bella."

"Where did you go after that night?" Bella asked. "Alice said you haven't left this room since Emmett carried you home."

"I've been there." I said simply as I pointed back over at the bed.

"Three whole days, Edward?" Bella asked shocked.

"Yes, Bella three whole days and all I did was stay in bed." I explained again as I finally turned back towards her and then walked back over and laid down on the very same bed.

Bella followed behind me but she didn't sit down, she just stood by the end of the bed, staring back at me. I wondered why she didn't just sit down but I guess a part of me already knew why. She wouldn't want to risk upsetting Jacob in anyway. Which I can completely understand, the part I couldn't was why she was here?

"What's up Bella?" I asked finally.

"I'm sorry Edward." Bella started suddenly and now she wasn't even looking at me. "But the other night, about our date and … umm about that question you asked me. I never answered."

"No worries, I get it Bella." I replied as I laid back and closed my eyes, mostly unwilling to go through this just now.

"I've been talking to the girls and I, … I just don't want you to get the wrong idea." Bella continued anyway. "I run away because I could tell you why I had to say no."

"Bella, I get it." I said a little sharper than I had planned. "I'm sorry but please, just don't say it. I don't need to hear this."

"No, you don't understand." Bella said again. "Edward I just didn't think I could say yes, I didn't think I was good enough."

"Good enough for what Bella?" I asked confused.

"That ring is really special Edward." Bella whisper softly. "And, … well, I just didn't real I could take it from you."

"Bella, … This ring doesn't belong to anyone else." I said honestly. "It doesn't mean anything to me unless its on you."

"But its something special for someone you think is special to you." Bella explained to me. "At the time I didn't think I deserved to feel that special. I wasn't someone special, Edward … or at least that's how I felt before. Then Rose and Alice were talking to me."

"But wait?" I said confused now, … _it sounded like Rose and Alice had talked her into take the ring_ but that's not what she wants. "Bella what about you? What do you want? What about _Jacob_?"

"What about him?" Bella asked confused now. "Edward, what I'm trying to say is that … I shouldn't be the one to tell you who is or _isn't _special to you. If you want to be with me and you think I'm worthy, then who am I to say otherwise? If you still feel the same way that you did three nights ago?"

My head was spinning now. … She ran away … because she thought she wasn't special? She was trying to tell me no … because she thought someone else would have been better for me? _Bella really believes she's __**worthless**_? This is insane! I can't believe this whole time Bella has been feeling unworthy of being with me and I had no idea the enter time! _Where the hell have I been_? I instantly sat up on the bed and pulled Bella forward so she was now wrapped in my arms sitting on my lap, on the edge of the bed. It all happened really fast and I could hear her surprised intake of breath. Bella's arms instinctively wrapped around me for stability.

"Bella!" I breathed as nuzzled my nose into her neck. "How could you possibly feel unworthy? How could you not feel special around me? Didn't I show you well enough how I feel about you? Don't you know just how much I _**need **_you, Bella? I wasn't just saying all that because it sounded nice, I said them because I meant them! Every single word, Bella! I love you and nothing will ever change that. I need you and I need you to be happy!"

For a while nothing happened. I'd finished talking, expecting her to say, … or do something but I got nothing. Then suddenly Bella started sniffling in my arms and clung to me tighter. I realized with shock that she was crying and my heart broke again. I didn't mean to make her cry and worse I didn't know why she was crying.

"Bella,?" I said softly and I gently rubbed her back. "Bella what's wrong? Please, talk to me Bella. What did I do wrong now?"

"No, … No, not you." Bella stuttered through her tears. "I was just so afraid that you were fooling yourself into believing that you loved me. I'd forget to think about the possibility that you really could! I mean, I never dreamed we could really be together because I was never going to be good enough for you!"

"That's ridiculous Bella!" I said strongly as I held her closer to me. "If anything, I'm not good enough for you! But I promise I'll do my very best as long as you'll have me! I'll make you happy!"

"You already do!" Bella said and she lightly kissed me neck and she pulled herself closer to me, I smiled brightly as I held her.

And just like that, _Bella and I were back together_! I was never going to let anything come between us again. She was never going to feel like she ever has to run away from me. Bella would never feel _unwanted _or unworthy again, _I'm make it my mission_! She would know every day that I loved her and that nothing could keep me from her! Every moment of every day will be filled with me _telling _her, _showing _her, _proving _to her; _That I love Bella_! I'll never let her go again and she will never have to cry again. Also as she wants me around, _I'll never allow anything to harm her again_! After a while, Bella's tears slowly started to calm and she was relaxing into me as we held each other close. _She fit so perfectly in my arms_. We sat like this for so long that Bella fell to sleep. She was adorable and I didn't want to wake her so I held her all night!


	29. Ch29 Wedding Day!

Ch29 Wedding Day!

A/N: Sorry updates too so long for this story. Other things came up in my mind and then personal life issues. Enjoy!

TIME JUMP … _TWO AND A HALF YEARS_.

Edward's POV.

Looking back on everything we've been through, _Bella and I_, I still find it hard to believe we made it here. One this day I will be making my Bella my wife! We have been through so much together and even though we've only been dating for barely three years, it seems like we've been together our whole lives! I still remember everything we've been through, every single moment. Including the night after I spent three days locked up in my bed. Looking back on that night, I don't really understand how I could think that Bella had chosen Jacob over me? I've never told Bella that's what I had believed back then but the idea still haunts me today. I guess I have just as many insecurities as Bella does but that doesn't matter now. _Bella and I are getting married_, … _**today**_! We will be spending the rest of our lives with each other. Alice had planned the whole thing and everyone else helped us put everything together. Not a single thing was out of place, everything was perfect and I couldn't be happier one this wonderful day!

"Edward?" Emmett called from around the corner. "Everyone's waiting and Alice says its about time to get into place. Are you about ready or not?"

"I'm more than ready." I whispered happily. "I'm on my way out, Emmett. Tell Alice to get everyone into place."

He didn't respond but I could hear his footsteps walking off. Alice had everything planned so perfectly and she was a little stressed to make sure everything went just as planned. I was just happy knowing Bella would soon be walking towards me. I hurried to finish putting my suit together before walking out of the changing room. I was too happy to really pay much attention to where I was going, I just let my feet do the walking. Before I knew it, I was standing next to my brothers and the man who would be bonding the love of my life to me, forever! _I couldn't stop smiling_. I was so excited to see my Bella again. Alice made us stay apart from each other for the last _whole week_! I wasn't allowed anywhere _near _her a week before the wedding because Alice said it was tradition the night before and she had so many other things to do with Bella. I think _Alice just thrives on torturing me to death _but somehow, I survived and soon I would be with Bella once again. In fact, we will never have to be apart again after this day was complete!

Emmett nudged my arm. "Hey, look." Emmett whispered to me and I followed his gaze. "Its about to start, the girls are lining up. Soon, you will be Mr. and Mrs. Cullen! Congrats Bro."

Emmett was right, down the long aisle way, the girls were getting lined up and the music would be starting again. I could see two very small little girls out front, each holding little white baskets. They would be followed by a young boy, the ring barer. Then Rose would walk out, followed by Alice and then finally … _Bella_! I was smiling brightly just thinking that my beautiful bride was just across the room and down the hall from me now. I anxiously watched as they all lined up and Alice gave the single to stat the music. The room went silent other than the calming tone of the music playing in the background. One by one they walked up the long walkway … _the slowest moments I have ever seen_. Each step made me feel like I was going crazy, it seemed as if Bella would never come into view. But then the music changed and Alice was finally out of my way from the door frame and … _there she was_!

…

She was the most beautiful vision in white that could ever exist. Alice truly had outdone herself with this wedding but Bella's dress … I was wonderfully impressed! She was amazing and as she stood in the doorway, arm linked with her father, she was the only thing that had my eyes. Everyone in the room was watching her and even from across the room I could see her blushing. She glanced around the room in aw of the place but when her eyes landed on my she froze. She smiled and I smiled back just as brightly, this was our wedding day and she would be mine! This wonderful sight before me was going to be in my mind forever! I watched with hopeful eyes as they started slowing walking again.

…

This may be a problem later, but for me the rest of the wedding seemed to pass in a blur. Bella was finally by my side and I held her hand while the minister began to speak. We listened and did everything we were asked. No one said a single word out of turn and everything went perfectly but I honestly don't remember much, other than Bella's beautiful blush and smile! She was gorgeous and she was going to be all mine, what more could I want just then? The very most exquisite thing I have ever heard in my whole life was the sound of Bella whispering 'I do' through her happy tears. I always say I couldn't be happier after moments like this but being here today, marring Bella; I now know what happiness is! I know that I will always be happy and be the happiest I can be, as long as I have her by my side. We will always be together and be ecstatic!

"Congratulations my Son." Dad said as he hugged both, Bella and I and then a line of well wishers formed behind him.

"HEY!, GO BRO!" Emmett called from somewhere in the room as Bella and I were passed from person to person.

"This is so amazing!" Bella whispered as we continued to be ambushed by family and friends. "Alice outdone herself!"

"Yes, everything was just perfect!" I agreed smiling. "Thank you for coming. Yes, it was nice. … Thank you again." I continued to greet and hug everyone that passed us and came up to us.

We were all on our way to the reception hall. Everything was running as smoothly as Alice had planned it to so her stress level was calming down considerable by this point. I, on the other hand was become slightly more stressed out by the minute. Yes, everything was wonderful and Bella and I were just married but now came the tricky part of that. … _The honeymoon_. After the reception, Bella and I would be driving away in this big limo and on our way to our very own honeymoon. It was all planned out and everything was ready, all we had to do was go and enjoy ourselves. Only one problem, … _I wasn't sure I was ready for this part_. In theory I knew what I was doing, it was common knowledge after al, but when it came down to doing it … I was a _little _worried. I know Bella will be with me the whole time and we'd be working through this all together but the idea still made me nervous. Suddenly I felt something squeeze my knee lightly under that table cloth and I was broken from my thoughts. Bella leaned over and lightly kissed my cheek before turning back to her plate to eat.

"Nervous again?" She whispered to me without looking back up at me to avoid drawing attention to our conversation.

"Maybe a little." I answered honestly while eating. "Can you blame me though, I haven't had much experience before?"

"Much? … Is there something I should know about Edward?" Bella teased me with a soft smile in my direction.

This made me smile in response. "No, of course not." I answered before taking another drink. "You know what I mean."

"Yes I do." Bella answered simply. "Look, its going to be fine. We will go through this together so it will be perfect!"

I gently lifted her hand to my lips and kissed every one of her fingers, saving her ring finger for last. "Yes, you are right." I replied happily and then allowed us to finish our meal.

By the time it came for our first dance, I was much more relaxed and it helped even more to be holding Bella in my arms. She had chosen a very special song for us and I loved every second of this moment. Bella was always such a klutz but when she was dancing with me, and I had her safely in my arms, she was beautiful! I would have to make sure she didn't trip over her own feet or mine half the time but she was also so elegant and graceful. Of course, that doesn't mean to say that she was only good at slow dancing. Bella was also very talented at many types of dance, given she was helped out with her balance and stability issues. Something I was more than willing to assist her with anytime she wanted to dance.

…

Soon enough, Alice was shooing Bella and I off in different directions to get changed and ready to leave for our trip. The place we were going was a totally surprise to Bella, simply for the fact that she would have argued with me if I'd told her before hand. It wasn't like I was spending a lot of money or anything but Bella problem would have preferred something a little closer and or a little simpler than where we are really going. My mother Esme has given me permission to use her private island. Nothing too over the top, just a little gift from my father but the point was that we would have the whole place all to ourselves. We could also stay there as long as we wished without Bella having to worry about how much it would coast me by the end, _not that it would matter to me_.

"Come on Edward?" Alice said banging on the door. "Its time to get going. Everyone is waiting and Bella is looking for you!"

"Mustn't keep my sweet wife waiting then." I said as I opened the door and walked away to find her, Alice followed after me.

"Edward!" Bella called as she spotted me walking back into the main hall, where everyone was waiting for us to leave.

"Are we all set to go, Love?" I asked as I wrapped her back into my arms again, she simply nodded. "Good, let go!"

As we walked out everyone started throwing rice and blowing bubbles at us. I made sure to walk with Bella protectively in front of me so I took most of the damage. She was laughing as we sprinted towards the limo but froze just before getting inside.

"A stretch. _REALLY_, Edward?" Bella asked in shock.

I laughed out loud at her stubborn expression. "What else was I going to get Bella, I normal limo? As if!" I explained teasingly as I opened and held the door open for her to get in. "Come on _Wife_."

She shook her head as she got inside. "I can't believe I'm marring someone that spends money the way you do." Bella said sarcastically and then laughed along with me. "Oh well, I'll survive living with you somehow, maybe I'll just take your wallet."

"Its all yours if that will make you happy." I said happily. "But that won't stop me from spending much money. Our family name is known almost everywhere and its good enough for most places because they all have done business with us before. They already have our information so take the wallet. No problem."

"That's just not fair." Bella huffed as she relaxed into the seat, while I told the driver where to go. "So, where are we going now? You have to tell me now because we are on our way!"

"Nope, not a chance." I said simply and kissed her cheek.

We were going to have a few detours and stops to make before we could get to the island. We would also have to take a plane and then a boat to get there and with each stop Bella would ask me again. I wanted so badly to keep this a surprise but the more she begged the harder it became. Bella was very hard to resist sometimes and I know at some point that will be very bad for me but I don't really care much. Bella can have almost anything she wishes from me, she just never wants to ask for anything. I'm going to make sure that changes as best I can. Bella married me so now she's going to learn what spoiling really means. Starting with this very trip, our honeymoon is a perfect way to start spoiling her.

…

By the time we got in the car that would bring us to the boat dock, Bella was almost dead on her feet and tired. I helped her into the car and she snuggled into my side and rested her head against my shoulder. She was sleeping before the taxi started driving. She was so tired and so deep in sleep when we got to the dock that I just carried her from the car and onto the boat. It was relatively small compared to many of our other boats and ships but this one was made for speed. It was sure to get us there faster than anything else and that's what I was counting on at this moment. Bella slowly woke up as I was driving into the middle of the waters. To say the least, she was a little confused when she saw we were surrounded by water on all sides. She woke up and looked all around before her gaze landed on me with her wide confused eyes.

"What the …" Bella said shocked. "Edward, when did we get on a boat in the middle of the ocean?"

"After the taxi ride." I explained. "You were sleeping so I just carried you instead of waking you up to walk."

"We're on a boat?" Bella said again shocked.

"Yes Bella." I replied. "We are on a boat now but don't worry it won't be for much longer. Its alright Bella, trust me."

"Where are you taking me?" Bella demanded now.

"Relax Bella." I tried to calm her down but I couldn't let go of the wheel to the boat just yet. "Bella, our honeymoon stay will be spent on one of the little island out here. Isle Esme."

"_Esme_, as in … _Esme Cullen_?" Bella asked stunned.

"It was a gift … from my dad." I explained.

She simply shook her head and moved to sit next to me now. "I should have known." Bella said softly. "So which one are you kidnapping me to, anyway?"

"Its not much farther." I explained pointing before us. "And how am I kidnapping my wife if we are going on a honeymoon?"

"Because we could have gone _anywhere_, Edward." Bella explained rolling her eyes. "BUT no, you just had to keep it a secrete that we would be staying on an island … a private island that your family owns. Yeah, you kidnapped me here … but I guess for the honeymoon part, I'm willing enough for now."

"Well, if you really want than I could turn around and take us back home then." I said teasingly as I leaned down to kiss her.

"Oh no, we came all this way." Bella said stubbornly as she crossed her arms and kissed me back. "We aren't going back now."

It wasn't long after that until the first sights of the island, the shadowy outline were able to be seen. Bella spotted the cloud covered land and her eyes light up much more than I had expected. She would never admit it but I'd bet she was just as excited as I was. And I was excited but I was also feeling those nerves again. I was more relaxed about everything than I was before but that wasn't to say I didn't have my doubts still. I spent most of my time with Bella trying my hardest _NOT _to even think about _kissing _her too much, … _how on earth was I going to handle doing more_? I mean, I understand the concept of what will be happening but that fact this is a major first for me was extremely terrifying. Bella, on the other hand, didn't seem to have any nerves as we pulled up to the docks. I parked the boat and tied it to the dock securely while she slowly took in our surroundings. I've been to the island a few times over the years, mostly for family vacations, so it wasn't as impressive for me. Bella looked very impressed though and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face, I was glad Esme allowed us to come here. The island was the perfect escape!

…

As I finished getting our things up to the dock, Bella continued to watch the water splashing on the rocks. I had refused to allow her to touch anything to help me. Bella was to sit and wait until I told her everything was ready to go, I wasn't allowing her to lift as single finger this whole trip. She wasn't too pleased about I was putting my foot down for this get away. Bella was my wife now and I was determined to show her just what that meant to me!

"Are you ready to see the house?" I asked as I placed the last of our bags on the dock. "Its just a little walk past those trees."

"Yeah, lets go." Bella said as she went to lean down and pick up one of the bags laying at our feet now.

"Oh, no you don't!" I said as I pulled her hand back. "Not on your life, Bella. I told you, you're not allowed to do anything this trip."

"_Anything_?" Bella asked exaggerated. "Come on, you can't carry everything all the way by yourself?"

I didn't answer her. I simply shrugged before flashing her a wicked grin and quickly leaning down and swinging Bella up into my arms. _Bridal style_. She squealed in shocked at first then glared at me when she wrapped her arms around my neck. She looked back down at the bags and then back up at me, questioningly. She even raised her delicate eye brow at me, suggesting that _I couldn't carry her and the bags_. But she really should have known better. Just on the dry side of the dock was a very large cart, I had made sure the caretakers of the place would put out of us. I could easily push the cart and carry Bella all at the same time, _even with her protesting the whole walk_. Which, she probably will but that's not going to stop me. I walked over towards the cart with Bella still in my arms and made sure to get all of the bag on securely before I started walking up towards the walking path. Bella did try to argue a little but not as much as I thought she would. Maybe she was slowly getting the point I was trying to show her, or maybe she was still too _tired _from the long trip we just had. She leaned against me.


	30. Ch30 First Time Surprise

AN: Warning and reasons for rating change. Story is now getting into the M rating. (Sorry in advance if its not as good as other's could be, I've never done this type of writing before.) I've taken some of my own personal influences and inspirations from some other fanfics I have read in the past from this site to help create the next few chapters to this story. I did not nor intend to steal from anyones work. Also sorry for the long delay in updates. Enjoy!

Ch30 First Time Surprise

Bella's POV.

I was really tired still and so, I allowed Edward to carry me without much of a fuss. _I'm sure he was thrilled by that _but I also hoped he wouldn't get _too _used to that kind of thing. If he really thought I was going to just sit around and do _nothing _this whole trip, _he was seriously wrong_. I also have to admit, the thing with the cart was a very good idea. Edward really did have everything all planned out, so of course, _everything was going to be just perfect for us_.

"Do you want to go straight to the bed now, Bella?" Edward asked as he walked us into what looked like the living room, _there was a whole house on this island and we were staying here_.

"Umm, not that I'm not excited to get things… _started,_ but wouldn't you feel better if we didn't do _that _so soon?" I asked slightly confused as to where his eagerness came from.

He softly chuckled and kiss the top of my head. "How adorable Bella. I meant so you could go and sleep some more." Edward explained with a smile and I started blushing again.

"Oh, … _right_." I said softly and buried my face into his chest. "Wait, … NO, this is _our honeymoon _and I am _NOT _spending our first day together, Sleeping! Edward the last thing I want to do is sleep right now, please just lets stay up?"

"Ok, we don't have to sleep now." Edward said quickly to defend himself from more ranting. "How about we just go lay down for a while, then. We both had a long trip and could use a good rest. Its not like we have anything that we need to do?"

"Oh, umm ok." I agreed thinking that he was the one that wanted to rest now, after all, _when I was sleeping, he was driving_.

So Edward carried me off into the bed room, leaving all the bags and things in the living room area. This place looked amazing and not nearly as big as I had feared it would be. Simply just roomy, everything looked painted in soft and warm colors to match the glowing beaches outside. Of course, the day was almost over now and the sun light was fading fast. _But oddly this only made the painted walls seem more inviting than dark and moody_. Esme had clearly done a wonderful job at designing this place. The bed room had a nice ocean-beach, blue skies kind of feel around us. Edward gently placed me on the bed before running back and closing the curtains to the sliding doors that lead outside out to the beach. The sun was slowly setting and casting bright rays into the room. He then came back over and climbed into the bed with me, it wasn't as hesitant as I remember the first time being. Edward and I have shared a bed together a lot in the past few years but this was the first night we would be sharing more than that. Tonight we would be sharing each other and an experience that will be wonderful!

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen." Edward whispered in my ears as he held me in his arms, pulling the blankets around us as well.

"And I love you, Mr. Cullen." I answered back and leaned up enough to kiss his lips tenderly before resting against him again.

…

After a while of just laying together, I suddenly noticed as his hand slowly moved under the blankets between us. He was caressing my sides at first, nothing too noticeable. Edward was probably just bored, laying here for so long. Then, I could feel his fingers brushing against my thighs. My mind focused on his hand as it inched closer to me, his intent was clear to me now. He gently nudged my legs just inches apart so he could gently touch me through my clothes. He was hesitant and gently. The simple gesture made my body ridged and I tensed unwillingly. His touching became soft rubbing and in the next moment, I was withering slightly. For a second his hand left me until I could feel him nudging the waist line of my pants out of his way. Then the rubbing continued only now, there were no clothes blocking the contact. I felt as my breath rushed past my lips. A soft sound, barely a whisper escaping me but he didn't stop. His hand kept rubbing against me until he slipped a finger inside of me. _Then my mind went blank and all thoughts left me_. My eyes closed tightly, my hands clenched. My head fell against his chest and I buried my face there. It was all I could do to keep from crying out. Breathing became harder and my movements were no longer my own. My body was reacting of its own accord. _Again my mind was gone_.

…

I woke with this uneasy feeling that I had missed something important but for the life of me, I couldn't stop smiling. I realized my eyes were still closed and I was struggling to open them. My breathing as labored but it wasn't painful. I was trying desperately to understand what could have happened to cause this. Then I felt a soft presser on my forehead. A gentle kiss to my temple. My eyes opened once again and soft green eyes looked back at me.

"Are you with me again, Bella?" Edward asked in a whisper as he held me close to his side, where we lay on the bed.

"What happened to me?" I asked still confused.

He smiled. "I'd like to ask you that." Edward said. "You seemed to have disappeared at some point during that?"

"During _what_?" I asked and I remembered his hands on me again and what must have come afterwards, that I was unable to recall. "You mean, … we had _SEX _and I don't even remember it?"

His eyes took on a sad tone now. "You really don't remember?" Edward asked softly as his eyes bore down into mine, looking for my most honest answer. "_Anything_?"

"I remember your hands on me and _then inside me_, then _**nothing**_?" I answered honestly as I looked off trying so hard to remember more. "My breathing was harsh and then my mind was gone."

He paused for a moment. "So, … you didn't enjoy any of what we had just done?" Edward asked hesitantly. "I mean, at the time you seemed to be enjoying yourself. I thought by the noises you were making anyway, … that I was doing things right?"

"Oh, I _enjoyed _it all." I said confidently, still feeling the zinging in my body telling me so and the fact that I couldn't stop smiling.

"Did I hurt you, Bella?" Edward asked worriedly.

"Of course not!" I said sharply and confused as to why he would even think of asking me such a stupid question.

"Well, then what did I do wrong?" He asked confused. "I must have done something to make you block out everything."

"_Edward_, … I don't think its what you did _wrong_." I started to explain with a soft smile and kissed his cheek. "But more to the point of what you did _right_. I mean, I feel amazing right now and I know its because of you. I can't stop smiling over here."

"But you still don't remember?" He asked me.

I looked up apologetically. "No, sorry." I said softly and blushing now, then something else came back to me. "_**Wait**_! What noises? _I wasn't making any noises_, was I? _Edward _… stop smiling!"

"I'm sorry Bella, but you were so adorable." Edward said simply with an apologetic smile of his own as I blushed deeper.

I buried my face into his side and he wrapped his arms around me gently. He kissed the top of my head and I could just tell he was still smiling like a fool at me. I was feeling so embarrassed and I wasn't even positive as to what I had done this time. Everything about this felt so strange to me but I was more thankful than ever to have Edward beside me. Even if he was trying so hard not to make fun of me, and _losing_. … _He was still comforting to have around_. I hid my face from him until I was sure all the redness was gone and that he wasn't smiling crazily anymore. Then I looked up again.

"I really am sorry Bella." He apologized again. "You just have no idea how amazing everything was for me, including all the sounds and faces you were making. I love you so much. Please, Bella can you please forgive me? I promise no more teasing."

I thought about this for a short moment and then an idea came to mind, it wasn't very nice but it made me smile anyway. "Aww, but not all teasing can be a bad thing." I said innocently enough and then I brushed the back of my hand down between us.

I was making sure to ever so slightly touch Edward's little friend under the covers. I got the reaction I was looking for instantly. Edward's body tensed and jumped slightly at my sudden touch. And then, just like that my hand was gone again. I watched him swallow hard just before looking down at me with heavy eyes.

"That wasn't very nice Mrs. Cullen?" Edward said but his voice was slightly off and it sounded more like a question.

_Although_, I had to admit I liked the way that sounded. Mrs. Cullen … it has a very nice ring to it and with his voice all husky. For a moment I let my mind wonder away with the different ways someone could say that simply name. My new name, … _to me it seemed to just roll off the tongue_. I enjoyed it very much. My mind was suddenly brought back to Edward the moment I felt his lips gently brush up against my cheeks, moving across and up towards my ear. They rested there for just a moment before he leaned down and softly nibbled on my earlobe. _Driving me completely crazy_.

"Your attention seems to be elsewhere." Edward whispered seductively into my ear. "Maybe I should try to start over and see how much you can remember this time around. Unless you'd rather finish whatever thought process you were on just now?"

_To be honest I couldn't remember_. "Umm, I … Uh." I muttered in a sort of dazed state and I could feel him smiling against my ear.

"I'll take that as a no." He whispered in a breath.

His hand was suddenly between us again. This time there were no clothes to get in his way and he wasted no time entering me. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes instantly shut tight. My left hand reached out and fisted around something, _his shirt maybe_, as I pulled myself closer to him. Again my body took control of itself and moved with every movement he made. I could feel everything inside of me, trying to keep from disappearing again. It was so hard to stay focused when he was touching me like this. Edward quickly moved my left leg to hitch over his side, giving him more room and making it easier for me to cling to him. _A small part of me was worried that I might be clinging too tightly to him but he made no arguments with me_. I could feel him slowly pumping his finger inside of me and the feeling was driving me insane. I wanted more but I also never wanted him to stop. My head was pushing into his side as his free hand was hold me tightly to him. Suddenly he pulled my face up towards his and was kissing me harshly. Edward rolled us over so he was now leaning on top of me and _my head was gone again_. The moment I felt him inside of me, … _gone_.

…

This time when my mind came back I wasn't as confused as before. I could also remember just a little bit more than before but not the whole thing. _I was starting to get frustrated with this half memory thing_. Edward's arms were wrapped around me again and this time the covers were back around us. I don't really know where that had been after the first time but I also didn't care. Edward's head was bowed into the crook of my neck, waiting for me to come to again, before he leaned up just enough to kiss along the curve of my neck and along my shoulder. My skin was on fire. _Was this normal_? One little touch and I want him all over again. I wasn't sure if this constant need was something to be expected or if would eventually even out. After all, I couldn't even remember what happened and yet, _I know we did a lot_. I could feel the energy I lost but all I wanted was more. It wasn't just me either. _Edward_ could feel it too. The need to always be touching, to always have that satisfaction that seemed to buzz around inside my bones. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted it. _I wanted him_.

"But its late, Bella?" Edward warned only he didn't seem unwilling as I leaned up and kissed him passionately.

"We can sleep later." I said simply. "Edward I remembered a little more this time so maybe if we keep going…" I let myself trail off.

I kissed Edward again and this time my hands moved to tangle in his hair, pulling him closer to me. I could hear and feel him moaning into my kiss. It was an incredible feeling, something that sent shivers through my body. Everything about Edward was making my body buzz and do wonderful things. I wasn't sure how he was doing it _but part of me wished he never stopped_. Edward's arms wrapped slightly tighter around me and pulled me flush against his body. We had never gotten dressed after our last session so I could feel every inch of his skin pressed up to mine. This time, I'm sure I was the one making noises and Edward deepened the kiss even more now, moaning once again. _Driving me crazy_. I struggled to breathe and stay focused when Edward kissed along the corner of my jaw, before trailing kisses down across my throat.

"I want you, Bella." Edward whispered into the hollow of my neck. "_Please_." I could feel as he breathed against my skin.

Apparently, any ideas Edward had of sleeping were forgotten, _not that I'm complaining_. I was probably just as needy as he was at the moment. There was a strange feeling going on in my head, light headed almost, though I was sure I was breathing correctly. I monitored my shallow breaths, the way the air couldn't seem to stay in my lungs long enough to be to any use. I tried to breathe more deeply, pulling in a deep breath of air. Everything seemed normal enough, _other than the light headed feeling and my tingling body_. Everything seemed to have turned around and not in a bad way either. I realized as Edward continued to kiss me, that he was still waiting for some sort of response. All I could do was kiss him. Luckily he understood my answer and rolled us over again. His hand quickly finding its way between us and my head fell back just as my eyes closed tightly with the sudden feelings. Edward wasn't taking his time, the feelings too intense for that right now.

…

The moment I felt him inside me, I was overtaken by a pleasure that seemed to ignite my skin and my blood. My lips were slightly parted and my eyes couldn't even dream of opening. I tried to stay focused this time but it was becoming increasingly difficult. _I could feel myself slipping away but I fought against the feeling_. My eyes opened for just a second, long enough to watch the same intense pleasure cross over his face in the slight slacking of his jaw, how his eyes unfocused slightly. The soft sounds he was making now, the feeling of his fingers tightening arm me, the muscles rolling up across his arms. Everything I saw in just that second proved how much he was enjoying this, _how much we both were enjoying ourselves_. I was loosing my mind and I wasn't sure how I felt about that exactly but I was having fun trying to find out. And to think, _Edward was so worried about this night_. I was a little worried about embarrassing myself but I knew that no matter what, Edward would take care of me. Edward _always takes care of me_.

"Bella," Edward whispered in a very soft, breathy voice.

…

Edward sighed contently, finally finding his relief. I sighed too, my head resting on his shoulder, playing with his hair at the spot that ended in a perfect little point at the back of his neck. There was a comfortable silence between us, and I listened to all the little sounds. _For a moment there was only our breathing, our one heartbeat_. After a while of this, I was starting to feel my muscles again, testing my arm, moving it up and down before clenching my hand and uncurling it. I felt Edward's chuckle move through my chest as much as I heard it. I was too tired to glare up at him for laughing at me and I had to admit, feeling him laughing against me was a very interesting thing. It was calming in an odd way. Suddenly Edward turned on his side and looked down at me. He wasn't smiling, his face was calm, his eyes grave with sincerity.

"I love you." He whispered, and it said a million more things that just those three words; it said he was helpless in a thousand ways, and needed me in a thousand more.

It said that the truth of what he was saying alarmed him in ways he couldn't fully grasp. I remember feeling that same way. Feeling like things were becoming too strong too fast with us and fearing that we might loose our friendship as well as each other if things ended badly. It wasn't very long ago that those were the same feelings I had whenever I was around him, they seemed to mix with all my happy feelings. That all changed for me the moment I said 'I do.' I was completely happy with my decision to be with Edward no matter what the consciences were, I just chose not to think about them. Looking into his eyes made me think about them now.

"As I love you, Edward!" I whispered back.

I smiled brightly and kissed him. I'd meant it to be a quick peck on the lips but his hand grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me back down for a longer _deeper _kiss. I moaned into his mouth, tangling a hand into his hair. Edward moaned with me and I was smiling again, against his lips; _this made kissing a little funny_. However, I couldn't stop doing either one. We continued to kiss and Edward's arms pulled me tighter towards him again, hold me to him. Then suddenly his eyes were open and wide, Edward pulled away from me then. I couldn't hide the pain I felt with the sudden loss and he quickly noticed. Gently he took my face in his hands and lightly kissed our lips together, just as I had planned a moment ago.

"I'm sorry Love, but we really should sleep now." Edward said apologetically. "And I think this would make for too many '_tries' _in one night, Bella. We need time to rest in-between."

So we went off to sleep for the rest of the night. Edward was right though, we did need our rest, because tomorrow we would be doing it all over again. And again, and again. I don't think I ever really wanted to stop, but _I guess Edward has his priorities in order better than I do_. After all, he's always been the one with the more level head. Edward was also the one always trying to take care of me and now he was doing it all over again. Edward was the best thing that's ever happened to me and I just can't see how I got to be so damn lucky. The luckiest girl on the planet has nothing on me, because even she doesn't have an Edward. … _But I do_! And I love him with all of my heart, I just hope that's enough to last. I found myself slowly drifting off though. Edward was right, _we were really tired now_ and in need of a nice rest. Of course, sleeping with Edward, …_ as in actually sleeping_, always made me sleep better and feel more rested than I ever did alone. For some reason, he made a big difference when it came to how well I slept. Before I knew it, I was peacefully out cold. _Dreaming happily of Edward_!


	31. Ch31 Exploring is fun!

Ch31 _Exploring is fun!_

Bella's POV.

The next morning I woke up feeling incredible rested even though my muscles were slightly sore. I just laid there with my eyes closed for while, laying in Edward's arms wrapped around me. I wasn't sure if he was awake or not yet, so I didn't want to bother him. Besides, I was more than content to lay here. I was completely relaxed and happy after the best night of my life. Of course I wasn't laying here awake very long before I felt Edward's fingers lightly moving on my skin. I thought for sure he knew I was awake but I didn't move or give any indications. I wanted to know what he was doing now before I proved to be awake. Edward's hand was soft and slow, at first he was just lightly caressing my skin. He then gently traced patterns on the skin of my arms and back. I thought he might have been writing something with his fingers but then I focused and the patterned seemed to be an eight? The path of his fingers were taking on my skin was just like writing the number eight but it was … off. He was tracing the pattern sideways. It took me a minute to remember what that meant, … _infinity_.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered and I knew for sure that he could tell I was awake now, I opened my eyes.

"Morning." I whispered back softly, looking up into his soft green eyes … Edward smiled down at me and I smiled back.

"Good morning, you mean." He answered back.

Thinking back to the night I just had, I smiled brightly up at him and snuggled closer to Edward. Laying my left arm across his chest and he moved to wrapped his arms around me once again. I laid my head lightly against his chest and turned to look back up him.

"In that case, it's a great morning." I answered happily.

"Are you hungry?" Edward asked and I frowned. "What's wrong Bella? All I asked was if you were hungry?"

"Yes, but is that _ALL _you have to say after last night?" I asked confused and admittedly … _a little hurt_.

"Of course not." Edward said simply, unfazed. "Bella I had the most wonderful night of my life, the best sleep I've ever had and words couldn't possible express my love for you right now. All I wanted was to know if my precious wife was hungry since we had an early dinner and nothing to eat after our first night."

And just like that, _I felt like a total idiot __**again**_. Of course, Edward would just be worried that he hasn't been taking care of me properly. He was so concerned that we hadn't eaten before bed and after everything we did before falling asleep. He was perfect and I was an idiot because I couldn't think about anything else now.

"Oh, right." I whispered back as I buried my face into his side and nodded simply in answer to his question before.

"_**Good**_, cause I'm going to cook for us and then get you back to this bed as quickly as I can." Edward said grinning down at me before wrapping his arms around me in a way so he could sit up with me cradled into his arms, _I squealed unexpectedly_.

"**NO**, … Edward I can _walk_!" I protested but he didn't release me, in fact, he stood with me in his arms and _we were still naked_.

I looked down at my hands that were tangled together in my lap now, my blush growing impossibly red. I could feel the heat coloring most of my exposed body and I shivered. I could also feel Edward's eyes looking down at me and I froze. What if he changed his mind about if he liked the way I looked now that he can _**see **_me in the day light? Edward didn't say anything or even move now. He just stood beside the bed, with me wrapped in his arms. He was watching me, probably waiting for me to look up at him but I couldn't do that. I couldn't bare to look up and see his eyes now.

"Bella?" Edward softly whispered into my ear, I could feel his lips brushing against my neck now. "What's wrong, Love?"

I relaxed instantly at the little name he called me. I guess I was worried about nothing … _which is usually the case around Edward_. Once I was sure he didn't want to kick me out of our honeymoon, I had enough courage to look up at him again. I smiled and blushed. Edward and I were still naked and he was still holding my completely naked body against his. Edward smiled at me and lightly pressed his lips on to my forehead. He chuckled. As he started walking he picked up some bundle of something that was sitting on the dresser. It looked black and red and very soft but it was all rolled up so I couldn't tell what it was.

"I love you so much." Edward said as he started walking out of the bed room, we were in the kitchen before too long. "Bella, what would you like to eat? I'm cooking so no arguing!"

"Fine." I said simply as he put me down gently in one of the chairs in the middle of the room, _so I could still watch him_. "A bowl of cereal will do just fine. I'm not really hungry anyway."

When Edward placed me in the chair, he sat the bundle down on the table. It all rolled out and I saw two very soft looking bathrobe/house coat things. One was smaller and red, he handed that to me and picked up the silky black one to put on himself.

He gave me a stern look and raised his eye brow. "Come on, Bella. Don't _punish _me like this. Tell me what to cook!"

I sighed. "Ok, umm how about eggs?" I about half asked.

He smiled brightly now. "Perfect!" Edward answered before turning back to the kitchen to get to work. "Eggs it is!"

Of course, his cooking was never just that simply but it was awesome. Edward quickly whipped up a full breakfast for two. Eggs, hash brows, bacon, and even French toast. I thought for sure he was going to start cooking everything possibly for a breakfast but then I started to stand up to tell him to stop. He froze and told me to sit back down before he burned something trying to argue with me. _I couldn't be the fault of his cooking being burned_. _SO_, I sat back down and he quickly finished cooking and came to sit next to me. We both started eating. _**It was amazing**_, as always! Edward was a really awesome cook but it was like he was always doing things for me so how could I allow him to do even more? This spoiling Bella idea of his was going to be a very bad disaster only because I know it would be too unfair. _For him anyway_. We mostly ate in silence because it was too good to stop eating to talk. When we were finished Edward quickly took the plates and set them on the counter to do later I guess. He then came over and kissed my lips gently, I started melting into his kiss instantly. My arms came up to wrap around his neck while his wound around my waist. Of course, if I was smart … _I would have known what was coming next. __**I guess that means I'm not**_. Edward quickly picked me up into his arms again and I squeaked out in shock … _again_!

"_EDWARD_!" I hissed but he just chuckled and kissed me again before walking back down the hall and back to the bedroom.

"Relax Bella, … I've got you." Edward whispered into my ear and I couldn't help but relax at his words, _he was cheating now_.

Edward placed me back down on the bed before climbing in next to me. We were still in the robe things and even though they were really comfortable, I just wanted them gone now. He moved us so I was now laying on my side, facing him so he could wrapped his arms around me. Pulling me closer to him and hitching my leg over his side. Edward smiled down at me and lightly kissed the tip of my nose, it was soft and really sweet. _I smiled_. He didn't stop there though, Edward was soon brushing kisses along my skin. First my nose, then my cheeks, across my jaw line and back down until he turned my head slightly to reach my neck. I was shivering and smiling and … _I'm pretty sure I was making some sort of sound _but it was hard to focus now. Edward was assaulting my neck with his lips now and I felt his hands slowly creeping up my arms. When he reached the top collar of the robe, he slowly pulled his hands back down … taking the robe with him. Soon my robe was nothing but a soft lump laying behind me and Edward pulled my lips back to his.

"Bella." He whispered softly against my lips. "You look so beautiful. I'm the luckiest man in the world right now."

I smiled as I kissed him back, pulling him closer to me. "Edward please?" I probably should have been blushing for begging but I couldn't stand this, … _I just wanted him so badly now_.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked and now I blushed while Edward's lips pulled up into his amused grin. "How do you usually touch yourself Bella?"

If my face had been warm before, it was on fire now. "I. ... I don't … I don't do _that_?" I said pathetically and felt like an idiot.

The moment Edward understood he pressed his face into my shoulder to hide his eyes from me. I looked away, out the door wishing that I wasn't held to the bed. I wanted to run out of the room, to crawl into a dark hole and never come out until I could answer his question. When he was done hiding his expression from me, he gently took my face into his hands, trying to make me look at him. There was no way I could handle this right now.

I refused to and he sighed. "Don't worry Bella," His lips were at my ear, "I'd be happy to explore for myself." He purred.

My mouth went dry as I finally looked at him. His eyes burned, _smoldered_, while his lips were still amused by how very foolish I was. I couldn't believe that I had to tell him this now. I mean, so what if I never … _touched myself_? I never had a reason to. Now I felt stupid and wished I had just lied but then he'd know when I had no idea what to tell him. He wanted me to tell him what to do.

"Tell me what feels good." He murmured, kneading my breasts with his hands and gently kissing my lips again.

I moaned, arching again. "Everything feels good." It came out sounding like a complaint and I managed to scowl at him for such a stupid question.

He chuckled slightly again and I somehow managed to keep my scowl at him. It wasn't easy, _his laughter was contagious_. When he finally noticed I wasn't laughing with him he stopped and frowned with a soft sigh against my should. I thought he was going to say something, but instead he smiled and kissed between my shoulder and my neck. I slightly jumped at the sudden feeling. I could feel his smile growing as he continued to kiss along my neck now.

"I'm sorry, you are just too adorable." Edward whispered.

"You're … chea… cheating." I tried to gasp out, _it wasn't easy now that his hand was moving between us_ _and going increasingly lower _with every light and gently kiss on my skin.

"Oh I know." Edward whispered back without a hint of guilt. "But in the end, we _both _will win. Cheating can be fun, Bella."

And with that I felt his finger tenderly brush against me and I tried to stay still, _I really did _. My lips were closed so tight that I thought I would bite my tongue off. My arms that were wrapped around him still, suddenly pulled me towards him and clung to Edward. He was teasing me now and I was trying not to react to him. _I failed_! The more he teased me the more I clung to him but that wasn't helping anymore. I was loosing _and honestly forgetting why I was even fighting this in the first place_. I wanted him so much now so I finally just gave up and soon I was moving with him. Every touched seemed to start a new fire inside me and _I was sure I was moaning now_. Edward pulled me closer to him when he noticed my surrender and I heard him groan. Teasing became more intense and the movements were getting faster. My head was already spinning and yet, I wasn't quiet as unfocused as I'd thought. I could feel everything and yet it was like nothing was happening.

"Stay with me Bella." Edward whispered. "I want you to remember how I make you feel this way."

I tried to obey and _for the moment I was_. My moans were getting louder and I lost all control of my body, _which was fine really_. It seemed to have a pretty good idea of what to do so why not? I could simply lay back and enjoy everything that was happening right now. Edward's breathing was becoming very harsh and I could feel every single exhale on my skin, adding to all the other feelings going on right now. The sounds he was making, the ones I was making and the feel of him, _just him all around me_. It was incredible and yet, I still wanted more. I couldn't seem to be close enough to him. I wanted to melt into him and just always be with Edward. For a second, _I thought that sounded a little insane _but right now its how I felt and I just wanted to enjoy this moment.

…

My eyes closed tightly and everything seemed to go blank for a moment. I couldn't feel my body anymore to know if I was still moving or not but I could feel Edward. His hands were still on me and his breathing was ragged. I wasn't sure if I was awake or dreaming cause nothing really felt right. I couldn't feel much and what I could feel, felt … _off_. Edward was here but he felt so light against me. I was sure he was leaning down on me, hovering over me but not quite. Was I just dreaming or had I lost focus again? He moved again and suddenly I was laying next to him, my head on his shoulder. I was laying on my side and he was on his back so that my entire body was pressed up against his side. I couldn't really breath right anymore _but I couldn't stop smiling_. There was no pain from my lungs over working but there was a slight sting between my legs, it wasn't _bad _… just an odd feeling. Laying like this I could hear and feel his heart beating and I never wanted to move again. It was a soothing kind of feeling, laying here.

"Wow." Edward gasped after a while of just silence.

I slightly jumped from the sudden nose but quickly recovered and smiled up at him in agreement. "Yes, I know." I said softly.

"Is it bad, … that I want to do that again?" Edward asked more hesitant than usual and I smiled lazily at him.

"I was thinking I had a different idea?" I answered back as I thought of something new _I _wanted to try.

"Well then, _by all mean_, tell me your idea." Edward said after a long pause of nothing, he was waiting for me to continue.

I blushed deeply now and looked down into his chest. "I'd umm. I'd like to try _exploring _now?" I said but it sounded more like a question than an explanation. "… With you."

I wasn't looking up at him and at first, _he didn't react_. I thought that maybe he hadn't heard me, that maybe my words were muffled by his own body and that I would have to say them again. But then his hand was under my chin and forcing me to look up at him. Edward's eyes were darker now and I could see him fighting against _something_. … Maybe trying not to laugh at me again?

"Bella, … you don't have to." Edward said simply.

"But, … but I want to try?" I replied trying to look away again.

Edward smiled and pulled my lips to his. " In that case, you can do anything _you_ want. I love you so much!" He said happily.

I finally relaxed now and smiled up at him again. I leaned up just enough to kiss his lips and that lead to an even deeper kiss. Soon, I was leaning half on top of him and half kneeling beside him as we continued to kiss with him laying on his back. Edward's hands held me close to him and pulled me deeper into the kiss. I tried to hold myself mostly off of him … but _Edward had different ideas_. He pulled me down so I was rest on him and this intensified the kiss.

…

I was stalling now but my stalling was useless. _And selfish_. I could feel a different kind of twisting starting in my stomach. It wasn't nearly as pleasant as last time. My lungs felt stiff as I sat up next to him. I kept my eyes focused completely down over his knees, down over his feet. Finally I couldn't stall anymore. I looked up, first at his face. His eyes were kind, soft, but his jaw was sharp, pulled taught in restraint. I looked down then, and hesitantly, _curiously_, ran my finger from the rounded tip down the silky soft skin, _it was warm to the touch_, until I reached the base, then starting the circuit over again. Edward reacted. _Exploring was fun._

Edward groaned only this time it sounded annoyed or frustrated, I froze pulling away from him in fear I'd done something wrong. "Don't do anything you do not want to do. We can stop now if you'd like." He watched my face carefully.

I shook my head, catching my bottom lip between my teeth. "No, it's not that. I, … I just have no idea what I'm doing." I admitted with an embarrassed smile. "Its not like I've done this before."

He smiled at me. "Keep going then, you're doing fine." Edward told me and I relaxed into a easier smile.

I ran my finger along him again for a second, feeling the silky texture and then I wrapped my hand around him. I went slowly at first, exploring, as he had done. There was a strangled moan, and though I paused I didn't take my hand away this time.

"That feels amazing Bella." He encouraged me in a slightly strained voice; he swallowed thickly over another groan.

I was growing confident now and slowly wrapped my hand tighter around him as I worked. It wasn't too tight, _I hoped_, and since he didn't say anything or complained, I didn't think it was. I was trying different things and seeing what reactions I could get. Going slow was fun but when I started moving just a little faster, Edward seemed to really enjoy himself now. Moans and groans escaped him in strangled gasps and his breathing picked up. He was trying his hardest to remain still it seemed but after a few moments he just gave up and his hips started moving with my hand. If felt _empowering _to be able to made him react _**this way**_. Like he was finally loosing his control around me for once. _Edward was always so well in control of himself and everything around him_, so for me, this made me feel special. I felt as if I was actually good at this. Of course, there was just one other part of this I had to try. … The next step in my explorations really. Hesitantly as ever I carefully dipped my head down and I froze with _him _in my mouth.

…

He gasped, his eyes rolling back into his head. I fought against my gag reflex as my body tried to dislodge the foreign object in my throat. Instead I swallowed against the feeling. I could feel the muscles in my throat constrict against him, trying to pull him down. Edward groaned, clearly liking the feeling. _I wasn't sure if I did or not_? This was all very new to me and it seemed … _strange_. I'd never thought I'd ever want to try something like this before but in the moment it just seemed sort of natural; now that I was doing it, _I wasn't so sure anymore_. I was glad to see Edward so happy but I wasn't sure if I was comfortable doing this or not, _yet_. Slowly I started moving around. At first it was to try to see if I was ok with this now and then it was because he was reacting to what I was doing to him. Moving my head up and down and slowly carefully swirling my tongue around … _I really didn't even want to think about the words for it really_. But I wasn't planning on stopping just yet. I pulled out almost all the way, enough that I could circle my tongue around his head and then going back down. He murmured things I couldn't understand, though I did catch my name more then once. _I was feeling very weird still_. … This wasn't how things were supposed to be so I pulled away from him now. Edward looked up suddenly alert, his eyes popped open and his body jerked slightly. The way he looked when he first woke some nights after having a bad dream or something.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked quickly. "Are you ok, I told you that you didn't have to do this. I'm so sorry Bella."

"Its ok." I answered back quickly, this wasn't his fault so there was no reason for him to be saying sorry to me now. "I'm alright."

"Well, … what happened Bella?" He asked hesitantly.

"… I umm, well I just." I started but wasn't making sense. "Its weird, I'm sorry." I answered not looking at him.

"_Sorry_? … Bella, you never have to be sorry around me." Edward said confidently and smiled. "Besides, you have no idea just how amazing that was for me. I'm sorry that you didn't like it very much but I would have never asked you to do this Bella."

"I know. I wanted to, remember?" I asked and smiled now that I knew he wasn't going to get mad at me for stopping this. "Maybe we can try that again some other time. … Maybe it will be less weird to me later, once we've had more practice and all."

"Whatever you say, Bella." Edward responded and pulled me back so I could lay next to him before kissing me passionately.

Kissing was nice. No matter what kind of kissing, _as long as I was kissing Edward_, I was happy. Of course, all the other stuff was nice too, very nice really … but kissing was just fun! I couldn't get enough of Edward and every time I kissed him I only want to keep kissing him and never stop. I'd kiss him all day if I could. I never wanted to stop and at the same time I wanted more, more than just kisses … I wanted him again. This was getting insane!

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked. "You're frowning."

"Oh, sorry." I whispered as I pulled back.

He pulled me back in his arms. "No, don't say sorry." Edward said. "Just tell me what's wrong. Please Bella, why the frown?"

"It was nothing." I said quickly and turned away so he couldn't read my face anymore. "I was just thinking something stupid."

Edward pulled my face back up to look at him again. He stared into my eyes and silently begged me to explain. I didn't want him to know just how pathetic I was becoming and I didn't want to believe that I wanted him so much. And I did _want _him. _A lot_. It was getting really weird just how fast I could go from _not _thinking about this to just wanting Edward and _nothing else_.

"You're driving me crazy right now and, … and all I want is to stay in bed with you." I finally whispered and looked away blushing again. "I told you it was stupid so can we just drop it now?"

"That wasn't stupid." Edward said pulling me to him again and forcing me to look up. "I want you just as much, Bella."

Edward was laying on his back with me now leaning against his side and my head on his chest. He was smiling up at me and I couldn't help smiling back … _even if mine came with a blush_. He leaned up and gently kissed my lips once before sitting up slightly and pulling me into a deeper kiss again. My blush was slowly fading away as we continued to kiss and touch, with moving. This was starting to become as normal as breathing for us.


	32. Ch32 Watching TV

Ch32 Watching TV

Bella's POV.

Edward and I spent most of the day in bed as I had planned, exploring and just enjoying each other's company. We weren't really trying anything new but my focus was lasting a little bit longer with each new round. I was amazed with all the new feelings and experiences I was gaining. Everything seemed so intense and the more I remembered the more I enjoyed this. I can't seem to keep this silly lazy smile from my face any longer. Edward chuckled, pulling me against him. His hand ran down my back and over my hair. I sighed contently, moving closer to his body. Goose bumps rose up the skin of my arms and I shivered. Edward wrapped his arms around me tightly. Fingers brushed my bumps.

"Do you want a blanket?" He murmured quietly, tracing the bumps on my arm, only succeeding in producing more.

I shook my head. "I'm fine." I mumbled.

Edward was silent, holding me and rubbing my back lightly. "Are you sure you're okay?" He wondered after a moment.

"Yeah. I'm warm now." I kissed the bottom of his jaw.

Softly his fingers fluttered up my neck, lightly tracing my lips. Then Edward tilted my head up fractionally and touched my lips with his in a soft kiss. My hand slid down his bare chest until I could feel the steady beat of his heart. Edward smiled against my lips before parting them gently. His head tilted to the side and his tongue slipped inside to touch, and taste. His tongue teased mine and my breath caught, our lips whispering together. I don't know what changed or who started it, but suddenly we were kissing hard. Instead of the shy touching from before, he was becoming more confident. Edward's mouth was demanding on mine, our tongues flipping between dancing and sparring. His one hand was twisted in my hair while the other was exploring along and across my ribs. I was suddenly _very _aware of him pressing up against my stomach. Edward released my lips only to start kissing down my neck, lifting my body up higher on him so he could kiss lower, his lips brushing across my collar bone before working back up my neck.

…

I wasn't quite sure how but somehow we ended up so that Edward was laying on his back again and I was sitting beside him. Leaning close enough so I was … _exploring _his body with my hands again. Exploring _was _fun but the reactions he was making was what made me want to try again. Edward's moans and groans were very pleasant to me but he was also so adorable that I couldn't stop smiling. His bare chest was smooth and warm to the touch and with my light movements, Edward had his eyes closed and was slightly shivering under my touch. With every reaction I was getting out of him the more I wanted to continue my explorations. The more I wanted to try again … _for him _… because it would make him happy. I leaned down and carefully, hesitantly placed my mouth on him again. Slowly with light kisses and licking at first but steadily gaining my confidence as his responses increased with his pleaser. I continued until I felt pressure starting. He was trying his hardest not to move his hips but every now and again, _he failed_. I felt the way his breath hitched, getting faster and it was only then that I took him in fully. I angled my throat, caressing the under side of him with my tongue. His hips bucked up again. I pulled out, just enough to take another breath when my mouth filled with warm, thick liquid. It tasted like something _familiar_, but with a salty, musky edge. I swallowed it. _Harsh at first and left an after taste_. I pulled away, licking my lips. I could still taste it but was unable to define it. Interesting as it was I had no words for the strangeness.

He grinned back. "Are you sure, you haven't done this before?" He asked with playful skepticism, slightly out of breath.

I smiled again. "Of course not." I said innocently. "If I had, you'd still be the only person to know about it." I collapsed back against the bed blushing slightly.

Edward instantly pulled me in his arms, crushing me against his chest. "Thank you." He whispered and ran his hand through my tangled hair, working out the knots. "It's never felt so good to have someone else in control of something for me before."

"_Really_?" I thought about that for a moment while Edward gave up on untangling, instead he prompted me to rollover onto my back with a gentle nudge … _I allowed this with a soft smile_.

"Yes, really." Edward said as he rolled over to hover against me, kissing my skin as he moved into our new position.

My entire body was singing for him now and I desperately wanted to kiss him now. I leaned up at the same time I was pulling his head up to reach my lips. This kiss wasn't deep but it was filled with passion and a new fire that seemed to warm my chilled skin. I could feel it on his skin as well and I could also feel other things. I smiled against his lips, reaching down to pump him. For one long second his lips stopped moving, and then he was kissing me with force that left me breathless. I could feel his body rocking in time with my movements. _I liked this_. I liked that I was good at this, _or at least that's how Edward made me feel_. I was glad I could give back to him in some way for all the night time visits when he would lay beside me, play with my hair, talk in whispers to me until I fell asleep. I loved how easy it was to be with him, how he could make me laugh and how I could have a stimulating conversation with him. I liked how I could feel comfortable. Easy as breathing, that's how he made everything feel for me.

…

Soon Edward must have had too much because he was taking back his control again. Leaning on his elbow, he removed my hand from him and pinned me to the bed while his other hand moved down between us. I felt every movement he was making and the instant his hand reached a very needy part of me now. His low throaty groan was only slightly heard over my own, moan of pleaser. This time it was my body that was rocking with his movements and _I couldn't have tried to stop them even if I wanted to_, which I didn't. Before long he was nudging my legs out of his way and was inside. I gasped and arched my back into him and then I was gone again.

…

My mind was coming back to me and I wasn't as freaked out as I had been the other times. I was focusing back and noticed we were still in the middle of things now. Suddenly all the feelings and movements around me intensified. Every muscle in my body moved with sudden tremors and then went limp. I collapsed on top of Edward's glistening body. Breathing hard and sharp like him. Edward's arms wound around me holding me close to him as we tried to catch our breaths. This had been the point I was reaching where my muscles refused to hold me anymore. I couldn't even sit up on Edward. As we laid there without moving, his breaths started coming regularly again, and he lifted my heavy head so he could see my face. I struggled to keep my eyes open and smiled at him. A slow smile curved up his lips in return and then he moved me beside him, tucking the warm covers around me, and then wrapping his arms around me. I sighed content with the world.

"I love you." Edward whispered and he kissed the back of my head. "So much Bella. Go to sleep and I'll be here when you wake up."

So I snuggled my heavy head back into his chest and drifted off to sleep in the arms of my wonderful husband. The happiest girl on the planet. I slept peaceful with him here after everything and woke with a lazy smile still glued to my lips. I looked over to see Edward. He had pushed the covers down to his waist sometime in the night. _When had the covers been brought back to the bed and where had they been all this time_? Looking back at him I realized I didn't care anymore. His body gleamed white in the soft light from the moon. He was glowing and everything seemed so perfect. Though, I was surprised to find him asleep. He was usually the one watching me sleep in the morning hours or even at night I guess, Edward rarely ever got enough sleep it seemed. But I was the same way. He sighed contently in his sleep, pulling me closer into him. He had one arm wrapped around my waist and that was enough to hold me to him. I gladly cuddled into him. His arm was warm and where I was resting with, _my ear pressed against his chest,_ I could hear the slow, steady, _vital_ sound of Edward's heart. It was so perfect that my own heart ached, my chest swelling with warmth for the wonderful creature beside me. I was just as content as him.

…

Well, I _was _content. … That was until a certain morning routine caught up with me and I couldn't put it off any longer. Soon I had no choice but to get out of his arms and try not to wake him. I carefully and slowly moved his arm from around my waist to start. That wasn't as hard as I feared it would be but then I had to move even slower to move out of the bed without moving it too much. When one of my movements made a spring pop under me I froze, I thought it would wake him but he only slightly stirred before rolling over onto his side. His back was facing me now and I could see that he brought the blankets up to cuddle to his chest. He looked so adorable that I just smiled for a second. I started to leave the room before I noticed the chill in the air and then remembered that I was still naked. _This seemed to be a reoccurring dress for us on this island_ and with the normally warmed air, it wasn't a problem. I started the search for my clothes. It was _impossible_ how scattered they were, he had thrown them all over the room. I shot him a dirty look as he slept peacefully when I saw that my underwear was half hidden under his bedside table. Then finally I found my bra kicked under the bed along with my shirt. _I bet it was intentional_, purposely hiding my clothes so I'd be naked when I woke up. Edward seemed to like keeping us both undress here. Once I found my clothes I decided it was probably time to find a new outfit anyway, since these had been on the floor for this long. I rushed off to change cloths and freshen up a bit. When I was finally finished I wasn't sure what to do now, I didn't want to risk waking him by sneaking back into bed but I didn't know this place. Instead I decided to just wonder around the house till I found a TV.

…

I must have dozed off while watching some show because I found myself opening my eyes to find Edward smiling at me. His smile didn't last very long though, he was looking at me frowning slight. I wasn't sure what was wrong with him but I was happy. My head was laying in his lap and I was stretched out on the couch beside him. Something about my position must have bothered him.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Edward asked.

"Like what?" I asked confused then looked down at myself.

I was wearing a simple light blue V-neck blouse and a silky black skirt. I realize it might seem stupid but I wanted to look nice since we were supposed to be on a happy honeymoon, which we were.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked still confused.

"Its on, that's the problem." Edward answered. "And you're not even in bed with me anymore. You got up to get dressed and then just left me alone … _to sleep_. It wasn't very nice, Bella."

I looked up at him shocked. "You have got to be kidding me?" I asked incredulously. "You're mad that I didn't come back to bed naked? … You really did want me to stay undressed, _didn't you_? I mean, you did _hide _my clothes after all. Wow, Edward!"

I was sitting up next to him and facing Edward now. I was practically glaring at him as I let him have it. Edward was now staring at _me _in shock with wide eyes. I guess its possible that I had taken his teasing just a little too far this time but I was tired and apparently … _a little cranky right now_. Plus it was a little insane that he was upset, _even if it was a joke_, that I had gotten dressed.

"Ok, so I was wrong." Edward said under his breath. "Next time I promise not to walk out here and find my wife sleeping on the couch and in a new outfit. I promise I won't be upset next time, in case you plan on leave the room without me again."

"Ha ha, very funny." I said sarcastically. "Edward, I'm not mad that you were joking just that its possible that you could be upset with me over getting dressed like that."

He chuckled now. "That doesn't make much sense, Bella." Edward told me with a soft smile.

"Oh, but getting upset that you're new bride got dressed and cleaned up while you were sleeping makes perfect sense?" I asked my voice dripping with sarcasm now.

"Well, no." Edward said simply. "Come on, Bella. I didn't mean any harm by it and besides … your face was just too adorable when you got all upset with me. You're cute when you are mad."

"Wow. … oh umm ok." I was stunned and to be honest … still a little tired and he was just being too sweet right now.

I sighed deeply before taking a calming breath and crawling over and snuggling with Edward. As I climbed over next to him, Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him. The TV was still showing some show on whatever channel I must have left it on but Edward picked up the remote to find something we would actually like to watch. At least, I thought that's what he was doing but he just turned the whole thing off instead. Then quickly pulled back the covers I hadn't realized were on me before back over us and rested his head comfortable on my head. Part of me didn't want to go back to sleep just yet but the other part, the bigger part, really didn't want to leave this spot either. I simply snuggled in closer to him and closed my eyes. Another nap couldn't hurt anything, after all, I'd have more energy for later.

…

"Bella, I want to go for a swim?" Edward half asked after we both woke up and had something delicious to eat, he cooked of course. "Please Bella, this island is so beautiful and I want to share it all with you. Plus its just getting hotter here and the water will feel really nice. I promise you'll enjoy it, can we?"

He was so cute, like a small child begging to go play. "Sure, Edward we can go swimming if you'd like." I answered with a smile and then stood to go get ready. "I'll be ready soon, ok?"

He muttered something and then rushed off into the bathroom, probably to get towels for us. I didn't really hear what he had said but it was most likely a thank you or something so I quickly rushed off into the other room were our bags were still sitting on that cart. Alice and Rose had packed most of my clothes so I know there would be some really scary looking things in there but I did pack a few things for my own comfort. Of course, I hadn't thought to pack any bathing suits I would be comfortable _since I didn't have a clue where we were going_. … I was at their mercy now, and I was fearful of what I might find when I started looking through my bag. I finally found one that didn't look as scary as the others, and _believe me _… they had some _I'd never even touch let alone wear_!

But this one seemed simple … maybe a little small but I'm sure _Edward _wouldn't mind that so much. At least, it looked like the best choice but when I tried to put it on … I had a little trouble. This simply looking thing was so confusing and frustrating but I was too afraid to go back and look at the others again. I suffered through and tried to figure it out on my own. Which I started to, _I think_. I was fiddling with the top a little more and so missed the sound of someone coming in. I didn't miss when Edward's arms wrapped around my bare waist, though. That made me freeze.

"That looks great." He commented quietly. "But I don't think it's on right."

"It isn't?" I asked frowning down at the top, _I hate this stupid thing_.

"Not at all." He murmured, and then he flicked open the front of my swim suit.

There had been a claps or something between my breasts that I had missed when I'd been trying to put it on originally. The top didn't have any sleeves or straps to keep it up, so the top just fell to the ground. He was smiling against my skin as he lightly kissed my bare shoulders and all I could do was stare with wide eyes at the wall in front of me, fighting the urge to cover my now exposed skin. He was my husband now so it wasn't like he was doing anything wrong but it still felt so strange to me. Standing before him, wearing nothing to cover my body … _standing here naked _with Edward behind me, still clothed probably. _Kissing my skin_.

"Much Better." Edward purred in my ear, gently dragging his teeth along my earlobe, _I shivered uncontrollably_.

Without warning, his arms were under my legs, knocking them out from under me, and catching my shoulders before I hit the floor, and then _without giving me any time to recover from the scare_, he carried me back onto the bedroom and placed me on the bed. He quickly joined me, hovering just above my body with a sly grin. His eyes were filled with lust and want. Then he _very obviously _let his eyes roam over my chest, his smile widening. I blushed deeply.

"You are so gorgeous." He whispered then his eyes came to the bottoms of the swim suite and he frowned. " But still something is still missing here."

"Yes, that would be my _top_." I said sarcastically.

It didn't go unnoticed to me that he was still fully dressed. Or at least he still had on a pair of jeans that I could feel rubbing against the smooth, silken-wax material of my swim suite bottoms. Heat was flooding between my legs at an alarming rate which caused me to blush slightly again. Edward was enjoying this a little too much.

"No, I don't think that's it." Edward pretended to think for a moment before pulling my bottoms down my legs and then dropping them on the floor with my forgotten top. "There, _that_ looks beautiful."

I looked at the swim suit on the floor. "I never thought of wearing it like that." I said thinking that it was probably for the best, I couldn't figure the damn thing out anyway.

Edward chuckled, shifting over me as he got undressed. I was more than willing to continue this little game of his until it lead to something very, very fun but I looked over at the glass doors and saw the sun getting closer to going down. Soon it would be too dark outside to even find the water … let alone swim around there.

"Edward, we really don't have time for this." I said with a sigh. "You wanted to go swimming and it will be getting late soon. How will be swim in the dark on an island?"

Edward was just in the middle of kicking his jeans off when he stopped to look at me. "Bella, we have plenty of time. I can be quick if I have to be." He said kicking his jeans off all the way, then dipped his waist so I could feel him straining against his boxers. "I want you." He whispered by my ear, making me shiver again.

He started to kiss down from my neck to my collar bone while I checked the door judging the amount of time we had. It still seemed like a few hours before sun down but my judge meant on that had never really been right in the past, so what did I know? Although this was Edward's idea and if he missed swimming because of it, … then its not really my fault so I shouldn't feel bad about this. I should just be happy and enjoy this.

I gave a resigned sigh. "How quick is quick?" I asked really wanting him now and not completely caring about going swimming anymore, other than the fact that he wanted to go swimming so badly before.

Edward moved to take my breast into his mouth, sucking and nibbling lightly then I gasped and arching into him. "You want to find out?" He wondered, letting my breast fall before taking the other one into his mouth.

"Yes," I breathed, _my eyes fluttering closed_, I was slowly quivering under him.

I felt Edward's smile form around my nipple, and then his lips were at my ear again. "Good, then we can go swimming and even if its dark I promise you won't get lost Bella." Edward murmured into my ear softly.

I nodded eagerly, my eyes opening in time to see Edward give me an amused look before he shed his boxers. Edward grinned down at me, the dull light from the glass doors made him look like he was glowing above me, and then with one well aimed thrust, he was inside of me. I arched my back, a throaty moan escaping me. Edward's body shook in quiet laughter before his mouth sealed itself over mine. My eyes closed again while Edward's tongue started to play with my mouth. One hand was supporting his weight over me while his other hand was palming my breast. I was quickly going mad. I gasped and moaned in time with his movements, unable to stop the sounds from coming up through my throat. Each of them fuelled by the pleasure that was licking up my spine and into my limbs and muscles until I was absolutely shaking.

Edward kissed my shoulder, rocking slowly inside me. "I love your body." He whispered to me. "There is no other place I'd rather be." He was quiet other than his hot breath caressing over my neck and saturating my hair.

The hand that was playing with my breast moved, sliding down between our rocking bodies and leaving a trail of fire where he touched me until reaching the source of all this heat. His thumb started to trace circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves above us. Edward captured my mouth again. The intensity of the feelings of pleasure were very nearly painful. My non existent nails managed to find purchase as I raked them down his back, bucking under him. Edward pressed his thumb tightly against my clit and I felt myself burst with pleasure. He started to grind his thumb into me, his mouth crushing mine as I cried out. And my mind was lost for a moment. … Then slowly, _unwillingly _… I came back to earth. But, Edward wasn't done yet. His mouth left mine, and I opened my eyes to see his eyes closed,. He was panting over me. His hand came back up to my breast _as my pleasure became secondary to him_ finishing quickly. I let him find his own release inside my body while I watched him. _This pleased me very much_. The pleasure wasn't quite the same, wasn't so physical, more of a devoutly intimate feeling. Edward's hand left my breast to slide under my shoulders, his other hand did the same and he lowered his body until his every movement brushed his skin across mine. His head dropped by my ear, and my mind was suddenly overwhelmed by the sound of his breathing, his almost too quiet to hear murmurs of _my name_. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling the pull of the muscles in his back under my hands. Edward's breath shuddered, and he drove himself deeper inside of me one last time. A shot of warmth raced through me. Then Edward lowered his body farther onto me, gasping for breath as he recovered. I smiled while he slowly started to recover himself and then rolled off of me again only to pull me back into his arms laying next to me. This had been a very wonderful experience!


	33. Ch33 A Little Swim

Ch33 A Little Swim

Edward's POV.

That, … that was just _amazing_, _**wonderful even**_. There are no other words capable of describing what had just happened now. Bella went off to get ready for swimming but she was taking so long so I went to find her. I found Bella in the bathroom in the hall trying to put on a swim suite. _It apparently wasn't going so well_ and at first I had walked over to help her out but something changed my mind. Instead _I ended up helping her out of it_. Which of course, lead to other things and soon enough Bella and I were in bed again. I really did want to go swimming with her but sometimes _Bella was just too desirable for her own good_. She was constantly making me want her. I really hadn't planned to be spending so much time in bed on or honeymoon … really I didn't realize how much this new experience with her would change me. I had no idea I would ever want this so much until we actually started doing things. Now, now I just never wanted to stop, but then I would remember that isn't very healthy. Bella has to _eat and sleep and breath _… so I had to remind myself to behave and take care of my wife. _**My wife**_, … I never got tired of thinking that. Bella was mine now, really all mine. My mind was racing it seemed and I couldn't seem to calm down the only thing calm about me was my body. It was so still and my eyes were closed … Bella probably thinks I'm sleeping.

"Wow." I breathed out suddenly.

"Hmm." Bella hummed back softly as he rested her head on my bare chest still, nodding ever so slightly in agreement with me.

"Did you still want to swim or are you too tired now?" I asked after a moment and my mind started to calm down a bit.

"No, you really wanted to so we can." Bella answered barely able to lift her head enough to look at face anymore.

I tried not to chuckled but she was just so cute, I gently kissed her forehead, then lightly on the tip of her nose just before leaning enough to softly peck her lips with a smile of my own.

"We can stay here and rest Bella." I told her, more than content to stay were I was at the moment. "We can go swimming later."

She started pouting her lips and her eyes half opened as she tried to wake up some. "No, … I wanna swim." Bella whispered.

I couldn't help it now, I chuckled. "Alright Bella." I told her with another kiss on the lips, she smiled brightly. "But that means we have to get up now and get you back in that swim suite." I sat up slowly and then a thought came to mind, I grinned back at her still laying on the bed beside me. "Unless of course, you'd rather try skinny dipping. Its not like there is anyone around to see us?"

Bella sat up and stretched. "Ha ha Edward." She said sarcastically and I was slightly disappointed. "Oh, … you were serious?" Bella asked surprised but I shook my head no for her.

"I was really mostly just joking." I answered quickly, which was true but I was a little disappointed that she didn't even give it a seconds thought, just flat out no. "Its nothing really."

"If you really wanted to, we could Edward." Bella said quickly suddenly more awake now then she had been seconds ago.

I smiled at her simply wiliness to please me. "No really. Honestly I'd like to see you try and put that swim suite back on." I said and thinking about it my smile grew even wider.

"But that thing is evil!" Bella exclaimed pointing to it on the floor. "I have no idea why you're sisters hate me so much."

I chuckled. "They don't hate you, Bella." I said as I picked it off the floor for her. "Here, I'll help you put it on this time."

She was frowning at the idea for some reason but allowed me to assist her in getting dressed. I wasn't sure why suck a simply thing has to be so damn complex but soon we both figured it out. _Bella was right it was evil _but when she was finally dressed, she looked stunning. The swim suite was rather tight but that was so it would stay on properly. Of course, _that doesn't mean I was complaining either way_. And then little strings were wrapping and crossing around her skin in ways that seemed to naturally draw my eyes to certain parts of her body … _not that I wasn't having a hard enough time keeping my eyes to myself_. Bella was absolutely perfect. She was standing before me as I still sat on the edge of the bed, my arms wrapped around her waist so she couldn't run away and hide.

"It shows too much." Bella whispered not meeting my eyes anymore. "And its too tight. I should go find a different one."

"No, Its perfect Bella." I answered as I forced her to look me in the face again, I was smiling up at her. "You're perfect."

A soft smile played with her lips before she simply leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "Thank you." Bella whispered against my skin and I smiled back at her. "So are you."

"Ok, good." I said as I stood up in front of her, keeping her wrapped in my arms. "Lets got swimming now!"

"But what about you?" Bella asked looking down and seeing that I still only had on my boxers since I was helping her dress.

I simply pointed over to dresser by the sliding glass doors, on top next to the towels were my swim trunks. It would be far less complicated for me to switch my clothes than it was for her. She nodded and then we both walked over towards the dresser. Bella grabbed the towels while I quickly changed and then took them from her. She glared at me slightly at first but didn't really argue. I took hold of her hand with a smile and we walked out into the cool dark air. It was rather late now and that meant the stars and moon would be out … this also meant that I would have to keep a very close hold on Bella. _It was bad enough letting her walk around on a flat surface during the day_, walking on slippery sand and water at night … in the dark was just plain deadly. I placed the towels on a tree that happened to be placed perfectly along the beach and continued on into the water. Bella was smiling up at me the entire time. The water was still warm considering the late night hours. At first I didn't want to take her too far out, not knowing what could be swimming around with us or how strong the tide would be tonight. Waist deep was as far as I went to start and Bella seemed to be happy with this as she wrapped her arms around my neck as we drifted along in the water. _The longer we stayed in the water the farther out I started to go_ … soon she had to cling to me just to stay above the water line and _honestly I just wanted to go farther_. I wanted Bella to have to get closer to me just so I could hold her tighter, so I could keep her safe in my arms and never let her go.

"I'm going to look like a prune." Bella complained softly as she looked around at her hands that were still around my neck.

"A very adorable prune." I answered back smiling unwilling to get out and let her leave just yet.

We needed to make the most of our time together. I wanted something more then just the physical to remember of our time here. I wanted to enjoy just being with her and from more then just our times of pure bliss together in the beds. Not that they weren't the highlights of my day but just that I didn't want to become some

total sex freak and forget about everything else about her that matters to me. There is so much about Bella that I love and not just her body and how wonderful she can make me feel. _Which is a lot_. Bella is what matters to me, all of her … everything about her! I love her and I need to remember to show her that without … sex.

"Lets go back in, Bella." I said simply as I started swimming us back towards the shore. "Its getting really late and you're tired."

Bella simply shrugged. "Whatever you say, Edward." She leaned her head against me and allowed me to carry her inside.

As I passed I grabbed the towels but didn't bother to stop with them. I took us back inside through the glass doors but I didn't stop in the room. We were still soaking wet and covered in sand and stuff. I'm sure Bella didn't want to crawl into bed like this so I rushed off into the bathroom and was going to start the shower for us. I sat Bella down on the counter of the sink, it was huge so there was plenty of room. After I wrapped the towels around her to keep her warm, I turned back to the shower and started the hot water. Once the water was at the perfect temperature I turned back towards Bella, … only now, _hesitant about what to do_. What if she'd rather shower alone, its different then being in bed naked with someone, right? I smiled up at her and was about to walk out of the room, leaving her to get cleaned up alone when Bella jumped off the counter and started undressing again. I tried to turn away, advert my eyes at least but her innocently deep chocolate eyes held my in an inescapable grasp. I was helpless with her here.

"What's wrong Edward?" Bella asked naively as she came to walk closer to me, completely undressed again. "Aren't you getting cleaned up with me? We were both swimming, right?"

I opened my mouth to speak but it was too dry, I tried to swallow. Bella closed the distance between us again and lightly ran her hand down my bare chest, fingertips just feathers across my skin. The steam from the shower and the soft touches making my body shiver. My eyes closed without permission and all I wanted to was to wrap her in my arms and steal her away again. I swallowed and shook my head to clear it before opening my eyes to look down at her. Bella was smiling shyly up at me, she knew what she was going to me the whole time. She was doing this on purpose. This honeymoon was sure to be the death of me now. But, at least, I'd die the happiest man who had ever lived before I go. _I had Bella_!

"Shower. … now." I choked out, trying not to sound too demanding … which was hard with my mind all fuzzed up.

"Yes, Sir. Mr. Cullen." Bella said in a serious tone and then pulled away from me to walk over to the shower. "_Coming_?"

_Not yet_. … I swallowed hard again. "I'll be right there." I answered back trying my best to smiling easily, _I failed_.

Bella was giggling as she stepped inside and I could hear the difference when she was under the water. I tried to not think about it as I calmed myself. … _I failed again and soon it didn't really matter to me anymore_. I turned around and climbed inside with her. She was smiling brightly just under the waterfall from the shower head, ever inch of her was dripping wet again. Her hair was matted to her head and water drops ran through and down onto her skin as even more splashed around her. I was stunned, she was completely breathtaking and all mine … _forever_. Finally the space between us must have been too much for me because I pulled her towards me suddenly and then we were both under the spray of water. Every inch of her skin was touching mine and we were just holding each other under the water. I couldn't bare to move just yet and she seemed content so I didn't feel so bad about holding her hostage. Eventually I realized I couldn't put this off any longer and so I grabbed the washcloth and started rubbing the soapy lather across her stomach. I wasn't sure how she'd feel about me washing her but at the moment I just really wanted to touch her … _even if it was just to clean her_. So I started washing off what was left of the muck from our swimming outside. Just standing here had taken most of it away already but that didn't stop me from covering every inch of her skin. … _Just to be safe after all_. As I worked Bella seemed to completely relax under the water and at some points even let out soft sighs of content. Each time making me smile.

…

By the time I was finished cleaning both of us Bella looked completely soothed and ready to fall asleep again. Which was what I had hoped would happen, she really did need her rest now. I turned off the now cooled water and quickly wrapped Bella in a huge towel to keep her as warm as possible. Dabbing her dry I was doing my best to keep most of her weight off of her, she looked about ready to drop any second. I carried her to the bed, wrapped in the towel and just didn't bother to worry about myself at the moment. She was too tired to protect my actions and just leaned into me, which I was very grateful for tonight. I laid Bella on the bed and carefully unwrapped the towel from around her, covering her with the blankets instead. Before climbing in myself I dried off quickly and brought the towel back into the bathroom hamper. It seemed silly knowing that a beautiful Bella was waiting for me just in the other room but my mother had raised me better than to just leave wet towels laying around. _Clothes on the floor in the heat of the moment was_ … _apparently a different matter all together_. I quickly rushed back just in time to see Bella roll over in her sleep, her arm was stretching out and her hand was grasping for something. I walked over and laid down beside her, Bella cuddled into my side instantly and sighed happily. I chuckled softly and kissed the top of her head before snuggling in for the night.

"Its alright Bella." I whispered to her softly. "I've got you so just go on and sleep now. Everything's alright Bella."

A small barely there smile slipped across her face before it completely relaxed again. Bella was out cold shortly after that. And for as tired as I was feeling, I some how managed to force myself awake enough to watch her dream for just a little while. She was so peaceful and happy that it made it hard to keep my eyes open. That night much like Bella, I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face and a feeling of complete comfort with her safe in my arms.

…

Then next morning I woke feeling refreshed and happy and that lasted about five seconds before I turned and found the bed to be empty next to me. Bella was once again gone and although I wasn't as panicked as I probably would have been before, my heart still skipped a beat or two. I mean, we were alone on an island what really could have happened? Bella clearly just woke up and got out of bed … but my problem was where and why? _What something wrong or was she just in the bathroom_? I didn't know, and I was about to go find out when I heard foot steps just outside the door. I laid back down and closed my eyes pretending to sleep again. When I heard the door open and close quietly I tried to stay as relaxed and as still as possible. There were soft footsteps at first but then they stopped, she was hesitating for some reason. Then she started again and I felt the bed dips slightly, she was trying not to wake me as she climbed back in. _Little did she know I was already awake and waiting for her to come join me_. She seemed to just be sitting there for a moment and then I felt something brush very gently across my face, … _her fingers maybe_. I wanted to badly to move into the touch and smile at the feeling but I did my best not to move, not _yet _anyway. The touches continued and she was lightly tracing my features now, making harder to stay still. I was getting to the point _where I couldn't remember why I was trying to hold back in the first place_, but she didn't know I was awake so I held strong and didn't move an inch. _It was hard_. I couldn't take it anymore, I made a move to stir in my '_sleep_' and then rolled over slightly so that I could fake waking up. Bella pulled back her hand and when I looked up at her she smiled shyly. I could see her blush forming under her skin and she looked down.

"Sorry." She whispered softly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It was a nice way to wake up, though." I corrected her.

I noticed that she was simply wearing one of the house robes and seemingly nothing under it, I was please with this. Finding Bella sleeping on the couch was very cute. … Finding that she had got all dressed up _even though it was just the two of us here was very sweet _but at the same time, _I really wasn't happy_. I liked waking up knowing she would be by my side and wearing nothing because we both fell asleep after making love the night before. _Something about that just seemed to make it more special_. Plus waking up naked made starting all over again in the morning just that much easier. _The less she was wearing the more fun we could have_. Of course, she wouldn't always agree with me … _but at least this time she listened_ and didn't go running off to get dressed again. I pulled her back down and we ended up laying together, _cuddling_. It was simple and sweet … _this was perfect_, just what we needed now.


	34. Ch34 More Experimenting

Ch34 More Experimenting

Bella's POV.

After taking a shower with Edward last night, I fell asleep and was deeply disappointed with myself the next morning. He was sleeping next to me and _we were both very much still naked_. At first I was panicking, thinking we had had sex and I missed everything again … _but there was no please zing or aching pleasure_ so I assumed not. He just must have not bothered to dress us before drifting off to sleep himself. I got up and grabbed a robe again, instead of dressing, and rushed to the bathroom to refreshing up again. For some reason _I was feeling very hot and clammy when I woke up_. When I got back to the room I hesitated just inside, I really didn't want to wake him up but didn't want to leave again. Slowly and carefully I sat back on the edge of the bed, I was just going to watch him sleep until he woke up but then he looked so tense. Like he was having a bad dream or something so I touched his cheek trying to sooth him. His jaw clenched slightly but that was all, so I tried again to calm him with my touch. At first it seemed to be working, his features relaxed slightly under my touch but they still stayed tight. Then Edward stirred and rolled onto his side before slowly waking up and looking at me. I smiled embarrassed that I had woke him, unsure of how he'd react. Of course he was ok with it and then he pulled me to him so we could go back to sleep again. Sleeping was easy with him around.

…

My mind was slowly waking when I felt something twitch between my legs. Edward's hand somehow managed to be laying between us and in his sleep was inching closer to me. I felt my body freeze into place and tried to think of what to do about this. He was getting dangerously close to some place he shouldn't be in his sleep. I also didn't want to try and move him because I was afraid I'd just wake him up again. Every time his hand twitched it came closer and closer … I was slowly loosing my mind again. Edward was sleeping and he was still making me want him, _this was so not fair on soooo many levels_! I tried to ease away from him but it didn't help when I shifted so did he, the dip I made moving just made Edward roll back into me and his hand moved farther up my leg than it had been before. Now he was just centimeters away.

"Edward." I whispered trying to wake him just enough to move and then let him drift back to sleep.

"Hnn" Edward groaned softly, clearly unwilling to wake up enough to move his hand right now.

_Or not_! He did move his hand just … _in the wrong direction_. Edward was still lost in his dreams while I was fighting the urge to rock my body against him. _It was difficult to say the least_. I tried again to wake him but this time he didn't even budge. His hand however, continued to twitch against me and I was trying not to squirm because of the feeling. Edward needed to wake up now!

"Edward!" I said a little louder now and shook his shoulders just ever so slightly to get him to wake up now.

In the next second I found myself flying through the air, or at the very least _being moved really quickly_. Edward had suddenly opened his eyes and grabbed my waist only to flip us so he was laying on his back and I was now sitting on top of him. _Trying to get my head back for spinning_, I shook it and had to grab his shoulders to stable myself. Once I was calm I had enough sense to glare down at his grinning face. Edward's hands were still holding my hips and locking me into place as I straddled his stomach. He had been awake for a while now, possibly the whole time and _now he had me just were he wanted me_. I wasn't too happy at the moment but it was becoming increasingly difficult to stay mad at him with his smile being so damn bright and happy!

"What are you doing?" I asked demandingly … or at least I _tried _to make my voice sound _demanding_. "Edward you weren't sleeping!"

"_Well _… you didn't ask if I was or not." Edward defended himself shamelessly. "Besides, your face was too adorable."

"You always say that." I replied dully while rolling my eyes at him, he was still grinning like crazy. "That was mean, Edward."

I was looking down at him from where I sat on his stomach and noticed … _a little late_, that we were both still naked. _We were naked _and I was sitting and straddling Edward where he could easily see every _important _part of me. I instantly started blushing as I tried to look anywhere but at Edward. He wasn't having that though and tried to lock my eyes with his. Of course it worked and I was frozen in place, unable to look away as I wished to.

"Its not mean. I wanted you here Bella." Edward said confidently. "I just didn't tell you I was awake and was about to move you myself, that's all. I wasn't trying to be mean."

"Why on earth would you want me _here_?" I asked shocked.

He simply grinned up at me and made an obvious move to rake his eyes up and down my body. I was sure before that my blush couldn't get any redder _but I had been wrong_. Once again my blush deepened and Edward's grin simply grew brighter and he looked up at me. I could guess now just what he wanted when he moved me here and to be honest I wanted to be here too. I was just a little nerves because I still had no idea what I was really doing. Edward must have endless patience to put up with my naïve explorations. I cautiously and carefully moved myself into place, _it was much easier in theory_. I rolled my hips slowly, moving up and then back down. Edward's eyes fluttered closed and a soft sound escaped him. It was an ok start I guess, I just wish I was better at all this new stuff. I tried some different things, watching how different movement affected Edward. As I was slowly coming back down, I circled my hips around him. I could feel him caressing my insides, sending jolts of electricity through me. This making it hard to keep my focus but it was easier when I was the one controlling things.

…

At a while of me trying different thing, Edward's eyes snapped open and he grabbed my hips, pulling me down sharply on him. His unexpected plunge, _deeper then I had ever had him in me_, had me gasping out his name. His hands stayed on my hips, guiding me now that he had lost his patience with my boundless curiosity. I tried to helped him with the pace he was setting for us. Edward watched my face now while I struggled to keep from closing my eyes. It was so hard not to just give into the pleasure completely. I started to move us faster. The faster we went the more sounds he was making and I found myself making similar please of pleasure as I tried desperately to cling to my attention and concentration. My focus was slipping in and out but everything was so intense and mind numbingly awesome that it didn't matter really. My muscles became so tight and twisted that it almost hurt and then everything released and my muscles relaxed in the best ways. I completely collapsed on top of him and I could barely move now. Every part of my was slightly shaking and I was smiling as I tried to catch what little breath I could get. Edward's arms wrapped around me as he allowed me to regain a little bit of myself.

"Wow." I kissed his chest. "Thank you." I murmured and then I had an idea, I kissed a little lower on his chest, shooting him a glance.

"It should be me thanking you, Bella." Edward said as he barely lifted his head to look up at me now. "Of all your expressions, _that_ one scares me the most." He muttered darkly. "It means you're planning something."

"Maybe … maybe not." I answered undeterred from my plan and I kissed a little lower. "I'll just have to wait and see."

I kissed just above his belly button. Edward was laughing at my comment until his body tensing for a short moment and I thought I found where Edward was ticklish. _I'd have to explore that a little later_. For now I was looking for a different goal to achieve. I continued my path down and then kissed a few inches below his belly button. I smiled to myself and kissed him again in the same place, open mouthed this time. When Edward still didn't stop me, _his breath coming out in a breathless shudders_, I started to suck at the skin, finally starting my plan. I wasn't sure if I was any good at this but Edward wasn't giving me any signs to stop. There was a sudden movement close beside my head. I jumped back startled. Edward burst into laughter at my wide eyed startled expression as I saw his manhood was standing up and ready. Edward seemed to be more amused by my reaction then what I had been trying to do.

"Did I startle you?" He asked between chuckles.

"No," I said instantly and then I blushed while looking down at my hands. "Just a little surprised at how quickly it happened."

Edward covered his mouth and turned his head away, trying desperately to cover his laughter to keep from offending me. It didn't work as well as he had hoped. I stuck my tongue out at him while he was distracted and went back to sucking on his abdomen. His laughing calmed and his hand touched the back of my head. I froze for a moment, I was sure he was going to stop me. _Maybe I had done something wrong_? I was just about to launch into my argument on how I was so new to all of this, but his hand just soothed down my hair. I relaxed into his touch once again.

"And you're sure you have never done this before?" Edward murmured almost inaudibly.

I pulled away to make a smart remark, _something about how he would be the only one to ever know if I had_, when I noticed how dark the mark I had been nursing was. It was nearly black and purple colored with angry red around the edges. _Oops_. I clapped a hand over my mouth, horrified. That wasn't what I had intended at all, I've seriously hurt him and he just allowed me to do this! _How had he not noticed that pain from this_? I felt Edward shift on the bed. I looked up to see he had moved onto his forearms to see what I had done. I didn't want to look up at him to see his reaction now.

He whistled, a long low impressed sound. "Remind me to keep you away from my neck." Edward spoke softly, teasing me.

I nodded. As much as I wished I would be good at this I hoped to never practice like that again. I was still fearful of looking back up at him and couldn't seem to keep my eyes off the offending mark. And then without giving me any warning or opportunity to stop him again Edward grabbed me. He pulled me towards him while he was grinning up at me. Caught off guard as I was, we fell back onto the bed. My breath huffing from my lungs.

"Stop that." He commanded brightly.

"You're supposed to warn someone before you attack." I muttered sharply as I tried pulling the air back into my lungs.

I turned around on him quickly so that my legs were on either side of his chest and I was facing his feet. I pecked the mark and kissed downwards, sucking gently but _not leaving anymore marks_. I had done more than enough damage with that. When I came to it, I skipped over his man hood; instead I hesitated with him brushing the inside of my breast. I still wasn't sure if I was doing this right and Edward wasn't really helping me much. Giving me nothing to go on as far as if things were ok or not. _It was highly unfair_!

"Will you tell me if I'm doing something you don't like?" I asked, still hesitant but willing to try again with a little feed back.

Edward was silent a moment. "If you'd like, but I want you to remember that everyone makes mistakes. This doesn't have to be perfect Bella and so far everything else has been great!"

_Right_, I took a breath to steady the butterflies in my stomach before I leaned down and kissed somewhere on his leg between his knee and his upper thigh. I didn't get a reaction from him. I sucked gently at the skin but I still didn't get a reaction. I frowned.

"I thought you were going to tell me …" I started but he cut me off.

"If I _didn't_ like something." Edward finished for me. "I never agreed to tell you what feels good or neutral." Edward's hands came up to cup my ass, massaging the skin. "I do have a question though. Am I allowed to touch you while you experiment?"

Edward continued to distract me putting emphasis on his question. He dipped one finger inside me and I bit my lip fiercely to hold in my reaction. His finger curled down towards my stomach. I cried out, my back arching. I was slowly loosing my mind with just a single touch and this was supposed to be my time to make him crazy. _This was really not fair and had to be stopped _… now!

"No, none of that." I gasped between clenched teeth.

Edward sighed and his hands disappeared from me before I could completely loose myself to him. I sighed too, though mine was more in relief rather than disappointment. I shook my head trying to figure out where I was. I moved back to where I had been before I dipped my head between his legs to kiss the inside of his thigh. I got the slightest twitch from him but still silence. So I moved again this time back to the start where his erection was in front of me instead of under me,

and then I licked from the mark on his abdomen up until I reached the base of his arousal. I flattened my tongue and licked up until I reached the very tip, wrapping my lips around just the head and sucking. Edward's legs quivered. I smiled to myself before getting more confident and going all the way down until I had him fully in my mouth, moving my neck so he didn't press against the tender skin. _This was still such an odd feeling but I was slowly getting used to the weird sensations_. I swallowed around him and, _in a daring leap of courage_, tried gently brushing my finger across his … testis. _I wasn't sure what a better word would be for them_? Edward suddenly swore and bucked into my mouth sharply.

I pulled away instantly. "Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"No." Edward gasped, swallowing audibly. "You did something very, _very_ good."

I hesitated before moving back down on him, only taking part of him into my mouth and using varying rhythms with my hand. Moving opposite to how my mouth was moving, moving in time with my mouth, sucking gently on the tip again and exploring with my tongue around the slit and the skin directly under the head while pumping my hand along the whole of his shaft. Edward's entire body was shaking slightly under me and he hadn't once called out '_stop_' or said I wasn't doing something right. I got the courage to start to explore lower again. I squeezed gently around the base of his erection while doing the same to his testis and sucking just as gently on the head. I moved my mouth away to try to see his reaction. His eyes were closed, lips parted, his hands where gripping the bars of his headboard like a lifeline, and his chest was moving up and down in short, rapid breaths. I smiled proudly and took him back into my mouth again, starting a synchronized rhythm between my hand and my mouth while I caressed the under side of his testis with my finger. Edward jerked under me unexpectedly and I lost my balance, my hand fell to catch my balance and my mouth came off of him altogether.

"Stopping doesn't feel good! Stopping feels really _bad_, Bella." Edward gasped.

It wasn't until I heard him that I realized my hand had stopped pumping him in my attempt to stop falling. I started just working him with my hand while I tried to clear my head again. Now that my head was thinking clearly again I started trying to see different things Edward liked. Watching what I was doing and watching his reactions was becoming very enjoyable. I cocked my head and pressed down gently. Edward started speaking, though his words sounded hard to hear and muttered so softly. I had an idea for one major experiment. I pumped him with my hand, fast and hard while my other hand moved in a clockwise motion on him. Suddenly I took his testis into my mouth and sucked gently. Edward cried my name out. It wasn't until I felt a hot shot of liquid on my breasts that I realize where I had angled him and understanding came.

"Oh!" I cried, and sat up startled.

I went to stand for no other reason than I was surprised and ended up tipping slightly and falling back when the bed depressed under my weight. I curled myself for impact, waiting for my head to crack against the head board and _hoping Edward would dress me before rushing me to the hospital_. Instead, I landed beside Edward on the pillow, my chest heaving almost as fast as his was. My eyes were wide in alarm while Edward's were closed, his smile incredibly peaceful. _He also seems to be completely unaware of my klutzy stumble for which I am completely grateful_!

I relaxed slowly, smiling at his expression. He opened one eye lazily at me with his own crooked smile before his eye slid closed again. In a sudden and unexpected moment, his eyes flew open and he was on his side looking down at my chest with an intensely remorseful expression. At first I was more shocked and confused as to what could be wrong, had he forgotten we were naked here?

"Oh god, Bella, I'm so sorry." He apologized, reaching behind him to grab some tissues from a Kleenex box on the bedside table on his side.

"It's fine." I mumbled distractedly while I heard him ripping the tissues from the box, muttering agitatedly to himself.

The sticky and thick liquid on my breasts had cooled to skin temperature and I had almost forgotten it was there. His sudden reaction brought my attention back to it. I swiped my finger through some, examining the warm whitish fluid. Curiously, I popped my finger into my mouth to see what it tasted like. The interesting taste was hard to describe, seemed to taste more like Edward with a little of the musky salt tang. I become conscious of a lack of movement beside me in contrast to just a few moments ago to Edward's flurry of movement. My eyes flickered to where I knew Edward was only to see him staring at me, a handful of tissues balled in his frozen hand. I blushed, ducking my head. Edward groaned softly, staring at my lips. I licked them clean and then looked up to smile brightly. Edward stared at my lips a moment longer before shaking his head, looking like he was trying to clear it. He then grinned back at me crookedly, cleaning my chest off with the tissues. He worked very gently on me.

"I am sorry I didn't warn you. I was having a little trouble remembering where I was and then you …" He choked off and shook his head, swallowing thickly.

I thought about that. "What were you trying to say before? I couldn't understand you." I asked curiously.

Edward was still cleaning my chest of, trying to be thorough and gentle. "I think it was some kind of worship." His eyes flickered to my face for a moment before looking back to his work, a small smile pulling his lips up.

Edward grinned and reached over me to throw the used tissues in the garbage. The moment I heard them fall I pushed quickly against his chest so he was lying on his back and scrambled on top of him. I was about to ask if I could experiment again, maybe Edward had other triggers that would be useful to know. Plus there was still his ticklish spot to investigate. I grinned wickedly to myself. Experimenting was becoming very fun and I wanted to learn as much about Edward and his body as I could!

"Oh no you don't." Edward said as he sat back up and flipping us so he was now pinning me to the bed.

"But why not?" I complained and asked looking up very disappointedly at him now.

Edward chuckled softly. "Because my little lamb … you are in need of a good night's rest and we are running out of night hours." Edward smiled down at me reading the confused look on my face as to how he knew what the time was. "I've always been good at telling time but being here with you is making me forget the mere meaning of time itself. I've forgotten many things."

"But I'm not tired." I said pouting slightly.

I knew as soon as I said them, my words would matter. Edward was stronger than me and even if he wouldn't fight against me he would have little trouble keeping me pinned down. I'd at some point struggle enough until I'd tire myself out. Edward really has no trouble putting me to sleep even in the brightest of lights. So here, alone in this dark room … _I'd be out in no time at all_! This magical power he has over me really isn't all that cool. … Well its interesting and new but sometimes its unfair. I'm more used to putting other people to sleep … I'm used to taking care of others not being the one people take care of. Edward really does want to make me feel like the most spoiled person ever but I just don't know how that feels so all of this is really new to me. Sometimes it hard for me to just give in and let him take care of me but maybe sometimes I could throw him a bone and just go with the flow. Maybe I could just lay here in his arms and drift away to sleep.


	35. Ch35 Our Big News!

Ch35 Our Big News!

Edward's POV.

Bella and I have spent so many wonderful weeks here on this island and after a while it was like the rest of the work didn't matter anymore. The only thing that matter was Bella here with me and we were together in this happy perfect bubble! I couldn't possibly ask for anything better for a honeymoon with an angel. After a mouth or so we started calling everyone back at home to catch up and just see how much the world was changing without us knowing. It was starting to feel like we could be missing more than we would have realized but not in a bad way. … _A very good way_! Bella and I were sure how much longer we would be staying but Esme made no rush for us to return as long as she was the first we visited before going home. A simple request that we were more than happy to agree to and so we had an endless time of happiness. Of course going home wouldn't be much different since, _unknown to Bella_, we already have a place to call a home. As another wedding gift for Bella, my family has been hard at work to fix up the wonderfully small cottage I'd bought for us to live together.

…

Sitting here, watching Bella sleeping I know she wouldn't be pleased to know that I already bought us a place but after stumbling onto this little property I couldn't pass it up. This beautiful little place was perfect for Bella, it was humble and magical all at the same time and I know the second she see it, she'll fall in love just as much as I had. Esme and the others will add all the little finishing touches to make it perfect before we get home.

"Stop watching me." Bella muttered with her eyes still closed and I couldn't stop smiling at how cute she looked.

"I'm sorry Love." I whispered softly. "I can't help staring at the most beautiful thing here."

She slowly sat up and rolled her eyes. "So you're saying if we were in a house full of models you'd have something else to stare at then?" Bella asked half teasing, her voice dripping with sarcasm but underneath I could hear the painful truth.

"Do you honestly think I'd rather have some model here with me now?" I asked completely appalled by the idea.

"Oh come on, Edward!" Bella scoffed. "I know you would. Any man would be happy to marry a young, hot little thing!"

"Your beauty surpasses any and all that could come from a model Bella. Your beauty is pure and true, unlike the fake and flawless ones advertised in those stupid magazines." I explained shocked.

"Exactly. … Flawless, which I am not." Bella argued once again shrugging her shoulders now. "I'm not mad, its only natural for you to want something better. Any guy out there would."

"I'm not just any guys Bella and I wouldn't trade places with any man out there." I answered honestly … _just thinking about someone else holding her made my blood boil_.

"Well maybe not you but that's only because you're blinded by some insane _mind control _thing." Bella tried to defend.

I chuckled. "Yes I am." I agreed wholeheartedly. "Its called _**love **_Bella and I'm completely under its spell over you!"

She tried to turn her back on me but I catch the glimpse of her smile before she could hide it from me. Bella was blushing now and _I knew I was slowly getting through to her_. Maybe someday she'll finally realize just how much she means to me. Until then I'll just have to continue to remind her every chance I get. Which of course, I'm more than happy to do … _if only to see her smile_.

"How about breakfast?" Bella asked as she stood out of bed stretching her back and arms. "I'm going to take a quick shower … do you want me to wear anything particular today?"

After the first week or so … we decided we couldn't spend every day naked, _well not all the time anyway_. We didn't really feel like completely getting all dressed up either, _since most of the time we ended up passing out naked again anyway_. Alice and Rose had helped Bella pack her bags because they knew where we were going and Bella did not so most of her cloths were … _well frilly and lacey and lingerie_. At first Bella was not pleased but after a while and with much confidence from my reactions, she grew more comfortable with them. I was starting to think she even liked some. A few of them I really liked myself … she looked breathtaking.

"Anything will be perfect Bella." I answered as I started walking for the door, simply throwing on a pair of boxers and the house robe. "I'll be cooking in the kitchen by the time you're done."

I heard the water running. "Ok Edward, I'll try not to take too long. I just want to freshen up a little after everything!" Bella called out as I left the room.

Thinking back to last night, I smiled. We were slowly loosing the intense frenzy that we had from the first few weeks but every so often Bella would become strongly in the mood and we'd be up almost all night just enjoying our time together. Nothing made me happier that watching the pleaser over take my beautiful wife. After all this time that simple four letter word still made my heart sing and every part of me smile just at the thought. Bella was my wife now and forever as we spend the rest of our lives together. I slipped into the kitchen and started to prepare a simple but appealing breakfast for the two of us when Bella suddenly came rushing into the room with just a towel around her. Her eyes were wide and she seemed truly upset by something. Before I could ask what was wrong she slipped on the tile floors and nearly fell, I rushed over and pulled her into my arms so she wouldn't hit her head. My heart had to have skipped a beat or two by this point.

"OH! … Umm thank you." Bella said breathlessly and she looked up at me with shock before the fear returned to her eyes.

"Bella, … Bella what happened?" I asked desperately.

"I'm late! … I mean I'm like really, _really _**LATE**!" Bella stuttered out and gasped for breath as she tried to calm from her fears and from the shock of almost falling again.

I looked down at her in a confused shock as I tried to riddle out what she could mean by this. We didn't have any kind of plans that I was aware of for her to be running late for, did we? I walked over toward the table and sat with Bella curled in my arms on my lap, still trying to understand what was wrong. I had to be missing something but I couldn't put this puzzle together alone.

"Ok Bella, I'm going to need more information." I said quietly as I started rubbing calming circles on her back and down her hair.

"We've been here mouths now Edward and I … umm well I haven't …" Bella started but slowly cut off. "_I'm late_!"

"Yes, late for what Bella?" I asked desperate to help now.

Bella sighed and took a deep breath against my chest. "NO, no Edward I'm not running late … **I AM **_**LATE**_!" Bella said again emphasizing her point but I was still clueless. "_Period_."

Bella whispered the last part and I barely heard it as she buried her face into my chest and started sobbing softly. This time understanding took me over and it was all I could do to stay in this chair. I wasn't sure if I wanted to run around the island screaming for joy or just get up and dance around with room with her. The tears running down my bare chest held me in place instead. I pulled Bella tighter in my arms and guided her face up to look at me.

"You think you're pregnant Bella?" I asked trying my hardest to keep all emotion off my face so I could figure out her reaction.

"_**Maybe **_… I mean its possible!" Bella cried out and more tears rolled down her cheeks. "I mean … _we've done it enough_!"

"Are you unhappy about this Bella?" I asked and it was hard not to feel the lump blocking my throat now.

"I, …I don't know!" Bella gasped out breathlessly before shaking her head again. "No, not unhappy just … freaked out! I mean, I'm not the motherly type and I thought … well I don't know why but I thought we'd have a few years first!"

"Bella, love. You will make a wonderful mother." I answered honestly, more than relieved that she was just afraid and not unhappy about having a child with me.

"But what if I mess up our kid?" Bella asked as more tears ran over her eyes and I quickly wiped them away now.

"Hush, Bella you couldn't possible mess anyone up." I told her as I held her in my arms again and kissed the top of her head.

Then something else brought my attention back to the kitchen. The _smell of smoke _and burning food. … With all of the excitement from Bella rushing in, I'd forgotten that I was in the middle of cooking eggs _which had been burning behind us_. I quickly and carefully placed Bella on the chair while I ran over to take care of the damaged food. Eggs completely burnt to black coal and the stove was covered in black and gooey chunks from where I flipped them out turning so fast to see why Bella was running down the hall. I figured it was safest to turn everything off for now and soak the dishes, after all I had made plenty of other stuff before so we could still eat what I have done. I only burnt my eggs anyway so it really didn't matter, _Bella's meal was perfect_. I smiled as I sat back down across from Bella after getting the food brought over. _Bella didn't seem to like this very much_ and she got up only to come back over and curl up in my arms again. I wrapped her in my arms securely before sliding her plate over next to mine. We could eat like this if she wished, _I'd give anything to hold her more_!

…

Breakfast went well after that, She even allowed me to feed her at one point and I couldn't be happier! _Bella is pregnant _… with my child and we would soon be starting our own family together. … _Our own new little branch_. Everything that I had ever wanted and its all mine. Every last fantasy and dream has come true for me and all I had to do was marry the love of my life and best friend, Bella! _Things like this don't happen in the real world_, these are the stories of imagination and fairy tales. But here I am … _the worlds luckiest man_, about to have everything he could have ever wanted and more. The only thing that could possibly make this any better is if we have that little girl Bella and I had talked about all those years ago. Sure a little boy would be just as great but a little girl, … _a sweet and adorable little Bella_! Everything would be perfect then and every dream Bella and I have would be real!_ Nothing could bring me down from this happy high now_! We are parents now!

…

"So, … when do we get to tell everyone?" I asked happily as we sat around the living room, watching TV curled up together.

"Well … I don't really know _for sure _if I am or not." Bella said hesitantly. "I mean there could be _other _reasons I could be late… _really late_. But The first one that popped into my head was that because … _well _because what we've been doing here."

"Well does it mean something could be wrong?" I asked instantly feeling the overwhelming worry creeping over me again.

"Most likely not." Bella said not worried at all now. "It probably has more to do with the different climate and the fact that I've not really been around anyone is months."

"That stuff can have an effect over it … really?" I asked interestedly, … _the women's body was a beautiful yet strange thing_. "I mean I know odd things can influence them but this?"

"Well … yeah." Bella said simply. "Lots of odd things can mess with them and its always different for every girl."

"Huh? … Well then we should get a test." I said really hoping she was right the first time because I was looking forward to this.

"Where are we going to get a test way out here?" Bella asked confused and she sat up to look me in the eyes now. "Edward if I am this is going to change everything! Why are you so calm about all this … I'm kind of freaking out and talking about it isn't really helping me much. Can we change the subject for a little while."

I had no idea she was freaking out? "Bella its alright." I told her and pulled her back into my arms to help calm her. "This isn't a bad thing Bella, this is what we wanted right? … A family of our own. To start a life together? There is no reason to worry and if you were worried why didn't you say anything before?"

"Because! … Because you looked so happy about it and I was just so overwhelmed I thought it would go away but its not." Bella told me honestly and clung to me. "I'm sorry but I can't help but feel like if we have a baby _NOW _that I'm just going to mess everything up! It will be my fault something bad happens!"

"Bella don't be so ridiculous." I told her and gently kissed the top of her head. "You will make a wonderful mother and I'll be here every step of the way to help. You don't have anything to worry about, we are going into this together!"

"Are you sure you want to have a kid … right now?" Bella asked slowly, hesitantly without looking up at me.

"I can't think of a better time." I said happily running my fingers through her hair. "Sure we are still young but what would make us happier Bella, spending our youth in bliss alone or having a perfect little family? I young child of our own that needs our care?"

"I know what you're saying and yeah I get it, … I take care of everyone around me, I child should be nothing." Bella said sarcastically. "But the thing is I don't know babies. I never really gave much thought to having babies and now this is scary!"

"You don't have to be scared, that's why I'm here." I told her honestly. "Bella babies aren't that scary and we can handle this together plus we will have our families for help!"

"Ok so we go home, take the test and then tell everyone we got pregnant on our honeymoon? You're mother is going to kill me for this!" Bella pushed away from me and sat up looking very fearful now, her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly slack.

"My mother will do no such thing." I said chuckling slightly at the mere idea of my mother disproving of a new baby. "Bella, Love relax. I'm here and everything is going to be alright! I promise if we are and it worries you this much then we can talk about things later. I'll go pack our things so we can head home to get a test done. If we are then great, we can handle this! And if not then we still have plenty of time to worry about that later as well."

And with that I was on my way to gathering our things. Packing to leave the island was a little harder than packing to come here. Leaving this place would be very difficult after all the great memories Bella and I have made here. Not just from inside the bedrooms either, we have had lots of fun exploring the beaches and ocean waters. Everything about this place is magical and enchanting. We seemed to have gotten lost in the beauty of this island and all the wonders surrounding us here. _Bella wasn't too happy about all the hiking through the jungle parts _but by the time our days were done she had enjoyed herself. This house would be an amazing place to live _but not very friendly for raising kids_. No friends for them to play with, no family around to spoil them. Of course, knowing that we will be going home to a place of our own makes it a little easier. We will have our whole lives to make new memories. Happy family memories filled with love. Soon everything will be perfect and I can't possible wait to see our new baby. I just know Bella is pregnant that we will be happy together!

The Tree extra.

Between Ch 19 and 20.

(Title: Going to meet James.)

A/N: Just in case there is anyone out there, _if anyone ever reads this story_, wants to know what really happened between Bella and James that one night. The thing that really had Bella in tears.

Bella's POV. (Day 4)

I had no idea what happened back there. One minute Edward was kissing my neck and driving me crazy and then the next he was pacing around the room and _telling me to leave_? I had never seen Edward struggling with something so much before. I felt really horrible as I watched him pulling at his hair and everything. I couldn't stand it and yet I had no idea how to help him. _I don't even know what was wrong with him_. … So I left as he said and ran to the other room to get dressed. I thought about just changing and waiting for him in another room but what if he didn't want me to be here when he came out? Plus I promised to meet up with James sometime today and so I left the hotel room. Walking down the hall and out to the elevators I realized that James and I really didn't talk about a time or even a place to meet. How was I going to find him or know where to go to meet him? But I didn't have long to worry about it because as soon as the elevators stopped at the lobby James was standing on the other side waiting for me to get off.

"Oh, Good, there you are." James said smiling at me. "We really didn't make good plans the other day, did we?"

"No, I guess not." I answered back with a small smile but I was still worried about leaving Edward so it wasn't truly happy.

"Is everything alright?" James asked as he lead me out of the lobby and we started walking down the street.

"Yeah, I'm … just a little tired I guess." I lied hoping he couldn't tell like all of my other friends around me.

"Oh, well I'm sorry you didn't seem to sleep well." James replied not noticing my lies like everyone else does, that was good.

"So, where are we going?" I asked after we walked a little farther down the busy streets, it was a very nice day out today.

"Just this little place I saw yesterday. Nothing too fancy." James said smiling at me again and he even winked at me. "It's a book store actually and I thought you might really like this."

"A book store." I was smiling more naturally now, still worried about Edward but I hoped the time to himself would help.

"Yeah, and last I know this really cool place." James said as we quickly crossed the streets and continued walking.

Walking around like this was nice. It was a beautiful sunny day and the streets weren't too busy with cars, just a lot of people. I usually didn't go for many walks because I trip over air but sometimes it was just a nice way to clear your head or spend the day. Its how I came up with my little theory about the trees and using them to explain the relationships people experience. I'll admit it can seem a little strange when I'm talking to Edward and he just randomly uses it in our conversations but it shows he understood and that to some degree, he agrees with me. Mostly it shows he listens to me. Of course, I wasn't with Edward right now, I'm out with James and still having a really nice walk with him. Soon we came to this little shop squeezed between two very large looking buildings. The book store was bigger on the inside and filled, floor to ceiling with books. All kinda of books, new ones, old ones, think and thin, and from almost every genre and … _I couldn't stop smiling_.

"So, … what do you think?" James asked as he watched me.

"I think this place is amazing!" I said and quickly rushed off to search the rows after rows of books.

I could hear James laughing slightly at me but I couldn't be bothered to care much, I was loving this store. "I'm glad you like it so much because we can spend as much time in here as you'd like. The other place doesn't even open until later in the afternoon." James explained to me as he slowly followed me up and down all the aisle, I was looking around while he was just watching me.

A part of me wondered what kind of place wouldn't open until later in the after noon but the rest of me was too focused on the wonderful things in front of me. This place was filled with so many wonders and the store keep was this nice man that showed me to the best sellers section and helped James find something he was looking for himself. I was having a great time, reading book after book and just searching the rows for something new and exciting. James found a nice quiet sitting area to read whatever it was he found and I would join him every time I found a book. I usually don't get too excited over many things but finding a place like this was wonderful to me. The book store wasn't really busy today which meant we pretty much had the whole thing to ourselves. I could spend all day surrounded by books like this and never get bored because on every shelf was a new adventure just waiting to be read. … Sure, I've found many books I didn't like that way but I if you don't look then you'll never find the ones you really love.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" James asked after he finished reading the same book he found from the beginning, he wasn't a slow reader he was just taking his time to enjoy it more.

I however, was reading faster than I had ever before and finished more than three stacks before he finished one. "I'm having a really great time, thanks a lot James. This was really nice of you." I answered knowing that most people wouldn't choose to stay all day locked in a book store.

"Its no problem, really." James said as he picked up another book, one from my finished piles. "Besides, its worth it just to see the look on your face as you find a new book or while you're reading one of the books and the plot gets good."

I started blushing, I know I get drawn into the stories sometimes because Edward would tell me all the time. "Oh, ok." I answered back and pulled the book up to cover my blushing face. "As long as you're not too bored with all of this."

"I'm more than entertained Bella." James said and I could hear his smile. "Keep reading we still have a few hours to kill."

So that's just what we did, kept reading and killed time. We at one point, left to go find something to eat but it was across the street and James took me right back afterwards. Hours flew by and the book store manager even stayed open an hour later just for us, I finished more books today then ever in one sitting and found some that I really loved. This was turning out to be a much better day than I thought it would be after what happened with Edward but I was still glad all the same. … I was also missing Edward but I tried to keep that in check because it wasn't like I was with the girls this time. I was with James a really nice guys, _to me anyway_, and he didn't need to hear about how pathetic I was about missing my boyfriend. But even with missing Edward I was still have a good time out with James. When the book store had to finally close, James and I started walking again and I noticed just how late it was getting. It wasn't dark out yet but street lights were coming on.

…

We finally find this other place that James was talking about and now I understand why it doesn't open until late. It was a club. From the looks of things from the outside it was mostly a dance club with load music and the smell of drinks in the air. I stopped in my tracks when I realized that was where he was taking me.

"Come on, Bella." James said when he noticed my hesitation. "Its just a little dancing? What is there to be afraid of?"

"Falling." I whispered mostly to myself but I know he heard me because he tried to cover up a chuckle.

"Come on, I promise nothing bad is going to happen." James said looking very sincere and held out his hand for me.

I didn't want to be rude because after all, James spend all day at a book store for me just so we could come here. It would be selfish if I didn't go in with him just because I was afraid of falling on my face in front of everyone in the place. So I took his hand and allowed James to lead me into what may very well be my greatest nightmare yet. Dancing at a club in front of people I don't know.

"Bella, would you relax." James said as we sat down somewhere dark in the back of the place. "I go to clubs all the time and trust me, nothing bad is going to happen tonight."

"I can't dance, James." I told him as I say down. "I can't, I'll trip or I'll cause some one else to trip and it will be a disaster."

"It will not." James said but he couldn't fight off his laughter this time, just a small little laugh. "I'm sorry but its just cute how pouty you are about all this. Its just a little dancing."

"I don't know." I said hesitantly but he wasn't listening anymore, James stood up and walked over to my side of the table once again hand out for me to take. "What if I hurt someone, or even you?"

"Then I'd be luck, cause you'd have to get pretty close in order to hurt me." James said confidently and winked at me.

This action made me laugh a little and so I took his hand, what damage could I really cause? "I warned you though." I told him.

"Then I get what's coming to me." James teased as he lead us to the dance floor, it wasn't really crowded but close enough.

As we got closer to the dance floor James was pulling me closer to him. He spun me around and when he found a spot her liked he pulled me really close to him and started dancing. I know this is what is normal for clubs and stuff but I wasn't used to it myself. Dancing wasn't really my thing to start with and when I did it was usually at school, with Edward. This was different though, this was a club and James wasn't Edward. He was holding me closer than Edward usually did and the music was much faster and loader. The beat was pounding and I could feel it in my heart. Like it was trying to match the beat of the music to the beat of my heart and bouncing off the walls inside my chest. I wouldn't say it was terrible, dancing this way … with James but it was different. As the night continued and I hadn't killed anyone, I actually started having a little fun. The music wasn't completely horrible and James was a pretty good dancer, plus he didn't let me fall. A few more songs and then he lead me back to the table to rest and then rushed off to get us some drinks. I was glad cause the dancing was making me rather thirsty and I really didn't want to say anything.

"Here you go, Bella." James said as he handed me a drink before sliding into the booth right up next to me.

"Thanks, James." I replied truly thankful to have something.

"Wow, … You're a really great dancer Bella." James said after taking a drink from his glass and setting it on the table. "You really should come out and do it more often."

"Well, I don't know about that." I said slightly blushing again. "But thank you, James. It really was better than I thought."

He stretched out his arms on the back of the booth and smiled at me again. "Well, I'm glad you're having a nice time." James said and honestly I really was have a great time with him.

After awhile of resting a song came on that James got really excited about so we were off again to dance. This song seemed alright to me but I had never even heard it before. Very fast and full of up beat poundings. The voice was so load it was muffled in the rest of the song but what little I heard was good. James apparently really enjoyed this song and we were dancing together again. With every new song this time, James would pull me closer and closer to him. At first I didn't think anything of it but by now we were so close that there was no space between us. … I wasn't sure I liked this very much but I didn't want to upset him. He wasn't trying to do anything that bad, I was just a little uncomfortable. I tried to pull back just a little, enough to give me some breathing room but James was dancing so fast and his grip on me was so strong that I couldn't do anything without making it a big deal. I really didn't want to ruin the whole night by being shy so I just tried to get over my insecurities and move along to the music again. Then James leaned his head down and was right up against my ear.

"By the way, you look really hot tonight." James whispered to me and I felt my whole body tense up, I'm not sure why?

James wound his arms tighter around me and instead of just holding me while we danced, he was moving them up and down my back. This was getting a little too intense for me but I couldn't move out of his grip very easily. He's right hand moved down just a little lower then it was all night but he didn't stop. While we were still dancing he slipped his right hand over my backside and I froze then. No more dancing and I tried to pull back from him again.

"James, what are you doing?" I asked as his grip on me grew tighter, he wasn't going to let me go now.

"Don't be shy, Babe." James said teasingly. "Just dance with me, come on … it will be fun. Trust me."

He was still talking right in my ear and pulling me closer as I tried to get him to let go. "James, this isn't funny." I said and pushed harder against his chest but it was no use, he was too strong.

"Don't be … like that, Babe." James said slowly and I guess I understand the problem now, … he's kind of drunk. "Let's have a little fun, shall we now?"

"James, I think we should go now." I said flatly trying to get him to reason with me, I haven't had much experiences dealing with drunken people where Emmett, Jasper or Edward wasn't there to take care of the guy for me. "James I said enough now."

"Oh, … so you want to go then." James said smiling … or more like grinning at me now. "Well then say no more. The hotel is just around the corner from here and my room is just on first floor."

"No James, I think its time you take me back to my place." I said strongly. "James this night is over and I want to leave so let go."

"But won't Edward get in the way back at you're room?" James said suddenly confused and he was glaring.

"You're not coming in." I explained. "James, just let … Hang on, James, nothing is going to happen."

"Oh but it is." James said and he started pushing me backwards, I felt something hit hard against me, the wall?

I had no idea what was going on. James had been really great all day, at the book store, when get went out to eat; but now… he was being the type of guy everyone else knows him as. I had no idea what I was going to do. He was too strong for me and I couldn't start screaming because we were in the back again and no one would hear me over the music. Plus it was too dark to hope that some one might spot us and come to help me. James had planned this out very well and now I was trapped with him. Confused and very frightened, what was I going to do now? Once I was completely backed up into the wall, James started running his hands up and down my body and no matter what I did, I couldn't stop him. He even leaned into me and started nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck and along the collar of my shirt. I really didn't want to be here right now and I wished I never left Edward alone this morning. Now _I was sure that he would hate me_. How was I going to explain this to Edward once I got back, … if _I even make it back to the hotel_. I was completely disgusted with myself and the whole situation now. As James continued to do whatever he wanted with me, I tried my hardest to close my eyes and forget everything I was feeling, everything I was hearing and just disappear until he was done with me. I tried to forget, to escape from this terrible nightmare. _I'm never going to a club again_! Then I realized that James's legs were spread apart on either side of mine and where I couldn't move my arms, my legs were free. I suddenly kicked up as hard as I could and when he let go, _I ran and fast_!


End file.
